Dear Gretchen: What's the Point of D&D?

Dear Gretchen,

Given your penchant for generating D&D characters for people, I presume you have some affinity or affection for the game. What are your thoughts on D&D's surging popularity and the prevalence of streamed games/shows?

-Paul

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Thanks for your question, Paul!

I've been playing D&D for almost two decades now, beginning in early high school when I had to hide the books from my parents (they thought the game was Satanic) and didn't really understand how any of the math worked. Since then I've run five campaigns in a decade-long stretch, mostly with the same group of 7-8 of my close friends. We started playing together just after college and have only in the past year drifted to smaller, less frequent sessions. In many ways D&D cemented and defined our circle. It kept us tight-knit for far longer than other college social groups and eventually we gelled into a surrogate family. That, I think, is and always has been the central appeal of D&D. It's socialization with structure, a guaranteed way to see friends on a regular basis and a plausibly deniable excuse to be vulnerable with each other through acting. 

Podcasts and streaming can provide that same sensation at a remove, which I think is either equally or more appealing to some people. Maybe they want more D&D than they have time for, or they're afraid of socialization, or they enjoy listening to the different ways others play the game, or they're just looking to hear a good story shared by friends. Regardless I think it's primarily comfort media. It makes people feel good to see others sharing emotions and being silly together with some kind of loose narrative frame to keep things coherent. Personally, I despise it all. It's watching a group of people I don't know do something I love without me -- usually in a way I don't find particularly interesting or entertaining. I'm seldom impressed by the imaginations on display, the mechanics of D&D are tedious to listen to when they're not being worked out by people I love and am invested in, and . The stories you can tell with D&D are also messy, baggy, and linear by nature. They can be tremendously meaningful to me when I'm involved in them with people I love, but they typically leave me cold .

I think D&D is resurgent because we're socially isolated and we crave companionship and camaraderie. A guaranteed weekly dose of those things with a pre-planned and mediated activity is great for people who struggle to find time and structure for friendship, and even for those who don't it's a way to keep in touch with friends and to build emotional intimacy over time. You'd be surprised how much it opens you up to play-act with others. It's also a game in which the setting can be whatever you want, which is appealing to me at a time when there isn't much good sci-fi/fantasy film. I may not care for the podcasting, but I'm glad the game is still popular. It's one of the best ways I know to make friends.