Kink, Freud, and Feminism: Where Psychology went Wrong and Where it is Now

I finished my first class for my master's program! Attached here, as well as copy-pasted, is one of the papers I wrote for the class, with a few additional hours put into after the fact. I'd love your feedback if you check it out! Did you learn anything, do you disagree with anything, or does the piece inspire additional questions? What do you think about it?

Kink, Freud, and Feminism: Where Psychology Went Wrong and Where it is Now

Kink has a history of being pathologized and discriminated against, leaving a lasting stigma (Shahbaz and Chirinos, 2017). The psychological community contributed to this unfortunate history by misidentifying kink as a disorder. It wasn’t until 2013 that the DSM 5 removed its pathologization of paraphilias, leading towards a de-pathologization of kink in acknowledgement of research suggesting the kink community has mental health comparable to the general population (Shahbaz & Chirinos, 2017). Still, the lingering effects of stigma negatively impact kink participants (Lawrence and Love-Crowell, 2007; Shahbaz and Chirinos, 2017; Sprott et al., 2023). Interestingly, emerging research, such as Cascalheira et al. (2021), explores models of healing through kink that BDSM participants have been undertaking themselves.

Kink has a history of being pathologized and stigmatized as a mental disorder. Shahbaz and Chirinos (2017) explain the depth of this history in their book, citing that kink participants have experienced discrimination, particularly being targeted for their kink practices in child custody proceedings and losing their children in court. This discrimination stemmed from, at least in part, the DSM’s section on paraphilias. The section on paraphilias in the DSM stems from Freud’s classifications. This paper focuses on sadomasochism, which Freud ranked as the worst of the paraphilias. Prior to DSM 5, it was not uncommon for the literature to identify kink as a pathological re-enactment or response to early abuse. Southern (2002) serves as a prime example of the ways kink has been identified as a key issue to solve in therapy before the 2017 DSM 5 change. Southern argues, in short, that female early trauma survivors have undergone brainwashing through their abuse that they then re-enact repeatedly as an addictive behavior to avoid processing and recognizing the pain of the trauma. She suggests therapy to undo the brainwashing, including arousal reconditioning and complete abstinence from the “addictive behavior” of kink. Southern focuses on three extreme case studies to make her point and quotes Moser and Levitt (1987): “…more women than men in the SM community re-enact their abuse history or engage in sexual act to punish themselves” (p. 215). With shocking accounts of three suffering women followed by feminist analysis mixed with Freudian developmental ideas and other psychological concepts, Southern paints a dire picture of women involved in sadomasochism. While Southern acknowledges that there is a kink community that has some healthy consensual activity, she lacked the context we have today and played into defaulting to pathologizing the behavior.

Today, we have research with robust cohort sizes that suggests that kink participants do not have more childhood abuse or unwanted sexual contact (Ten Brink et al, 2020), they have higher well-being scores (Ten Brink et al, 2020; Wismeijer & van Assen, 2013), score lower on neuroticism, and interestingly, score higher than non-kinky research participants on personality traits such as extroversion, conscientiousness, and openness to experience (Wismeijer & van Assen, 2013). Additionally, according to Chirinos and Shahbaz (2017) and the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom that they cite, kink participants “tend to have a higher level of self-esteem; are healthier than the average person; have better than average communication skills, imagination, and self-awareness; and are capable of undergoing insightful reflection during psychotherapy” (p. 25) Sprott et al. (2023) also cite Cross and Matheson (2006) that compared 93 sadomasochists and 61 non-BDSM participants and found no differences on measures of psychopathology, escapism , or anti-feminist beliefs. These pieces of evidence stand in direct conflict of the idea that women involved in sadomasochism are particularly brainwashed into the patriarchy, and more broadly, dashes the idea that the kink community needs pathologized.

