ALEXiThymia: Chapter 48: The Truth

Chapter 48

The Truth

Alexa was late, well not technically. She was late to her standards. Her standards of course being that she needed to be a minimum of fifteen minutes early to everything. This was why, when Alexa arrived at the meeting spot, a spot and time that she herself chose, she saw Gina. Once again, Gina had beat her to her own location.

This was two times in a row she had been late to meet with Gina. Well not in a row, as there was the time when she met Gina and Julie and she had been fifteen minutes early to that meeting as well. Though, now that she thought about it, Gina was the first one to that meeting as well, it was Julie who was last to show up. Julie for her part only showed up five minutes early, but that was still enough time to let Alexa be packed up and ready to go out on their outing.

As it was, Alexa was only twelve minutes early. She had to check, then recheck, then compare her reserve stashes of crystals. She had enough for one of each type of crystal, twice. Though she did notice there was an oddity with the older ones she had. The older ones appeared to be somewhat dull, in comparison to the new sample she got from this portal on campus.

That discovery caused quite a few questions to form. First could crystals lose their energy? To her understanding, the universal answer was no. There were tests done on crystals to test this very process. During those tests, no crystals lost their energy. Of course, no crystals seemed to fade over time either.

With the new variables, Alexa wondered if the old crystals would be good enough for her demonstration. Today, she was going to do it, she was going to reveal herself warts and all to Gina. Then let Gina decide if she still wanted to be friends with a crystal fiend who was also a battle junkie.

Of course, this ultimately led her to the reason for why she is late. Well late for Alexa.

Originally, she decided that the older crystals would need to be used due to the fear that they would one day lose their full potency. She took one just to be sure and found that it still gave the same +1 to her attributes, but then she wondered if the weak crystals would cause her to be less.

Ultimately, she decided to take both of her reserves, using the new ones to demonstrate who she really was. Then the old ones, to make sure used them before the energy drained away, if such a thing was possible. She wondered if her class had something to do with the fading, but that was too much for her.

Her plans for tonight were something along the lines of:

1) Use all eleven remaining crystals for eleven minutes of normality.

2) Enter the dungeon with the pass Mr. Mackie gave her and restock up on her stash, tonight.

Mr. Mackie true to his word gave her another pass today, that was why she had been late to the healer’s hut. Or again not really late but been the last to show up there as well.

Of course, now she was just wasting time, trying to find a way to talk to Gina who was nervously swaying back and forth in a sort of one-person mini waltz.

“Hello. Sorry I am late.” Alexa said, looking at her watch it was now 7:50, only ten minutes early.

Gina jumped.

Then she turned around to face Alexa, as she reached up for her heart. “You need to wear a bell.”

“A cow bell or a cat bell?” Alexa asked.

At that Gina smiled brightly, “cow bell. Definitely a cow bell. You can never have enough cow bell.”

Alexa looked at Gina strangely. On the surface Alexa knew that Gina was making a reference to something, but for the life of her, Alexa didn’t know what to. Seeing the confusion, Gina jumped in to try to salvage her comment.

“Oh I wasn’t calling you a cow. It was reference to the skit about the song. Blue Oyster… something.” Gina said a note of panic filling her words as she sort of jumped at trying to defend her comment.

“It’s okay.” Alexa said, holding out her hand to calm the jittery girl.

“Right.”

There was an awkward pause.

Alexa gave a quick look around and found that this was likely the perfect place to make her confession. They were just far enough away from the dungeon guard shack that no one would be able to overhear or see what they were talking about.

“You might want to sit down for this.” Alexa said, as she dropped to the ground.

Clatter-clink.

The sound of crystals rolling against each other could be heard as she sat down.

“What was that?” Gina found herself asking. As she lowered herself to her knees. Gina had decided to wear a skirt for this occasion and had not expected that part of her encounter would be with her sitting on the cold grass.

Taking a deep breath, Alexa unzipped her backpack and poured out eleven crystals. Six glowed brightly, while five seemed to glow at a subdued pace.

