CRP Patreon Exclusive: “Rethinking Marriage”

I've wound up agreeing with CRP on a lot of topics I hadn't thought about. Great content. However, I'd like to leave my thoughts here on the question of marriage and premarital sex, which I see differently. Does western marriage culture today suck? Sure. Should you bed a girl before getting commited?Maybe. I need to point out that these terrible trends and "necessary evils" like manipulating her to stay are not universal. I come from a very traditional circle, where the divorce rate is less than 5%. That's right. 5%. And it's not a small circle either, with a couple million members. We don't have sex before marriage either. And if a girl leaves her husband for reasons other than adultery or abuse, it's one of the worst possible sins and prepare to face the wrath of God (very religious circle as you can guess). My point is this culture of shoot first before she shoots first isn't for everyone and if you come from a very strong tradition, find a lady from this tradition, you'll be pretty well off, and with the side benefit of not having to feel generally manipulative. As for the question of effort after the wedding: same thing. It depends on your/her lifelong principles.

So happy to finally have become a patron! G Lira - you are one of my heroes in this life. It is that serious. And thank you 🙏🏾

This is too depressing

Ender8888990

Very good video coach, but one question: What if I tell her: „we can get married for fun, and its nice to say wife and husband to each other. but when you start to treat me bad, I will leave you“ you tell her this upfront, so that you are married, but she still doesn‘t feel secure. AND you make a marriage contract that says clearly that she doesn‘t get money from you after divorce. I live in germany, it is possible by law. My father did it 30 years ago with my mother.

Not a truer word spoken coach, one point I’d like to make is that sense of security a woman gets from marriage effects all facets of the marriage. After 20 odd years of marriage with my kids becoming young adults driving and flying the coupe so to speak and it’s just you and her the insecurities come flowing back and they hope they haven’t burnt their bridges, you see it’s a waiting game kids are 18 to 20 years of marriage after that you can reflect on the bullshit and see if you want to continue. This my friend they don’t realise until it’s to late, or they get it on the 11 hour and try and make up for all the bullshit. 😂

In my country, if a man and a woman live in a joined household for 3 years, they're treated as a married couple. The only way to avoid that is to live separately from her. But that is not a way to raise children. The only thing I see is to convince her that divorce would be agony for the kids. Keep reminding her of that, hang that over her head and if she loves the kids enough, she will refuse to put them through it. But then, what do you do if she gets pregnant and it turns out that it's not your kid? Would you leave her? Would you keep the secret and simply treat the kid as if it were your own? Or would you shun the kid and favor your own children instead? Then your own children would think you're a bastard.

I would, but know that you can never return

I wouldn't count on that all the time. Women usually stop working to take care of the kids and over time the man becomes the provider with more provable income which can be used for alimony. She needs to be significantly wealthier than you and it might work.

Having kids outside of marriage is a disaster for children. https://www.brookings.edu/opinions/twenty-years-later-it-turns-out-dan-quayle-was-right-about-murphy-brown-and-unmarried-moms/

Here's that research about children born in single parent families from the Brookings Institution, a left leaning think tank:

Honestly, I think what you're saying here i ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE FOR CHILDREN. The evidence of the research, even from left wing social science researchers (the honest ones, at least) overwhelmingly shows that kids from single parent families do worse, on average, on pretty much any social or economic metric you want to pick.

How to avoid common law marriage?

Isn’t that the perfect way for her to have an excuse to fuck some other guy(s) begins your back because now she feels it’s justified? I mean women do fall into familiarity and lose interest as far as sex and all the other things she used to do well, but I don’t think that most of the time it leads to them cheating because of that. However, if you try to play that game of keeping her on her toes, she may just retaliate when she gets a chance with Chad... And we all know that it’s easy for a woman to get laid, so what do you think of this dilemma?

If I could love another man platonic manner, it would be CRP. This is gospel folks.

They go to Chad and Tyrone University, upon graduating, they want to get married to Beta Male Provider. No thanks . Off to eastern Europe. Chad and tyrone normally don’t have passport.

yeah, but then I think he married her in the end.

Kiss Gene Simmons is a good example

The only practical solution I can think of is simply not moving in with her or vice versa.

Hi guys unfortunately the advice in this video doesn't work in a legal sense in most Western countries. In Australia, for example, if you are living with a woman for a certain time period you will become a "de facto" couple, especially if you have children, and will be treated by the law as if you are legally married, and she can be entitled to half of your assets. The de facto laws mean that simply not getting married doesn't solve the problems described in this video if you want to have kids, unless you move countries :( If anyone has a solution to this problem please let me know!

Alan M

Oh no, come on Phuong. A woman's fertile years are only a value to her as long as there is a man in her life during that time, Yes, it is unfair that a man typically has to pay alimony after the couple is divorced. In what other contractual relationship is a party ever required to keep paying once the contract is terminated? You say she pays by the time she can never get back. By that logic, I should still get paid from my former employer for whom I worked nine years. After all, the time I spent serving drinks from behind his bar, I could have spent cultivating a career as a rock star or oil baron or pro football player and made lots more money than I did as a bartender, right? I can never get that time back.