This history’s legacy hinders treatment. When interviewing psychotherapists that work with BDSM clients, Lawrence and Love-Crowell (2007) found that while BDSM is most often a background issue in therapy, shame and guilt around BDSM were frequent issues. As quoted by Lawrence and Love-Crowell (2007) Therapist F stated: “A common problem is the shame in itself, people feeling that they are all alone and that there is something inherently wrong with them” (p. 75). This could relate to another issue these therapists highlight: the clients’ struggles knowing how to navigate people in their lives that don’t know about their involvement in kink, which could be complicated in a stigmatized environment. This was one of two main relationships issues mentioned. The other relationship issue Lawrence and Love-Crowell’s (2007) therapists recalled was lack of compatibility within relationships. This could be partially remedied by people feeling comfortable and confident in accepting and communicating their kink early to help assess compatibility. These two areas of relationship issues were considered the most common relationship issues identified by the therapists in this study, and relationship issues was the most common problem kinky clients came to therapy with. If that’s not stark enough, the first hurdle therapist may run into when identifying abusive dynamics in kink relationships is hesitance on part of the client to disclose out of fear of being blamed, dismissed, or used as a further example in the stigma around the kink community (Sprott et al., 2023). While it is clear kink isn’t a problem itself, the remaining stigma is.

It is important for therapists to be familiar with the debate over whether BDSM can serve to heal trauma. Consider the case of childhood sexual assault (CSA) survivors. Gewirtz-Maydan et al. (2024) explore the complex debate about whether BDSM can serve as a healing process specifically for CSA. On one hand, some are concerned that the power exchange and physical aspects would retrigger CSA trauma, while on the other hand some argue that BDSM can be a healing tool that allows CSA survivors to explore boundaries, reclaim control, and reshape their relationship to their bodies. Emerging from this debate, one can identify additional potential pitfalls for CSA survivors to be cautious of, namely: 1) struggling to recognize their boundaries, 2) asserting their boundaries if strict consent models are not followed, 3) agreeing to activities they are not fully comfortable with, 4) failing to communicate their limits effectively, and 5) having the knowledge to differentiate between abusive behavior intermixed with BDSM or under the guise of BDSM. With proper safeguards in place, the potential problems highlighted here could be actively worked on in a BDSM context to give survivors a safe, comfortable place to practice those very skills.

While BDSM isn’t a replacement for therapy or therapy itself, some survivors choose it as a method of self-healing (Gewirtz-Maydan et al. 2024). When discussing a range of research in their book on the psychobiology of BDSM, Shahbaz and Chirinos (2017) state that the research findings “are reinforcing practitioners’ statements that, paradoxically, BDSM increases relationship closeness” (p. 26). The research they discuss that may explain this finds similarities between what happens during BDSM scenes as “flow states” that serve as useful stress management tools. Sagarin and associates (2009) support BDSM as a usual stress reliever, with their evidence lying in reduced cortisol levels. This co-regulating in combination with the curative kink model discussed later make a compelling explanation to those who may find the idea that BDSM can bring a couple closer. Finally, Cascalheira and associates (2021) note that: “Positive aspects of the BDSM community may help some trauma survivors, under conditions identified in this paper, transform traumatic memory...kink-oriented clients with trauma histories may benefit from kink-aware, affirming therapists who encourage insight between BDSM, early abuse, and recovery” (p. 353).

The first step to facilitate curative kink practices would be to identify whether the kink practice is healthy through Shahbaz and Chirinos’s (2017) healthy kink checklist. From there, understanding and supporting clients through the curative kink model outlined by Cascalheira and associates (2021) would serve as a next step. To develop their model, they interviewed 20 kink-participating adults with histories of early abuse from five different countries. They identified six overarching themes that were helping kink participants heal: 1) cultural context of healing, 2) restructuring the self-concept, 3) liberation through relationship, 4) reclaiming power, 5) repurposing behaviors, and 6) redefining pain. While this research is in early stages, it carves a path much different from pre-de-pathologization.

To conclude, therapists don’t need to worry about kink itself, but when treating kinky clients, avoiding pathologizing kink is the first step to being competent, being aware of kink culture is vital for identifying abuse properly, and having knowledge of emerging curative kink models would help for assisting kinky CSA and other domestic abuse survivors if they aim to use kink as a part of their healing. As with most behaviors, kink can present in unhealthy ways if clients are struggling with other issues, and cultural awareness and a mindset free of the historic anti-kink stigma is necessarily to navigate these behaviors to avoid pathologizing the kink itself rather than the source of the disordered behavior. Therapists may also need to assist kinky clients navigate shame associated with social stigma, which is not pathological on the side of client but may cause distress and isolation. Psychological study on kink has come a long way since its Freudian beginnings and still has a long way to go.

(References included in attached docx)

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