It's a Beautiful Underworld (Name Pending) - Chapter 1

Now, for something new and different altogether: A grammatically correct first chapter of a sudden inspiration I got when I played Hades and read Jashin-chan Dropkick.

I think this chapter has parts of neither though.

Next chapter of Chaos will be out soon, too.

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"Hey, Valdis, toss over the next volume," The snake-faced girl lounging on the oversized bed that took up a fourth of the room, Kebechet, rolled over and demanded. She was addressing the white-haired girl sitting cross-legged in front of the wall-sized magic mirror while hammering away on her gamepad.

"I'm busy. Get it yourself," Valdis replied in a grumpy tone while mashing the buttons in frustration. Moments later, the screen displayed the death feed of her getting stabbed in the back by a sneaky enemy. "Argh! Why can't I beat this damned noob?"

"The person losing to the noob is the bigger noob, I reckon," Stretching out her forked tongue and licking her lips, Kebechet teased with a sneer. Her slit eyes darted across the room toward the opening door, where a third girl wearing a funerary dress appeared. She was carrying a tray with ambrosia in her hands, adeptly closing the door behind her with one foot while balancing on the other. "Couldn't you let one of the damned souls do this for you, Makaria? You got them all over the place, after all."

"I shouldn't bother the dead for something like that. They went through enough already." With a wry smile, the girl named Makaria set the tray down on the small table and kneeled next to Valdis, whose character was backstabbed in that very instant. With a cry of disbelief, she flapped her mouth open and closed like a fish on land. Makaria looked at the kill cam, which showed the enemy taunting over Valdis's corpse. "Could that be your grandfather?"

"What?" Surprised, the girl pressed the button to display the players on the server. The leader of the enemy team, who had been focusing on Valdis, was named MischievousHorseLover. What's more, the model utilized a piece of headgear that made it look like he had horns.

There was only one person whom those traits applied to perfectly, and the realization made Valdis grow red with anger. How could she have missed that? To vent that anger, she pressed the voice communication button.

"Damn you, grandpa! Stop smurfing!" She shouted into the microphone of her headset. In return, several other people in the game chimed in and mocked her for raging in all-chat in the middle of a match. Some congratulated the player on the receiving end of her wrath; others asked whether or not he really was her grandfather.

"It's your own fault for playing the same slow and lumbering tank every single match, little Valdis," Came Loki's half-gentle, half-mocking voice through the game. Nobody would have believed it if they had been told that the God of Mischief would ever dote on his grandchildren. But she was his only grandchild, born after Hel finally overcame millennia of trouble finding a partner and made do with one from another pantheon. That's why he piled all his love on her, in his own clumsy way.

"Tanks have a role in the meta too!" Valdis railed against her grandfather, punching the carpet to make her point even though Loki wouldn't be able to see or hear it. Despite her role as the Goddess of Accidental Self-Inflicted Deaths, she reminded Makaria more of a Fury.

"Let's leave those two to it." Kebechet waved Makaria over and patted the bed on which she lay prone while reaching for the ambrosia on the small table. The latter picked up one of the fruits and handed it to the snake-like girl before sitting where indicated. It was her bed, but Kebechet and Valdis were her best friends, and they treated this place like home. "So, is Zagreus home right now?"

Makaria froze at the mention of her step-brother. She was in a strained relationship with him because of his reputation as a womanizer. He loved to mingle with the female heroic spirits in Elysium, abusing his authority to order Charon to ferry him everywhere. The fact that he hit on her a long time ago and then let it hang in the air ever since because she was too shy and confused to reply on the spot only exacerbated her growing dislike of him.

"You should give up on him, Kebechet," Suppressing her feelings, Makaria spoke with a mask-like smile.

"W-what do you mean?" Kebechet flapped her broad, thin-lipped mouth open and closed in poorly feigned ignorance. She was the only person who thought the fact that she had a crush on Zagreus was a secret to anybody. Quickly averting her gaze from her friend's narrowed eyes, she saw just in time that Valdis was about to explode. "Uh-oh."

"Come over here and tell me that in person, grandpa!" With these words, Valdis tossed the controller at the magic mirror. Needless to say, it shattered from the impact and broke into a thousand pieces that rained down onto the soft carpet. Her chest heaving from the exertion of anger, the young goddess jumped up and turned on the spot with a furious expression on her face.

Makaria followed her example and stood up from her bed in complete silence, causing Kebechet to flinch. As the former walked over to Valdis, the latter turned into a giant snake and slithered away into the pile of stuffed animals next to the bed. She wanted no part in what came next.

