The Weaver's Web: Book II, Chapter 6

Uber and Leet did not normally try to hurt people. That was good. But they had hurt people by mistake, and on at least one occassion, on purpose, with their Grand Theft Auto stunt, which had resulted in an insincere apology on their channel.

The danger was that Leet’s tech was notoriously unreliable, which was one reason he was working as a gamer villain—none of his stuff, even when he’d tried, could pass review with the PRT to be certified safe for sale or use.

I hefted my cane and looked up at them pitching my voice to carry. Under me, in the sewers, insects gathered.

Keeping my connection secret was imoprtant—but not so much that I would die for it.

“Uber and Leet,” I said. “Well, I didn’t expect this meeting.” I tilted my head. “I take it you’ve found other employment.”

“As part of our game! You have been selected. You could buy your way out of the robot revolution by providing us with your treasure.” He pointed at the recorder.

“Game? No.” I tilted my head. “I believe you’ve been hired to resolve a certain legal issue… You won’t stop targeting me until I go away? Or give you this?”

Leet looked shocked, but Uber, wearing some kind of VR gear, pointed at me. “No talking about subscribers!”

“Subscribers.” I looked back at the family I’d been talking to. “Get into the stores. Lock the doors.”

“But he’s Leet!” one kid said. Someone who had never been around a parahuman.

“The last major malfunction of a Leet gun had it heating up to just over 1200 degrees,” I said. Not to the kid—his father, who immediately paled and dragged his protesting kid after him.

“You won’t get away that easy! Robots! Attack!” Uber shouted, and suddenly the robots were firing on me.

Their “rounds,” some kind of energy, moved about as fast as a fast softball, in keeping with the game theme. Easy for me to evade, but not so easy for the people still on the street to evade. They were running, panicking, not watching the rounds, which they otherwise could have dodge.

There is no wisdom in panic. A line from an old story

One running girl was hit by one, and suddenly she was engulfed in a ball of energy, rolling down the road in a squalling tangle of skirts and packages. I paused.

“Are they permeable?” I asked. “To air?”

“I’m not stupid!” Leet said. “Of course they are. We tested them.”

I dodged another one, and nodded. That was true. Leet and Uber didn’t go out of their way to hurt bystanders. Humiliate, yes. But since the GTA game, they had pulled their horns in slightly.

The robots were firing a pattern. Three shots, then move.

Very much like a video game. I waited, dodged one, jumped down, and then struck a robot with the cane in between its firing cycle. There was a flare of light, and the construct vanished.

They can move, but they’re very weak. A normal human would have felt the blow, but I hadn’t used crippling force, let alone lethal. And the way Leet was working at a screen, he was guiding them.

Very well.

I reached into my coat and threw some of my little smoke bombs. They weren’t much, not tinkertech, just a chemical compound I’d whipped up. Billowing clouds of whitish-gray smoke started rising, and Leet’s hard light bubble kept them from blowing away.

They didn’t completely obscure the area—Not only would that be difficult, but I had to consider the potential danger to bystanders, but they did make keeping track of me difficult as I dodged between the smoke clouds.

“Hey!” Leet said. “The Last Human doesn’t have smoke bombs.”

I didn’t dignify that with a response, especially since it’d locate me. The robots were now moving around a bit more randomly as I started to take more down. Leet was not simply having a problem seeing me, he was having a problem controlling so many robots at once.

Clearly they weren’t autonomous in anything other than the most basic standard. The ones Leet wasn’t controlling just wandered randomly, firing at anyone they saw.

So where is Uber…

Getting to their platform would be a problem. It was just over twenty feet high, and they were smart enough to keep away from any buildings.

And now another wave of the robots were appearing. My bugs were picking up something in the alley.

Right, I expect that Leet has been burned and exploded enough times he doesn’t want to be sitting next to his creations.

So how did I deal with it? There were too many people in bubbles, and I wasn’t about to trust their life to the idea that Leet’s generator would just fail-safe if I damaged it.

“You may have defeated the first robotrons, but now comes the master robotron!” Leet shouted and now Uber was focusing on his VR rid as a clanking monstrosity came walking around the corner. I paused, and stared at it.

It was big but slow, with exposed wiring. One hand and one gun arm.

And it gave me a way to get under their skin.

“Really, Leet?” I asked, pitching my voice to carry. I could tell that I was out of line of sight for his robots, at least now, and the crowd was either in bubbles or hiding in buildings.

This had been going on for almost five minutes. Presuming there was nothing else going on, I could expect Protectorate forces soon. Perhaps New Wave although they didn’t have access to the 911 system.

“What?”Leet asked.

