Lost in the Labyrinth Ch. 1 (Unedited)

Lost in Labyrinth

By: Bubbajack

Editors/Co-Author: Icysnowsage, First Hassan/Darklord 331

Special Consultant: Heliosion

Special thanks go out to my Super Donors: Alexander Murry, Ben wanless, Blacksanta557, Bobby Glass, and Jareth Norris. As well as all my other donors and readers in general.

Obligatory First Chapter Disclaimer: We do NOT own the following: Arefureta, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Campione! Danmachi, Delicious in Dungeon, Goblin Slayer, Magi the Magical Labyrinth, or Persona 5. They all belong to their respective owners.

Ch.1: Dungeons and Immortals

Xander’s head hurt. It hurt alot. Not as much as his chest where Dawn tased him though. That hurt too. In fact everything was sore. Really he was just in a lot of pain. He tried to move his stiff limbs and felt dirt under his hand, “Where…. Where am I?” groaned out Xander as he opened his sole remaining eye and saw that he was on the ground and not in his car.

Xander got up and stood up and dusted himself off and looked around, “Well looks like Dawnie and Buffster really are sisters whether magical or not. Both know how to leave a guy hanging.

Xander turns and sees the sign that says, “Welcome to Sunnydale!” but the ‘dale’ was marked off and replaced with Hell. He would’ve chuckled but he was in too foul a mood at the moment to put forth the effort. All he could feel was shame and self-disgust. ‘You had one job Xander! One job! Get Dawnie out of here and you couldn’t even do that right! Worse, she got the drop on you, tased you, and booted you out of your own car! Probably in some misguided attempt to keep me safe,’ He thought to himself as he began to jog back into the demonically infested town.

(...)

He was just inside the town's limits when the ground began to shake uncontrollably, sending the one-eyed carpenter to his knees. The very earth seemed to implode in on itself, as if it were a bouncy house being jumped around in by children. Despite this, Xander carried on. Crawling on his knees towards the center of town. Towards the sounds of violence, and all the screams. The people he loved and cared for were there he knew, and they could be the ones screaming at the moment. There might not be anything he could do, but dammit! Xander wouldn’t know till he tried! Normal one of the Scoobies be damned! So Xander continued to inch forward, like the worm he often felt like he was compared to as his friends who seemed so much larger than life in comparison… Then the earth in front of him opened like a hungry maw, cavernous, black, and hungry. The earth bucked like the tongue of some giant throwing him into the unknown depths… the last thing he saw was Dawn’s horrified face as he fell into the dark… and he heard her scream

“XANDER! NO!”

(...)

“...is. You need… Up…” A voice called coming in and out.

“Uuh,” He groaned, his head throbbing in pain, for the second time that day.

A hand gently slapped his face as a feminine voice with a southern lilt called, “Wake up Mister Harris! Don’t fall back asleep! If you do, we'll both most likely meet our death in this dreadful place.”

Despite the southern twang, the voice sounded familiar, and Xander found himself coming around. Partially out of curiosity and mainly due to the throbbing in his head, “Ohh, my aching… Harmony?”

Xander found himself looking up into the blonde’s face, his head was currently resting in her lap, as her hand was gently running through his hair. When she saw his eye open, Harmony put her hand over her heart as she sighed in relief. “Thank goodness you came around Mister Harris! You almost gave me my death of fright.”

Despite what was probably a concussion, Xander rolled off of her lap and got shakily to his feet, nearly throwing up as he did so while the world seemed to tilt from side to side as he did so. “Get… away from me… bloodsucker.”

“Mister Harris, you need to lay back down,” Harmony called her voice fleck with southern belle undertones as she patted her lap. “You likely have a concussion and have the devil's own luck due to somehow not breaking your neck from that fall you took.”

“Yeah right,” Xander accused, pointing his finger at one of the three Harmony’s he could currently see. “You’d love me to lay down in your lap. Easier for me to be turned into your juicebox that way right?”

Giving him a deadpan glare, Harmony replied, “Mister Harris, I am no longer a kindred of the night, or has that fact not crossed your mind in your addled state?”

“Wah… Why’re you suddenly talking so funny, Harmony?”

“I… you utter fool! You aren’t willing to lay on my lap, will you at least sit down before you fall down and worsen your condition?”

Not removing his eye from her Xander set his back to the wall and slowly slid down until his butt hit the floor of what he could only call a cave. It was dimly lit by luminous moss, and the occasional audible drip of water falling from stalagmites could be heard. Xander took all of this in as he asked, “What do you mean you're not a vampire anymore? That’s… that’s not possible Harmony.”

Giving him a wan smile the blonde replied, “For a normal person, you would be very much correct Mr. Harris, but much like your dear friend Elizabeth, I am far from normal myself.”

“What do you mean?” Xander asked warily as he kept his eyes on the blonde.

Giving him a rueful smile, Harmony replied, “Well Sugga, I'm something of an immortal.” 

“Yeah, you're a vampire. it comes with the territory,” Xander said, nodding along.

Harmony shook her head in the negative. “No, you great dumb oaf. I mean, I'm an immortal, as in I don't age and can't die…” She then paused and added, “Well, I can be killed, but under one very specific condition.”

Brow furrowing Xander stared at Harmony for a long moment before saying, “You're serious, aren't you?”

“As serious as sugar in tea, Hun.”

“OK, seriously, what's with the Southern accent?” Xander just had to know.

Giving him a coquettish smile, Harmony replied, “Well, that's because I'm from the South, dear. Specifically from Georgia.”

OK…” Xander nodded along, deciding to buy her story for now before digging for more information, “You said you're an immortal. How long have you been… Immortal?”

“Since around the War of 1812, sugga.”

“Do you have any kind of proof?” Xander asked dubiously, “Any at all?”

Harmony laughed a little bit, “I had an entire church full of objects from my travels… But it's kind of gone now, along with the hellmouth,” Harmony said with an uncaring shrug. “Being nearly two-hundred years old, you tend to realize that things are just that, things. Things can be replaced, but lives? Those are the truly irreplaceable things.”

“Now how do I prove you aren’t a vampire right now and lying to me?”

