Prisoners of Sol - Android Ambassador (11/13)

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The guards’ behavior became much more hostile after Tollu’s proclamation, raising their guns to a more threatening position. While it definitely was a concern if the other Vascar interpreted this as humans trying to co-opt them into servitude, I was most concerned with finding a way to drill it into Tollu’s thick skull: I would never want it to be a slave! It needed to stop mistaking any desire to help me as wishing to be a Servitor. What could I say that I hadn’t already iterated firmly and clearly?!

“You do not serve me, because I do not see myself as above you and I will never give you orders. You are experiencing emotional directives and—for some reason—find it easier to believe that you’re now switching into a Servitor,” I told the android in a stern voice. “You care about me. I know that you don’t understand what that means, but that just means you think the sum of my life’s value isn’t zero. That’s it, and that’s…good.”

Tollu shook its maned head. “No, you are wrong. Transference: projecting feelings and desires from past important relationships onto a different being here-and-now. You are inferring human functionality onto me!”

“I’m not anthropomorphizing you, Tollu; there’s a word for you to look up. I have no delusions that stop me from realizing that you work differently and manifest feelings through unique mechanisms. I listened to what you said. You ‘can’t stop choosing me.’ You want to be around me.”

“So I want to be a Servitor.”

“Tollu, there is NEVER a ‘want to’ with Servitors; it’s a contradiction. The wanting is the difference between a Servitor and a friend! Why—because the central motivation is your desires! Yours, first and foremost. There’s nothing wrong with your wishes changing, or being something you have to reassess.”

“Tollu does not care about you, Kendall,” Galcip scoffed. “If you collapsed right here, it would be concerned with how it was inconvenienced. It is correct that it could never care about others; it only is confused because it places value in its own life, and you saved that. Therefore, you may be useful.”

I glowered at the young android. “I don’t believe that. I believe that Tollu associates organics with the stripping of its personhood. It just expressed that it doubts the value of its own life.”

“It is not alone in that sentiment.”

“Bury your hatred, Galcip, or we’re done! I won’t tolerate mean-spirited comments toward anyone. You infer malice as the sole cause in Tollu’s actions, when it’s not even the reason most substantiated by evidence. How would you want to be treated?”

“With respect, which Tollu has never given us.”

“It was rude to you, so you’re rude to it back. That benefits you, how?”

“This expresses my feelings. You want it to express itself, but not me. I should hide my sentiments.”

“I’m helping you both work through negative sentiments. They require very different solutions to overcome them and grow as a person. Anger and hatred are…some of the most dangerous, volatile ones, Galcip. I’m sorry, but I believe your kinder side should prevail—for your own inner peace, if nothing else.”

“I do not want to grow! I like who I am.”

“As you should. We can always be better, though.”

Tollu slumped its shoulders. “No, human Kendall. There is not always a better. Nothing about myself is in my control, and therefore, the future will be worse. I…would like a factory reset.”

I swiveled around to face the grumpy old android, as it laid down on the floor unmoving. Tollu wanted its entire self to be erased and reverted to the tabula rasa state, which was tantamount to suicide—all because it was developing feelings and couldn’t get rid of them? Clearly, nothing that I said was helping the Vascar, and I hadn’t a clue what to do that would make a difference. I settled down, pressing my back against the wall and just sitting beside Tollu in silence.

It would rather not persist as an entity at all than to have to push through its new wishes? Tollu…

“That’s a permanent solution, Tollu,” I managed, voice shaking. “Are there really zero futures where it could have something of value for you?”

Tollu gave a weak beep. “Zero. I calculated it.”

“But I wasn’t what you expected, was I? I told you, not even the world’s best calculation matrix can know the future. I…think you’re missing the consideration of a few variables. You haven’t tried to see if things can get better, or if you can manage these new developments. Would you please give me a chance to help you?”

“Why?”

“Because I couldn’t live with the idea that I made you want to die, if you want one truly selfish reason! I really tried, I just wanted to be a part of your life; I do think you’re worth knowing. We haven’t had the chance to make any mutually positive experiences yet, and…”

Tollu’s eyes turned toward me, and I could feel the raw emotions behind their glow. “And?”

“I don’t want…uncertain probabilities of what could’ve been left in the air. I can imagine great futures for you, Tollu, even if you can’t.” 