"... the third time..." Makaria's whispered voice was level, but a shiver ran down Valdis's spine at the former's expression.

"L-look, I'll get the dverg to-" She started to rattle down, but interrupted herself at Makaria's smile directed at her.

"This is the third time this year," The Goddess of Blessed Death repeated herself more audibly, causing Valdis to flinch. "I don't mind the cost of restoring the magic mirror I received from my father, who in turn received it as a gift from Hephaistos."

"You do seem to m-" Valdis tried to interject while scratching her cheek in distress but was shot down by Makaria continuing to speak while ignoring her.

"But I can't stand you treating my things with so little care." She maintained her smile, but there was not a hint of warmth in it. Ironically, the spirits of the underworld spoke of Makaria as the unofficial fourth Fury in hushed voices. Her real role was that of the goddess who consoled the mortals that died for their bravery, but she had a fearsome side to her that only the most unfortunate tasted.

"I'm sorry." Hanging her head, Valdis could do nothing but apologize with absolute honesty. "I'll try to change."

"It's good that you understand. But I want you to do, not try." Makaria leaned in on Valdis to put a hand on her shoulder. The latter successfully suppressed the overwhelming urge to shy away, but couldn't stop herself from flinching. "And please stop playing that game. It's bad for your blood pressure."

"I don't have blood pressure." For a moment, Valdis was utterly confused. She tilted her head while thinking about what Makaria may have meant.

In the next moment, the Goddess of Blessed Death fully opened her eyes which had been narrowed from her smile thus far. Her lips were still curled up, but her gaze was as cold as a frost giant's heart.

"I'm sorry. I will stop playing that game," Valdis instantly apologized and expressed her compliance.

"That makes me happy. It means we can spend more time together rather than watch you lose all the time," Makaria's smile turned genuine as she delivered one last blow to Valdis, which the latter could do nothing about but take with her head lowered.

"You're too scary, Makaria." Kebechet peeked over the edge of the bed and transformed back into her human form when she thought that the situation had calmed down.

"Hmm?" Turning her head ninety degrees and tilting it back, the girl in question inquired with a hum. It caused the snake girl to shake her head frantically to deny that she said a word. "Leaving that aside, shall we play cards?"

Both Valdis and Kebechet could only hastily nod in reply, fearing to set off the bomb that was Makaria's temperament.

"Do you really have to go already?" Clinging to Valdis's arm, Makaria asked in a pouty tone. They were already halfway to the docks where Charon would take Valdis and Kebechet back to their rivers in Niflheim and Duat, respectively.

"I stayed here for a whole week already. I have duties to fulfill back home," Troubled by her friend's insistence, Valdis had to bring up work as an excuse to finally leave. Spending a whole week with her was quite tiring, especially when going to the bathroom at night was always such a dangerous endeavor.

Every walk through the House of Hades presented a chance to encounter Melinoe, Makaria's terrifying little sister, also known as the Goddess of Nightmares. Whereas Makaria tended to switch gears based on emotions, Melinoe was as unstable as a being made of two opposing halves could get. She never spoke and always watched from the shadows, letting only her white side peek out. But sometimes, the black side took control, which was even scarier than having to face Makaria's wrath.

The only reason she wasn't known as an unofficial fifth Fury was that she treated the dead as if they didn't even exist. But it didn't help that the youthful girl reminded Valdis of her very own mother, who also had two sides to her, both in the physical and mental sense.

"You don't look like the type to work diligently," Kebechet teased Valdis, then turned away acting as if she wasn't the one who spoke just now when the latter shot her a sideways glare.

"What about you, Goddess of Purification? Shouldn't you be helping Ra get past Apophis every once in a while? Won't the mortals be screwed if he fails someday because you're not there?" Valdis turned the table on Kebechet with a sneer, acting as if it had nothing to do with her. If many people in the mortal world died because the sun didn't rise in the morning, she would have more work to do as well.

"Ra is on vacation right now. Huitzilopochtli has taken over for the next few years." Unconcerned, Kebechet shrugged while returning the sneer. "Did you really believe even one god out there is working around the century without a single year off?"

"... I did." Suddenly came the voice of a man from ahead of them, and Makaria stopped dead in her tracks. Kebechet snapped her mouth open in a silent scream while exchanging a wide-eyed look with Valdis. The latter rolled her eyes at her friend's unsightly behavior.

The man was Zagreus, sitting on a fallen pillar by the roadside right by the pier on the river Styx. He was clearly posing for the goddesses coming his way, showing off his bare chest and toned abs while acting all casual. But out of the three girls, one was making a disgusted face, the other wasn't in the least interested, and the third hid behind them, too shy to make her move.

