My Pokémon Life as an Eldritch Abomination 3

Malie City felt like a slice of home. At least it did if I ignored all the Pokémon just hanging out or working alongside people.

The girls made for fun conversation also, but then a starving man would think anything a five-star meal. Rapp proved herself a follower through and through despite her spunky demeanor. And I was hot, sure, but the pinkette barely made a peep of protest even with my arm snaked around her waist, fingers lazily toying with the denim of her short shorts.

Flann was more aloof, as appropriate for the goth punk vibe she had going on. But I was nothing if not creative. I just had to find the right angle of attack. Maybe a bet?

We beelined for the milkshakes once we got to the arcade, and yeah, they were as good as Rapp said. A diet of just coconuts and fish got old quick.

They both stared at how I had practically inhaled it. “You build up an appetite kicking so much ass,” I said by way of answer.

“The boss is as stubborn as a rampaging Primeape,” Flann whispered conspiratorially. “He’ll come back like he said.”

“The boss is treating us to milkshakes right now,” Rapp scolded, her suck-up instincts not disappointing.

The pinkette had also lowered her bandana to have a go at the milkshake, and yeah, she was a cutie.

“That I am. Now, why don’t we hit the arcade.”

Some mindless fun never hurt anyone. I also broke maybe one or ten records. Totally on my own merits and not through being a cheating cheater, of course. Because that would be wrong…

Look, you have to show off some if you want to get the girl(s). And seeing as I was making out with Rapp by the pinball machines now, it had clearly worked.

It did leave Flann feeling like a third wheel, something I noticed with my extreme peripheral vision, but that was also part of my master plan, you see. The arcade wasn’t all that crowded this late either, so I wasn’t going to feel guilty for teasing the hem of Rapp’s shorts as I conquered her nervous tongue.

I could tell she was really trying to impress me, too.

Not wanting to overdo it, I pulled the panting pinkette over to Flann pretending to play at a machine while totally not watching us. Then I dragged them both over to something I was actually familiar with. Air hockey!

“How did you two end up in Team Skull?” I asked as I was up 5-0 against Flann. “Besides not being able to complete the silly island challenge.”

“To make some friends,” Rapp admitted easily. “Here we’re all troublemakers. You still get into fights sometimes, but only for things that are really your fault!”

“I get it. Competition keeps you on your toes, but you need a sense of camaraderie too.” I made a thoughtful sound. “Maybe Ditto and I can give you guys a few pointers. Team Skull Boot Camp we can call it.”

Rapp beamed at me, but it was Flann who seemed the most interested.

“Something stupid happened,” the goth punk girl grumped as she hit the puck angrily, trying to get past my guard. It might as well have been moving in slow motion. “By the time I got over it…”

She shook her head, her raven locks bouncing around. Then she took another molasses-slow shot, still determined to try.

“Everyone makes mistakes,” I soothed as I drove the puck into her side of the board mercilessly. “You just have to remember to get back up, and you did. Also, that’s 6-0.”

She sent me a pout as Rapp giggled. Time to make a move.

“Let’s spice things up. The two of you against me. If you win… yeah, why not, I’ll name you both lieutenants.”

Flann snorted. “Plumeria wouldn’t allow it.”

“Plumeria can challenge me for the crown then,” I countered with a cocky grin.

Rapp went to whisper in Flann’s ear, and soon they were both rocking some determination.

“You’re on.”

“Ah, ah. You never asked me what I wanted if I win,” I reminded them as Rapp snatched a pusher from another table. “Which is a kiss from two cute girls. One’s got bubblegum pink hair, the other black.”

That led to some furious whispers back-and-forth until they seemed to come to some kind of agreement. I could have listened in, but I had boundaries! Yes, despite wanting to bully my new henchmen (henchwomen?) into a threesome.

The game began, and it wasn’t very long until I destroyed their hopes and dreams. My being a Pokémon was kinda the ultimate cheat code.

They were both huffing and puffing by the end of it, staring at the scoreboard with disbelieving eyes.

Rapp was the first to speak. “You’re amazing, Boss.”

Flann groaned at her suck-up antics. “We just ate a plate of humble pie, Rapp. Don’t sound so happy.”

The pinkette ignored her to jump my bones again, but not before placing my hands on her hips herself. I couldn’t even tell if this was her sycophantic tendencies or just my new body being the definition of tall, dark and handsome.

Or maybe I just had a great personality. You never know…

Flann interrupted us, her pale cheeks very red now. “Move over, Rapp. A bet is a bet.”

I didn’t take it personally when she only pressed a kiss to my cheek. It was on me for leaving it ambiguous.

“You sure you’re happy with just that, Flann?” I teased.

Rapp’s equally pink eyes watching her friend had suddenly swiveled back on me. Probably because I just sneaked a hand into her shorts, copping a nice feel of something soft and sporty.

