Chapter 243: Oscar day

I woke up and went to have breakfast. When I got to the kitchen, only Joey and Michelle were there.

"Morning," I said, "where is everyone?" I asked, still half-asleep.

Joey waved at me since his mouth was full.

"They’re all already at the salon," Michelle replied.

Yeah, everyone came back to the house again, but this time for the Oscars. 

They actually arrived on Friday (Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey. Phoebe is still traveling, and Ross stayed sulking in NY since there were no more invitations for the Oscars)

"Really? It’s only 8 in the morning..." I said, a bit surprised.

"No, it is already 8 a.m. They started a while ago," Michelle corrected

"Huh," I grabbed some food and put it on my plate, "I’ll go say hi there."

---

I arrived at our beauty salon (which was built on an adjacent lot and connected to the main house) everyone was already sitting in some chairs.

"Morning everyone," I said.

Already in the chairs were Monica, Rachel, Mom, Scarlett, Carly, Paige, and Gloria. 

Cher, Regina, and Britney had already told us they would get ready at Cher’s house. Pepper would go at her own pace.

"Why are you even here, Paige?" I asked.

"Because I decided to join everyone, even if I’m not going to the ceremony," she replied with her eyes closed, since she had cucumber slices on them.

"Hey Scott," I whispered to one of the makeup artists, "do a clown makeup on that one," I pointed at Paige.

I got bonked.

"Be nice to Paige," Claire lightly scolded.

"Why? Her birthday already passed," I defended myself. "Did your maternal side kick in? I know that Paige has that stray cat aura, but she is already taken" 

"Mrs. Dunphy, another bonk on Jake, please," Paige said it casually, as if she were ordering fast food.

"And why are you here, Claire?" I looked at her

Gloria I didn’t need to ask, she liked going here to our salon with my mom. But Claire, I rarely saw her here.

Before Claire could answer, Gloria said with her always strong accent, "she wants to hear the gossip."

"Gloria!" Claire snapped at her.

"Where did you find all these women, Jake?" Kevyn, another makeup artist, chimed in. "These two are gorgeous," he gestured toward Monica and Rachel.

Kevyn Aucoin and Scott Barnes are two of the top makeup artists (Hollywood’s highest level)

"They are all so beautiful. Your 'aunts’, friends, those who treat you like a brother (Paige and Britney), even your bodyguard (Sarah)," Scarlett joined the conversation. 

"Did you choose them by their looks, Jake?" she looked at me suspiciously.

"Slander!" I protested. "My mom and my blood aunt are beautiful too, and there was no choice there."

"And if my uncle were to marry, she would certainly be beautiful as well."

For Uncle Charlie, looks would be one of the first motives... (not that I have much moral ground to say this. All the girls I’ve kissed are beautiful)

"Wow Chandler, you already joined them?" I saw him coming back with white paste on his face (probably some kind of moisturizing cream).

"What can I do?" He shrugged, not saying anything else.

Suddenly Monica laughed, making us all look at her.

"I was remembering years ago, when a colleague of Chandler’s almost set him up on a date with another guy," she said while laughing.

"Thank you, Monica," Chandler said dryly.

"Oh, when I first met you, I thought you just might be," Rachel commented, and a few more heads nodded

Chandler spread his arms, "Why?"

"Because you are smart and funny..." Monica explained.

"Jake is smart and funny, did you all ever think that about him?" Chandler asked, earning some laughter and a few "yeah, right."

"I don't know how you straight people thought Chandler was gay. My gaydar never went off at any moment," Scott joined the conversation.

"Really? Mine did a little," Kevyn pondered

"About Jake," Scarlett began, "for a brief moment I even thought he might be, but then he hit on me." She smirked, making everyone laugh.

"Hey! Scarlett says that, but she was totally giving me the signal while we were talking," I retorted.

I'm not Ted Mosby, I know how to read the signal and go for the kiss (he didn’t do it with Robin in the pilot. And man, it was Robin, she was gorgeous).

"Okay, I will not deny that" Scarlett laughed.

Right after that, Frédéric arrived with his team and introduced himself.

"Wow, Frédéric Fekkai is one of the most famous hairstylists in NY and Hollywood," Rachel whispered next to me, "you really have it all."

"Aunt Rach, in terms of looks, we are not going to lose to any of those so-called top tier celebrities," I affirmed.

I called for the very best in everything—clothing, makeup, and looks—and we are going in our best cars. 

In terms of money, maybe only Redstone (if he really goes) could compare to me at the Oscars. Spielberg and George Lucas are already way behind.

I received a message from Pepper:

'Someone leaked about Diddy parties. It will be in tomorrow’s news.'

"Huh, one down..." I murmured

As the Hip hop fans and the Grammys escalate, this could change everything (and it will be a whirlwind, depending on the names Diddy brings along).

"Why the thoughtful look, Jake?" Scarlett came up to me

"Something happened. It’s better to stick together today and not do much networking. One of the ugly parts of the music world is about to be revealed, and I’m not sure who exactly is involved in Hollywood," I said seriously to her

The case was still ongoing when I died, and besides, here there might be different culprits. So it’s better to be careful with whom we connect today.

"Hey, want to do a make out session before you put that pile of stuff on your face?" I changed the subject, lightening the mood.

Scarlett rolled her eyes, but discreetly pulled me into a small room in the corner