Great Lakes & Expectations- The Date (between 37 and 38)

Regina arrived at the restaurant at exactly 7:30, wearing the same thing she’d worn to work- her red top/dress cut like Tsunade’s with black and white trim, black thigh-high leather boots over black pants, and a white jacket. It was a limited color palette, for sure, but if there wasn’t a point in trying to hide her relationship to Jiraiya, there was some limited cover in embracing it. 

Plus, comfy.

Shiranui-san sauntered out- evidently he’d been waiting inside. He hadn’t changed clothes, either. He had ditched the senbon, though, which she appreciated.

He held out his arm and she took it, allowing him to lead her inside and over to a table he’d evidently had prepared. 

It was slightly secluded from the rest of the dining area by a woven reed divider, and he’d had a candle lit.

He pulled out her chair, and she sat in it, letting him gently push her forward to the table.

Shiranui slid into his chair and made eye contact, and then he grinned. The effect was dazzling- a sparkle hit her eyes and she blinked involuntarily.

‘...Did he put, like, very fine glitter in his teeth? What fuckery?’

“How was your day?” He leaned forward. 

‘You were...there. The whole day. I left you at the office three hours ago, while you were posing by the fax.’’

“It was fine.” She said instead. “How was yours, Shiranui-san?”

“Lovely,” he said, eyes twinking. “I got to spend all day with you. And please, call me Genma. I hate to keep you at a distance.”

She blinked. 

“Dial it back?” he asked, losing some of the frankly disturbing affected charm.

She pursed her lips ever so slightly. “Maybe just a little bit?” She’d agreed to go on a date with Genma, not whatever charming and slightly-less disrespectful individual he was currently impersonating.

“On it.” He winked. 

The waitress came by, and distributed what Regina could only describe as an exclusive menu. 

“The owner is a friend.” Genma supplied, evidently ascertaining the source of her mild confusion. He sipped at his lemon and mint infused water. “She said you’d probably enjoy the second one, based on your usual order at that other place.”

She didn’t know what to say to that. Regina appreciated thoroughness, but it was a little off-puttingly creepy.

He leaned forward and tapped on one of the drink options. “The fruit-infused sake is delicious, too, if a little… strong.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“Want to try?” He asked. “I seem to remember that you like ume best- is it the sour flavors you like?”

“Yes, actually.” She hadn’t noted that he was paying attention to her fruit needs. “I do love lemon, so yuzu would be nice.”

He raised his finger and suavely ordered a succession of things she couldn’t quite track. “Did you decide what you’d like to eat, Rejina-san?”

Even the waitress’ bow raised- just a bit. Regina let it go. 

“What you recommended sounds lovely.” To be honest, she wasn’t great at reading artful menus. She’d just have to hope it didn’t include fish. 

“No fish.” He said, with a smile. “I promise.”

Her jaw dropped slightly.

‘Is he actually reading my mind, or has he spent the last week and a half compiling information on my likes and dislikes?’

Probably the last one. He seemed like he was preening, so she steeled her face back to pleasant impassivity. 

He ordered her meal, then turned back to her. 

“So, what made you decide to come to Konoha?” He asked, seeming unconcerned.

‘I was dumped off in a post office, told my mother died, and accosted in a bathroom by an agent of a famous missing nin.’ seemed like a real mood-killer.

“I wanted to see where my father grew up.” She said simply, taking her own sip of water. “Is this an interrogation? Are you checking my background now?” She grinned. 

He smirked back. “Well, you know how it is. Shinobi are naturally suspicious and invasive about potential allies, friends, and partners. Often, they tend to be personally secretive as well- which when combined seems to do the work of chasing any and all of the above relationships away.”

“Astute.” Regina leaned forward a little bit. “Would you say you’re closed-off, then?”

“Me? No.” He dismissed it flatly. “I make the conscious decision to leave my life open for blessings. It’s just that it’s a tendency you want to lean on when people fling sharp things around.”

“Ah.”

The waitress arrived with more infused water, and two beautiful chilled glasses with a yellow liquid. Regina assumed that might be the yuzu sake.

“Oh, good.” He reached out, flashing a quick jutsu before picking up the pitcher.

She must have been making a face, because he paused.

“Just checking it for poison or… other suspect materials.” He clarified, looking a little embarrassed. “Habit- personally, but also as a bodyguard. You’re delicate.”

“Ah. Cheery. I assume it was clear, then?” She asked, handing over her empty glass. 