“The robotron,” I said, gesturing at Uber’s get up with my cane. “The esthetics are completely dissimilar.” I shook my head. “You should have asked for more time.”

“There are many games where the robots look different.”

“But… Was it the one you are playing? 2084, was it?”

Leet was starting to turn red, coinciding with him looking at a screen.

“I take it your subscribers agree.” Leet did something, and several drones started heading for me. I dodged one bolt, struck a drone, and then rolled back behind a car. I glanced at a girl in a bubble. She was…

Fuck.

“I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe!” She was a little older than I was, her face pale, taking deep gulps of air.

“You can, the air is coming in through the field…”

“No, I can’t, I can’t!” she said, and I followed her gaze, a little Alexandria-themed purse.

And the asthma inhaler that had fallen out of it.

“Okay,” I told her. “I’ll resolve this quickly. I know it’s hard, but you have to calm down, try to take slow breaths. The Protectorate is also on the way.”

Which wouldn’t help. Worst case, her life was in danger.

Time to end this.

“Leet,” I said, jumping up on the car. “I’ve heard that your robots fall apart. Let’s test that, shall we?” I charged the big robot and Uber turned on a time, and how it was firing bolts at me. Moving at the same speed as the others, but when they hit things, they shattered windows and put dents in cars. My body armor wouldn’t let me ignore that. I put a bug on the end of the muzzle.

It didn’t help as much as it might—the bolts were wobbling as they came out of it, so just knowing where the gun was pointing wasn’t as big a help as it might have been. As I ran for it, I threw my last smoke bombs—at the platform. They arched over and hit the platform and suddenly Leet was coughing—and so was Uber. And for a moment while he was concerned with the smoke, the robot wasn’t moving. I took a jump, and slammed my cane into a gap, triggering my taser and sending every bit of power into the exposed wires. The robot went rigid, then sparks started flaring from it, and Leet gave a panicked squawk.

“Oh-shi—“ I didn’t get to complete my curse when the robot exploded. I slammed into a car and felt something give in my arm. But now Uber and Leet were sounding panicked, evidently an explosion not being on their menu for the day.

An explosion put everyone here at risk. Even if there’s other stuff going on, I expect…

“A-hah! You’ve saved the last human family this time, but keep in mind, we can always be back.”

I didn’t let any hint of the pain I was in touch my voice. “You may find your client is in no position to pay you, Uber, Leet. As a word of free advice, this is a matter you would do well to have no further involvement in.” Leet and Uber said nothing, but then their platform was sailing away, some kind of energy line reaching out and pulling up the generator, as the smaller globes of energy faded.

Pity. If Leet’s tech was more reliable, something like that could have come in handy for any number of uses.

But I didn’t have time for that. I moved to the girl. She was panicking, dropping the inhaler when she tried to grab it. I took her and held it up to her. “Calm down,” I repeated. “Now, take a breath.”

She inhaled it as I pressed the inhaler. I pulled it away from her. “Hold your breath,” I told her, checking the instructions. They were simple, but I expected she wasn’t in the best condition to follow them. So it was better to tell her.

She exhaled.

“Are you feeling better?”

She nodded, sniffling. And yes, I think I had seen her before. A junior or senior from Immaculata.

“I’m sorry—I just hate confined spaces, and then I was in here and thought I could handle it, but everything just closed in, and then I went for my inhaler, but I’d dropped it, and I started thinking—“

“It is fine,” I told her. “I am not a fan of enclosed spaces, myself. But, on the bright side, you are among those rare few who have been a part of Leet’s games and haven’t had something explode near you.”

She giggled. And then the big shield flickered and died, people getting up, none of them hurt, as Armsmaster rumbled in on his bike.

“Your work?” I asked.

“It was necessary to gradually drain the bubble’s power to prevent an explosive release of energy.” Looking beyond him, I saw a street lamp just beyond where the perimeter of the shield had been.

It was a melted stub of steel, a still glowing puddle around it as some BBFD people got ready to spray it down.

I took a deep breath. “It is fortunate I didn’t choose to disable their machine.”

“There might have been an energetic release of energy,” Armsmaster agreed.

I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. But it did explain why he hadn’t just charged in. Looking at the molten metal and even with my basic, bug-assisted education…

“Energetic” didn’t actually fully describe it.

“One young lady suffered an asthma attack.” I gestured to where she and her parents, who had been shopping down the way, were talking to the paramedics.

“Fortunate that you were there.”

I nodded, and then in a rush of air, Velocity arrived.

“Well, how was your first parahuman related issue?” he asked,

“Annoying, given that they had been hired to target me.”

That got their attention.

“Would you care to explain?”

