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MASSIVE Story Update (by Alex)

Dear Insane Children, 

We are prepping for a live stream on my YouTube and Twitch Channels at 10AM HKT (about two hours from when I am posting this). But I wanted to get this post out before that... so we might discuss some of what is contained within it. 

youtube.com/americanmcgeeofficial

twitch.tv/americanmcgee

As mentioned previously, I've been working with Alex on the Alice: Asylum Narrative. And we're making good progress. There are lots of back and forth notes we're making - and Alex thought it would be interesting to share some of that along with the work we're doing. 

I'll let Alex take it from here: 

Narrative Update (from Alex)

Hey everyone,
Alex here with an update on movement and news within the Alice: Asylum project.

For those who are new or who don't know me, my role within this project is Project Manager, Narrative Co-Writer, and Lead Designer on the Alice: Asylum Design Bible.
I also draw stuff within the art team occasionally.

This is a LONG and detailed post, so grab a cup of tea and come on a journey through the wonders of pre-production with me.

If reading super long posts isn't your thing, scroll to the bottom, and I'll give you a TL: DR version. 

Is that tea ready?

Let's get into it.

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1. Initial RAGE and HYSTERIA Mechanics Rationale

-------What follows are notes pulled directly from an exchange between American and Myself recently in the Narrative Outline document. (More on the Narrative Outline in this post below).

REFERENCE NOTE B)
NEW RAGE MECHANIC REFERENCE NOTES 

Alex:
I have an idea about "Rage" and "Hysteria." We already have outfits and distinct looks for both states.
I propose: We introduce a new "rage mechanic" here.
Like the "Hysteria" tutorial before it in Slumber #2, this serves as a tutorial for "Rage." Positioning gameplay as a story transition between scenes.

Rage Mechanic Rationale:
In Madness Returns, what I didn't enjoy was that Hysteria was so cool, but if you played the game well and skilfully, you could play the whole of Madness without ever seeing the "Hysteria" state, given it only triggered if you were close to death. And it's an awesome and iconic look.

In Asylum, I propose that 2x "Special" states are included in the gameplay. "Hysteria," as is, triggers close to death for powerful clutch saves.
"Rage" is triggered the opposite way. It is a reward for skillful players who can continue combat unscathed, building a "rage" meter by successive combos and hits, dodges, and killing enemies without getting struck themselves.
Once the player is hit, the meter diminishes or is returned to zero.
For balancing, I'd believe once both states are encountered in-game, the player can freely "choose" which state they want to be able to trigger.
One of the other for how they want to play.
"Hysteria" most likely for noobs who get smacked a lot. "Rage" for skilled players who can build the meter successfully.
"Hysteria" a life-saving clutch option when close to death.
"Rage" is an attack buff and limited "super-state" bonus that the player triggers at will once the meter is full. Meter fills by successful and skillful gameplay (killing enemies/precision hits). Depletes by getting stomped.

American:
Sounds good to me.

-------

More to come as this takes shape.
Thoughts?

Yay or Nay on introducing Rage as a triggered state instead of via the Rage Box in AMA (2001)?
What should it look like? Do we rename it?


Sound off in the comments.

2. Update on Story and Writing

In working as a co-writer on Asylum, I assist American in creating the story he is trying to tell in the Narrative Outline.

At time of writing, the outline sits at around 40 pages.
We expect it will go to around 60 pages to complete the Asylum story.

While I've been working on getting the DB to its current standard over the last few months, American has been working on the story, mostly solo, up until recently. 
I'd been involved in narrative calls, discussion, and ideation, but not so much sitting down and actually writing for a while.

This was interesting in that it allowed me a chance to jump back into the story after the DB work, granting me a new perspective as a reader.

And after reading it fresh, it raised a few flags for me.

I jumped on a call with American, and he suggested giving me time to review, compile, and provide constructive feedback to refine the story.


I've now done that, and we're beginning work on reviewing and actioning all those notes this Friday morning.

Our mantra on this project really is; "If you find a problem, be sure to come back with solutions."

In any creative process, anyone can raise flags or say something has issues.
What matters is how these quirks are fixed or dealt with.


We want solutions. Not more problems.

After going back and thoroughly reading and then re-reading the story, I understand the messages American is trying to get across.
I feel he's touched on some exceptional and beautiful moments in Alice's story.

There's something really wonderful on those pages. When coupled with all the artwork in the DB, its magic.

