SamSuka
modernrogue
modernrogue

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We need to poop. 💩

Sometimes we're playful, offering new stuff.  Sometimes we've got exciting and fun news.

This is neither of those times.

We desperately need your help in the next 72 hours.

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Hey guys. Brian here. Writing because we have a very serious problem and hopefully a very cool, very fun way for all of us to fix it.

So that 7 acres of land we just bought for the Modern Rogue World Headquarters? ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wDFamlC3qo ) Turns out, there's no septic system there. At all. You flush the toilet, and it discharges into a literal cesspool.

Apparently cesspools were acceptable in the 1960's. (Then again, so was racism. We've gotta do better than 1960's standards.)

And it gets scarier from there: putting a septic system in the new property is going to cost us $30,000 that we currently don't have. We desperately need a cash infusion to make the Modern Rogue World Headquarters safe for both our team and for future visitors (which we're hoping includes you).

So we're tackling this daunting problem exactly the way the Girl Scouts would: with a 72-hour fundraiser, featuring rad t-shirts you're going to love and the chance to literally throw your money into our sh*tter!

If you can't watch the video right now, here's our pitch:

For 72 hours, all of scamstuff.com is being replaced with nothing but Modern Rogue T-shirts. We've got 7 original designs, 7 alternate color variations, and 7 women's styles.

That's 21 flavors of Modern Rogue t-shirts, and 100% of all profits from this fundraiser goes directly into us getting a septic system and making this space safe. You'll be saving the day for us and looking good at the same time.

You've seen the first 3 originals before: Silverton, Vanguard, and Amendment 21.  

But you might not have known that we have 4 new designs that have only previously been available to our $30/month patrons. Meet Forerunner, Roll It Back, HB Robotman, and Roguish Characters.

These originals were for $30 patrons only, and even if you joined the $30 club yesterday there was no way for you to get more than your one shirt.

But for the next 72 hours, $30 patrons get access to all 7 original shirts and can buy as many backups as you like.

"But Brian! I'm not a $30 per month patron! And I want all these sweet new Modern Rogue designs!"

Don't worry. I got you covered. (Heh. Literally)

Introducing alternate colors for all 7 originals!

"Dangit!  I'm so close to chipping in and helping out.  If only you had women's styles instead of unisex..."

AHA! GOT YOU, LADIES! (and gentlemen who have ladies they'd like to buy a shirt for!)

That's 7 designs in 21 different color and style combinations.  All available now so you can be a rockstar and let the whole world know you became #1 in our hearts, by allowing us to go #2.

"Oh, man... $35 is a lot for a shirt."

It is. But remember that this is a fundraiser and we desperately need the cash. BUT: if you're value conscious, get this:

The shirts are $35 to the public, but all patrons (regardless of level) get the shirts for only $25 each. 

Just use the super secret discount code MRHQ143 during checkout on scamstuff.com for special patron-only t-shirt pricing.

That's right: as a patron, you can buy all 14 men's shirt variants, and save over $140 instantly. That's enough savings to fund us as a $5/month patron for over 2 years.

Man, our back is really up against the wall on this one, and you can make a huge difference here.

Forgive my coarse language, but I guess what I'm trying to say is:

"Are you enjoying this shit? Because we like this shit, and you can support this shit by helping us be able to take a shit. We need a septic system, and now's the time we're asking you to throw your money into our shitter. Either buy a shirt, become a patron, or save money by doing both right now."

I love you guys and I hope you're on board to keep the MRHQ dream alive,

—Brian

PS:  Oh, wait ... what's that? You'd like to contribute directly? Why, YES!  You can help us in our time of need by throwing some cash directly into our sh*tter here: scamstuff.com/products/donate 

We need to poop. 💩

Comments

Warning to any gentlewomen ordering the lady-shaped shirts, apparently the sizing runs hella small. Like... bitty. <a href="https://undergroundshirts.com/products/bella-the-favorite-tee" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://undergroundshirts.com/products/bella-the-favorite-tee</a> Thankee kindly, David at Scam Stuff for telling me the brand and style, otherwise I would have ordered two sizes too small, because "Large" in women's sizing is as exact as "thoughts a bee has on a Tuesday".

Okay so I bought two shirts, threw in a little extra. Though I expect you to contact Bill from Punished Props about doing an episode where you paint and upgrade your toilet into a Golden Roguish Thrown!

Sold. Good pitch. Hope you can take a crap soon!

I think the Girl Scouts might have gone the cookie route. But shirts are cool too.

Andrew Hackard

Oof. I wouldn't have thought it would be so expensive to take a crap. good luck guys


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