Any failing marriage is a fatal failure for both sides, and you all know building a marriage (which supports to be a strong companionship) base on insecurity and doubt is never a solution. And you guys should stop bitching and moaning about how unfair it is when it comes to divorce. An older man could always start again with a young woman, but being an older woman with packages and kids is hard to start again. You already take away her fertilities years and youth, so it is the right thing to support her. She already pays for her failure marriage by her time and fertilities years that is never taken back. You just need to pay some bills, and you start moaning already

That is an awful state of affairs, Andrew. However, and I hate to say it, I don't blame you.

The fact that we even need to discuss this and carefully strategize around marriage tells us how shitty times men live in now. I just turned 29. I NEARLY married a girl when I was 27. Now I know that I didn't know shit. I wasn't prepared and I didn't even consider the cost of a potential divorce. I'm happy to still be single 2 years later. I don't want to give away this control.

In other words, absent marriage’s public dimension — absent the juridical control of father over wife and children — then nothing is *common.* Everything is an individualized creation. There is no order to the world. I published a short essay about this years ago at Ricochet.com: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kzLdwUplmX1rlNLTIFo2bKzcqfSQWvwtoVuxUFDVAgU

Robert

As Nietzsche predicted a long time ago, reduce marriage to just “love” and society simply abolishes the institution of marriage. (“Skirmishes of an Untimely Man,” in Twilight of the Idols).

Robert

There's about to be an entire generation of bastards!

The Mra's tried that and failed, also women will not give up the privileges feminism has given them, it goes against their hypergamy, they won't downgrade willingly

Dont bring her here, a US passport is very valuable, and women will marry American men and divorce them for it, if your really looking to do this, go over there and don't come back.

Coach, Now your starting to understand the basics of Mgtow, Mgtows aren't cowards, the risk is too great, and society is very gynocentric, and feminism did this and feminism is why you can't change the laws. You have to walk away.

I have decided to find an emotionally healthy and happy woman overseas. The problem is that the only way to get her into the country is by applying for a K1 visa and marrying her. I would like your feedback on this coach.

Feminism got started by women and with no doubt will end by women too . Getting women to see what it is they stand to gain when they adopt red pill way of living is the way out of this nightmare. Women’s nature will not change that’s biology , but the current state of affairs in 2019 is making everybody miserable . Men and women alike . Out of control malicious women are truly a small minority that managed to create huge damage in our societies .It’s time to get women to stand up and speak up ! And this time for the right cause .

This coach. This is it.

Start a business and start funneling income through it, incorporate it so its a separate entity from you. Progressively lower your income over a few years and then leave. She won't be able to touch your corporate income as your income statements will only reflect your personal earnings. As a man you have to be SMART and evade these laws, it is sad state of affairs but there's ways to screw her right back if she tries to stick her filthy hands into your pockets.

Coach, let me tell you about my story. I got married at 23, my wife was 20 and hot at the time. We ended up having two kids and after 6 years of marriage she decided to become a lesbian, cheat on me left and right and now I am stuck paying support for years. I would never in a MILLION years recommend marriage to young men these years as a man of 36 having experienced this. The laws need to change, women need to be CONTROLLED and punished not rewarded. Then and ONLY then would I ever recommend marriage, women must be kept under control or they will abuse and take advantage of men.

What if the guy is now foolishly married. What is the best way to fix this? Grit the teeth and bite the bullet OR go plan a divorce? If there is a kid involve into this, I wonder what is the gain with the divorce (repaying child supports to a life-long enemy you established). I guess the conclusion in the video is really the only way out - stay in marriage but keeping the women in the bubble - keeping her, the relationship itself, insecured. Pay the bills, keep her fed, and that’s all about it.

Another Zeitgeist video! Any thoughts about legal issues concerning getting married not in the West (i.e. Eastern Europe), such as attitudes towards divorce, or out-of-country child support?

Thanks for another video Coach. Would be interested in videos on social calibration and fitting into social groups you aren't accustomed to!

I've been dating my girlfriend for 3 years and I come to the same conclusion. I feel like you just verified my conclusion. I've noticed the same thing about our culture and how there's no benefit to men to get married. My girlfriend keeps pressuring me to get married. I just don't want to because I know in the long term it makes me her slave.

Hi Coach, can you get a married in a country where the laws are not anti-male like Thailand? Of course, we should not get married in the western countries and western Europe as they are anti-male areas. Does your advice in re-thinking marriage video apply to countries that are not anti-male like Eastern Europe? So, we should not get married regardless if the country is anti-male or not or whether the country is a western or non-western country? Thanks man!

You are right coach, especialy if you marry a damaged woman who becomes lazy and fat .. and dosen t give a s**t

Coach, what are your thoughts if a guy just decides to leave the country if he's bombarded with huge child support and legal fees?

Hahaha! Chad and Tyrone, for sure you are MGTOW channels now coach. You know they are right, this is the next step? Go your own way gentlemen. Lawyer drops red pill truth on divorce, recommends MGTOW https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDShOS90nyI

StringerBell

If you get married... MARRY UP. NEVER MARRY DOWN. If the woman has an equal amount to lose marriage is much much safer.