But we both agree we need to iron out some jagged edges.

The story is ambitious, but I believe we can pull this off.

As a reader, when you find yourself "reading the story" when we share it again, a word of advice;


I needed to digest the story in pieces to appreciate it fully.

When we share the next pass on the story document, I want to advise people to try and read it; in sittings.


With breaks. As if they were playing a video game. Allow yourself time to digest.

Don't speed-run it as I did.

I never felt any concern by reading the same narrative outline, alongside all the beautiful artwork, when presented in the design bible.


There was added pacing, structure, and flow. And that's how it will eventually be presented as the intended finished format.

We share "Work in Progress" here. So please keep that in mind if you find yourself reading the updated Narrative Outline text document soon.

I don't want to raise cause for concern by sharing my thoughts openly and honestly here.
This is what we signed up for. There's work to do, and we intend to do it to the best of our ability.

All the same, the top priority that American and I both have within our workflows is finishing the story.


We will refine and tie the threads within the story to make it as cohesive, smooth, and enjoyable of an experience as possible.

There's no harm in trying to make it the best it can be. So we're all going to try to do that together with your help.


Here's an update on where this is all heading;

-----

3. Work To be done with the Story

As of yesterday, American and I now have a large list of itemized things to discuss, then action in the writing.

A brief look at some of the points we're considering:

OVERALL NOTES AND POINTS TO CONSIDER ACROSS ALL STORY

1. More dialogue to be introduced and applied where applicable. When a character is speaking, be sure to specify exactly who is talking in the script document.

2. More Shadow Alice encounters to be written into the story. Position her as an active Antagonist, not a "phantom to be followed." Dialogue, scenes, and appearance confirmations are open to discussion.

3. The Inner Child's learning experience is The Player's learning experience. The voice in that aspect needs to be made louder, clearer, and more on-point (focused on those concepts and story beats we know to be critical).

4. Weapons and item pickups to be confirmed and inserted into the Narrative at key points. Can be addressed, discussed, and actioned after or alongside the points above.

5. Character motivations need to be established before dialogue is written. Dialogue serves the character's agendas. Discuss, Check, Confirm for each character.

-----

Some of the points on the rest of our list are minor and take a few sentence tweaks to tidy up.

For instance:

(QUICK EDIT - LINE REMOVAL & REPLACEMENT
Brief: Remove the line "...just save Wonderland and go home!". An old line that is not relevant to story anymore. Rework to suite narrative direction.)

-----

Then, others are much more detailed and warrant further discussion.

(HATTER - Review ALL Comments on Page 23. 
Brief: Review highlighted comments, and confirm direction and understanding of Hatter as a character.

10a) Hatter's Character, his motivations and agenda. Review all notes on Hatter. He is a key figure in the second half of game.
10b) Rework the Naming Convention of "Pieces of the Champion". 
Confirm new name and suitable description for "Collectibles that allow Alice a way Home".
10c) Dialogue for Key Points Hatter needs to communicate. Prima Materia and Overcoming Learning Through Trauma. How is this communicated to Alice / Player?

-----

The focus now is landing on the best possible solution for these issues raised.

Once all that happens and the directions are agreed upon, the new writing in the Narrative Outline re-commences. 
We'll share more of this with you all as it goes when its ready.

In the spirit of sharing openly, here are some key reference notes we have agreed upon that help guide the current narrative.

-----

With things like this here, without other context, I'm aware it might be a lot to take in for a fresh reader without reading the rest of the story.

We are also aware that any major edits can pose a "domino-effect," and changes can ripple through the entire story.

-----

REFERENCE NOTE A)
THE PLAYER ("Inner Child Alice") HER RELATION TO THE SHADOW, AND THE CONSEQUENCE OF THE STORY.


Alex:
There are 3x distinct "Alice's" in Asylum.
1. The repressed inner-child (player)
2. The Shadow (Antagonist / Alice's Darkness consuming everything)
3. The Adult we know (Alice Liddell, the one from A:MR and AMA, who is at risk of being consumed by her own darkness (2. The Shadow) and can only be saved by her innocence and inner-child (1.).

All gameplay takes place "within" the psyche of (3.). With real-world consequences for Alice's life depend on if (1.) or (2.) triumphs over the other.

American:
The idea is that after so many years inside Denial (Circus Realm), she's aware that something is wrong. That she's a prisoner. And that she wants to go home. She knows someone put her there but she's not sure who. And she's not even sure where "there" is. She knows she's a captive. And she MUST know she's captive - so that she has the motivation to escape. And it's important that our reader know that she knows this as well.

