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C_Mantis
C_Mantis

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Chapter 43

This is out last alt POV and a much darker one. Nothing explicit but its suggested.

This was a dark chapter that brought a lot of negative feedback. So at the suggestion of my Tier 15 pats I'm dropping 43 and 44 together. SO NO CHAPTER ON FRIDAY.

Chapter 43

Camilla watched the pair walk into the club. She was perched on a stool at the bar while she scanned the duo.

The woman was Elizabeth, preferred name Liz. She was tall for her reported age, but Camilla supposed that was normal enough. Especially with Tier 15 parents having perfect genetics to pass down. Her flame-red hair suggested a fire beast in her ancestry. Considering who called her niece, that wasn't surprising. The eyes were a bright yellow that had a sharpness to them. It reminded her of a bird.

She was stunning. Camilla tore her eyes away and focused on the person next to her.

The boy.

Camilla shuddered, but controlled the reaction. Instead she threw out a smile.

The boy was Matthew, preferred name Matt. He was tall, and surveyed the room with lustful eyes. He had sandy blond hair, and green eyes that she wanted to dig out with a rusty spoon.

She knew his type. Oh, she definitely knew his type.

When he looked in her direction, Camilla smiled at him. He returned it, and she wanted to vomit.

She braced herself. If she wanted out, she needed to put up with this for a single night.

Camilla would much rather choose Liz, as she was much more her type. She even caught her eyeing her up while she was observing the pair. It would be easy, and might even be fun. But the boy was an easier target.

Matt weaved through the crowd towards her position at the bar.

Camilla considered him, and resisted the urge to claw out his eyes.

They were so green.

Just like…

***

Camilla was the daughter of a pleasure house. Seven generations had worked in the establishment, and two of them were fortunate enough to catch the attention of someone strong. Strong enough that they were escorted to Tier 14.

One had even made it to Tier 15.

Camilla had mostly helped around the house, doing what the AI-controlled golems couldn't do. Mostly, she dealt with escorting people to and from rooms, or provided pleasant company to those that waited.

She was a cute young lady, with long, dark hair that contrasted well with her pale skin and silver eyes.

When she came of age, she was awakened, and allowed to start taking on work. She was excited. She could start making her own money.

Camilla was a simple woman. Her Tier 1 Talent even gave her special options that she found fitting for her line of work.

Tier 1 Talent: Any Pain is converted to pleasure.

It was a detrimental Talent, but with her new AI, Camilla didn't mind it. She just needed to be careful that she didn't let wounds linger.

She was able to accommodate a whole new branch of clients. Clients that paid much better than average. The Talent came with some problems, and odd sensations. Pain had flavors, and so did her new pleasure sense.

It took time to adjust to, but soon she was proficient enough to differentiate between pain pleasure and normal pleasure.

Her next year was entirely spent working. She even entertained a Tier 4 who was willing to protect her while delving, and give her all of the essence in a Tier 2 rift. Camilla was able to advance quite a bit in those few months of delving a Tier above her own.

She was happy then, and learned a lot about herself and her own preferences. One was her very strong preference for female clients over male ones. Soft over hard.

Everything came to a head when Duke Cumulus found her.

She was invited back to the Duke's manor by a retainer, and after spending an evening with him, she had caught the Duke's eye.

Camilla wasn't even aware of what happened until she returned home for the evening. When she arrived, she had barely had time to freshen up before the madam called her down.

She had a VIP waiting for her. She was shocked. VIPs were all Tier 15's or higher. Camilla had never entertained anyone higher than a Tier 4. She was young and weak. The madam kept their partners within a Tier or two to prevent any harm to the workers under her care.

But VIPs got more leeway.

When she arrived, she found the man waiting for her, and she instantly recognized him. This was his capital world for the duchy, after all. This was also one of only four cities with teleport pads. The city was prosperous enough for the man to visit with his flying island once a year or so.

He was polite, at least when she first met him. He didn't even invite her to a room, but simply talked to her. The Duke exuded charm. His golden blond hair and emerald green eyes seemed like they were trying to draw her into their depths.

Camilla wasn't naive enough to believe anything good would come of it, but when he left without incident, she put it to the back of her mind.

