ALEXiThymiA: Chapter 10: Lies We Tell Ourselves

Chapter 10

Lies We Tell Ourselves

Hormones, if Alexa didn’t know any better, she would swear that she was having hormonal issues. In fact she had to use that very response to her mother over the weekend.

“Is that blood I smell?” Judy, her mom, asked.

“Yes, it is that time of the month.” Alexa responded, in her cold mechanical tone. Though her mind was racing, trying to hide the wound on her arm. Likely the spot where the blood was coming from.

“Oh, all right. Let me know if you need anything.”

“I do, Gatorade, bananas, and protein bars.”

“No, I meant for… well never mind. I should have known better than to ask.” Judy said, it was of course subterfuge. Alexa knew exactly what she meant, but she couldn’t exactly come out and state that she needed wrapping gauze rather than tampons for her time of the month, now could she. Instead, she just used her perceived aloof persona to dictate how the conversation would go. She banked on her mother getting embarrassed before she would, and she was right.

That of course had been her Sunday.

Alexa was slightly afraid that she would have to explain a random injury to her coach and classmates, but by Monday morning there was a miracle. The wound on her arm had completely healed. In fact there was almost no sign of the wound at all, save for a faint silverly light that shone if she twisted her arm just right.

The healing was concerning, and should have been her first warning sign that something was off. But she chalked it up to being less of a slash, and more of a scratch than she originally thought.

She also to this point had no reason to doubt her sanity, that is until she saw him. She wanted him. Well not wanted, wanted, but she did want him to go with her again. To see if he in fact could cause more psychic crystals to form in the death trap rooms.

Even the thought of being able to feel alive again, sent a slight echo of want through her soul.

She had been off since the fight, well since the whole experience. She remembered staring down the much larger, and by all measurable standards, the fiercest of killers. She remembered this, but there was a primal glee that she felt while facing down fear itself.

For those few moments, when she had emotions, she should have been swallowed up by them. But instead, she felt empowered by them. They made her feel strong, alive.

It was almost like all her life something had been asleep insider her. Something that had awoken at that moment. Something that she still felt hollow echoes of even now.

Now the only problem was she had acted out, drawn attention to her, and not in her normal way. She had been aggressive. “What the heck was that.” She muttered to herself. Muttering was also new. It was almost like she still couldn’t feel her emotions, but the impulse control part, the part she worked so hard to master was suddenly gone. She had struck a locker, and even went so far as to leave a fist sized indentation in that locker. What was wrong with her?

Sadly, she didn’t even feel like she wanted to be with John. In a way, she thought she should feel sleezy by her actions alone. She didn’t want him, nor to be with him. Her memories after, of her time in a state where she could feel her emotions made that much abundantly clear to her. She had no attraction to him, other than his ability to possibly generate psychic crystals. Everything else was just gross.

In fact, during her two and a half hour long meditation on Saturday night, she wondered if she even liked boys at all. As thinking about them did nothing for her. Not that women did anything for her either, at least not that she could recall. Though she might never know, as knowing, truly knowing would require her to be under the influence of her own emotions while in public. At the moment, given her lack of personal control while fighting the werewolf, she highly doubted her ability to be rational while under the influence of normal emotional states. At least, not until she had more practice controlling her emotions.

That of course led her back to square one with John, as he was a conduit to her getting practice with emotions.

“Hey, what happened with you and Johnny?” Luke asked, coming around the corner as quickly as possible.

A quick glance showed that he was nervous for her, but was it the right kind of nervous or not? That she didn’t really know.

“Nothing. I asked if he would go on another dungeon run, and he said no.” Alexa answered.

“That’s it? You don’t care?” He asked, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye like he could catch me lying somehow that way.

“That’s it. Not much I can care about.” Alexa answered.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Luke asked.

Alexa just glared at him like he was a particular kind of stupid, “we just did.”

Luke shook his head, “look, I know. But do you need to explain why him?”

Alexa thought about it, then answered the only way she knew how, truthfully. “No.”

Luke looked like he was going to protest some more, as if he was finally going to solve a problem that had been plaguing him for all his life, when the announcements came on.

“Everyone, please assemble to the gymnasium for an emergency meeting.” The voice of Assistant Principal Miller said. “I repeat, all students please proceed to the…”

Seeing the invitation for the out that it was, Alexa began heading in the direction of the Gymnasium.

“Wait, don’t you want to…” Luke began, but was caught off by the way dozens of other students were all gathered around. The other students of course were oblivious to the exchange a second ago, but all stopped to stare at the power twins who happened to be stopped in the middle of the hallway in what looked like an obvious fight.

Seeing that there was no real way to win this conversation, Luke closed his mouth and nodded in submission to Alexa. With that Alexa continued her way forward to the gymnasium, where she was able to get her spot at the back of the bleachers so she could take in the entire student body.

As this was a meeting that would apparently involve all grades, multiple teachers were out directing the different grades to sit in their assigned areas.

As a Sophomore, Alexa had the honor of sitting at the back right corner, the corner furthest away from the main exits to the school proper.

