Progress Update and Apology [4/15/21]
Added 2021-04-16 00:14:19 +0000 UTCAs it stands, the new video is in its final phases. Ryan is only waiting on a few last pieces of instrumentation to add and mix, and Arc is actively working on the animations and graphic design. As I mentioned before, this is an extremely graphic design-heavy episode, and so he'll need a couple of weeks to get it done. I've let him know that he has full permission to interrupt whatever I'm doing during the work week to discuss his work and make certain that everything is looking solid.
Right now, I'm using this time to begin work on the DtRH after this one and catch up on other videos, including the long-overdue Q&As. Once the Q&A for the Austrian Wine Poisoning is posted, I'll finally collect questions for the Deep Blue episode. As for the next video, there was someone in particular whose help I was hoping to utilize, and he has been extremely responsive and receptive. His presence will expedite production significantly; I was hesitant to take on the topic without his help. After the release of the new video, I'll announce to all of you the topic of the video, since I'm expecting it to be in the region of 3 hours long; I think you all will understand why I say this when I reveal it.
But of course, there's been a bit of an elephant in the room, and while I've felt absolutely no pressure from any of my patrons or even from my wider viewerbase, I'm uncomfortable with how long my videos have taken to produce. There were six months between the Austrian Wine Poisoning episode and the Deep Blue episode, and when this video releases, it will constitute another six-month gap. While it's meaningful to me that people continue to support me through such long droughts, I'd still like to discuss why these droughts have happened.
The primary reason is a bit embarrassing, as it feels almost cliche at this point: burnout. For the first few years, my days consisted of rolling out of bed into my computer chair and working for a few hours before eating, then returning to continue work. Weekends didn't exist.
While this work ethic helped me launch my channel in the first place, and while I once believed that I could continue this indefinitely, I began to lose the ability to focus.
I believe that my breaking point came during the production of the TempleOS video; in order to gain a strong grasp of Terry A. Davis's streams, I began a campaign of watching all of them, skipping through them and trying to find important or interesting moments through the long stretches of silence. (This was how I discovered his quote about a bird looking at a monitor) However, my approach to this was unhealthy; this particular bit of research lasted for two weeks straight, where my days consisted of listening to Terry's schizophrenic ramblings hour after hour as my lucidity waned.
Since then, it's been difficult to focus, and production times have suffered as I've struggled to find a proper balance between work and relaxation. The final weeks of the Deep Blue video were particularly fraught; Ryan and Arc can tell you how I pushed them because of my embarrassment over the video's production time. Their tolerance is something that I cherish.
These issues were made much worse last year during the production of the Deep Blue video, when I experienced a rapid succession of traumatic events about which I'm still uncomfortable talking publicly.
Over the course of this new video's production, Ryan, Arc, Vex, and many of my other friends have helped me reach a place where I'm balancing my work in a much healthier manner. I'm taking weekends, working better hours, and my ability to focus is returning by degrees. I'm confident that I'll be able to work much more efficiently for this next video, but all I can promise is my best.
I'm humbled by your patience and support, even as I wrestle with my career. I love my job, especially what it's become, and you all continue to give me the opportunity to share such weird, strange, and complicated things with the world.
I'll see you all very soon.
Comments
I am perfectly happy with 2 DtRH videos per year as long as it means a healthy and well rested Frederik. As someone who works full time in animation burn out is real, and anyone who works in a creative industry will understand the delay. Keep up the good work, and mind yourself. X
2021-04-27 10:07:15 +0000 UTCMy grandfather told me when I was very young that it's more important to do things correctly than to do them quickly. He was a brilliant man and so are you, Fred. Thank you for your content. I even got on twitch specifically to watch your tea streams and I love making my own little ritual along with yours while I listen and putz with whatever I decide to keep my hands busy with that day. I look forward to your next video and I will patiently await you next one with no sense of urgency knowing that whatever it is you produce its going to be incredible.
2021-04-17 03:26:40 +0000 UTCI think every youtuber I actually enjoy watching often takes weeks if not months to upload videos. And I think most of us subbed to the patreon subscribe because we're glad to be able to support you, not because we feel like it's 'paying for more uploads'. please take your time and then some
2021-04-17 01:43:05 +0000 UTCMy thoughts, exactly. Some little extras here and there would be nice, as long as it's not an overburden.
Fostena
2021-04-17 00:18:44 +0000 UTCHey, I understand the pressure you are feeling but if you burn out there will be no more videos, so please take care of yourself. I am happy to be a supporter.
Fostena
2021-04-17 00:17:40 +0000 UTCTake your time!
2021-04-16 22:55:37 +0000 UTCI started donating after the Deep Blue video specifically because you take your time to make great content.
2021-04-16 11:36:43 +0000 UTCBurnout is a very real issue for alot of youtubers, not just you. So look after your mental health, get a therapist if needed. If you're worried about the droughts of content you could try doing more of the Warren's content in between releases of main videos as I imagine they need alot less work and your patrons would appreciate some little extras. You may find it helpful having a few small projects to keep your brain fresh between the big works, maybe not, up to you.
Pandacidal maniac
2021-04-16 07:55:36 +0000 UTCI completely agree with the comment from Viniter. Waiting for 6 months or thereabouts for a video that's often as lengthy as a feature film is not unreasonable, in my opinion. Of course everyone would like to videos released more frequently, that's always the case with any creator, but I don't think that should be the expectation nor priority. I've never made videos or these documentary style projects but I do have experience of these types of long-term projects. I spent three years doing my thesis. It's monotonous and often excruciating. Sometimes you get into the "zone" but more often than not you don't. However much you love your job, it's still a job, it's labor. You need to pace it and take care of yourself. If in the long run you're able to do your job more efficiently then great, if not then it's not a big deal. If that's the pace of your work then so be it. Just don't burn yourself out.
2021-04-16 07:45:31 +0000 UTCSorry, but I need to challange you on this. You keep talking about embarrassingly long gaps between videos, but that's bullshit. You're basically producing feature length movies at this point. You're still releasing them on YouTube, yes, but that doesn't mean you can expect yourself maintain release schedule of a vlogger. 6 months for writing, producing, animating and scoring a feature length animated documentary is VERY SHORT TIME. Also I think you'd do better if you didn't view the continued support of your patrons as naive or sentimental. I'm sure your viewers are intelligent enough to decide for themselves if the content you're providing is good value for money. You have a wonderfully supportive audience, but I don't think you're giving us enough credit if you think we don't understand how much work does into a 2 hour movie. I support a bunch of Patreon creators. Some of them release even less frequently than you. NONE of them gives nowhere near the level of insight into their process and progress the way you do. You're going way above and beyond of what is common or expected for a Patreon video producer. Both in terms of quality and amount of content, and in terms of release schedule and work ethic. I can't stress this enough: you're not taking too long. Not by any objective metric I know. Stop apologizing.
Viniter
2021-04-16 06:40:18 +0000 UTC