She does have questions to answer: Who is she? Where is she? Why is she there? How put her there? How to escape? Where's her family?

This stuff exists prior to the Vorpal Blade introduction. But the Vorpal Blade is like a key that lets her open the door to start the adventure and answer those questions.
Remember, Neo in the Matrix was already searching for Morpheus before he was pulled into the adventure. He was looking for "something" and he knew things were "off" but he wasn't entirely sure what he was looking for or what he would find.

-----

REFERENCE NOTE G)
SNOWGLOBE AND "PRISON TO SAFE HAVEN" RATIONALE - PAGE 28

Alex:
I feel Caterpillar could do some more plot explanation here. Child Alice is the last part of Alice that can stand against getting consumed by the Shadow. Everything else in Wonderland is at risk, or is already being turned / consumed by Chaos.
Child Alice is their last hope in the Darkness. Wonderland = part of Alice. Wonderland consumed by Chaos = all lost in darkness.
I feel that's what the Slumber encounters are preparing the Child for. To take on something only she can overcome, but she's not yet ready.

American:
Yes. The Snowglobe Wonderland was a jail in which they kept the Child. But then it became a sort of safe haven for what Wonderland used to be - a time capsule that survived while Real Wonderland was ravaged and destroyed all around it. In breaking open the Globe and releasing Child Alice into Real Wonderland, they are attempting a last-ditch effort to save Wonderland from Shadow Alice.

-----

With things like this here, without other context, I'm aware it might be a lot to take in for a fresh reader without reading the rest of the story.

We are also aware that any major edits can pose a "domino-effect," and changes can ripple through the entire story.

We're mindful not to be destructive. We want to solve issues, tie threads, and create worthwhile solutions to the intended story.

I'd ask if you have any suggestions regarding the writing in future; please keep that in mind.

As always, thank you for listening to my TED talk. I hope this fills your knowledge banks with movement and where some things are at moving forwards in this project.

I'll keep an eye on the threads, comments, and within the Discord.

As always, we're open to your feedback and input, and we're excited to get the work that needs to be completed done.

American and I both feel this is in a good position moving forward.
Let's get to work.

Cheers,
Alex

-----

Here's the TL: DR version if scrolled to the end of this bad-boy.

1. New Rage Mechanic Outlined. Sound good? Y/N

2. Story and Writing. Is now back as the top focus for American and Myself.

3. Work to be done. Writing issues are outlined, identified and scheduled to be discussed, then actioned. Expect updates as these become available.

******* END TRANSMISSION FROM ALEX


Alright, Insane Children, have a read through all of that... and join us in a little while over on Twitch for YouTube for the Live Stream. There will be PRIZES


From Shanghai with Love, 

-American

MASSIVE Story Update (by Alex)

Comments

This is a wonderful update! Work has kept me super busy so I’ve done a good bit of reading to catch-up and I must say that I am very pleased with the developments and significant amount of involvement from everyone! I actually had a small idea for another “weapon” which I’ll run by some folks in the Discord.

Nicholas Brokaw

Excellent idea, the Rage-Hysteria mechanics. About story, Even if changes occurs later, i believe it will be a good game. Is there still work on 'Oz', or is that temporary on hold? And what zbout the TV-series? Has it them occured to create.one of Alice (Asylum?).

Yay on having Rage as a triggered state in game along with Hysteria as a defense mechanism. Also, having the real world Alice be torn between this Shadow Alice and Child Alice sounds very interesting!

Greyson Kehm

incredible

This is in response to some moments in the most recent live stream. Shadow land = the dark well or mirror pool. Those are my thoughts. I think the dark well is especially fitting given the age-worn stone walls in that image and the black vortex in the sky. Emotive of a well. Being honest, I don't understand why literally everything needs to fit in to the "land" convention. Especially when I envision this as being more of an internal state than a place visited. More so than the other lands visited, it's more of a pervasive, insidious state of being that informs the whole of the work. RE: Mimic, Mimic --> Mimockery. A dark mockery or subversion of the truth. Nothing wrong with making up words.

truth_decay

I like that the rage/hysteria modes can just be triggered depending on how well/badly you are doing. I don't think you need to be able to choose, just have them auto trigger on those given conditions ^_^