"What are you doing here, brother?" Makaria asked in a voice so cold that even Niflheim would have felt pleasant in comparison.

"Oh, if it isn't my dear sister." The way Zagreus addressed Makaria made it clear that he hadn't yet realized her aversion toward him. "I was on my way to Elysium, but it seems that Charon has gone on strike."

Valdis stared at him with a flabbergasted expression. She had never considered the possibility that a ferryman of the underworld would refuse to do his job.

"He left a note saying that he's making too little money for the amount of work he does. Must be because of that new god in his heaven that so many mortals worship now. Those don't give their dead obols anymore." Zagreus explained and shrugged as irresponsibly as any spoiled child ever could when talking about their family's employee filing a complaint about misuse of their services. He threw back his head in a practiced move that made his hair sway dreamily. It was meant to woo all the girls, but only Kebechet breathed heavily into Makaria's neck at the sight.

"So, how will we get back home?" Valdis ignored his advances and turned to her friends, causing Zagreus to blink in surprise. He was used to getting all the attention from the ladies around him that he didn't know how to react to being so outright ignored by one.

"Can't you ask Heimdall to make an exception and send you to Niflheim with the Bifrost?" Makaria wondered while looking over her shoulder with a displeased expression directed at Kebechet.

"The Bifrost doesn't reach here. This realm isn't connected to the Yggdrasil." Tilting her head, she made a worried face. Then she turned back to Zagreus, whose eyes lit up in expectation. "What are you still doing here?"

"Ah, um." He cleared his throat and gathered his countenance. "I thought I would wait until services started again."

For a moment, Valdis stared at Zagreus with a completely blank expression. Then she turned around to face her friends without deigning to give him another look. He was utterly confused at her treatment of him but knew not to push her for an explanation. Her reputation for outbursts of anger was famous in all of the underworlds.

"Let's go back. I'll give my mother a call and see what solutions we may have." Sighing, the young goddess decided that it would be best to let their parents handle this situation.

"Can't you just walk?" Makaria tilted her head and asked innocently. It took Valdis a moment to process what her friend just said, but then she closed her eyes and took a long breath.

"There's no direct way to Niflheim from here," She finally explained patiently, wondering why the Goddess of Blessed Death, who was several millennia older than her, didn't know this fact. "I'd have to walk all the way to the world of the living to take the Bifrost."

"I can swim." Since they took their distance from Zagreus and forcefully pulled Kebechet along, she regained her ability to form coherent thoughts. But the first words that came out of her mouth were so ridiculous that both of her friends blinked at her blankly. "What?"

"You would swim in the Styx and the Cocytus?" Valdis stared at Kebechet with a disgusted expression. These two rivers were made of the hatred and tears of the dead, and even Hades himself would never dip a toe in them, let alone go for a swim.

"Did you forget that I'm the Goddess of Purification? You brought it up just earlier." The goddess in question tilted her head with an annoyed expression on her snake-like face. "I can just purify the water around me on my way home."

"This seems like the one time your ability is ever useful," With a disgruntled sideways glance, Valdis expressed her resentment at her friend for suggesting to leave on her own.

"Hey, I'm not going to leave you behind. You can ride on my back," Realizing what had Valdis so upset, Kebechet quickly proposed.

"Wha-" Valdis blushed at the thought of straddling her friend. Even if she were in her snake form, it didn't feel right to ride another person.

"We should walk to the world of the living. I'll accompany you all the way there," Makaria gathered her resolve and suggested with a strangely enthusiastic expression on her face. "Kebechet can go ahead and swim home on her own."

"So cold..." Kebechet pouted with her thin lips and drooped her shoulders.

"No, we should all go together." Coming to terms with the fact that she had to walk on her own two feet, Valdis made her decision. After giving it a moment of thought, she realized that she didn't want to bother her mother for this after all - mostly because it would have inevitably resulted in her grandfather learning about it. He would doubtlessly come to get her and use that story to tease her for eternity. "Do you know the way?"

"I don't. But I know someone who can guide us." With these words, Makaria waved at her two friends to follow her back to the House of Hades. "Odysseus just returned from his latest attempt to flee the underworld. He should be happy to guide us."

"I have a bad feeling about this." At the mention of their guide's name, Valdis's enthusiasm deflated in an instant.

"It's going to be fine." Patting her back, Kebechet encouraged her friend with a broad grin. "What could possibly go wrong?"

"We could all die," Valdis replied deadpan. Makaria and Kebechet stared at her blankly for a moment before bursting out into laughter. Then, Valdis joined them in their merriment as they headed for the palace of the underworld.