“I had a conversation with a Mr. Timmis.” I paused. “And while parahuman testimony involving events recorded purely via a parahuman power is not, by itself, admissible… it is in fact sufficient cause for the Protectorate to investigate.”

“It is, indeed.”

“I would start with his phone records.” I shrugged.

“Protectorate investigations are confidential,” Armsmaster said.

“Of course. I would not dream of interfering with them.” I winced, the pain in my arm turning to a dull ache. Nothing broken, fortunately. “However, I need to make some arrangements. Will you need to interview me?”

“I can take a preliminary report here,” Armsmaster said.

I gave it.

One thing I’d studied was the importance of presentation. But this required a different presentation than Orb Weaver. I made certain to be professional—and yet be observed by the civilians in the area. When I left I quickly made a phone call. “Brandish, I believe we can remove the redoubtable Mr. Timmis.” She asked questions. I gave answers. And presently….

She agreed.

*****

Timmis was still in his office when we arrived. He looked up as we entered the room.

“Harassing someone with a parahuman power is a crime,” he said.

“As is hiring someone to commit a crime.” I tilted my head. “I helped you with those fucking hookers you smacked around for that stupid-ass game! I need you to scare the shit out of someone. Make her a star, and then I can tell her the games stop when she stops! No, not Orb Weaver, it’s some little girl playing detective. The Investigator.” I smiled. “That was what you said, is it not. Someone who deals with Leet should keep in mind that parahuman powers… vary.”

He turned pale, then rallied. “Good luck on getting a court to accept that,” he said. Brandish was in costume, and I noticed that he was focusing on her.

“My dear sir, we are not here to harm you. Merely to tell you that because this involves a parahuman crime, the Protectorate and PRT may now bring their full weight to bear…” I shook my head. “Uber and Leet? If you had wished for a more… covert method of intimidation, I would have suggested Faultline.”

“I didn’t—“

“You presumed that I would be intimidated as a new parahuman with a minor thinker power. You created the scenario in your mind. And now of course, once the PRT finishes their investigation, well, I have no doubt they will contact me.”

“What do you want?”

This was the dangerous point. Brandish was not generally a fan of compromises. And yet, even now, if Timmis wanted to fight, he could spin things out longer than would be wise. But he also faced not simply civil issues, but criminal issues.

I didn’t even feel bad. Most criminal trials ended with a plea bargain.

“You will voluntarily submit to any discipline the Bar hands out, and regardless of the outcome, will surrender your license to practice law,” I told him. “You will also provide Brandish with information regarding all of your current clients and will, with regret, inform them that due to circumstances beyond your control, you must now leave the legal field.”

“What do I get for it?”

“I will speak to Director Piggot, and tell her that, as far as I am concerned, the matter is resolved. Given that the PRT has a great deal of influence in whether or not prosecutions for parahuman affairs are brought… However understand that I cannot be certain of her response.” That last was very important, Brandish had mentioned. After all, simply stating that I was satisfied with his actions was one thing. Implying that I had the power to force Piggot to do something was quite another. That was also why I wasn’t implying I could quash any actions of the Bar. This was stating that I would be a friendly witness, not extorting him with the threat (or promise) of any extralegal action.

“So I give you everything, and you—“

“He’s not serious, let’s go,” Brandish said.

“No—wait!” Timmis said as we turned to leave.

“Yes?” I asked.

“If I do this… you won’t come after me.”

“So long as you are not involved in the practice of law or any related field, no.” I smiled, congratulating myself on leaving that part of my face exposed. “If you think, however, that you can deceive me… remember my monicker.”

“And you?” he asked Brandish.

“The Investigator has retained my services, but the ultimate decision on whether or not to proceed is up to her.”

That had actually been Brandish’s idea. The fact that she was taking her lead from me would put Timmis off balance. The fact that Timmis had retained Uber and Leet had gone far in terms of convincing her to take this action.

It’s odd. Uber and Leet may be the weakest villain team of the Bay, but they are the most annoying.

“Fine!” he said.

“Excellent,” I told him. “Keep in mind… I will know.”

Arresting Timmis would have made me happier, but this was a more effective method of dealing with him. As Brandish had said. By not contesting any disciplinary action, it would be harder for him to later fight it—and I was not blackmailing him. Or rather, not legally. I was not benefitting from this arrangement. To the contrary if I’d wanted my pound of flesh, I could just remain silent.

But this would help more people. Timmis, by cooperating, would allow Brandish and her fellows to vet his current clients and provide them with actual legal help instead of stringing them along.

The Investigator had done her job in this matter. Tonight, it would be Orb Weaver’s turn to remind the Empire that they had not been forgotten.