I have seen my Dad have to halve his million euro business to pay my alcoholic mother in a divorce payment. She got a 300k house , 100k rental property and cash of 50k. And my mam regularly talks about her regret of not getting more money. She is unemployed as well.HOWEVER , my dad got married again to a yoga instructor 😂 Hot af but she is mega rich. Her house is worth one million euros and she has assets.

Any news on the book Papa Yoach?

impregnate a virgin but dont marry and keep her insecure

Dream another dream men.

Thank you, Coach, for the message that you have presented here. You already know that I am one of your biggest fans/supporters that always vehemently opposed your message when you used to tell these young guys to get married and have kids. I am glad that you see it the way that I had always presented. Now do not get me wrong, I am not necessarily opposed to marriage and possibly kids when you marry a woman from the Eastern bloc like Estonia, Ukraine, Poland..etc. I am 100% opposed to these guys trying to do it with a bird from the West...Like Canada, USA, England, Australia..etc The problem is just like you said...the man will essentially get bent over by the courts and society if she decides to leave him. She has the complete power from the courts and he will be sorry. I have way too many friends that went this way and are living in misery, extreme debt and frankly, some want to commit suicide. I have seen what the family courts have done to them and clients. It is also very difficult to trust these women in the west (Esp USA & Canada) because they will often try to lock down the "financial provider" and have Chad/Tyrone on the side. I know this with 100% certainty since I have been Tyrone Chad many times in the past. One trick they will do is put Chad's number in their phone but list it under "Jessica...." So the common-law/ boyfriend will see Jessica and not think anything of it...Esp if she has a list of female friends. She will be with Tyrone on a Sturday night and tell the common law that she is going on a "girls night out." Then while Tyrone is pounding her, the common law will call and she will put her finger to her mouth to say shhh to Tyrone..Then take the call and tell the common-law that she is just leaving the bar and going to another one or a house party. He foolishly believes it and she resumes getting pounded. She will also have her girlfriends cover for her by picking her up but dropping her off at Tyrone's hotel. Anyway, the point here is that these guys really need to be aware of the Western world that we live in and not look at it with rose coloured glasses. I do also have to somewhat disagree with you on the kid part because he will still suffer if he has a kid with a girlfriend and she takes him to family court..wife or not. Whether these boys like it or not, this is the Western world in 2019. Btw..the Child Support money is not always spent on the kid. It is often spent on things like purses, clothes, trips and things that she wants...Often the kid comes last...I know because I have also seen such cases.

Hi Coach, what about marriage contract?

I grew up in a fundamentalist religion (Jehovah's Witnesses) where there were tragic consequences to divorce for both the man and woman. The price was shunning (which they call disfellowshipping). That is, if you get a divorce, everyone you know in the religion is forbidden to talk to you for the rest of your life (which could even mean all your friends and family). To make matters worse, God will just forget about after you die. No after life for you. You do have a chance to repent after maybe 2 years or so (long process). The one and only grounds for divorce is infedelity. Apart from that, you can only choose to temporarily separate from you spouse, and in that time, you are not allowed to see anyone else. Basically divorce is NOT an option. This seems harsh to the outside world but it makes perfect sense to them. Not only do they believe it's in line with the Bible, but it gives the couple a huge incentive to make their marriage work and the best they can be. Because really there is no easy way out and there's no finding someone else. Having left the religion in my adult life for over 10 years, all of these problems people have keeping a marriage together still really surprises me because it's so different from what I know.

Guitaro 5000

Fuck, I'm 29 and it turns my world upside down. In a good way.

damn coach ... I really wanted to belief that marriage was still a think to look forward, reality is just harder and harder isn't ?

Why did my comment disappear?

Guitaro 5000

I didn't marry my son's mother, but my mistake was not being registered at the same adress as her when he was born, if I was I would automatically have had "parental rights" as they call it here in Norway. We split up when he was 1 year old. He has been my no.1 priority always. I had to go through 18 months of court meetings to get visitation up to 10 days a month. Now I pay her a ridiculous amount of child support even though she owns her big apartment, has more education and can earn more, gets lots of state benefits etc. And she is constantly on facebook with her militant feminist friends talking shit about me and how they are all so opressed etc (I don't give two shits about that though). I'm sure the stereotypical deadbeat dad exists here and there, but any normal man will never be happy about not seeing his kids.

Can a marriage with prenuptial agreement be a good alternative or have crafty lawyers found away around that?

Losch

I'm happy you reconsidered, CRP. I wanted a wife and family like any "healthy man" but I realized it wasn't worth it after watching all my friends get divorce raped this year and last. Divorce has virtually no consequences for women. In addition, the culture has shifted to the point that women are encouraged to divorce if she's unhappy for a brief period of time. There is absolutely no upside for men. This is the kind of red pill content I appreciate b/c it's the truth, not feel good BS. Great video as usual, CRP!

Sad but true. that was my experience the wife just got bored

spot on.

My life long dream has ben to have family of my own. As time goes by more i learn how humans are more i learn about humans more i learn to hate them. and hate life as it is.

"With Chad or Tyrone" 😂

First