Harmony looked around, eyeing a particularly sharp looking stalagmite before giving an airy sigh and turning to Xander she said, “You're going to have to pull me off afterwards alright? Then you’ll have your proof.”

“Wait, what’re you-” Xander didn’t get to finish as Harmony threw herself onto the stake-like stone, shocking him… what shocked him more was that she didn’t dust upon her heart getting impaled. Sure it wasn’t a wooden stake but having her heart utterly destroyed like that should’ve had the same effect… or so he thought. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!” He swore as he ran forward and pulled the slender blonde off the stone spike. “Shit! Harmony I’m sorry I didn’t believe you but damn! You didn’t have to pull a Juliet on me! Why’d you have to leave me alone in this hellhole you crazy… bitch?” His sole remaining eye widened in shock as he watched in horror and fascination as Harmony’s flesh rapidly knit itself back together until it was perfect and blemish free sans some bloodstains. Seconds later, she took a shuddering gasp as her eyes shot open.

“You're alive!” He hugged her just as tightly as he did Buffy after he gave her CPR in the Master’s Lair five odd years ago. “Thank God!”

Gently returning the hug, Harmony all but whispered into his ear, “I take it you believe me now, Mr. Harris?” 

“Xander,” He replied, “You can call me Xander.” He said with relief heavy in his tone. “We’re probably gonna be stuck together for a while and Mr. Harris is my father and we don’t exactly get along so… yeah.”

“I’ll settle for calling you Alexander or Alex. You're a man who truly lives up to your name. You are a protector of man and I won’t sully it or you by calling you something so… childish.” Harmony said with a slight pout.

Xander had half a mind to defend Willow but decided it wasn’t worth it. “Do what you want, Harms,” He said, getting up and pulling her to her feet, before finally taking a good look around the cave they were in. It was small, with the luminous moss coming from a crack leading into the unknown exterior. “Well looks like that’s the way out of here,” Xander took a step, and felt his head swim.

“You aren’t in any condition to go anywhere,” Harmony told him sternly. “Stay here and rest as best you can. I’ll go take a look around.” As he said this she pulled a foot long dagger from behind her back.

Looking between her and the weapon she had concealed, Xander said in an impressed tone, “You carry a dagger around with you?”

She just shrugged, “It was Sunnydale, if you didn’t walk around carrying a weapon, you were either ignorant, stupid, or suicidal,” Gently settling back down on the floor with back against the wall and facing the entrance, she continued, “I had my own reasons for being armed though, now stay here, I’m going to scope things out. I should be back in about thirty minutes to an hour… if I’m not, assume the worst.”

“Real chipper aren’t you?” Xander shot back, rolling his singular eye.

“Being alive nearly two-hundred years and seeing all manner of human stupidity and dying innumerable ways tends to make one cynical and jaded sugga’. Now rest, I'll be back as soon as I can.” Harmony promised before she squeezed through the crack in the wall. Xander would later blame this errant thought on his concussion, but at the time, couldn’t help but think, even though he hated to see her go, he loved to watch her leave.

(...)

Harmony held her dagger in a firm reverse grip as she took in her surroundings. Somehow both she and Alexander had ended up in a misty forest. Moss seemed to cover every stone she could see and tall trees seemed to loom like silent sentinels. The main thing she noticed however is that it was quiet… far too quiet. There was no buzzing of bugs, no wind blowing through the trees and this light didn’t seem to be coming from the sun but the same bioluminescent moss from their cave. Only now it was about ten meters up. The ground seemed to slope upwards before leading to a set of stairs leading further up and into the unknown.

‘Well if there are stairs, that likely means civilization and people. Hopefully we can get Alexander help for his head trauma.’ The immortal thought to herself as she made her way towards the staircase. Yet the utter unnatural silence continued to nag at her. For the only time she’d ever been in such utter solitude out in the wilderness was when the nearby animal sensed a dangerous predator. From experience, Harmony knew humans weren’t nearly as dangerous nor total masters of their environment as they’d like to think themselves to be. So she kept on guard.

Her caution served her well for when she heard a sudden fwip she dove to the side and dodged what she soon found to be a very long and sticky tongue of a one-eyed frog creature. It was about the size of a small dog, of mottled brown and green, with a single red orb staring at her hungrily. In response to its ravenous gaze, Harmony Kendall, flipped her blade, grabbing it point first and threw it at the amphibian monster. It struck home, impaling the beast right in its ocular organ, and with a surprised croak, the frog thing twitched for a moment in its death throes before going still. Only once she was sure it wasn’t playing Opposum did Harmony go and retrieve her weapon. The moment she pulled it out, the monster turned to dust, leaving a small red gem behind. Gingerly reaching down, the immortal picked the gem up and pocketed it when she didn’t spontaneously burst into flames. ‘This place has monsters that leave behind loot when killed. Interesting.’ She thought as she continued her journey towards the stairs. Upon turning towards the staircase, she was suddenly gored in the side by a white blur. Bleeding badly from a gaping wound in the side of her stomach, Harmony turned and saw… a horned rabbit. It was a white rabbit with a unicorn horn on its head, her blood staining its horn.

‘Is that a jackalope?’ She wondered, the blood loss making her heady. Readying her dagger again, she prepared to defend herself. One moment the rabbit was there, almost daintily licking some of her blood off its paw, the next Harmony felt herself getting impaled yet again. This time in the thigh. ‘Its too fast! I can’t keep track of it with my eyes.’ the immortal thought to herself. But Harmony Kendall has been alive for nearly two-hundred years now, and she has learned a trick or two. With her eyes closed, Harmony listened. Waiting for the sound of that thing, to move.

There, behind her and to the left. She moved, swinging her dagger with both hands as she did so! There was an audible clang as the metal weapon impacted with something that sent reverberations up her arm… When Harmony opened her eyes again, she found she had shorn two-thirds of the hare's horn off leaving one jagged bit left. If it was possible for a rabbit to be angry this one looked furious. Its nose twitched non-stop as it seemed to glare at the blonde warrior woman. Both monster and immortal stared each other down for a moment more before they charged at the same time, resulting in a double impalement. Harmony took a blow to the stomach, blood mixing with offal and bile filling her throat, while her daggers blade had found the horned hare’s eye. As the darkness claimed her, Harmony thought, ‘We’re going to need help if we want to get out of here in one piece.’