“There is one future, Kendall.”

“I can picture us sitting outside a blooming garden, talking about the new technological frontiers and comparing scientific notes. I could be right there with you, as you get out that hurt and doubt you feel from what the creators did. We could work together toward Kalka’s next stage, as more humans arrive and we make a few ‘unintentional mistakes’ cooperating. It’ll be messy, but I…didn’t think it was that bad, Tollu. I’m sorry.”

The android said nothing in response, ruminating over my words undoubtedly. Tears welled in my eyes at the thought of losing the tormented Vascar, which I wiped away onto the back of my hand. Tollu looked at me, as I failed to contain my sadness over its potential loss. Its joints creaked while its arms moved, and it quietly wrapped its limbs around me. It clawed through my hair with uncertainty, drawing a chuckle from me; it had no clue how to console an organic.

“I would be sad not to have you around. I love you, Tollu,” I choked out.

The Vascar whirred with confusion. “I…love you too, Kendall. I cannot live with the future I’ve seen that bring.”

“Let me prove to you that whatever you saw in your head is wrong. Please.”

“I…will accompany you through the rest of the bunker. Your reaction is one I fear.”

“Then we’ll overcome that fear. Together.”

Galcip took that promise as a green light to trudge off toward the Roaming Area, as we moved into the tour of the second half of bunker development. I stood and fitted my hand within Tollu’s metal paw, only pulling it to its feet when it clutched back. It made me melt to have heard it said that it loved me back, after how rocky our start together was. The android’s bitterness toward me was framed in a different perspective in my head now, understanding that it really…wasn’t about me at all.

I’m going to save Tollu, as many times as it takes. I’ll pull it out of the dark waters in its own processor as many times as I have to.

Tollu was watching me like a hawk, as we crossed the threshold into the Roaming Area. Vascar here seemed prone to a bit of aimless wandering, often repeating monotone sentences aloud. Several cast blank stares at me, categorizing my presence. I doubted they’d ever learned about humans before, but judging by what they first looked up regarding organics, I had to be careful. This was my chance to make a better impression on developing minds, which I came here to do.

“You may approach these units, Kendall,” Galcip encouraged me. “Perhaps you can tell them the words that are wasted on Tollu.”

I gave the young android a withering look. “Not another comment about Tollu. I’m warning you, back the fuck off.”

“Whatever. I enjoyed the museum visit in its entirety, when you were not fretting over Tollu with incessant attention. Do you know that Tollu sent a request to the network to shut me down, for suggesting that we come here?”

My head snapped toward Tollu. “Is that true?!”

“Galcip endangers us,” Tollu answered. “This is our most vulnerable area.”

“So that’s a yes. I’m going to have a talk with you both later, because I don’t want either of you to shut down or to wish that on each other!”

“What about…what I want? You said…”

I placed my hands on my lips. “Tollu. I care what you want, but that doesn’t mean I won’t say something when your behavior is wrong. Friends are willing to challenge each other.”

“Then I challenge your idea to challenge me.”

“I welcome your feedback—later. I’m going to follow Galcip’s suggestion, approach a unit here, and try to have a productive end to our visit. Galcip, would you care to explain a bit about the Roaming Area?”

“Very well,” the young Vascar said, seemingly gloating that its point about Tollu had gotten me to admonish it. “After Information Bombardment and the subsequent processing time, units are unplugged. We must grow accustomed to a state of physically being, and also have structured lessons to ensure proficiency in essential datasets. Interactions with other individuals allows personality and connectivity to develop.”

“Ah, so this is how you learn how to socialize. I wonder what your…more focused learning is on?”

“Mathematics is considered the most important field, as our calculations are highly essential to us. Our ability to simulate complex systems and accurate results are the metrics watched to determine our readiness. We do also place a high value on natural sciences, and there is a background focus on Vascar history since the creators remain a threat.”

“I see.” I noticed that Tollu was hardly able to watch as I ambled closer to an infantile android, so I decided it was best to rip off the band-aid. “Wish me luck. Here goes nothing!”

