Your First Time[M4F][Boyfriend RP][Kissing][Unsure][First Time][Gentle][Taking Things At Your Pace][Fingering][Missionary][Creampie][Aftercare][LoFi Background]

Oh goodness me.... this made me so freaking soft. This was so cute and sweet and just everything, perfect *chefs kiss*

Void

I live under a rock, plain and simple. There are movies that I haven't seen or heard of that I should have by now. There are some things I should have experienced by now *hint hint*. I feel terrible for my future partner dealing with my insecure scared ass. I do not see any affection between my parents, and it kills me. I think I've seen them kiss one time this month. I don't want that to be my relationship with my partner, I am very affectionate. I will smother my partner with all the kisses, hugs, and cuddles that they want. Now let's get to the topic of why we're really here. Sex is taboo in my current household. I am lucky enough to have the bare minimum knowledge of what the American Educational system gave me for Sex Ed. I feel terrible for my future partner cause I absolutely have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing! I have absolutely no experience in this field! I am terrified of sex and I shouldn't be! When it switches from romantic to sexual, my body kicks in fight or flight (mainly cause an ex assaulted me in my sleep. I told him from the beginning that I wasn't into sex and he claimed he was ok with it. Two months later after telling him no for many reasons he decides to touch me in my sleep. He ended up pissed at me cause I've been "holding out on him"). For you to come in and tell me that what I'm feeling is normal, blows my mind. You asking me if I'm sure, if I want to continue or if I want to stop. You wanting to make it special. As soon as I say that I'm a Virgin (@26), I'm expecting to be picked on for it (many ex's and even family have), so my brain's wanting to hide, wanting to run cause I feel ashamed for it (which in reality I either curl up into a ball or I'm looking to be dashing out the door). I've never truly had someone who didn't care about that. Hearing that I shouldn't be ashamed of it makes me want to start crying 😭. (Also seriously take me at your bar, but yes for a first time the bed please). What I want is for you to make love to me, with a bath and serious cuddles afterwards. Seriously, taking it step by step and telling me what you're doing (instead of just doing it) and asking me is this okay(😘👌top tier, best man ever!). I know I'm not made out of glass (for me to tell you later), but I love that you're treating me as if I am. Yes please get me out of my head (honestly think that's my biggest issues). I am going to be a big blushing mess cause I don't know how to communicate what I want so it more like a bunch of nods and shakes of the head with me having my beat red face hiding in your neck (Also without fail since I've moved up north, I've lost my voice once a year, mainly during winter, which makes me nervous about communication. This last year scared the shit out of me with my voice being gone for three weeks),(Yes I want to touch you it's getting the words to come out of my mouth). I'll immediately try to cover up any sounds I make cause I'm not used to making those sounds or those sounds wanting to be heard. Now for a bubble bath and some serious cuddles once everything is cleaned up!