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spacepaladin15
spacepaladin15

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Original NOPverse Notes

Hello! Since the AU was quite enjoyed, I thought about releasing some chapters from original NOP, which never saw the light of day and was very different! The first iteration of NOP was more of a traditional HFY story, before I decided no—I wanted there to be despair, humans to be underdogs, and a gritty yet over-the-top tone that even threw shade at a few of the detrimental tropes that I realized had been done to death.

So with that said, I was going to drop at least part of my favorite deleted arc from Fever Dream NOP tomorrow! I thought about editing it to be modern canon compliant, such as edited out names and putting in correct lore stuff, but then decided it would be more fun to see how it was and what changed. Let me know if you disagree, but that was my thinking. So without further ado:

The Plot: The Venlil successfully hid humanity after first contact. Tarva even visited Earth (I still have those chapters too if you guys enjoy this), and we learned ahead of time that the Federation had planned a first strike against us. The year is 2137, almost a full 12 months post-first contact.

Humans step in to liberate an Arxur farm world, hiding their true identity from the Federation much like the “Gaians” in canon. The prey species are more actively combative here, and are fighting to try to take back the cattle. The unexpected allies to turn the tide draw a lot of attention…

A few details that have changed:

Zarn was a name I recycled from a very nice POV character of a Federation infantryman rather than a sadist doctor; same for Rumi if we release up to that part. Both were Takkan soldiers, and of course, Rumi was later a Gojid.

Takkans were weird triceratops-like creatures in their original design.

The Takkan homeworld was uncreatively called Takka because frankly I was just putting stuff down, in modern canon it’s Marna.

Arxur blood was green rather than red.

Not all species had music. This is a minor point but I’m sure it’ll irritate some folks lol, so I want to point out that is not canon now.

Other notes:

A few lines and phrases may be familiar. I did keep some things that I really liked/were well-put, and that influenced a lot of later ideas, but I don’t think I can be too chastised for copying myself 🤣

Original NOP chapters were short by modern standards, but I’ve decided not to combine them for cadence and flow.

Comments

Interesting. I love this series, and have binged on it. Thank you.

Kirk Mckeag

I thought Takkans were Hippos honestly. With a big mouth and tusks... Wait is the Takkan snout part of the skull triangular or oval rectangular ?

Copernicus

I love this, I love you and I love NoP.

Schnitzelsemmel

>Takkans were weird triceratops-like creatures in their original design. Change that was a mistake that I wouldn't forgive you. Interestingly, the story would have been much calmer at the start, giving the time to Tarva and the Venlil to appreciate their new ally despite their difference, which would have made the Federation's hostile reaction to this revelation even more irrational and unfounded. I'm honestly curious to know how you would have ended up with this version. Was the omnivore secret and the gen-mod was still here? And would you also have ended with the final revelation that 'The Hunger' was a catastrophic prion epidemic?

un_pogaz

Yeah, it's would like the whole unspoken story of the encounter between humans and *check the story* the Dreeden.

un_pogaz

I’m all for getting a look at the unused concept chapters! Sounds really interesting!

Khan333

Groovy.

PhycoKrusk

NoP flipping HFY tropes on their heads is one of my favorite parts of the series.

Nick229

It was really fun seeing the initial notes. I agree sometimes you just need to put ideas on paper and figure out what works later.

ShadowDancerBrony

"The Venlil successfully hid humanity after first contact. Tarva even visited Earth, and we learned ahead of time that the Federation had planned a first strike against us. The year is 2137, almost a full 12 months post-first contact." That's really interesting, the original premise aligns far closer to Prey, would love to see how these chapters would have went.

DemonVee

Takkan homeworld names Takka?, woah very diffferent NoP. I love it No coments

Flavia Ortiz

Early versions and arcs of NOP sounds like a GREAT idea! I’ll be honest, HFY is sort of a guilty pleasure of mine; I like having lower tension stories once in a while, not having to worry about growing levels of stress as I read on. However, because of that, I don’t tend to follow the stories closely. I just read a few once in a while, and occasionally find one that has a good idea, or good writing decisions, or just amuses me. Most of them are too methodical and predictable for me to take seriously. Those choices you made were definitely for the better. It’s what took the story from a series I thought I was just going to follow until I got bored, to one that I was actively invested in. I don’t subscribe to any other HFYs. Just this one. Even still, I like the idea of seeing what could have been. Aside from being fun, it also helps us appreciate what we got! I’m glad to have been able to come along for this journey!

EliasArt2Life

“Takkans were weird triceratops-like creatures in their original design.” Did they have a rivalry with a sauropod-like species by any chance? I couldn’t just reference Rio forever I need to mix it up with land before time references as well

Byron Ritchie

Hmm. I suppose releasing this would be like seeing a TV show's pilot. I do enjoy looking at such things just to compare it with the final product.

DreamEnvoy

👍 Good idea.

Gumcel

Wait a minute, I think I've read a story like this one before. But in all seriousness, it is a fascinating look into the original premise for the story, being able to compare what you wanted it to be and what it turned out like is a new look that I'm all for.

password123-4138

Sure, could be interesting and would give you some free time to either write ahead for whatever or just relax.

Roscuro

Triceratakkans suddenly makes me realise none of the aliens really look like extinct animal families, they're all similar to current animals.

Yonael Blackwood

This is actually so cool. And what fun to think about the venlil as our guardian angels. How liberating it would feel finding out how the Federation changed them long ago after that lengthy conflict in the stars.

Quiidek

Yessss gimme. Use the scrapped chapters to pad your release schedule and GIVE YOURSELF MORE BREAKS. We get cool scraped chapters, you satisfy your desire to keep the content hounds fed while also getting to relax, everyone wins!

Wesley Rigg

Anything you put out, I will read. Hope this helps!

Matthew Mclemore

Irregular post time, huh.

Aurxite


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