Alexa was half expecting a lecture on destruction of school property, or maybe an impromptu meeting about supporting after school clubs. In this case the emphasis would likely be on clubs that only offered friendship and comradery as a reward, neither of which Alexa felt particularly interested in receiving.

Her enhanced Perception helped her to easily identify when John, her former DC from Saturday appeared, surrounded by a gaggle of women.

Grr.

There was a  growl from within her mind, but it wasn’t her emotions, not truly.

“What is this?” She thought to herself, as she tried to dissect where and how these foreign thoughts and emotions came to be within her own mind.

Hiss.

The voice hissed. It actually hissed at her, in her own mind. “Oh, Hell no!” She thought to herself, as she focused on that foreign entity within her own mind and squeezed hard.

A vice like fist clenched tightly around the entity, before she felt the form burst, the same way a gel stress ball would burst if squeezed too tightly.

There was a faint death-hiss and a pop, then the entity was gone.

Relief.

Despite her not being aware of the entity, there was a small hole where the entity had apparently taken up refuge within her mind. How long it had been there? How it got there? And why it was there were all questions she still had. But for the moment, the minor pressure she had felt in her mind was gone.

“What was that?” Luke asked, suddenly pulling Alexa out of her own personal intrigue.

“What was what?” Alexa asked, confusion in her voice.

“You just made this face, then your eyes glowed yellow for a second. Then it was all gone.” Luke answered.

“What? What are you…” Alexa began, but she could see the nervous glances many of her fellow classmates were giving her. All were looking at her through their peripheral gazes, but none would look directly at her. Had she done something weird? Had she made a face when she noticed that foreign entity within her mind? Had it not been a part of her imagination? If it was part of her imagination, when did she get one, and where could she return it? The thing seemed crazy.

Then before she could get too far, she saw a system notification in the bottom right corner of her eye.

Hidden Class Conditions met.

Hidden Class Unlocked: Absorber [Legendary]. Would you like to have class Absorber set to be your default class when awakened?

NOTE: Choosing to set Absorber as your default class now will allow you to assign all experience gained between now and your true awakening to your class, as if you were that class the whole time.

Class: Absorber: For every apex predator, there exists a bacterium who can take them down like they were nothing. With this class you can be the bacteria this world so desperately needs. Your primary power will be to absorb the power and energy from your opponent, whittling them down until you finally exert your dominance and eradicate their life from all eternity. Primary Attribute: Willpower. Secondary Attribute: Perception.

Passive Class Perk: Identify Energy Types.

Active Available Class Perks: None.

The class description left a bit much to be desired, but it did seem to resonate with her. With that part of her very soul that seemed to have awoken during her battle with the werewolf on Saturday. The class also seemed to resonate with the way she took care of that pestering voice within her mind.

There was also the fact that she would seemingly gain a passive ability, just by slating the class. In a way this was a win-win for her. She would have at the very least a Legendary class that she would gain upon her Awakening, with an active Passive Class Perk. Then if she found something better, she could change out the class. In this way the only real draw back from switching would be the missing experience, experience that she wouldn’t even have access to in the new class anyways.

Seeing no downside to this transaction at all, she went ahead and slated Absorber to be her default class when she awakened.

This was a big day, one that most would likely spend celebrating. She had gained a class, a 100% guaranteed shot at becoming an awakened. The only problem was, she felt hollow inside.

She turned to her brother and thought about telling him, but then stopped herself. She knew her brother had hang-ups about her outperforming him, the stealing of the football position was just one example. There were countless others throughout their childhood. The sad part was, they both knew that he would easily perform her, if he just applied himself. The only problem, Luke never wanted to apply himself.

Instead, it was easier to attack out of jealousy than to work. It was easier to take what was hers.

“Where is this anger coming from?” She thought to herself.

Then just as she mentally slated the legendary class, she was met with a system message.

Absorber Class Material Found. Would you like to absorb aspects of the werewolf?

Warning: Absorbing unknown material essences might have unattended side effects.

Alexa saw the message, and felt her heartbeat once, then stop. She didn’t know what would happen when she accepted the material. The only thing she was absolutely certain of, was the fact that her life would change forever after she began the absorption process.

Just before she was about to go ahead with the process anyways, to assimilate the aspect of werewolf, a well-dressed government official came forward to speak before the assembled students. It was clear he was some type of Government Spook, but that was all that was clear from the black suit, shades worn in doors, and the fact that the man positively radiated with mana.

“I present to you Mr. Bullford, from our tri-state investigation team. He has come here to discuss a very important matter.” Principal Summers stated from the sidelines.

Then with the brief introduction out of the way, Bullford came forward and announced words that would have sent Alexa into a fit of panic. That is, if she in fact had any emotions or ability to express fear naturally. Instead, she watched on stoically while Bullford gave a speech that would have outed her entirely.

“I am here today to warn you of a werewolf epidemic that is plaguing our community.” Bullford began, and then all the murmuring that had been going on in the gymnasium instantly ended, as all eyes and ears pressed forward to hear what the government official would say next.

“I have reason to believe that someone in your community might be infected with the Lykanthropy virus at this very moment…”