(...)

Harmony’s eyes opened and she looked around her surroundings. She saw the magic stone from the rabbit she killed laying on the ground. Thinking quickly Harmony got up and grabbed the magic stone and held it close to her along with the magic stone she had in her grip. Honestly, Harmony didn’t know what the stones were worth but resources were needed and she already felt the breeze through the many holes in her clothes. She made sure to hold her dagger in one hand as she left her temporary resting place.

“Those were expensive clothes. I spent a lot of money on them,” pouted Harmony as she made her way through the forest and mist. She kept her eyes open and searched her surroundings for any more monsters that may hunger for her flesh or desire her demise. She found the steps for the next floor after stealthily making sure to make little to no noise. She saw a few creatures but most were not bright enough to notice Harmony even though she felt as if something was watching her. She honestly felt uncomfortable like she was playing The Game but her opponent was permanently hidden from her.

She looked around and noticed an odd creature she couldn’t place having seen before on the hellmouth; it was a tall tri-pointed creature that was mostly black with three sharp and pointed claws. Harmony stilled when the creature paused in its treading. Harmony held her breath and watched as the monster slowly turned its head in her direction. Minutes ticked by at the stand off when sounds started to be heard in one of the passages.

“Goddess, is there any reason you are one of the few gods who can enter the dungeon?” spoke a feminine voice causing the shadow creature to turn fully and start to walk towards the voice.

Harmony paid attention as the monster turned a corner it was pelted full of arrows that seemed to shine as almost a silverish blue.

“A good explanation Lante is my purview as the goddess of the hunt lets me have some defenses that allow me to fight monsters even in this weakened vessel. However, I dare not traverse too far into the dungeon risking death. So I am happy to traverse with you all on the higher floors but the lower we go into the dungeon the greater risk you and myself will become.”

‘Goddess. Oh lord not another one,’  were the thoughts running to Harmony’s mind as she worried she came across another immortal impersonating a god? She was already trying to escape wherever the hell she and Alexander showed up now she has to fight a player in the game along with her cult. 

She readied her dagger and prayed to higher power, “If any real god is listening please grant me strength and safety. It is not only my life in danger if I fall here.”

The corridor got deathly quiet as a few more arrows shot into the monster making sure it was dead.

A head of blue hair connected to a voluptuous woman wearing white and blue trimmed attire, popped up from around the corner. “I heard your prayer and have come to help.”

“And… Just who are you?” Harmony asked not lowering her dagger at all, suspicion heavy in her tone.

Before the woman could answer, two other similarly dressed young ladies came rushing around the corner, bows drawn.

“How dare you point your dagger at our Goddess! Show some respect!” one with pointed ears and light blue hair, growled defensively.

“You’d best have a good explanation for your rudeness.” A slightly tanned woman with reddish-brown hair and eyes wearing an armor over a black and green shirt  replied in clipped tones

Yet the senior amongst them just put her hands on their shoulders and said, “Lante, Rethusa, that’s enough, this poor soul is likely at her wits end being in the Dungeon as ill-equipped as she is,” The woman of ethereal beauty smiled at her disarmingly, “Tell me, what brings you down this far in the Dungeon? And with naught but a dagger? You also said you had someone depending on you? An injured party member perhaps?” She enquired in genuine concern.

“I… have an injured friend, yes,” Harmony said after a moment’s hesitation. She lead the group of women with her back to where she met the steps to the lower flower. The adventurers with the goddess commented on the sheer tenacity she had to have suffered to get to the 10th floor with only a dagger.

Eventually they reached where Harmony left her companion.

“He’s in there,” was all she said while pointing to the crevice where Alexander was currently hidden. “He took a nasty bump to the head and likely has a concussion,”

Looking to the hidden entrance the woman pursed her lips for a moment, before saying, “Let’s see to him then.”

“Lady Artemis, is something wrong?” Rethusa her captain asked.

Glancing at the reddish brown haired captain the Goddess of the Hunt replied, “Not exactly but my main reason for coming to the tenth floor today is because I sensed the faded echoes of my power in the form of a curse I do not recall casting… and it is coming from that cave…”

“The girl’s male companion you think?” Lante asked.

“Quite possibly,” The Goddess of the Hunt confirmed, “All signs point to him.”

He’s right through here,” the blonde said as she began to squeeze through the crack with the trio following closely behind.

Once they were inside Harmony didn’t see the cyclops but she heard his gruff voice ask, “Who’re these three Harms?”

Looking to her side, she found Xander was on his feet holding the… ‘Was she an elf?’ at knifepoint with a piece of sharp stone.

“Goddess,” Lante whined piteously. “Help?”

‘He got the jump on Lante? But she’s a level two elf with high G rank stats.’ Artemis thought surprised. “Easy now, we don’t want to hurt you, we’re here to help,” She couldn’t help but notice his hazel eye seemed to glow slightly in the luminescent moss light.

His sole eye seemed to flick to the girl that led them here, “Harmony, are they friendly?”

“Yes Alexander… you can let her go.”

The now named Alexander hummed in thought for a moment, “You could be mind controlled, magically compelled, or possessed.” He pointed out.

“Alexander Lavelle Harris, you will stop acting like a boorish uncultured fop and behave yourself this instant! Do you understand me?!” Harmony told him as she fixed him with a glare and stamped her foot into the ground.

The cyclopean carpenter dropped the piece of stone he was holding and pushed his hostage away, “Yeah you’re Harmony Kendall alright.”

“Of course I am, you boob, who did you think I was?” She said, giving a haughty sniff as she crossed her arms under her chest.

“I thought you might’ve been a zombie with all the blood covering your clothes at this point,” He pointed out, even as he wobbled on his own two feet.

“Sit down before you fall down, you great big lummox,” Harmony said, sitting him down against the wall. “Ah swear you’ll make me worry myself sick about you.”

While the two were arguing like an old married couple Artemis was looking over her child. “Lante are you alright? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

The elven huntress shook her head, “No Goddess, I’m just embarrassed he managed to get the drop on me.”