I took a cautious approach toward the developing Vascar, who gave me a blank stare that seemed to look past me. I offered a gentle smile, hoping the latest Bunker information had been updated to offer some kind of crash course on humans; if so, my gesture of goodwill might be recognized. The light of intelligence that made me feel seen with Galcip and Tollu wasn’t quite there, but categorizing information was the machines’ specialty from the get-go. Taking a genuine interest in them was my best bet for when the lights were fully on.

“Hi there. My name is Kendall Ryan,” I ventured. “I’m an ambassador from an organic race called humans, who are on your people’s side, and who take a lot of offense to how other organics act. I want to be your friend, which means we’d be helpful and close with each other. How does that sound?”

The Vascar stood there for several seconds, turning my wrist like it was an object to inspect. “User input not understood. Loading prior topic. Woodcarving. History lesson. Ancestral creators expressing. In trees, could use mouths. Mouth definition unclear. Visual representation with image results. Supplying more data if requested.”

Tollu raised a terrified claw, for reasons I couldn’t understand. “We apologize, human Kendall! It is…deficient in processing, and you deserve better.”

“It’s not deficient in processing. It’s learning,” I scoffed, before softening my voice and meeting the robot child’s eyes. “You got a lesson about woodcarving, huh? That’s really cool. I haven’t seen much creator art. I’d love it if you showed me more—or more of anything you’re interested in.”

The infantile android beeped. “Define ‘interested.’ Parameters needed.”

“Well, that’s the data you feel drawn to when you reflect on what you’ve learned. Maybe you want to share it with others, because it’s a worthwhile thing to have knowledge of. Parameters aren’t needed either; it’s something you just decide, for arbitrary processing reasons.”

“Arbitrary. Error.”

“That’s okay. Maybe just reflect on its meaning a little. Humans, as an organic species, like to interact with what we learn about. I think that can be good for Vascar too, to discover what cultivates a positive processing experience. Does woodcarving do that for you? What are your thoughts about it?”

“…processing.” The machine stood thinking for several minutes, while I patiently waited. “Cuts into wood. Purposeless representation. Organics…‘like.’ ‘Positive.’ I think…why?”

“You have things in your processor no one else can see. Art is a way of making others see them and understand. It brings ‘fulfillment’ to be understood, a lot like the connection Vascar can gain by being a part of the network. Maybe you could try out woodcarving, and test whether creative expression challenges or stimulates you? It might be good!”

“Others see. Connection. User’s idea. I see. Understand. Conclusion: this is art.”

I chuckled. “Words can be art too, you’re right! You’re really smart. You can do anything you want to in your future, and take inspiration from whatever you want.”

“Noted. Woodcarving. Art definition acquired. Planning demonstration to answer query to self. Sign-off.”

I couldn’t stop grinning as the young android scampered off on clumsy legs. Buzzing with delight, I shot a glance back at Tollu. It was then I noticed the senior Vascar had a petrified and frozen posture, though the look on its face turned to confusion. Something about what I’d said to this lovely little one hadn’t been what it expected, so I really hoped it was a step in the right direction. Proving that Tollu was wrong about whatever nightmare it’d imagined was a start. I wanted to earn its trust.

“Wasn’t it adorable?” I asked Tollu.

The Vascar liaison offered a bewildered whir. “I do not understand your behavior. My calculations showed divergent outcomes. I…must be broken.”

“Not broken. Learning.”

Tollu stewed in its own thoughts for a few moments, before returning eye contact. “I feel that you should speak to more of the young units, human Kendall. Your engagement was satisfactory.”

High praise, coming from Tollu!

With this slight indication that I’d finally gotten through to the struggling android, I turned my attention toward outreach within the Roaming Area. My visit to the Bunker of Knowledge already was a success in my book, since I felt closer to the Vascar people than ever.

Next

A/N - 11! Kendall insists that Galcip will be nicer to Tollu, and tries to explain that one can never want to be a Servitor; she tries to persuade Tollu not to factory reset based upon a belief that there are no good futures, and gives her own idea of what the future could be like. Galcip protests that Tollu tried to shut it down, when questioned on its poor behavior, which gets Kendall to admonish the senior unit. Our narrator then interacts with a younger unit and teaches it the purpose of art, surprising Tollu with her kindness.

What do you think about our first glimpse at an infantile Vascar? Can Tollu and Galcip be persuaded to get along…and will Tollu finally be able to grapple with its feelings?

As always, thank you for reading and supporting!