CRP Patreon Exclusive: “It’s Better To Be Feared Than Loved”

I always inspired fear and indifference to people, turns out is one of my valuable personal assets.

In the immortal words of Teddy Roosevelt, "If you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow."

I would say if you find someone that's willing to put themselves down, don't intervene. My reasoning is I met several people who have and got frustrated trying to play therapist and then remembered that I always pulled myself of that way of thinking by books and videos. You can do it yourself with the internet. Anyone that wants to change, will. So if people want to be doormats walk right over them; they put themselves there.

Excellent Avatar. I wonder how many people know who that is!

Women, if anything, are more acutely aware of social hierarchies. Remember, they are biologically wired to desire the leader of the pack which means a hypersensitivity to relative social capital. In my experience, women in work settings are very aware of who the weak individuals are, and you will see amazing differences in their behavior accordingly. Some women elevate bitchy pettiness to an art-form and you will see the most brazen disrespect towards the men they figure they can get away with disrespecting. It's very important to stand up for yourself instantly if slighted. The concept of honor is a masculine one predicated on strength and discipline; women in contrast really will take full advantage of weakness if allowed. However, in the current working environment being assertive and setting boundaries can lead women to claim a "hostile" environment. They really do have men over the barrel. Some farsighted men might figure that they simply can't survive as assertive men in certain female dominated environments.

People who can't or won't inspire fear have no boundaries. People who have no boundaries will betray to people who care about them in favour of shitbags who take advantage of everyone.

To earn your child's respect is necessary but if your child literally fears you, that seems to me like it would cause irreparable damage.

Tomek

What I would find interesting is how the situation is with women. I work in a women dominated workplace and it would be quite interesting to hear your take.

Does this apply to parents - child relationship as well? Should child fear/respect the dad?

Loved the video, but I wouldn't put down someone weaker just because, there had to be some reason for that, otherwise that's just bullying

Then you must not miscalculate.

Coming from a man who was bullied by his father and claims to hate bullies with a passion. Your advice to basically bully weak people for your own social benefit is very disappointing. Terrible advice bullying someone weak won’t make others not try you, it’ll invite scorn disdain and disrespect. Especially if you miscalculate. And choose the wrong target. You even said in the video that people mistakenly think others weak.

I am Mexican and once while traveling I met an American guy with some Mexican ancestry. We agreed that in both cultures you can't show weakness as a man, you have to stand for yourself cause no one else would do for you, otherwise the rest of men will eat you alive. I know the situation is a bit more relaxed in Western Europe, but probably not in Eastern Europe. Once I came across with a term in Malcolm Gladwell's book "Outliers", where he describes such societies as Cultures of Honor, where you can't let your reputation be stained not even a little bit, so you had to protect it against the most insignificant violation be it with violence or any other mean. Of course I don't advocate violence but I think this is true for both Mexican (probably Latin as well) and American societies, obviously to different extents in each one of them.

one of your best videos! 👌

There is a scene out of the movie, "A Bronx Tale" Sonny was asked "Is it better to be loved or feared?" He says, "That's a good question. It's nice to be both, but it's very difficult. But if I had my choice, I would rather be feared. Fear lasts longer than love."

It's best to be both feared and loved

🤝🤝🤝🤝

I should also point out that going after the weak does nothing for you socially other than cast you as a bully -- one needs to be strong and willing to take on anyone -- even if that means you get the short end of the stick -- people respect someone who is willing to go down swinging rather than take BS -- thats all you need to do is show people you are willing to meet the challenge -- most people are afraid to get into it -- afraid they will look bad -- afraid others will learn they are all bark and no bite -- if you cant handle yourself physically -- join an MMA gym - work on yourself physically and mentally -- at least develop some confidence that you have some ability to stand up for yourself --

I agree one needs to project strength -- esteem -- a physical presence -- not putting up with shit whether it is direct or passive aggressive -- But being feared is a different animal -- yes it will keep people in line -- but there is a balance -- if one focuses on being feared they stand a good chance at being like CRP's father -- alone -- and very much unloved -- Ive stood on both sides of this fence -- being feared and being respected -- and learned they are 2 totally different things -- Its like a cobra -- beautiful creature -- but you mess with it and its game over --

It's old but a lot of poor people still don't get it. Gonzalo touches up on older topics now and again.

Should pick the strongest one , right

Lol good one. Personally, I'd tell them to fall in line or kick rocks bitch!

How they can fear me when my face looks like a tadpole?

Go out in the world and do some activities/projects/jobs and get experience in being disrespected. Soon enough you will learn how to be assertive/feared, by necessity.

This is so True.

Oh no, love is very real.

I don't know if not caring about love makes people love you. I think love is mostly non existent.

It's not about being violent. It's about hinting that violence is definitely a possibility if they misbehave...

My old man is the boss of a large company feared by all his employee , his presence get things done smoothly. Me on the other hand grow up with people respect and bowing to me but i know it's just because i am the son of the boss. Now i dont know how to keep people in line through fear because i was never put in that situation where i have to be a SOB and personally i never really enjoy being feared. Can you teach me how to intimidate or at least be feared

I love this - so subtle but it is so true. Another unspoken true yet again being spoken by GL ... Such impression can actually make people more agreeable to you in so many things ... Hate to say this but GL you are sooo damn right in sooo many things.

Everything is situational—there is no single formula for every interaction.

No, once that reputation for being weak is established, it’s impossible to change it.

How does that intimidating the weakling part stack up with the « Never punch down » video ?

It's true about picking on the weak one in the group. I was for many years the weak one but not these days thank god!

I laugh because this is so true. In my work place all the time when you show a little bit of kindness you are......fkd.

You mentioned in a video before that Coach Red Pill was a stupid name but when you speak I take a knee.

Totally agree on this. Has taken me many years to understand this. Do you think you can fix an ongoing relationship where you are already the "nice guy" looking to be loved? To establish respect in a relationship where you are already in a position of seeking to be loved?

This is old. Why is it being put up as new?

This episode is meaningfully intricate. GL doesn't mean that you walk down the street puffing your chest and being impudently rude to people. You've got to show people that you have what it takes to stand up for yourself if need be by subtly showing your strength. It takes a high level of hands-on experience in dealing with people to cotton on the message GL is trying to convey in this video.

There is a video on YouTube called "When People Confuse Kindness With Weakness"

I can't agree on picking on the weak one, but the rest of the video absolutely yes!

I think is called first impression bias

Stefan Royleo

Wasnt this already up on youtube? Or something? I feel like ive seen this before.

Coach for the weekly webinar, can you discuss alternatives to college?

For girls all we care about is loving and being loved 💕. For men yes ! I love guys how is feared and he doesn’t fear anything! Thanks my type a man made of stone of you feel me 🤣😉

Long Live Gonzalo!!!