The hidden reality of social media…….

Social media has many benefits which do indeed bring value.  The ability to reconnect with long lost friends.  You can discover family you never knew you had.  You can make valued friends who share common interests.  Families who used to wait hours for news can now instantly be notified of wonderful events like a birth.

The above items are a small sample of the good side.

There are other things that are not so pleasant.  Examples include middle school and high school bullying of other young kids.  No longer confined to a small circle, now whole towns can get involved with making a child’s life a living hell.  Sometimes even bringing that life to an end.  There are also photos and videos which contain shocking acts of brutality.  Things the average human neither enjoys to see, nor would they ever participate in any of those acts.

The above items are a small sample of the bad side.

There is a dark side that many don’t even realize exists.  I see this side on my Facebook wall daily and I am left scratching my head trying to understand “why”.

The average day, my wall contains things related to politics, beliefs, and life events.  Ignore those, I expect those things because we all have values/views that are important to us.  I am referring to the posts that everyone is laughing about and I sit there thinking……”You are an asshole”.

Posts like a picture of a morbidly obese woman on the back of a motorcycle, a homeless guy who peed himself, even someone wearing clothes too small/big for their body.  I read through the comments……mostly intelligent ones like “omg lmmfao”, “LOL”, and “ROFL”.  How do I react?  I sit there in disgust.  Have we degraded so far as people that empathy has been erased from our hearts?  We talk “love and light” and then post things showing someone at their worst for a few cheap laughs?  We preach the love of Christ and post that stuff for the same cheap laughs?  What has happened to us that we cannot take one second before hitting “post” to put ourselves in that person’s  shoes?  Would it be so “omg lmao” if it were a picture of someone you love?  Would it be so “lol” if it were a friend who was mortified the picture was taken?  Would it be so “ROFL” if it were you?  Of course not, but who cares right?  Empathy is dead.

Let’s move onto gender issues.  Equality is the favorite catch phrase there.  It is all over the news and it is even “cool” to talk about it at work.  Make no mistake, once you get home you cannot wait to post your gender bashing stories to your wall to have your friends laughing.   Men post about women making sandwiches.  Women posting about men as though they are doormats.  Everyone getting such a great joy out of their hypocrisy.  I cannot imagine why kids seek out trashy boyfriends/girlfriends.  Why chase what doesn’t exist according to what they see on social media?  Decent men/women are a fantasy if we are to believe the gender “humor” posts.

There is so much irony I nearly forgot to mention.  The same people who post those “humor” posts are the same ones who join the parade of anti-bullying posts.   They proudly stand up for those who are bullied…….while posting things that are nothing more than bullying.  Mocking how someone looks, for laughs, is bullying.  Bashing gender, for laughs, is bullying.   It shows a lack of empathy in your own heart and it should be a wakeup call to you to look in the mirror.  What do I think w to hen you show one of your “humor” posts?   Simple……”They probably think that way about me”.   Whether you realize it, or not, what you post reveals what is truly in your heart……or in the case of empathy, is missing from your heart.

Which brings me back to the “why”.  We all claim we want peace, love, and happiness.  But, humans do things in direct opposite.  Are we naturally mean spirited?  Does hate secretly guide us?  Does it actually take effort to show love and empathy to others?  Is kindness a difficult choice?  Why is it so easy for us to laugh at another’s misfortune?  Why is it so easy to ridicule another?

My friend JD Shelton reminds me about a quote from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.  It is quite a simple message.  “Be excellent to one another”.  This requires a choice.  A choice to think twice about posting something that would be mean spirited just to get laughs.  A choice to not poison the next generations with false images of the opposite gender…..or their own.  A choice to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and exercise a little empathy.  All of that starts with you.  Do I think everyone will do it?  No.  Do I think you would be a better person for rediscovering empathy?  Yes

Consider one more thing.  Imagine you are a hurting soul.  One who, like me in 2011, is considering taking their own life.  You start thinking about which one of your friends you could confide in.  As you go down the list, you realize none of them could empathize with the pain you feel.  Each one of them finds what you are going through “funny” based upon their own actions on social media.  Even family.  Even people at church.  You realize quickly you have nobody to turn to because laughing at other people’s misfortunes is their hobby and you don’t want to give them more material to get laughs.

Why are there so many people hurting in this world?  Before you blame God, or other people, please look to yourself.  You unintentionally might be preventing your own loved ones from coming to you with their problems.  Is laughter, at the expense of the innocent, really worth the heartache in someone else’s life?  I leave that to you to answer.  I leave it to you to decide if you want to be excellent to others.  If you choose not to be excellent, that is ok.  I will still love you.  But, know this………The relationship will never reach the depths it could.  I refuse to be a victim of your “jokes”.

I want to help others to pause and get help before taking their own life.  That is why this harsher than normal post was made.  It was not to attack you, it was to help open your eyes to see another perspective.  To hopefully become that person a loved one can come to without fear of judgment or ridicule.  If you allow empathy into your life, you will see a richness you never noticed.  You will find it easier to love.  Natural to be genuine.  And, most importantly, it will help you on your own journey.  Become someone I could have turned to in 2011…….you never know who is literally standing on that ledge feeling all alone.

By Amats