Chapter 211: Business Plan for Everyone

Britney was still holding my arms, eyes wide like a kid about to enter Disneyland for the first time.

"I can’t believe it. My own cosmetics brand..." she whispered, then looked at me dead serious. "You’re not just playing, right?"

I leaned in with a smirk. "Brit, I’m putting millions into this. Do I look like I’m playing?"

She smiled, full diva mode. "Okay then. But I want it to be very, very good. Smells great, and high quality."

"Of course," I said. "Guy probably aligned with my vision, right? About strict quality control for everything."

"Yeah," she pouted, "he scolded me for having a bunch of cheap quality licensed products. He even showed me all your products — only good stuff."

Then she grinned. "Also... can I have creative control? Like, I don’t want someone telling me what scent represents me. I know what I like."

I raised an eyebrow. "We’ll make the final fragrance selection together. Firmenich and Givaudan already have some prototypes ready.

We just need to narrow down the ones that scream 'Britney.' Besides our specialists, you can ask for help from Cher and Regina — they have great taste."

"That we do!" Regina stepped in with Cher like two fashion wolves spotting a prime piece of meat.

"How did nobody think of this before?? Britney-branded cosmetics are so obvious — I would buy it, especially if the quality is top-notch," Regina added.

"And we can say this in general. Basically, no major celebrity has their own brand. Not even Madonna," Cher commented.

"That’s because none of them have a genius like daddy here," I said pompously, making all three of them roll their eyes.

"Anyway, the idea is to launch two product lines: one VIP, and one more accessible," I explained. "Both with quality comparable to MAC."

"MAC??" Carly approached. Freddie and Sam were chatting, not very interested in the topic.

Before I could answer, Cher jumped in. "It’s not that hard. There are many white-label companies that can do this — or something close to it."

I explained to Carly the concept, since she didn’t seem to understand "White-labels are companies without their own branding, but they handle production — even development. We’re using Intercos. Same as Estée Lauder, Dior, Chanel, Lancôme" 

"The truth is, most of the time, there’s little difference between a MAC and a good brand. A big part of the price difference is branding," said Cher.

"And Carly, you're in with the other three. My idea was to launch something for you as well — and later for Cher and Regina (if they do well)," I said.

Not every brand needs to aim for billions in revenue. Even $5 million in net annual profit would be more than enough to set Carly up for life. 

Cher and Regina will depend on whether they can replicate the success from my past life. I can also help with other projects (some hit series). 

"What??" All three exclaimed.

I placed my arm around Carly’s shoulders. "We can create a version aimed at teens. I already think we can sell it well — even if it’s not quite on Britney’s level. Products you girls normally use, nothing overly childish but not adult either."

"And you’ve got a charm, Carly, that the other three can’t match — the good girl charm."

She looked skeptical. "Are you sure?"

"I just need your okay. Leave the investment to me," I affirmed, then turned to the other two who had been outside the conversation. "And I’ve got plans for you too."

"I don’t want a cosmetics line," Sam replied, stone-faced.

"Not cosmetics. Other ideas. For you, Sam — a snack line: Sam’s Smack, with different flavors.

Stuff like: Sam’s Pickle Chips, Bacon-Maple Popcorn, Ultra-sour candies like 'Nuclear Lemon,' Color- or flavor-changing candy," I said.

"Wow, now we’re talking. I like the idea!" she said with a wicked smile.

"And for you, Freddie," I said, placing a hand on his shoulder as he stood up, "a different kind of camera — something that doesn’t exist yet. One with a wider image field. I even thought of the name: GoPro."

Freddie’s eyes widened.

I rubbed my hands together. "I’m going to squeeze every single penny out of you all."

"You two," I said, looking at Cher, Regina, "My future cash cows."

They gasped in shock.

"And you, Brit — my fat cash cow," I smirked.

She gasped even louder. Yeah, no one here really understands the concept of a cash cow (BCG Matrix)

Britney gave the signal: "Attack him!" — and all three jumped on me, followed by the other trio.

---

After the shenanigans, I was finishing up the review of the Jake's Groupie Fund:

Cher and Regina each invested $2.8 million.

Carly contributed $2.2 million, while Sam added $2.1 million. Freddie went a bit further with a $2.3 million investment.

Laura invested $550,000 and Tasha $350,000 (Tasha said she had received a signing bonus and Laura seems to be saving steadily). Britney put in $35 million.

Paige, after solving the Millennium Problem, received $1 million from Gordon Moore, which was added to the fund. The official prize was still under review, as the evaluators wanted to be 100% certain.

Monica put $10,000 (probably Chandler's money). Chandler himself contributed $55,000—possibly everything he had (I paid $255,000 for their wedding; maybe they just wanted to commit everything out of encouragement, not caring if I lost it all — they have no idea...besides, I want to convince them to do a bigger wedding)

Rachel invested $45,000 (yeah, I gave her some tips in the past. Also, she knew how to take advantage of that lunch with Ralph - got promoted). Finally, I, the fund manager, invested $50,790,000 — to complete $100 million of investments.

Summary: 

Cher - $2,800,000

Regina - $2,800,000

Carly - $2,200,000

Sam - $2,100,000

Freddie - $2,300,000

Laura - $550,000

Tasha - $550,000

Britney - $35,000,000

Paige - $1,000,000

Monica - $10,000

Chandler - $55,000

Rachel - $45,000

Me - $50,790,000

Total: $100,000,000

and the investments were: $25M in 10-year Treasury Notes, $10M in short-term Treasury Bills, $10M in Johnson & Johnson, $5M each in Procter & Gamble and PepsiCo, and $10M each in Newmont Mining, AutoZone, Ross Stores, Tractor Supply Company, and Cummins.

2002 was a bad year. I created a defensive portfolio with some okay stocks and very good ones (I will not optimize it to the maximum, but I will make sure it's the best fund, even beating the Medallion Fund).