“It’s fine. Just use this as a reminder that no one, no matter how weak, should ever be underestimated.” Artemis then moved forward observing the boy as she did so. She could feel it, however weakly, her power wafted off of him in a malignant fashion. ‘Most definitely a curse of some kind, but when did I do this, and what did he do to provoke my ire?’ the lunar goddess couldn’t help but wonder to herself.

“Something on my face hun?”

She was drawn out of her thoughts by the male’s cheeky question. She hadn’t realized she’d been staring that intently. Clearing her throat, she replied, “Besides your eyepatch you mean? No, I just have questions for you Alexander. Several questions actually.”

“I’ve got some of my own, so how’s about a trade? You ask a question, I answer. I ask a question and you answer honestly.”

“Alright,” She agreed. “What are the two of you doing down in the dungeon in what look to be common clothes?”

Running a hand down his face, Xander replied, “That’s a long story, but the short version is, we got teleported down here by mistake. We were lucky Harmony had a dagger on her in all honesty.”

“A magic accident or was it something more malicious… either way, that’s terrible!” Artemis said. “Now it's your turn.”

Xander’s mind was working a mile a minute before he finally asked, “You’d be willing to see us back to the surface right? I’m in pretty bad shape and not sure how deep we are at the moment.”

Artemis nodded, “Of course. What Familia are you a part of?”

Xander and Harmony shared a look, “We aren’t a part of any familia, either one of us.”

Artemis hissed through her teeth, some Adventurer was going around teleporting non-adventurers into the Dungeon? She’d have to bring this up with the Guild. ‘They would also likely try to hold them both for questioning. I’ll do what I can for them though. They’ve been through enough already… and I wouldn’t want to be accused of this myself, what with my divinity in the form of a curse lingering on the boy.’ Having made up her mind, Artemis declared, “We’ll get you to the surface and fixed up,” He laid her hands on Xander and he felt his headache ease, and the swimming in his head abated. “There, that should hold you until we make it topside and we can get you a proper healing potion,”

The fact this would also wash away the remaining marks of her curse went unstated. 

“Thanks, I feel like I can move without wanting to vomit now.” He replied, feeling everything come into focus.

“He got the drop on me, with a concussion, and he doesn’t even have a falna? I don’t believe it…” Lante said, shaking her head in disbelief. 

“Yeah sorry about earlier, I’ve just learned through experience to be properly paranoid.” He apologized to the elf as he took to his feet.

Lante smiled at him, “It’s fine, like Lady Artemis said, I shouldn’t have underestimated you.”

“Artemis huh?” He said, glancing at the goddess.

He spoke with a familiar, almost regretful tone, “Yes? I suppose you’ve heard of me?” She asked, confused by his tone.

“Nothing pertinent to the current situation.” He responded. “Now let's get out of here before something tries to kill us.”

“If you’ve never been in the dungeon before then how do you know something will try to kill you? Rethusa asked.

“With my dumb luck? Something always tries to kill me, or eat me, or force me to father its demonic offspring… possibly all three.”

That earned him a look like he’d grown a second head. “You're kidding right?” Rethusa asked. Seeing the man’s severe shell-shocked look she continued, “You’re not kidding… Why would monsters want to… mate with you?”

Rubbing his lone good eye, Xander replied, “If you can figure that out and let me know I’d appreciate it.”

Artemis, the poor chaste thing, had the image of a minotaur doing… things to poor Xander. “We should probably leave quickly then if Alexander can somehow attract monsters. Stay close behind me and keep up, we’re heading to the surface double time.”

The group ascended the dungeon floors, but were met with no small amount of resistance. By the time they reached the entrance they’d killed Harpies, Mermaids, Sirens by the score. Monsters that shouldn’t even APPEAR on the first to tenth floors but sadly it seemed Xander had a bit of prophecy in his words because the monsters were mostly female and acted very much in “heat”. Poor Artemis was more frazzled at the constant lewd things the monsters did to attract Xander. It was unheard of!

“What are you some kind of living monster lure?” Lante asked by the time they reached the surface all of them were slightly winded.

Xander shrugged, his breathing ragged, “I dunno, this… this is new.”

“Excuse me, Artemis, but would you or someone in your retinue like to explain to me, just what is happening within the Dungeon?” An elderly but stern male voice asked. “We’ve been getting reports of numerous spawns and large amounts of monsters that shouldn’t even spawn on those floors.”

Glancing up, Artemis found herself face to face with Ouranos. The first god to descend unto the mortal realm, grant a falna, and founder of the Guild. He was also her Great-Grandfather.

Breath hitching in her throat for a moment, Artemis replied, “Ouranos, I… do not know what could be summoning so many unknown monsters. I do know however, that someone is teleporting civilians into the dungeon.” She pointed to Xander and Harmony. “These two can testify to that fact.”

His gaze shifting to the two mortals he asked, “Is this true?”

“Yes… sir.” Xander replied, “Didn’t get a good look at ‘em though.” Xander waved a hand in front of his eyepatch. “Got the jump on us, whoever they were.”

Ouranos grumbled to himself, “Most unfortunate I don’t suppose your female companion saw anything?”

“No sir, we’d just arrived in town ya see, seeking to join a Familia.”

“So whoever it is, is attacking new arrivals, people who wouldn’t be known or missed if they suddenly go missing.” Ouranos said to himself. “I see thank you for bringing this to my attention. You’ve been most helpful, you may go,” He paused before handing both Xander and Harmony a small bag containing some coins. “For the trauma you’ve experienced and the information you’ve provided to the Guild.”

“Uhh, is this a lot?” Xander asked, looking into the pouch.

“That’s like twenty-five thousand valis. It’s not a lot but it's not a little either. You could easily buy some starter adventure gear with that.” Lante told him. “But you’d probably like to find somewhere to stay for the night.”

“They’ll stay with us,” Artemis declared. “It’s the least we can do for them,”

Both Rethusa and Lante beamed at their Goddess, “Goddess is so kind and generous!” They said at the same time.

Artemis beamed at their praise. “Well then come on let’s get you two settled in for the night.”

Thus did Harmony Kendall and Alexander Lavelle Harris start their adventure in a new world. Fish out of proverbial water, very confused and grasping at straws for what in the world they’d just gotten themselves into.

