A Clarification, An Apology And A Reassurance: Suede Of The Union 29/02/2024

No, I'm not cancelled yet! I just wanted to put this up before the paid vids just to get a few things out that have been weighing on my mind.

As you know, I put a poll forward about how I was planning to rearrange my schedule regarding my output. I was sure that I could really start to build up my base again if I focused on Youtube rather than Patreon, and the logic in my head was that if I built up my Youtube base, more people would come over here, which would then mean I'd get more income that would lead to a bigger budget which would lead to more of what you guys on Patreon would want, eg Journey and Autism content.

You were all really supportive and constructive in any criticism, but the experience, as well as finally doing another Watch Me Script, made me suddenly realise I was putting too much effort into the "maybe"s and not enough into the "definitely"s. If I focus on Youtube, *maybe* I'll get more viewers, *maybe* I'll get more patrons and *maybe* that will make me happy, but what got me to where I was before the Shopro nuke and subsequent depression wasn't chasing Youtube. It was focusing on the patrons.

I know from experience that if I do that I will *definitely* keep a positive environment, *definitely* retain the most important and loyal part of my fanbase and *definitely* keep myself grounded and prevent burnout and "survival mode".

That poll and putting together episode 201 helped remind me what was important after panicking for so long. I still want to try the "shotgun" approach starting next month (this month was another panic-inducing one so after Episode 201 it's just commentaries again), but instead of Youtube versions it's going to be new Journey episodes. I have a new approach that I think is going to work better with my Medication so let's see if that works. The idea is to get the paid videos done ASAP so that my survival fight-or-flight instinct doesn't kick in and freeze me up that way, hopefully, I'll be able to work on more of my other content (like autism and gaming) in a more relaxed environment.

Thank you all so much for helping me grow, let's try again once again and enjoy the episode and commentaries coming up!