Since it was dark out, the differences in ambient levels of light were easily seen. Alexa just shook her head, there were tests she might need to do personally, but that was to be for a different night.

“These are my dire secret.” Alexa said, as she gently brushed her fingers across the crystals, lining them up in a neat row. “This is why I try so hard, why I study, why I work out. Why I get up in the morning. Most importantly, this is why I constantly go into dungeons.”

Gina looked at Alexa, only to find that Alexa wasn’t looking up, she wasn’t making eye contact. It was clear that what she was stating right now was very personal for her.

At that, Gina decided to rock back and rest on her bottom. A reaction she almost instantly regretted. “Oh, that’s cold.” Gina said, as she picked herself up, then slowly lowered herself back down onto the freezing grass.

Finally, once she was settled, Alexa made eye contact once more.

“This is something I haven’t even told my parents, or my brother. This is my one true shame.” Alexa said, as she held out a trembling hand to grab a crystal.

“What is? The fact that you are afraid of crystals? Don’t be, those things hurt!” Gina said, leaning forward consolingly.

Alexa just shook her head.

“They don’t hurt me. In fact…” Alexa said, as she began the process of absorbing the crystal.

Munch.

There was a slightly melting sound as the crystal began to dissolve into Alexa’s hand. Then there was the glow, as a tingling sensation worked its way up her arm. Then to her heart, and finally up to her brain where a gentle smile began to form on Alexa’s lips.

Alexa for her part just smiled, as she let the crystalline energy fill her body.

Here she was exposed, her secret revealed in an open field on campus. Something that would normally frighten her when she was in this state. This state where her emotions all came back and flooded her mind.

But in this moment, she didn’t care.

In this moment, she felt so free.

Alexa closed her eyes, as she just wanted to feel the joy of the moment. The warmth of emotion, the way her mind felt truly alive.

A tear came to her eye. A tear she desperately fought to keep from spilling. So, she clamped her eyes shut as she spoke about her experience. Like the junkie she was.

“This is the only time I can feel alive. This is the only time; I can experience true emotions. Not just the muted form of reality that I constantly find myself surrounded by. This is the only time I can truly be me.” Alexa said.

Silence.

Alexa didn’t even try to open her eyes, not wanting to see the way Gina looked at her. Honestly, she didn’t know how the girl would react, but she felt she needed to tell someone. Also in her logical mind, Gina was the perfect one to tell.

If she was disgusted by this confession, then she could cut her off. Another failed friend who couldn’t understand her. She couldn’t tell her parents, or her brother, at least not yet. They couldn’t be cut off from her life if they disagreed.

Then just before her minute of normality ended, she felt something warm against her arm.

Alexa opened her eyes, releasing the tear she had been holding back. The tear that now rolled down her face and almost froze instantly in the crisp fall air.

Alexa looked to see that in her time looking away, Gina had leaned forward and was now resting her hand on Alexa’s arm to comfort her.

Their eyes met, and suddenly Alexa felt very vulnerable. She was still under the influence of the crystal, even if it was already fading from her system.

“F-ing Christ girl. Was that it? I thought you were going to confess to a murder or something.” Gina said, grabbing hold of her chest with her free hand, in what had to be an unconscious gesture at this point.

“You mean, you don’t find this…” Alexa trailed off as the last traces of energy faded from her body, causing her to go back to her natural state. “You don’t find me disgusting?” Alexa asked the last part in her emotionless tone.

“No. Gods no. Have you seen your smile? That is freakin’ gorgeous.” Gina said.

With that Alexa reached out a slightly trembling hand towards the next crystal.

“You sure it doesn’t hurt?” Gina asked, clearly noticing the trembling hand.

Alexa shook her head.

“No.” The cold word, as Alexa cracked open another crystal and once again let the energy fuse into her body.

As always, a gentle smile formed as the energy filled her.

Alexa opened her eyes, to see that Gina was staring up at her in wide eyed amazement. A smile cresting on the jittery girl’s lips as she looked at Alexa.