(...)

The Artemis Familia home was a white marble building perpetually bathed in beams of moonlight after dusk. It looked like a Greecian Temple to Xander, which shouldn’t really be that much of a surprise considering who the Goddess was. They ascended marble steps and past white stone columns to the interior that was lit by flaming sconces. Harmony was shown into a room covered in animal pelts on both the floor and the bed. There was even a candle seeming magically burning in a holder, and the room was spacious enough for her.

“This will be your room for the night Harmony. If you’ll wait here a bit I’ll have Lante bring you some clothes to change into.” Artemis replied before turning to Xander and saying, “This way,”

Xander was led down the hall and to the left to what looked like a jail cell of all things. “You know, I’m getting the sense you don’t trust me, Artemis.”

“In my Familia Alexander one must be a maiden in order to join, while I am allowing you to stay with us for the night I am unwilling to let you roam around freely after hours for the safety of my children.”

Giving her a deadpan glare he replied flatly, “Wow, paint one half of the species as rapists, why don’t you? We’re not all scumbags I’ll have you know. Not like you’d ever find out with an attitude like that.”

Artemis flinched at his rebuke but stood firm. Shaking her head she replied, “You wouldn’t understand.”

“The River God Alpheus kidnapped you once and then there’s Actaeon who according to various accounts was either a devout follower turned stalker or a creepy pervert who saw you bathing one day. Either way, it ends with him trying to force himself on you. I’ll admit, you’ve had two very traumatic experiences… but it resulted in you thinking every single man is a potential rapist. We’re not, and I’m gonna prove it.” Without further ado he walked into the cell and pulled the door shut behind him. 

To say Artemis was impressed if not quite moved by his resolve went unsaid. Rather her ineffable belief that men could not be trusted, that love between the sexes was impossible for her, and not allowed between those in her Familia was shaken. “I… have a question,”

“Shoot, I’m already behind bars, Miranda Rights be damned.”

“Why is it that when we first met, I sensed the residual energy of a curse I cast on you, though we’ve never met before?”

That caused the young man to let out an embarrassed laugh. “Oh, I was wondering if you’d notice that or not… It's a rather embarrassing story from my younger years. If you’ve got time, can I tell you? Or it can wait till morning.”

“I’ve got all night,” Artemis assured him as she leaned against the opposing wall, comfortably folding her arms. “Do go on.”

Xander raised an eyebrow at that, “Don’t you have a moon to be pulling across the sky about now?”

Blinking in surprise she said, “I haven’t had to do that since descending to the Lower Realm, though you are well informed.”

“Right, well anyway, it goes something like this,” He then told her all about his first disastrous valentines day where his girlfriend at the time Cordelia Chase broke up with him, to get her back, he solicited an associate Amy Madision to cast a love spell. Whether intentionally or not, he never did find out, she invoked Diana the Roman equivalent of Artemis in the spell, causing it to go awry. The end result was every woman in Sunnydale except Cordelia falling madly in love with him. That is, until he could get it reversed.

“And you didn’t take advantage of this situation at all?” Artemis questioned, disbelief evident in her tone.

“There’s a woman back home, who, if she’d told me she loved me and been in her right mind back then, I’d have probably jumped to the moon,” He said wistfully before shaking his head and continuing, “But she wasn’t and I’m not the kind of guy to take advantage of a woman. So no, I kept as far away from all of them until the spell wore off. It was a lot harder than it sounds considering some of them had super strength.”

“It takes a lot of strength of character for someone to resist the primal urges of man. I do admit that I look down on love in general or more specifically Eros, Luds, and Mania. That is love that I have seen doom greater gods and lesser mortals to their doom. Love for a woman is dangerous and some such as my aunt Aphrodite have more than acquired the desires of men through her usage of “love”. This town could be considered the war zone of two love goddesses if I am honest. Ishtar and Freyja both have strong claims to this city however I do admit Freyja has the stronger claim after my father and…. Hera had left.”

“Someone killed Zeus? How? I mean that is a scary thought all things considered. However you mentioned Ouranos when we left the dungeon so I am a bit confused on the politics of this place.”

Artemis felt that Alexander may be from farther away than she thought if he didn’t know the current politics of Oraio. It seems she would have to educate both him and Harmony before they left her care tomorrow.

“I’ll fill you in over breakfast in the morning. Good night Alexander.”

“Night Artie.” He said flopping back down on his cot.

The moon goddess paused at the nickname but decided she didn’t mind it. “Ah before I forget, drink this,” She tossed a phial through the bars. “It’s a health potion that should take care of anything that ails you. All I did in the dungeon was negate the symptoms for a time. This will properly take care of it.”

“Thanks, to your health,” He said before pulling the cork off and downing the contents, it tasted fruity to him, but not unpleasant. He felt pleasantly warm after drinking it, like he’d just finished taking a bath or something. “Wow cool stuff.”

“They can be rather expensive but the Micha Familia does good work despite being a small Familia. So I have no regrets giving them my patronage” Artemis replied happily, “See you in the morning Alexander.”

“Night Artie.”

(...)

Xander’s eye snapped open and he hopped to his feet ready to fight the moment he heard the unfamiliar sound of a key turning in a lock. It took him a moment to remember where he was, and by the time he did, he found Artemis standing there, looking at him oddly.

“Are you alright Alexander?”

“Yeah, I’m… I’m good. You just surprised me is all,” He replied, clearly trying to play it off as nothing.

“Hmm,” The Goddess said clearly unconvinced, “I see, well then, come on it’s time for breakfast.”

Breakfast for the Artemis Familia consisted of eggs, sausage, various fruits, nuts, and milk. Xander had no complaints nor did Harmony, yet Aretmis explained, “As my Familia is based on hunting monsters, I train my huntresses to hunt and if necessary, process and use everything from a kill. We also own a small farm which is where you see everything on the table here.”

“Waste not want not,” Xandeer said respectfully.

“Thanks for sharing your bounty with us,”  Harmony replied.

