CRP Patreon Exclusive: “When They Try To Shame You”

ahhhh catholic guilt.

TunaXonXtoast

Thank you for this video. My ex kept trying to shame/guilt trip me with her manipulative behaviors.

What a sad story

Garry Jang

A few years back, I (35) was dating this young girl (18). Let's call her K. Things were excellent, much better than when I was dating ladies my age. Even in terms of soul bonding. I was going to make K the mother of my firstborn. And all in sudden, some common female friends of ours, who are in their late 20 and 30s, start to shaming K -- in an interesting way, such as " how could you let this guy steal time from you." "He is robbing your time and friendship from us," "how selfish that you only spend time with him, he is not in your age group." etc. The shaming is so much the K's mother has to clam her down. Long story short, It was overwhelmingly shaming for K. After those post wall Charlie's angels' sabotaging, my lover, K, ends up move away to another city, and those Charlie's Angels start to skirmish within themselves. Soon after that, all went dark, and nobody talks to anyone. A few days ago, I posted a photo of me having fun with an Instagram model. Then K sends me a few sad-looking yet subductive pictures, only one minute before might night Chrismas, wishing me to find what I was looking for. She does this every time I see/date some new fun girl who is in her prime, and I don't think it will be the last time. Sadly, both K and I know she was what I am looking for. If they can't shame you into getting what they want, they will shame those who you love. I can only hope they go to that special place just for them for a long time. #Dante's Divine Comedy

Thanks coach

Part of this lesson should be to know whose opinions to value and whose not to value. I am largely on board with what Coach is saying here; however, at this point in my life I only surround myself with people who I think are very level-headed and who serve as a barometer of sorts. If one of them would ever tell me that I should be ashamed of something, I would really think it over. Coming from other people whose motives are not genuine, it would be water off a duck's back.

Sadly most parents do this

When people are objectively wrong but not doing something against the law, and do not know they are wrong. It is necessary for us to shame them or worse. Why? Because they will keep doing wrong because they have no consequences for their actions. Of course if your being shamed for sjw liberal bullshit then yeah you should shame them back or blow it off.

Phillip

"Your dad is getting old. He might not have many years left. I really wish you would reconsider your decision of not coming out for Thanksgiving." -Love Mom

There's that saying: people won't do anything to you that you didn't invite them to do (I hope I didn't butchered it). If someone is shaming me there's a possibility that it's a sign a weakness on my part. Of course people shame regardless, but I usually keep an eye on it if it is not a lack of will on my part. Good advice as always coach, and it reminds me of that so few friends that cheer me up and give me good advice when I'm trying something new, like now that I'm switching to another company after 11 years in the current.

Those that anger you, control you.

I feel that people who are the absolute best when it comes to shaming are TEACHERS. God they’re so damn good at shaming that they have a special teaching voice with which they shame their students. My grandmother, who was a teacher by the way, even admitted to doing this shit. I was shamed ALL THE TIME in school for the most trivial of reasons, such as not forming a straight line, putting up the peace sign in pictures, and even speaking out of turn in class for benign reasons. Had to eventually learn not to kowtow to them. Not all of them of course but I’d say a slight majority of them were.

As a jehovah's witness, i was guilted into not wearing a beard. When i had one they shunned me and when i shaved they kept telling me how much better i looked. God, i need to get out!

So true

Shame is a tool that works best on women and weak-willed nu-males. You will see a lot of these nu-males using the shame tactic because fundamentally they are feminine in nature: they form their little cliques, they're concerned about drama and the like, and they eschew rationality for emotional argumentation. I'm brought back to the "How absolutely dare you!" guy a while back. When the nu-male has no reasonable mode of attack on your ideals, he will try to make you feel bad instead.