Sally - POV (Episode 3)

The chair never felt right. Sally didn’t know if it was because the leather was too worn or because it was too compact to ever slump in it. He supposed that a chair meant to be in a home office wasn’t to slump in. 

He wasn’t prone to slumping anyway. He always imagined a piece of wood for a spine. He was always rigid even as a child. He felt like slouching gave the impression that he was hiding. His father told him men don’t hide even when they’re scared. 

A good piece of advice. Something his father doesn’t do him anymore. He sighs as he reads the amount on the page. Water bill. Gas bill. Electricity bill. He doesn’t know if he hates this type of mail or the lumber mail the most. 

It’s moments like these when he has opened and discarded all these letters on the desk that he feels the most weight on himself. Most days it’s easy to ignore the fact that everything is on him. It’s only when it’s quiet that those thoughts creep in. 

He doesn’t like them. They lead to other thoughts. Suppositions. Hypotheticals. Wishes. Desires. But all empty. He thinks of a life away from here but what would he do? Who could he be? Get a job in a big city? It sounds like generic things anyone says. He doesn’t know. 

And it does no good. This is his place. It’s fine. It’s honourable. His father couldn’t do it but he can. He’ll make it right again. Not only for them family but the town because the town is the family. A legacy his ancestor left him. It won’t end at 150 years. 

He rubs his face, a yawn hits his palms and he can’t remember how long he slept for the night before. He takes the nearly empty coffee mug and the last cold drops hit his dry tongue.

He’s been feeling out of sorts lately. It’s not only that his sibling is back when they shouldn’t be but it’s also about the girl that died near the manor. What shit luck. As if he needed more eyes on the family. The other families hound him. Asking him questions he can’t yet answer.

They offer a solution to his headache but he can’t risk that. No. They can all keep going on as they have. He can fix the mistake that his father made. He just needs time. He slams his fist down on the desk, scattering some bills to the floor. 

Time. He thought he had enough but it’s already been weeks. He hasn’t found the one. And he hasn’t been paying attention to his siblings. Percy is hard. He’s stubborn and obstinate, immature and a thief. He only ever talks to Sally to ask for money he longer has. Of course he loves him. Percy is just lost. He doesn’t understand the importance of being a Crown.

And as for his baby sibling? They’re so young. He knows they’re of age now but in his eyes they are forever too young. They seem like a lamb in a world full of wolves that look to sink their teeth into them. Maybe he was too protective. Maybe he was too scared that he made them scared too. What will happen to them if he isn’t around? It makes him sick just to think of it.

They've been gone for two years and he hasn't even spent the time he wanted to with them. He wish he could tell them what's been bothering him. To explain it in a way that won't terrify them. But what he fears could pass won't pass. He'll make sure of it, so why worry them?

"God," he whispers to himself and rubs his forehead. At moments when he feels like he's being stretched thin he can't seem to think of any simple next steps. Should he keep pour g over these bills? Should he go to the office in town? Sleep?

Maybe he could turn off his brain and watch a nice movie.

He stops rubbing his forehead. He gets up and steps over the fallen papers. He feels the idea crystallize in his mind before he opens the door. It's just what he needs.

There's practically a pip in his step as he reaches out his hand for the knob but as his fingertips touch the cold metal he stops. He hears a strange... noise.

His heart picks up as he tries to put his keen listening skills to the test. A part of him, somewhere deep down feels like he shouldn't, he can't explain why but he goes ahead anyway. Is there someone in the room with them? Or they in pain? Should he barge in?

He tries to distinguish what the sounds mean but either the door is too heavy or his sibling's voice too low to know what kind of noise it is. It's quiet for a few seconds and he moves his head closer to the door.

What if...

Sally has heard about how people who are mentally disturbed often hurt themselves. What if his sibling is dragging a knife through their arm and he's just standing here like an idiot?

With that fear piercing his heart he doesn't bother even knocking before calling out their name and opening the door.

He tries not to throw open the door but as soon as he sees them his eyes frantically search their body from head to toe for signs of blood. He looks at their arms which lay folded on their stomach.

 Did they cut somewhere he couldn't see?

"What are you doing?" he hears himself ask suspiciously. He bites his tongue. The last thing he wants is to seem angry.

"Studying," they respond.

He doesn't believe them. He doesn't believe them at all. Ever since they've been back there's a little voice in his head that second guesses things they say to him. Even though there's no reason for them to lie to him.

But how is he going to accuse them of that and then invite them to the movies? He knows from dealing with Percy how well that goes.

No. Percy and their sibling aren't the same. Still, he's basing his suspicions off of nothing. All this stress is getting to him. If there's a pure and honest thing in this world it's his sibling.

He has to believe that. He has to make the others believe it too.