The next few days, she was tense, but nothing out of the ordinary happened. Within a week, she went back to her normal life. After three weeks, since the Duke had been gone for a while, she forgot about the entire incident.

Camilla was walking through a lower Tier, open-air market, when her body suddenly locked up, and her limbs started moving independently. It was like hands were controlling her, as if she was a puppet. She panicked for a while, but when she couldn't call out, and she started walking to a more secluded corner, she tried to use her AI to call for help.

To her horror, she found it unable to reach out. Something was blocking her outgoing connection.

That's when her panic escalated. She was trapped in her own body, and nothing she did had any reaction.

Camilla watched as she nodded, and even waved to her usual chatting partners. They seemed unable to notice anything off about her, even though Camilla was screaming internally that she needed their help.

She passed behind and in between an awning and a leaning temporary seller's stall. With mounting dread, she found her vision going dark while a rough cloth was shoved over her head.

Her ears stung as the opening of the sack had to stretch around her hair. The opening of the bag snapped snug around her throat, and Camilla found she had control over her body again. She tried to take a deep breath to scream and flail, but the bag cinched tight, and choked her until she saw dots in the dark bag.

Whatever had controlled her body had dissipated, but her muscles slackened and became unresponsive to anything but the slowest movements.

Camilla forced herself to remain calm, and tried to listen to her surroundings. But all she could  hear was her own breaths swirling around the bag, and her heartbeat thumping heavy pumps of blood.

She was only able to count the passage of time with her mostly useless AI. She was forced into a smaller container, where she couldn’t stretch out at all, and was forced into half-crouch. Even then, she was unable to properly control her body, and was slumped into an uncomfortable position.

The minutes ticked by, and Camilla watched as seven hours passed. They were the longest hours of her life. She was unable to hear, but could feel sounds and vibrations on her skin.

It was her only solace and company while she watched each second tick by. Tears and snot had long since dried on Camilla's face, and the pleasure of her legs cramping was adding more stress to her situation.

Camilla wanted to scream, but the mask forced her voice down.

When the bag was ripped off, the first thing she saw was a flash of a bright light, and shining green eyes.

Duke Cumulus.

"What..."

She was cut off with a backhand that shattered her jaw. It sent a wave of pleasure like she had never experienced before. The Duke's hand glowed, and the relief joined the diminishing pleasure from her jaw as she spat out blood.

"Ahh, my newest little whore." The Duke's cultured voice cut through her pleasure fogged mind.

This time, he gently caressed her face with the same hand that had broken it, and healed her.

Camilla tried to back away from the box she was in to keep her from retreating.

She didn't speak. She wasn't stupid, and wasn't going to give him the excuse of her speaking out of line.

Her AI may have been out of commission, but that didn't mean her brain was.

The Duke stood up, and tipped her out of the box with a foot. The relief of her legs finally being able to stretch was an added pleasure to her other converted aches and pains.

She found herself in a stone room that appeared to be what she could only describe as a torture room. It was almost familiar to her. They had a similar setup in the house. They had AI control so no one could get stuck, but she doubted that these would have such a feature.

The Tier 35 gave her time to survey her surroundings.

There was a translucent wall that let her see into a second room, separated by what she could only guess was a runic barrier.

"Do you like your new home?"

Camilla did not respond, and was kicked into the heavy wooden table. Her hip was shattered, and she couldn't feel her left leg.

With her broken body bent over the table, she saw a girl with golden hair look at her from the neighboring cell. Her eyes were so dull, that if the girl wasn't rocking back and forth with her arms wrapped around her chest, Camilla would have thought she was dead.

She had given up.

Is that what my future is?

When the healing energy washed through her and stopped the pleasure, Camilla's head was jerked back by the hair.

She was bent in an angle that would have broken something if she hadn't trained her body for flexibility.

"When I speak to you... You. Will. Answer. Do you understand?"

Camilla croaked out, "Yes."

He smashed his lips to hers, and Camilla learned what true horrors awaited her.

***

The next two weeks were awful. She was sure the Duke was enjoying his new play toy, because he spent every moment he had free in her cell. He told her that he wanted to learn about her odd Talent. He took utter delight in breaking her body, and watching her Talent turn what should have been debilitating pain into pleasure that sent her body into shudders.