He smiled.

He filled her glass, and his own, like a barbarian. Then he drank his with some flourish. 

‘Cheeky. I kinda like it.’

“Ok, so what was that jutsu, then?” She asked, rather invested in self-preservation. 

“I thought you were a civiliannnn.” He waggled his wrists unbecomingly. “Why do you wanna know ninja shit?”

She grinned despite herself. “Maybe I just like living?”

He leaned across the table and delicately cupped her hand. “I’ll teach you, if you want.”

Regina simultaneously felt a tingling down below and an eerie sense of exactly where scratching that itch would go. Badly.

‘Oh no. This man is dangerous. I am on the edge of a slippery slope- I have the uncanny feeling if I fall that I’ll end up unemployed, barefoot, and confused outside of a bed-and-breakfast somewhere.’

His pinky finger lightly brushed up and down her hand, and her entire body tingled. 

‘Amended: I will also probably go bald. I am too Type A to go along with this man without risking total madness and ruin.’

He quirked his eyebrow at her. 

‘Fuck it.’

“So, if you were going to teach me jutsu, would I need to do anything special?” She paused and pulled her shoulders back, showing a little bit of cleavage. “...Wear anything special?”

“You don’t need to wear anything,” he said, immediately on board for where this was going.

“Nothing at all?” She asked, licking her lips. “Then what would we do?”

“Depends on what you’re into.” He purred. “And how luxurious your futon is.”

‘Buddy, I have a more comfortable and supportive bed than you’ve ever dreamed of.’

“Organization gets me hot, actually.” She said, feeling honest and more than a little horny at this point. “And, ah, control.”

He took it in stride. “I can work with that, Regina.” Something slid up against her leg under the table.

“So, how would we do this?” She asked.

He grinned. “I always thought I’d make an incredible trophy husband.”

She hummed. “I think you’re right. What are you bringing to this proposed partnership? Aside from great sex. Obviously.”

“Obviously.” The foot under the table hooked behind her knee, silently dragging both their chairs closer. “I also have a great ass.”

“I have noted that.” She said, waving her free hand. The other was playing a rather intense war of thumbs, rubbing in circles. “Anything else?”

“Stunning good looks.” He brought up his free hand to count them off. “That’s three things. Plus, I would be so cute cleaning house.”

“I already have a housekeeper.” She giggled. Was it just her, or was the room a little warm?

He laughed. “That’s good. I’m terrible at cleaning, I’d just look good doing it.”

“How often would you be spending time naked but for an apron?” She asked, folding her fingers through his.

“Roughly 100%.” He leaned even closer. A hand was on her knee, inching closer and closer up her thigh.

‘Uh. A thought occurs.’

“I have two nine-year olds.” Regina said with a smile. ‘Hope that’s not a deal-breaker.’

“0%.” He corrected himself. “That would be more difficult.”

“As a trophy husband, how good at parenting would you think you’d be?” She asked.

He grimaced. “Not. Sorry.”

“The children are non-negotiable.” She said, feeling a little deflated. She was still into him, physically, but this was seeming increasingly like it wouldn’t work out in the long-term. 

The hand on her thigh stopped creeping up, and lightly squeezed her leg. 

“That’s difficult.” He mused. “Though, for something short-term?”

“I’m not really sure I want to do that.” She said regretfully. “Reputation.”

“You’re very concerned about that.” He pulled back slightly, dialing back from the very intense contact, but still touching. “It makes sense, though. You need it.”

“Mmmhhhmmmm.” She swallowed. This had turned a bit sour. 

“It’s ok.” He reassured her. “This is great. Just… maybe...um. We should talk about something else.”

“Yeah, of course.” Regina jumped on the chance. “What do you like to do in your spare time?”

He blinked. “I train. Outside of work, I train for hours.”

“Have any outside interests?” She asked, feeling a little desperate. Wasn’t this what people talked about on dates? It had always worked before.

“I’m kind of doing that right now.” He winced, rubbing his thumb over hers reassuringly. “Ah. What are your interests?”

“Reading, researching, onsen… animals?” She tried again and again. 

“I mean- I know how to skin animals. Is that relevant?” He asked. 

“Noooo.” She had meant like, petting dogs. “Why do you know that?”

“Everyone here knows that.” He informed her casually. “Part of shinobi survival training. You learn how to kill all sorts of animals for food and resources. I even killed a bunny with a garrote once.”