The goddess smiled. “You're welcome. Now Alexander told me last night that neither of you know of the politics of Orario? So let me explain. The city was built over the Dungeon, and every Deity has a Familia or those they grant a Falna their blessing to, but the Guild which acts as a sort of government here, keeps the various Familias in check. Ouranos is the head of the Guild. As he was the first god to descend and grant a Falna to a mortal.”

“Right so Familia’s Guild, Dungeon. Got it. I’m assuming some Familia are pure craftsmen or people who provide other services?” Xander asked. Not everyone was cut out to be a warrior after all.

“Yes, primarily the Hephaestus and Gaibo, Familia’s who provide arms and armor. But there is also the Demeter Familia who is in charge of food production for the entire city, and others like the Dian Cecht and Micah Familia’s who specialize in potion creation.” Artemis replied, happy he could grasp the bigger picture so quickly.

“So what it boils down to is… we need to join a Familia,” Xander said as he laced his fingers behind his head and stared up at the ceiling in thought. “And I can’t join your Familia Artie because A. I’m a guy, and B. I’m not a virgin. If I did, people would obviously talk.”

“Yes, exactly,” She didn’t know how to bring this up without sounding callus, but Alexander had figured it out on his own. She found she was silently thankful for that.

“And,” Xander continued, “Since we just got here with basically the clothes off our backs, none of the big name Familia’s would be willing to take us on either. Meaning we’ll need to join a smaller familia or a newly descended deity and work our way up.” Shifting his head back down he looked at Harmony and said, “Well, I will at least. There’s really nothing stopping you from joining Artemis’ Familia Harms.”

“And leave you all by yourself and get into who know’s how much trouble the moment I turn my back on you for all of five minutes? Ah, think not sugga. You're stuck with me.” Harmony replied. “Besides I’m not exactly a snow white virgin mah’self.” She looked down and away when she said this. Normally she wouldn’t be embarrassed she was nearly two centuries old but Xander was the only lifeline she had to her old world, and  her old life. His opinion mattered.

“Not like I have room to talk either. He said with a bit of a laugh. “So Artie, you know any gods or goddesses’ who would be hiring two newbies?”

“As a matter of fact, I might just know someone, and if all goes well, you would have another goddess in your debt to boot.” She said with a conspiratorial smile

Xander leaned in, giving a hyena-like grin. “Tell me more.”

(...)

The Hephaestus Familia’s building was a giant iron works. The sound of hammers and innumerable chimneys that lead to who knows how many blast furnaces littered the top of the building and the entire structure seemed to exude a haze of heat, while a plume of smoke seemed to circle about the place. 

“Well, this can’t be good for the environment.” Xander commented offhandedly as they neared the front steps.

“Hephaestus has always been a bit over the top. You’ll have to be patient with her.” Artemis told the two.

‘Her? Hephaestus is a woman?’ Xander was surprised to learn that, but took it in stride. “Right got it, are you going to try and get her to take us in? I have experience in construction but I’m not sure it's what she’s looking for. I’ve never tried my hand at blacksmithing, but I wouldn’t mind it.”

Artemis shook her head, “No, I’ve got someone else in mind, though who knows, you might be a good fit for the Hephaestus Familia Alexander.”

“We’ll see.” He replied. “I wanna meet the person you have in mind first.” He replied as they walked through the double doors of the Familia’s home.

People were running to and fro carrying various supplies, while the sounds of hammers striking steel echo in unending thunderous aplomb. Artemis ignored all of this as she headed towards a room in the back with an intricately carved iron door. On its face were images of cyclops striking anvils as a lone figure forged works of art and war worthy of the Gods of Greece themselves. 

Artemis knocked on the door and received a gruff, “Yeah?” in response before entering.

The interior of the room was spartan having only a desk and couch off to the side. Both of which were occupied. Behind the desk sat an auburn-haired woman with an eyepatch over her left eye. She was wearing rough leathers like one would expect of a blacksmith. 

The other… Xander could only use the term short stack for her. She had long raven black hair, sky blue eyes and a white dress that showed off her curvaceous figure. It had a boob window for some reason and also had a blue string wrapping around it that was seemingly held up by her bosom.

“Artemis… What brings you by? You're not usually one to just drop in unannounced.” 

“Auntie Hephaestus Auntie Hestia I rescued two people from the Dungeon last night and much to my surprise they are both looking for a Familia to join. So I thought I could kill two birds with one stone and help Auntie Hestia get her Familia started, as well as put an end to this… situation.”

“What situation? Hephaestus doesn’t have a problem with me staying here, right Hephaestus? Right?” Hestia asked, looking between her niece and fellow goddess.

Coughing, Hephaesutus replied, “Well anyway, who are the two potential children you brought with you?”

Stepping aside, Artemis said, “Why don’t the two of you introduce yourselves?”

Harmony went first. “Harmony Kendall ma’am.”

Hestia sulked. “Don’t call me ma’am, it makes me feel old.”

“Sorry.” She apologized.

Xander went next, offering his best charming smile he introduced himself, “I’m Alexander Harris, but everyone just calls me Xander. In fact I prefer Xander if it's all the same to you Tia.”

Hestia found herself taken with the newcomers' easygoing attitude.  She also was besotted with the nickname. “Well Xander, it's true I am looking to start my Familia… of course we’ll need a base first and…”

“I’ve got that covered,” Hephaestus said a bit too quickly and conveniently. “There’s an old church you can use that has a tunnel which is connected to my Familia.”

Hestia beamed, “Oh I just knew I could count on you Hephaestus! And you too Artemis! Thank you both so much!”

‘Don’t thank me, I want you out of here, how in hades do you eat so much and not gain an ounce of weight?’ The goddess of the forge thought bitterly to herself. ‘Does it all go to your tits?’

“It’s no trouble Hestia, I’m just glad to help.” The Goddess of the Hunt replied.

“So… Now what? How do we get those Falna things?” Xander asked.

“Right, Hephaestus I’ll be heading to my room for a bit.” She motioned to her two soon-to-be children. “Follow me.”

As they walked she explained, “A falna is written on the recipient in a deity’s own ichor, so I’ll basically be tattooing you both with my own blood. The Falna will then draw out the power and history in your blood and soul via Status, converting that to excelia which I can manifest into tangible power via stats.”