She tried to talk to the woman next to her, but she ignored any attempt at communication. The girl even went as far as hiding behind her own torture table if Camilla persisted.

She refused to give up. There was a window with narrow bars, but it overlooked the forested part of the floating island she was captive on. If she stood on the rack of cutting implements, she could peek out of it.

There wasn't even any glass, but she could see the runes that blocked out sound. She could see freedom, and could even smell it, but her shouts and calls for help never escaped.

The other thing she had learned was that the bag that was placed over her head had a collar. It was fitted around her neck, and wasn't removed when Cumulus removed the bag itself.

She was pretty sure that the collar was what was stopping her AI from reaching out. But the metal was so strong, she was unable to even scratch it with the tools left behind.

Her second idea was to reach out the window and flag someone down, but the runes sent waves of electricity into anything that passed its threshold.

Still, Camilla hadn't given up. She spent her limited free time that wasn’t dedicated to sleep watching out the window. Eventually, she was able to catch a woman's eye. The woman had signaled  that she saw her, and was trying to find and free her.

I can hold out just a little longer—just one more day.

That was the mantra that kept her going. The only solace she found in these awful walls.

The woman had indicated that this was the day. She’d be freed, out of this torment.

Her mind spun with thoughts of how the woman would get help. Would she alert the Empire workers not under the Duke's purview? Would she stage a rescue on her own? Maybe she was a Tier 35 as well.

Camilla was full of hope, and that was all that kept her going.

The door at the end of the hall clicked, and joy bloomed in her chest.

Freedom was moments away.

The woman with teal hair poked her head in the door, and gasped in horror.

Finally, someone who will help me.

The weights lifted off of Camilla's heart.

"Hold on. I'll get you out of here." The woman had the voice of someone who sang, if Camilla’s guess was right. It was the voice of her savior. It was the sweetest thing she had ever heard.

Her savior tapped at the pad, and the runes blocking her off from the hall dissipated. Before she could stumble out, her savior scooped her into a hug.

Camilla let out a sob.

She was free.

Her chest was filled with glee as she imagined what would happen to the Duke when he was reported to the Empire.

The click of shoes in the outside hall brought her attention to the door, and she saw Duke Cumulus at the door.

She tried to call out in horror that she had doomed this woman as well, and tried to tell her to escape, but all that came out was coughs of blood.

Camilla was pushed out to an arm's length by the woman, and the Duke came up to them and kissed the woman passionately.

Camilla looked down, and found a dagger buried deep into her chest.

The woman fondled herself, saying in a husky tone, "I love the look of betrayal."

That's when Camilla knew she had been played.

This was the Duke's wife.

***

Camilla had been locked up for nearly a year and a half when she enacted her second escape plan.

The horror of being betrayed had caused her to spiral for months, but she finally had an idea. She was only Tier 2. Her Tier 3 Talent was her only chance at escape.

Any time the Duke or Duchess weren't in her cell, she cultivated ambient essence. She had learned a technique to use it, but it was far less effective than getting a patron to bring her through one of the city's low Tier rifts.

She knew it would take years to fix her cultivation base, but that was of a distant concern.

A full year later, and she had enough essence to complete a crunch. With it, she felt the energy rush through her.

The pleasure in her foot was forgotten, as she felt power rush into her limbs. She expected it to disappear in a few moments, like it had when she reached Tier 2, but it didn't.

On a hunch, she poked her finger on a sharp instrument that had been used on her not an hour ago. Strength rushed through her. She didn't know what the Tier 3 Talent did, but it would work.

It was perfect.

The Duke and his sick wife had spent hours with her, and taunted her that they were sad they would be otherwise occupied for the rest of the day. It was such a shame that their session would be cut short. Some sort of meeting of nobles, or something that she was hoping would keep them busy.

They always repeated that, because she enjoyed what they did to her, she was a willing participant.

Camilla pushed the thoughts away. It was easy after nearly two years of this.

She walked to the window and measured for one last time. Even with the minimal food causing her to deteriorate to almost skin and bones, she wasn't going to be able to fit through the bars.