“This is another one of those non-universal experiences.” She said, head swimming. She felt a little nauseous. 

He leaned back, removing his hands from her hand and thigh. 

She sighed. 

“It seems like we’re not terribly compatible, life-wise.” He said regretfully. “Or in interests.”

“Yeah.” She turned to take a sip of her drink, ruminating on the bitter taste. Regina didn’t enjoy it as much as she usually would have.

Their meals arrived, steaming hot and fragrant. 

‘Baked chicken thighs. Good choice.’ Her mouth watered a little bit. ‘Smells like lemon and garlic.’

She had manners, so she didn’t immediately cram the whole thing into her mouth. 

Genma had evidently ordered some sort of roasted beef thing, with… she sniffed. Truffles and potatoes. Was it sexy that he knew what was good food? 

Weirdly, this food-based attraction to him was making the rest of it seem worse somehow.

She took a bite of her own food. It was incredible- juicy and tangy, with a rosemary and garlic crust. She looked back up, and he was eating his own food silently.

“This sucks.” She leaned back into her own chair. “Not the food. The food is amazing. Us not being compatible sucks.”

“It does suck.” His face was as sour as hers, probably. Then his face froze. “But. It doesn’t have to be so bad, I think.”

“Why’s that.” She asked. Regina felt more than a little dejected that her first date in this hellhole had already flopped. It had taken more than a year, and it wasn’t exactly boosting her confidence.

“Because I know someone perfect for you.” He raised his finger. “A friend of mine. He’s very organized, loves reading and music. Very stable, likes kids.”

“Okay, but then what are we going to do here?” She looked down at the table. They still had a romantic dessert to get through. 

“You seem to value your privacy, based on all that snooping I did.”

She stared at him. He truly defied words, sometimes.

“First of all, we’re going to be friends. I like talking to you.” He grinned at her. “But also, this is a good thing. Everyone’s going to think we’re dating anyway.”

“...So no one will be bothering me about who I might actually be dating.” She thought about that.

‘It’s not a bad call. I don’t think I’ll take a reputation hit- he has a reputation for being a flirt, and combined with Jiraiya’s reputation I think they’d think I was just given to unfortunate taste.’

“Exactly.” He winked at her. “So we might as well be absolutely filthy with it. Sound fun?”

She laughed and laughed. “It does. It sounds like so much fun.”

“Mmmm.” He blew a kiss at her. “Well, gorgeous, we may as well start now. Want some of my dinner?”

‘Scandalous.’ She grinned. “Definitely.”

He picked up a bite-sized bit of beef with his own chopsticks and held it across the table suggestively, and she opened her mouth. There was hard eye contact as he fed it to her.

‘Well, that was basically a make-out session in public.’ Weirdly, instead of feeling stressed, she felt… free. No more judgement.

“Want some of mine?” She offered, holding a tiny bite of chicken between her chopsticks. 

“Darling, I thought you’d never ask.” Genma purred, opening his mouth. She dipped it in lemon sauce and lightly brushed it over his bottom lip before letting him take a bite.

Out of the corner of her eye, the server who had been coming to refill their waters backed away.

He saw it too, if the glint in his eyes was any indication. 

“Mmmm. You treat me so well.” He looked at her. “Shall we finish dinner and take this show on the road?”

They shared a slice of very rich chocolate cake with one spoon, and he walked her home. 

“You’re going on a trip for a while, right?” He asked casually, with his arm around her waist. “Around a month?”

“That’s right.” She said, leaning into him a bit. He was very sturdy, for being so regrettably short.

“I’ll set up a date with Raidou then.” He said with confidence. “I’m sure it’ll go great. He loves me, I like you, you have so much in common… perfect.”

“Is Raidou even looking for a date?” She asked bemusedly. Raidou had been one of the few people in the office to barely register the new flirting culture. He was very serious.

Genma barked out a laugh, and then dismissed it by squeezing her tighter. “Yes. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

He dropped her off at the gate, and waited until she had de-activated the seals and walked inside. 

“Good night, Rejina!” He called. “I’ll see you tomorrow. And hopefully, every day after.”

‘He’s the absolute worst.’ She focused on flushing out the redness in her cheeks. ‘I like him so much. We would have been so bad together, but that date was a good idea.’

The boys were already in bed, so she took a book out to the onsen and read until she finally wound down enough to go to sleep.

“Raidou.” Regina chuckled to herself. She flipped the page. “I don’t think I would have ever seen that one coming.”