Flann had missed all of it. “What do you mean?”

“It was kind of hard to miss you staring at me earlier. Besides, Rapp doesn’t mind.”

The pinkette in question gave me a funny look as I quietly continued to paw at her other cheeks. Divide and conquer.

“It was because of that Ditto,” Flann insisted. But then she hardly stopped me when I caught her lips in a kiss, tasting some of the mint from her milkshake.

She still had her eyes closed when I retreated to kiss Rapp again. And then I kissed Flann again before she could complain.

It only ended when some bee’s knees motherfucker interrupted us.

Flann jumped back as red as a tomato while I gave the guy the stink eye. Guy musta studied at Buzzkill Academy.

I took Flann’s hand despite her embarrassment, and soon we left the arcade behind.

“Did you see the look he gave us?” Rapp asked mid-laugh, her bandana back on.

Flann gave her a weak glare. “I guess it was kind of funny.” Her eyes studiously avoided mine.

“We could head back…” I started, giving my chin a thoughtful rub, “or we could cause some more trouble, have a few stories to tell when we return.”

Rapp didn’t take long to come to a decision. “What are you thinking, Boss?”

“Trespassing is always a good bet.” My eyes caught on what looked like a police station. “Bingo.”

“That’s risky,” Flann said, but she was still a Team Skull member. A grudge against the world was kind of a requirement.

“I have an idea.” Taking their hands again, I led them to the building next to the station. Then I walked up the side of it some as they gawked. “It’s the shoes,” I bullshitted.

“It’s like something out of a spy drama, Boss!” a certain pinkette gushed.

I offered either arm for them to grab on, and I knew they were ride-or-die when they went for it with no hesitation. It was just a short walk up to the roof after.

We took in the view, Rapp’s arms still wrapped around one of mine.

“Hey, Boss?” My eyes turned to Flann on my other side. “You never told us your name.”

I almost said Dop, but that wouldn’t be smart with me trying to hide from the Aether Foundation. My real name got me some funny looks from Wicke so not it either.

“Oz.” Because I sure as shit wasn’t in Kansas anymore.

We moved to the roof of the station next, which had Rapp laughing as she stomped around. “I should have brought some paint.”

Flann took out a can of spray paint with a smug smile. “Slacking on the job, Rapp?”

I watched the two spray paint the roof with Team Skull’s skull. Might as well let them get it out, right?

I wondered how Ditto was holding up. Probably terrorizing the grunts as me for a laugh.

Rapp circled back my way to take the graffiti in. “What do you think, Boss?”

Hmm. “Good stuff.” They must have experience. “Now…” I gave her bandana a tug, revealing a nervous smile. “I believe we were in the middle of something?”

I wiggled my finger for Flann to join us, and soon we sat back against the railing in a pile of limbs, continuing our kissing games. I was kinda beginning to suspect they were both clueless virgins, just dutifully waiting for their turn rather than showing some initiative.

I could have pushed the issue, but I was fine just enjoying the charged intimacy. It made me feel human again, and maybe I was also enjoying being the one chased by girls than chasing.

Though it wasn’t Rapp that made a move first, but Flann, her nails tickling my belly. “Would you really have made us lieutenants if we won?”

“Yeah, sure. Though I’ll admit I’m not familiar with the hierarchy.”

Rapp snickered. “We don’t really have one. It’s always been the boss, Plumeria, then the rest of us.”

“Unless you made us lieutenants.” There was some ambition glinting in Flann’s ocean blue eyes. “You came here and challenged Guzma for a reason. Bring us in. Rapp’s not as much of a blabbermouth as she appears.”

I did have the vague idea to promote another Admin to distract Plumeria. Two might work even better.

“You two would have to step up. I wouldn’t want to be accused of favoritism after taking you out on a date. They might even think you earned it some other way,” I teased.

“Hey, we wouldn’t do it for something like that!” Rapp protested passionately. “If we did it’d because you’re a total hunk and—”

Flann sadly interrupted her glazing with a poke to the pinkette’s cheek. “Step up. We can do that.”

I scratched the tip of my nose thoughtfully. Maybe this was her master plan all along. Somehow that turned me on more than the makeout session.

Were pushy goth girls my Kryptonite?

“Just do something to stand out,” I commented. “Something suitably badass. Then I’ll swoop in.”

“Rapp, Team Skull Lieutenant! It’s about time!”

I was suddenly glomped again, leaving Flann rolling her eyes in the corner of my vision. When I escaped, I almost said something along the lines of sealing it with their virginities, but even being this hot, I doubted that would fly without me being a dick about it somehow.

It was easy to forget that we only just met today.

“I had a question for you two,” I said instead. “No issues kissing the same guy?”