Not without losing something.

She walked to the brazier with glowing coals still cherry red. She poked them until they sputtered to life for a moment.

Camilla shuddered. If she started this, she either escaped or died.

A small part of her whispered that she didn't have to run, but could just accept the torture.

With determined steps, she walked to the heavy cleaver that the Duchess liked to use.

She raised it with her dominant hand, and brought it around into her off arm. It took three chops to get into the socket and through the bone. Camilla fell into the glowing braiser, and felt a new pleasure added to the symphony in her side.

The handle of the cleaver shattered in her hand. Strength rushed through her limbs.

With singed hair and a missing arm, she awkwardly climbed to the window. She had practiced this, but she still slipped.

Her Talent may turn pain into pleasure, but that didn't mean losing a limb was easy on the body. Camilla twisted sideways, and the burned side scraped along the rough stone wall. With an effort of will, she pulled herself through the gap in the bar.

The pleasure of reopening her wound was only multiplied by the shocks that the runes lining the window sent out. They only added to her strength, and with quivering muscles, she pulled her way out the window.

She panicked when her hips got stuck. She had lost most of her curves in the last two years, but she still had an hourglass figure.

If my ass gets me stuck here, I'll just end it.

With ever-increasing panic, Camilla was able to wiggle out of the window by pressing on the outer wall. The shocks of the runes added to her enhanced power. Finally, she popped free, and fell thirty feet to the ground.

Something in her back broke, but she was free.

With stumbling steps, she found her rhythm and started running. From her view, it was a mile or more to the edge of the floating island. It was all wooded land, and she was banking on the trees hiding her from other's view. It was her only chance of preventing the two twisted Tier 35's from being able to rush over in a flash.

Her feet were unable to find a pattern, and she tripped more than once. Her long captivity and breakthrough to a new Tier made it hard to manipulate her own body. Still, with the pleasure from her injuries pumping power into her limbs, she quickly found the light at the end of the trees.

Without proper motor control, she was unable to stop, and tumbled out over the edge of the floating island. For what felt like an eternity, she fell.

The wind rushed around her and caressed her remaining limbs.

As Camilla fell, she laughed at herself for thinking there was any chance for her to survive her escape attempt.

They’ll probably just find a splat on the ground, and not pin anything on the Duke.

She twisted in the air.

She'd watch the end approach. At least this was on her own terms.

As she crossed the halfway mark, she screamed out, "Fuck you. You fucking sick, twisted bastard."

Anger and hate coursed through Camilla's blood.

At least I got out.

That was a comforting thought, and the one she expected to be her last, when she was caught up in what felt like a cloud that turned into a swimming pool. She was floating in the air, but it felt like she was in a pool.

Next to her, a man formed out of the water that she hadn't seen coalesce. He was large, almost seven feet tall if her guess was correct. He had piercing blue eyes that seemed to get darker the closer they got to his pupils. His hair was so blue, it was only possible after Tier 15, where the mind had control of the body. There was a long scar under his lip that reached down to his chin.

She knew this man.

Duke Waters.

Horror that he was a part of this churned her stomach.

"I'd ask if you’re ok, but the answer is pretty apparent. Who did this to you?"

With that, healing energy rushed into her, and she felt the pleasure retreat and the power fade. Her arm was still missing, but it no longer hurt.

She wasn't comforted. Healing always proceeded more torture.

The large man's eyes went to the collar around her neck, and wetness covered her throat. Suddenly, her AI was working after two years of being blocked.

Camilla did the only thing she could think of at the time, and sent the hero of the Empire every recording she had. She had kept every moment saved, just in case of a situation like this.

Now it's up to him. Is he as good as they say?

Camilla didn't dare to hope, but she had been raised on tales of this man's exploits and heroism. He protected the Empire. Would he protect her?

His face went as cold as his namesake, and they rocketed up.

Camilla wanted to weep. She had bet, and once again been wrong. He was going to return her. Maybe he'd even join in.

The thought made her shudder.