Catheryn Alice North

Alternatively, maybe Inferno functions like both Hysteria and Rage but isn’t considered a perk as it has a much higher cost because it saves just as much as it hurts you (like fire). Maybe activating it is similar to the blood magic ability in Dragon Age; where you increase your power but it saps your health. It could either be slowly draining but gives you increased weapon damage (which you could turn on and off); or activating it pushes you into low health like Hysteria but you also create a high damage attack like an Inferno. Either way it should be hard to activate by accident, such as by clicking in both thumbsticks or bumpers. Maybe the ability requires a collectable like an oil lamp that fuels the flame. I also really like the artistry of the image. It could also be hanging glass (either shards or stained glass tears like a weeping willow) since you don’t like the crystals.

I appreciate all the work you’ve put into your Ted talk (and the project in general)! I’m sure that it has helped all of us in understanding more about the story and its process (I’m also not one to talk given my comment lengths). I’m also aware of how much the domino effect can suck for rewrites so I’ll keep your comment in mind. I really like the Rage and Hysteria options, as it both helps and rewards all types of players and situations and how it functions like an unleashable fury. I like the idea of keeping both available, since the players ability would probably naturally select for one ‘special’ over the other and they’d still have access throughout of each character model. Also, if there is harder difficulties it would increase the likelihood of good players seeing Hysteria. It could also create an interesting edge in difficult boss battles if you can chain them together by being in Hysteria but you’ve also earned a high enough rage meter that you can activate it as well (coming “back from the brink” could be an achievement (or "hell hath no fury..."), if not, it's a nice dopamine hit).

I'm for inferno and a revamped hysteria mode if three is too many power modes. Maybe hysteria mode could be brought into gameplay or story scenes? Maybe in a desperate push against the chaos and trauma that young Alice has been thrust into? Or a way to escape any internal 'asylum' environments when everything's bearing down on her (or possibly adult Alice)? Or perhaps as a fighting element for young Alice when she realizes she's been tricked and has put the Jabberwock back together? Throwing this out there because having hysteria relegated to the 'help' mechanic wouldn't really solve the problem from it had in AM:R. Inferno also feels more thematically fitting for the story as a whole and could serve the same purpose as rage. I also just really love how it looks. Also that tree artwork looks amazing, would love to see a higher res version of it.

RedBreloom

I really think that the power up for this game should be "inferno" mode. The art for that is gorgeous and it would give this game its own characterized power up that the other 2 games don't have. As much as I like the idea of having all 3 perhaps we should settle on two? I also think that if "Hysteria" is in the game as well. Then perhaps it should be revamped somehow? Keep the initial color scheme of the original form but put a new spin on it make it new and fresh instead of reusing the original design. I do however live the concept of how they are introduced and im really enjoying seeing all of this behind the scenes of the writing and what not!

I like the word "Shard" as it suggests that the final object could be sharp or dangerous. Or "Fragment" as it suggests that the final object might never be completed. Thank you very much for sharing all of this with us, looking forward to more revelations.

I find the concept of Rage/Hysteria as being opposite bonuses (one to reward skill, one to help those struggling) quite interesting (and preferable to the predetermined rage box), but does it alleviate the initial issue of good players not seeing Hysteria? Additionally, does this leave a place for "Inferno" mode? I would rather see the third game have its own unique "powered up" form for Alice rather than reusing ones from prior titles, but would the game have room for three super forms?

I like the description of how rage and hysteria would work in this game. Thumbs up!

Anna Lepper

Oh, American? Is Rage still gonna be earned after beating Fire Alice? Because that makes a lot of sense to me.

Lucky Dragon ‘She.They’

I have more to say about narrative stuff, but I think I should wait until the stream and see what specifics you have to say.

Lucky Dragon ‘She.They’

The explanation of the Rage mechanic makes me think the combat will have an Arkham bent to it, which I honestly wouldn’t mind.

Lucky Dragon ‘She.They’

Love the concept of rage!

+1 on rage being triggered. Placement of rage boxes in Alice 1 is always a bit problematic, and you're forever wishing you could carry one to the next big threat or something. I love the idea of having both options available, for either when you're doing well or when you're doing badly.

Rosuav

I've never liked pieces of the champion. I think fragments would be a great word choice because it's nebulous, evokes the question "fragments of what?" That alone cpuld enhance the horror when we see "the champion" Jabberwock at the end of that mission.

Stephanie Groth

I love the concept of rage as a triggered mechanic for skillful players!!!!


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