“So video game mechanics. Ok I got this.” Xander said aloud.

“What’s that?” Hestia asked.

“Nothing,” He replied. “I just got the gist of how this works. We kill things to gain excelia and you use that to level us up? More or less?”

“Well to actually Rank Up you need to do something even the Gods will take note of,” the shortstack laughed a bit. “It’ll likely be awhile before that happens.”

They stopped at a door which Hestia opened and ushered them inside. The room wasn’t particularly lavish but it was still nice with a rather large bed, and furnishings placed around the room. There were also a lot of food wrappers on the floor causing Hesita to look embarrassed.

“Well, someones been loafing around huh?” Xander teased before he started cleaning up the mess.

“It’s… it's just everything down here is so new! I-I just got caught up trying everything all at once! Thank you for cleaning up, you didn’t have to do that,” Hestia said sheepishly.

Xander just shrugged. “It’s no trouble, cleaning up messes was basically my job back home.” He said that with a bit of bitterness Hestia noted.

“Yes well, if you’d just lay down on the bed and take your shirt off, I can proceed to give you your falna.” Hestia said.

“Right, you can watch if you want Harms. Just remember, watching is free, touching’ll cost you.” He teased the immortal blonde.

“I will somehow control myself darlin’” Harmony shot back playfully, batting her eyes at Xander. “Now you heard the lady strip.”

Xander did just that pulling his shirt off and revealing his muscular if scared frame. Harmony had to admit, she was impressed at just how built Harris was. ‘Truly, those ugly Hawaiian shirts don’t do him justice.’ She thought as she ogled his ripped back. Doing her best not to let her jaw drop when she saw his abs and pecs. Apparently monster hunting did the body good indeed.

While Harmony was covertly staring Hestia was overtly staring. ‘He… wow, muscles cute but… muscles?’ She honestly didn’t know what she liked more: his cute face, easygoing attitude, or muscular body.

“Ahem, if you two are done undressing me with your eyes, can we get this started?” Xander asked, amused.

“R-Right sorry!” Hestia said, embarrassed to be caught staring, “Just lay down on your stomach on the bed.”

“Right,” Xander did so, and waited. At first he felt nothing, then he felt something damp and warm press into his back, slowly tracing its way behind his shoulder blades making swerves, dips, curves, and curls, leading all the way down to the small of his back. 

“So, what’s this falna supposed to look like anyway?” Xander found himself asking.

“Mine is the symbol of the hearth, though each god or goddess has their own sigil, and should a person change familia the falna changes shape to reflect the change or so I’m told.” Hestia replied as she continued to draw her falna on her new child's back. ‘It’s so broad,’ Hestia thought to herself. As her finger traced over a scar she asked, “How did you get this?”

“That? Got slashed by a vampire's claws on patrol one night.”

“And this burn mark?” Hestia inquired, her finger resting on his left shoulder briefly.

“Got it escaping from a burning building. Some debris hit me in the shoulder. Stupid ritual, stupid Angel.” He grumbled.

“And this?” Hestia touched a scar just under his ribs. 

“Fucking mantis demon picked me up in its pincers… it wasn’t gentle,” Xander scoffed.

Hestia couldn’t help but note her new child already had a collage of scars on his body. Each one held a story of some fight with a monster. Yet he was a part of no Familia and held no Falna. ‘He’s like the heroes of old, fighting monsters, because he feels he must rather than at the behest of the Gods.’

At last his Falna was complete… and what Hestia saw, shocked her to her core.

Alexander Lavelle Harris Lv.4

Strength: G 340

Dexterity: G 330

Agility: F 400

Magic: H 200

Developmental Skills:

Twelve Misfortunes: (F) The twelve tragedies that have befallen this poor soul, but made him stronger for it. Rank determines the number of tradies listed and Ranking Up will reveal more of them.

• Love Unrequited: Grants increased charisma with those who have been unlucky in love. User becomes immune to charm, lust spells, or even basic honey pot tactics. 

• Wildman’s Spirit:  Increases the senses to inhuman levels comparable to a beastman. Allows the summoning of a familiar in the form of a hyena, be it singular or in a pack.

• Warrior’s Soul: Grants a massive bonus to both melee damage and defense. The user can suffer a Ristraid (warrior’s rage) and in battle he will keep fighting regardless the level of harm put into him until his foe is dead.

•  Beloved of the Scaley-kind: Scaly-kind humanoids (Dragons, Mermaids, Gorgons ect.) Find Xander more attractive. He can also hold his breath indefinitely. Xander’s skin is thicker and hardened for high pressure dives and allows him to shrug off small arms. Water spells heal him and he feels camaraderie with sea deities. Warning: Xander is considered a subtype of fish monster. 

•  Seeing Double: Let’s user split himself in two, but each is only half as strong as the original. These two halves are roles or personas that Xander has taken. The Scout, The Martyr, The Heart, The Hunter, The Warrior etc.

• Woman Scorned: Denotes the time the user seduced Anyanka the Goddess of Scorned Women, but left her at the altar. Those with Demonic attributes have a higher affinity with Xander, and he has a higher affinity with Demonic or Cursed weapons. Those of monstrous or evil blood find Xander captivating. Sadly he is also considered a delicacy.

• Saving the World with Hearts: Symbolizes the time the user saved the world with naught but the power of love. User is able to reach people delved too deep in fear, madness, or other forms of mental intoxication. Women who see enemies of men or other beings accept Xander for he is seen in a semi good light.

• Eye of Insight: User is famous for seeing the world from the bottom. It is extremely hard to lie to him, deceive him, illusions falter under his gaze and his understanding of “phenomena/ magic” increases. Sadly this skill permanently costs his eye. He cannot restore it, grow it back, or even take an artificial eye.

Blacksmith: (H): Enables the user to add special abilities to their creations.

Hunter: (E): Improves abilities against monsters that the user has fought before and gained excelia from.

Skills:

Avenger: (A): Heavily increases the user's attack power against monsters, massively increases the user's attack power against undead type monsters. Effect rises based on the user's hate.

Guardian Knight: (E): Xander gains benefits to his stats when protecting others. This can even make him more intimidating to people more powerful than himself.