That was, until the Tier 31 next to her waved a hand, and a tidal wave that covered the sky crashed into Duke Cumulus's floating island. Camilla didn't expect anything to come of it. Duke Cumulus had boasted about how strong the defenses of his island were when he was pressing upon her the hopelessness of her situation, after his wife's sick gambit.

Contrary to her expectations, the wave popped the shield, and never even slowed down. In less time than a heartbeat, the island was gone.

Horror racked through her. How many did he kill in that attack? She didn't care about anyone, but the other four women that she knew were in the dungeon.

Once again, proving her wrong, people began surfacing, floating in a sea that was now hovering in the air. People were all that remained. All the stone and any other material that wasn't alive was simply gone.

Camilla saw four other women being pulled near them, and noticed the familiar collars on their necks. She only recognized one of them, but could guess who the others were.

Duke Waters made all the water vanish with a wave, and with its disappearance, all the people were gone.

She expected movement, but the man was still for a moment. Then, he looked up at a smaller floating island. With a roar that distorted reality, he called out, "CUMULUS!"

As the scream vibrated through the air, she would have sworn that she was miles below the water. It only lasted a moment, and suddenly they were moving so fast that the world burned. But their target was steady as they approached.

As they approached the smallest island, she expected the enraged Duke to fly equal with it and enter. Instead, he simply pointed a finger, and a jet of water cut a hole in the island.

They flew through it, and when they entered, she looked up and saw a large hall. They were surrounded by dozens of men and women that put pressure on her spirit just from being in their presence. The Tier 3 thought that she was going to suffocate, before the air shimmered around her.

She saw Duke Cumulus and his wife standing there, watching her and the man next to her.

She wanted to laugh. The horror on their faces didn't make up for even a thousandth of the torment they inflicted on her, but it felt good to see.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a large wall mirror, and found that her face was covered with a water mask that was ink black.

Duke Waters glared at the two, and before he could say anything, one of the other men called out, "What are you doing? This is an official meeting! You can break in here. And did you break Duke Cumulus' island?"

The man next to her didn't look at the speaker, and just said, "Duke Cumulus and his wife are guilty of kidnapping and torture. All compounded on doing this on a person weaker than themselves."

The two guilty parties turned in different directions and tried to run, but Duke Waters caught them in shimmering distortions in the air. They clutched at their throats, as if they were drowning, but they were over Tier 15. They didn't need to breathe.

Camilla glanced at the Duke next to her and shuffled closer, everyone was looking at her, and he was her only protector.

The same man from before called for Duke Waters to stop. After the man stepped forward, Duke Waters finally took his eyes off the pair who hurt her. His head was the only thing that moved, and whatever look he gave the speaker made them step back twice.

With a flick, the ruined table had an image flicker over it. There were images of the torture that Duke Cumulus had performed on her and her neighbor. Their faces were blurred out when they were visible.

Camilla didn't want or need to watch. She had lived through this once, after all.

The same man didn't want to back down and said, "This could all be a fabrication..."

He did not get any more out, as the Duke slashed out in the middle of his sentence. A crescent of water flew out and cut the man in half.

Duke Waters gestured, and brought the man forward and clutched his head. "Worry not Duke Osculation, I'll be checking your island next."

The half of a man disappeared, and Duke Waters looked around with eyes that screamed to Camilla of a tidal wave that could wash away the cities along the rift-free coast.

She saw the fear in all of the remaining faces. She wanted this power. If she could do this, she would never have to worry about someone snatching her off the street again.

His voice crashed out, and imprinted images of a tide breaking down cliffs. "I'll be inspecting everyone's islands before we leave. And I'll ensure that the Emperor does a thorough check of your lands."

With the gesture of a single finger, her two tormentors, who were still gasping in the air, were brought over to stand in front of her.

A second later, the other four were there as well, with matching masks of dark water.

Duke Waters turned to the five of them. "I leave it up to you. Their crimes constitute death a million times over, but we can cripple their cultivation instead. We’ll force them to break down and recreate asteroids for the next few million years, if that's what any of you wish."

The other girls just cowered, and all the eyes came to rest on Camilla, who was the only one not trying to hide.

Before she could do more than open her mouth Duke Cumulus said, "You enj..."

