SamSuka
Paradosi
Paradosi

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The Next Story Tiebreaker

Despite it looking like ASoIaF had won, downloading the results showed a different story.

sus.jpg (408×416) (postimg.cc)

My running theories until Patreon gets back to me again is either some issue with multivote or Solomon having acquired phenomenal cosmic powers and is retroactively leaning on the vote. Out of the two the second is obviously the most likely.

Now, tiebreaker! HP is out of the running and will probably be back in the next such poll.

Here are the two blurbs/prompts/whatever again.

A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones

Solomon (not his legal name) was a stage magician in the good ol' U.S. of A., and while he wasn't the best in the business by any means, he made enough to get by. At least until someone shot him. Yeah, he wasn't expecting that one. Who would?

He didn't know what he was expecting after the end, if he was expecting anything at all, but he certainly wasn't expecting his afterlife—or perhaps his second life—to start in the shitpile of a city called King's Landing. And yeah, he read the books, but that was years ago. There weren't enough languages in this world and his last to explain how fucked he was.

But then he calmed down, and thought. This world, it had real magic. Not sleight of hand, not a trick of the eye, but real honest-to-God magic. Granted, the locals called it a sword without a hilt, but he didn't care. He would have it. He would take his second life with both hands, and he would have it all.

The Elder Scrolls/Skyrim

I knew how the fucking meme went. If you've been on internet at all, you've probably heard it at least once. Those five words.

"Hey, you. You're finally awake."

It had to be a dream, or a nightmare, or maybe I was tripping balls, but then the cold set in. The kind of cold that bites into your very bones because you're wearing fucking rags.

I just sat there listening to them talk for a moment. What else was I supposed to do? There's this giant of a woman staring at me strangely, looking like she just fell out of a Conan the Barbarian comicbook, but I'm still too busy losing my fucking mind.

I wasn't hit by Truck-kun, stabbed, electrocuted, or whatever way you usually get in this kind of situation. All I did was go to sleep. Lights out, lights on.

There's just one response that came to mind.

Fuck you, Todd. This is all your fault.

Comments

Break the chains around our necks

Armok

Why do you think I put the 69,420 wheels of cheese there?

Paradosi

Are you sure Lord Sheo won’t curse Solomon for the theft of his cheese?

Ioannes Parvus

Not to worry, I have reinforced the fourth wall with gum! Also 69,420 wheels of cheese! That is sure to stop his shenanigans.

Paradosi

I'm voting for Solomon just in case. Don't want to piss him off if he's that strong in the future.

Sinister


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