“We’re basically sisters in crime and mayhem!” Rapp crowed. “Maybe we haven’t had the best luck with dating either. All the boys we know have a chip on their shoulder.”

I didn’t mention the chip on my own shoulder. Finding myself here and being treated like a literal lab rat, having to hide, having to lie like I breathed… it did get old after a while.

“Everything we do is already gonna be seen as bad,” Flann flippantly continued after Rapp. “This is just one more in a long list.”

Yeah, the boys weren’t the only ones with a chip on their shoulders.

“Then I guess we’re bad.” I drew Flann into another kiss, which she quickly turned more heated by trying and failing to wrestle my tongue into submission.

“My turn,” Rapp complained as I toyed with Flann’s jeans.

We only put a pause to our kissing games to watch the sunset from the roof. Then we decided to watch the stars for a time as well.

I again let things happen as they happened. Having two cute delinquents snuggling up on either side of me… yeah, that kinda thing mellowed you out completely. Food for the soul, you know?

That Rapp dropped her shorts and mooned me as we stood was just a nice surprise. Though she did get a swat from Flann for it.

Back on the ground, we went to find our bikes when I saw a vending machine waddling around on its own.

Rapp snickered at the sight. “A Rotom.”

The fuckers that possessed appliances. Right.

We were about to continue when it hit me. Ditto could do with some company, and I already had a transformation theme going that a Rotom would kind of fit.

“Hold on,” I told the girls. “That’s probably against the law. Sounds like a perfect recruit for Team Skull.”

The vending machine went still as I got near, but it was too late to hide now. I gave it a friendly smack. “Up to no good tonight?”

A pair of eyes popped up on it. “Rotom,” it buzzed innocently.

“You’re not pulling the wool over my eyes. But you’re in luck. You join up with me and you can mess around with all the shit you want.”

“Rotom. Rotom!”

“Don’t give me that shit. You don’t have a family to feed.”

“Rotom!”

I let some of the Ultra Beast show, and the Rotom got real quiet all of a sudden. What a blowhard.

“It’s straight to boot camp for you now.”

“Rotom…”

“Don’t be a big baby about it.” I had a lot of practice with Ditto picking up vocal cues.

The Rotom separated from the vending machine and hopped into a Poké Ball.

The girls were rocking some funny looks when I got back.

“Boss, that was awesome!” Rapp glazed.

“Without even a fight…” Flann muttered.

I resisted making a heroic pose. “You just need the right approach.”

Back in Po Town, I kissed the girls good night, watching as they left whispering up a storm. Today was nice.

It didn’t take me long to find Ditto lounging on the throne while pretending to be me. Also devouring a bowl of grapes. “No problems?”

“Ditto.” Nothing he couldn’t handle.

“We got a new partner-in-crime.” I let the Rotom out, who looked like someone stuck between two monsters.

“Ditto.” Yeah, Ditto caught on quick. Boot camp.

While the rest of Team Skull was snoozing, we got to work. And I wasn’t exactly happy with the result. I could tell Rotom was trying his darndest, but compared to how quickly Ditto improved, it was embarrassing.

“Ro… tom.” The ball of plasma with eyes fell to the ground, exhausted.

“Ditto!” Chin up.

“I’ll bring down a fridge so you can catch some Zs.” I had to be careful not to wake everyone in the run-down mansion, but that wasn’t too hard when I could probably bench press a tank for fun.

The next week or two as the new boss of Team Skull had me slapping down some challengers trying to follow my example. And between all the battles and boot camp, Rotom started to catch his stride. The gulf between Rotom and Ditto was still like a mountain, but the little guy was nothing if not determined to catch up.

I also may or may not have inspired Rotom with the  bright idea of taking over Alola’s electric grid. Or at least a good chunk of it.

Look, I was nominally a bad guy now. It’s what we do!

Otherwise things were going swell. I continued fooling around with Rapp and Flann, Lieutenants Rapp and Flann now, to Plumeria’s chagrin.

I knew she was still unhappy for my kicking Guzma out, but Po Town was becoming less of a shithole with Ditto and I leading by example. That at least won me a few points, if not enough even for a smile.

Yeah, that girl was going to be a tough nut to crack.

But back to my new lieutenants. Flann definitely took it more seriously, but Lieutenant Rapp was not a complete disaster. The pinkette actually put her hype woman skills to work on the others, giving them the words of encouragement a bunch of delinquents desperately needed.

Though maybe I should talk to her about toning down how much she glazed me. I was awesome, sure, but you can’t be too on the nose with that kind of thing.

Also, the curtains matched the drapes. Just keep it on the down low.

Then it happened. Plumeria mentioned she was bringing in some new blood. That new blood? Gladion. And with her rebellious son here, Lusamine couldn’t be that far behind.

Things were about to get interesting.