Before he could finish the statement she was sure would haunt her dreams, Duke Water's large hand lashed out and hit the man so hard, his jaw flew off and hit the wall. Clearly, he had watched the first part of her recording.

Camilla smiled for the first time in years.

"I'd love to have them suffer, but I don't trust them to not escape or something. Kill them." She looked to her savior, "Can you make it hurt?"

Where she expected a cruel smile to match her own, she saw just calm eyes, like a pond waiting for someone to jump in and enjoy a nice spring day.

Would he deny her request?

Then, the choking started to increase in sound, and Camilla watched the two drown in the air. For all the power they tormented her with they floundered like fish and not the Tier 35’s they were.

It was everything she had ever dreamed of.

She looked to her savior. She wanted to be like him.

Camilla needed power.

***

Snapping herself out of it, she smiled at the boy approaching her. She almost wished she had taken the selective memory wipe that the other four had taken. At least then, she wouldn’t see that monster in this boy’s face.

Duke Waters had asked her to join his niece and her partner.

She had begged not to, but after all her therapy and healing, the Duke still thought that she needed to be with people.

He had taken the time to train her, along with his wife, Medea. She was the scariest Leviathan she had ever seen, but she also was a kind woman who gave great hugs.

They had rebuilt her.

The strength Camilla had cultivated had fractured when she learned that the house of pleasure she was born, raised, and worked in had been destroyed. There were no survivors.

All to cover  Duke Cumulus’ tracks.

But, Duke Waters had not ordered her to come with him. They both knew she would do anything he asked of her. But joining a team... She didn't know. The fact that it was with someone who looked far too much like her abuser was more than she could accept.

So she struck a deal.

Duke Waters could vouch for his niece, and Camilla would never question him. But he didn't know the boy. If she proved that he was a monster like Cumulus, Duke Waters had agreed that she wouldn't have to join them. He would relent, and agree to let her set out on her own.

Camilla already had it all planned out. The pair's itineraries said that they would be leaving in two days. But after tonight, she would be off the planet.

She just needed to nudge things along.

The boy, Matt, she corrected herself, approached with lust and evil intentions in his eyes. He tried to hide it with a relaxed smile, but she could see it.

She played her part well, pretending to be interested, and when he invited Camilla back to his room, she knew she had her ticket out.

They were in a temporary hotel that rented out by the night.

How classy.

Camilla sneered at how cheap this idiot was.

She pushed into him, and after they fell to the bed and their kissing became more passionate, she waited for his hand to start creeping down to her ass.

When he had a good handle, she sprung her trap. She could feel that this was the time.

With her best simpering voice that she had practiced for clients in a previous life, she said, "I don't think I want to do anything."

She knew what would come next, the begging, the excuses, the pressure. She would give in and let him take what he wanted. Then she would be free to leave.

The hand on her ass removed itself. She expected it to move, and for more force to be applied. He, like Cumulus, would take what he wanted. A part of her wondered if he was a bastard of the monsters in human form.

Instead, Matt rolled onto his back, saying, "That's fine. Do you want me to walk you back to your room? I'm not sure where you’re staying, though. I can leave you here and leave the room if you want. It's already paid for too, if you’re worried about that."

Camilla froze, not knowing what to do. This wasn't how he was supposed to act.

He was supposed to act like a client that didn't get his way, or a beast who took what they wanted.

Maybe he's faking?

The thought bolstered her, and she tried to give him a second chance to take her by snuggling into him.

He didn't do anything, and while he had an arm wrapped around her as she was laying on it, his hands didn't wander.

A few moments later she heard a light snore. She poked him, and after scrutinizing his face determined that he really was asleep.

Well, Fuck. What do I do now?

Comments

I think this POV is really out of place with the rest of the story especially the recent chapters. Everyone so far has put a huge emphasis on seeking help and handling mental health issues only for it to be largely ignored this chapter. The fact that mental health is on the forefront of lots of people's mind I can't see how Duke Waters could even suggest that she enter a situation that would make this girl that uncomfortable let alone let her perform a test that could end up with her willingly being sexually assaulted. The first part was well written and accurately portrayed the back story of a potential new party member while the last part was a feat of mental gymnastics that doesn't really make sense in the context of the characters or their world.