Monster Musk: (B): Draws monsters to the user. Strength is determined by rank. The higher the rank the more likely it is to penetrate more floors of the dungeon and summon stronger foes. Twice as effective on monsters of the opposite sex.

Murphy’s Law: (SSS): You have been touched by the primordial god Khoas. Anything that can go wrong in your life likely will. But with greater risk comes great rewards. Monsters have increased spawn rates and are more powerful, but grant more Excelia, have increased drop rates for rarer materials, and have a chance of dropping an extra magic stone when harvested. Not limited to this dimension.

“So what does it say?” asked Xander as he felt the tickle of the falna inscribing itself on his back. When he got no response he got up and turned around to see Hestia teary eyed and sniffling.

“Yo-you-you …. WAAAAAAAH!” Hestia cried with tears running down her face in rivlets.

“What’s wrong, are you ok?” Xander asked, confused as to why she was suddenly crying.

Sniffling a little Hestia said, “You’ve been through so much!”

“Ah… you can see my memories or something huh?”

Hestia nodded, “Something like that,” She carried on, “I’m so sorry you had to go through all this hardship.”

“Bad shit happens to good people everyday,” Xander said with a callous shrug. “I just want to do what I can to stop people from dying. Especially the people I care about.”

Hestia smiled despite her disheveled appearance. “Protecting family is a sentiment I can both appreciate and get behind.” Taking a breath to calm herself as well as slapping both her cheeks, Hestia turned to Harmony and said, “Alright, your turn.”

“I’ll leave the room, call me back in when you're done.” Xander said, excusing himself.

After he was gone Harmony pouted, “You know, I wouldn’t have minded all too terribly if he’d stayed. It would’ve only been fair, you know? Seeing as we’ve already got to see him topless.”

“You're a tease Harmony Kendall,” Hestia noted as her cheeks flushed crimson. “Now, lay down please.”

Harmony Kendall Lv.3

Strength: H 200

Dexterity: G 300

Agility: F 450

Magic: E 555

Developmental Skills:

Quickening: (S): Allows one to rapidly gain attribute points, skills, and magic as long as a foe is beheaded. Slain foe must be of the same level or higher than the user to have any effect. Grants rapid regeneration to the user to all places except their own  neck and negates all status effects.

Swordsmanship: (C): Denotes one’s skill with the blade, the higher the rank the greater the skill.

Skills:

Mage: Improves power, widens effect range, and makes mind usage efficient. Creates a magic circle under the user that supports the magic. Grants the user a magic stat comparable to that of a person of the next level.

Quick Learner: User has an unexpectedly high rate of acquiring and developing skills.

Magic:

Keraunos Sýndesi: An odd spell that forms based on the user's will. A sort of divine miracle to control, manipulate, and absorb lightning or energy. Can be used to imbue weapons with the attribute of lightning.

Svalinn: Grants immunity to fire based attacks, always allows the user to be cool, and as a side effect it lessens hunger.

Manifest Destiny: A healing spell that helps cure light wounds, poison, disease and other ailments that the user or allies suffer. Spell is extra effective at curing hereditary, bloodborne, and internal diseases. Small Side Effect: The user will always find their way even if lost in a labyrinth.

“What the heck is with you two?!” Hestia said aloud after she’d finished reading Harmony’s Status.

“Ah’m guessing you saw something good, Hestia?” Harmony asked, looking over her shoulder at the goddess.

“Good is an understatement. The two of you together… with no Familia till now… we need to keep this quiet. If the other gods find out they’ll descend on you like… like…”

“Hens on chicken feed?” Harmony suggested helpfully.

Hestia nodded, “Yeah that! They’ll never leave you alone!”

From the other side of the door, Xander called, “Everything okay in there ladies?”

“We’ll be right out sugga!” Harmony called back, “Just wait until I make myself decent… or don’t it's all the same to me.”

“You’re terrible Harms,” Xander called back a chuckle in his tone.

To which the immortal called back, “Tit for tat sugga, I saw you topless so fair is fair.”

“Raincheck,” Xander called after a moment. “I don’t like doing such things around polite company.”

“Aww, what a gentleman,” Harmony cooed, “Gonna wine and dine me first before you take my top off? How sweet.”

“Are you clothed yet Harms?” Xander growled in annoyance.

“Just a sec darlin’.” Harmony replied as she put her bra and shirt back on. “All good.”

Poking his head in, Xander asked, “Okay, now what?”

Hestia answered, “Now we head off to the old church and get our base set up.”

“Cool. but before that, maybe you should ask Hephaestus if there’s anyway to hide this Falna status thing, so not just anyone can read it? Cause that could be bad right?”

The Goddess of the hearth nodded empathetically, “Good idea Xander! I’ll do that while I get directions to the church from her, and maybe some supplies. Wait right here, I’ll be right back.” She ran off.

“Well, looks like we’re in this for the long haul now huh Kendall?”

Sure seems that way Harris.” Harmony nodded.

Xander took a breath and held out a hand, “I’m willing to bury the hatchet, let bygones be bygones, and start fresh if you are. Alexander Harris, nice to meet you Harmony.

Giving him her hand, Harmony replied, “Harmony Kendall, charmed I’m sure Mr. Harris.”

Grinning he replied, “Call me Xander, Mr. Harris is my father.”

(...)

Word Count: 9,626   Number of pages: 30   Date Completed: 3/21/2024

(...)

AN: Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to this… thing I’ve written. I got tired of the whole Halloween fic thing so I did something different… and came up with something that took place post-tv series Buffy. I hope you all like it. More will come when the muse allows and I’m not preoccupied playing Dragon’s Dogma 2. Till then, here’s Snowy and Hassan to finish things up.

Snowy: I have to say this is a lovely chapter filled with passion, adventure and subterfuge. How did Xander end up in Orario? Whelp those are questions you will have to wait on. Just know Xander isn’t alone and he has a nice immortal and a sexy goddess on his side. Who knows what awaits Xander in the dungeon. All I can warn you is that things do not look as they seem there are greater mysteries afoot. Now watch Old Man not even pay attention while he responds to this.

Hassan:

Thanks again for reading! This has been an Inkblot Bros Production! Peace!