“What?” Alexa asked, a reciprocal smile forming on her own lips. Seeing the relaxed state of her friend, Alexa let out a deep sigh.

“You.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, just when I think I’ve found out so much about you. That’s when you go and show that there is so much more.” Gina said, as she wrapped her arms around Alexa’s arm.

“Thank you.” Alexa said, obvious tension fading from her back and shoulders.

“No, thank you. I, well I am not going to say I understand. I could never understand what it would be like to be you but know I don’t think it’s wrong to want to feel.” Gina said. It was clear that she wanted to say more, but she stopped herself.

“This is my favorite pastime. Go on a long dungeon run, collect reward crystals, then eat them all like a fat kid at an all you can eat candy buffet.” Alexa said, reaching down and picking up the next crystal.

The two spent the next few minutes like that.

“You don’t have to hold my arm. I do feel accepted.” Alexa said.

“But I’m cold.” Gina said, wiggling closer to Alexa’s arm.

Alexa for her part just smiled at the jittery girl’s antics.

“You know, I can say this now, but I think you’re pretty amazing as well.” Alexa said.

“You do?”

Alexa nodded. “Yeah, you are strong, independent. I don’t know what is going on with your personal life, but I take it your parents still haven’t accepted that you are better. Yet, despite that you still manage to be amazing. It is pretty cool, and I’m glad I got to be a part of it.” Alexa said.

Silence.

“Last one.” Alexa said, holding up the last crystal. “Here is your last chance to ask me anything you want. To see how I truly feel about anything.”

Munch.

Gina looked like she was about to ask something, but then just shook her head. “No, you are honest, all the time. I don’t need to ambush you here. Though I do ask that we do this again sometime. I like this side of you.”

“The real me?”

Gina shook her head. “No, don’t you dare say that. You are always you. You are always real. Just at this time you get to experience the real you, the way we all do. But never shortchange who you are, and what you mean, to me.” Gina said, a slight tear forming in her eyes.

Alexa smiled brightly at that and felt truly warm. If only for a few seconds, before the energy faded.

Even after the energy faded, they both just sat there.

Gina looked down to see that all eleven crystals that they had started the night with were now gone.

“So that was it, the remainder of your stash?” Gina asked.

Alexa nodded.

“Well, you should go and get more.” Gina said, as she jumped to her feet and off the cold grass.

Alexa for her part grabbed her backpack and stood up as well. Then once she was fully standing, Alexa looked down at the jittery girl and locked eyes with her.

“Thank you.”

“No, thank you.” Gina said with a slight pause, before continuing. “So, we are still friends right?”

Alexa let out a fake smile, but one that didn’t seem quite so forced.

“Yes, I would like that.”

“Well then me too.” Gina said, bouncing slightly in excitement.

An awkward pause.

“Well go on, get more so we can have another date, just like this one.” Gina said, gesturing towards the dungeon entrance that they were now shaded behind.

Alexa nodded.

Then, just as it had begun the two separated. Well Alexa made her way to the dungeon entrance, while Gina just swayed slightly in place.

Alexa gave one last glance just before she left and gave a wave. A small gesture with her hand, but Gina waved her hand wildly in response.

Then with that, Alexa moved to pass the guard station, where she left Gina’s sight entirely.

Only once she was fully out of sight did Gina finally let out her full emotions.

The energy began with her toes that began to tap and stomp. From there the energy went up her entire body as she began to rock and swing wildly.

“Oh my gods, oh my gods, oh my gods. That was AWESOME!” Gina said, as a smile formed on her lips and a tear formed in her eye. “She smiled. She smiled at ME! Oh yeah, oh yeah!” Gina said, as she began dancing in place.

While Gina was celebrating the moment she just shared with Alexa. Alexa too was experiencing her own personal version of joy, as she received a new message once she entered the school’s dungeon on Red difficulty.

Now beginning Stage III of the Trials of Ascension.