Zadumu

Maybe tell half the amount of backstory, condense it or something but switch back to Matt’s POV at the end so we understand her back story and what’s going on but he doesn’t?

Wow, helluva backstory

Bobby B.

My problem with this chapter isn't how dark it is, but that it's an entire chapter basically about nothing. Maybe it has some small way of setting up the party for the future story, but the way it was done was still basically all fluff. To reiterate, my problem with this chapter is not the alternate POV nor the dark nature of it, but the fact that it's basically all fluff.

Cam

They don't like it either. Make sure you read the next chapter that was also released today.

GeneralTusk

I would really like some men in this party. Author says this is not harem but... Matt and Liz are starting something. Aster was said that will love MC... Camilla... Her story is too heavy for me, but it all goes about sex. Personally I'm not interested in polyamory so even if it goes that route and not harem I'm still droping it. Also ... Am I the only one pissed that they decided to add to their party without asking them? They have new party that is working for them, but they still need time to get to know each other. They don't have to want to add anybody. Some person chosen by someone else, with unknown skills and many, many, MANY psychologicals problems? Even if she was first person from the street they can just not work together. Making them take her into the party just becouse someone decided that is making me angry.

Raven

Interesting! I bet she falls asleep, too.

J S

That moment when your plan fails so spectacularly that you're stuck to a sleeping man.

M van Dongen

To everyone screaming about a harem, it’s possible for there to be multiple female characters and it not be a harem. Maybe leave your prejudice at the door and allow for a story to have multiple female characters without you, the reader, immediately reducing them to sexual objects. He says it isn’t a harem, so move on.

Brandon Baier

She needs healing, and that's why Waters suggested she work with people he knew to be good people. They'll help her learn to trust again.

GuyWhoReadsALot

A harem is a polyamorous relationship, but not the other way around. One man and two women (who are both bisexual) isn't a harem but is a polyamorous relationship as long as the women are in a relationship with each other. And from how Camilla is written, she is a lesbian or a bisexual with female preferences so if there is going to be a harem then the center is going to be Liz.

Alex R

I'm aware that people are screaming 'harem! Bad!', and I'm equally aware that the author has put up a really strong defense of 'Does the thing I've been writing for the past year Look like a harem?'. And it's true, the author hasn't been writing that kind of story. That said, I'm aware that some people don't consider polyamourus relationships to be harems, and that this is at times used to a simliar, if not identical effect. I myself would consider these two to be the same thing, and I suspect that others would also view it in this light. So, umm, I know that you've heard this in almost every comment so far, but please don't do that.

I hope she does not join the team, in combat implicate trust in your companions is an absolute must and this kind of manipulative behavior is a big red flag.

Katarak

Who said she's on the path? Also, C. Mantis clarified some things on Discord that I presume will be included in the story in the next chapter or two.

Termac

So long as they don't get romantically or physically involved it will probably be fine. Mantis has a good track record of avoiding bad tropes. Besides maybe it will be Liz that saves her, or Aster.

GeneralTusk

This is a bad idea. Do not put in the nice guy saves the emotionally damaged rape victim trope. Seriously it is a bad trope and makes any story it is in complete shit.

Frardowin

Concerning Camilla being on The Path. I’m surprised she is considered to still be on it. It sounded like she was escorted through a Tier 2 rift at Tier 1 which to me would take her off The Path (at least my understanding of it as that seems like outside help). Also she is was only Tier 3 at the end of that story and they are Tier 5 is that allowed on The Path I remember something about that not working under the rules. Just curious why the Duke would even suggest she join Liz’s team. Second, I kind of agree a chapter before this one kind of setting the stage would help it not feel so out of place or jarring. Last, some the paragraph transitions don’t feel as fluid as normal to me. Not sure if you rushed the chapter or you weren’t comfortable with the subject matter and didn’t give as much of an edit as usual. Will add specifics when not on my phone.

Matthew Robinson

The story needed a cannonball. Things were going too smoothly. Camilla's introduction forces them out of their comfort zone and will force them to adapt.

GeneralTusk

I kinda agree this just comes out of nowhere and just cannonballs into the story

Jeff Gaebler

Good chapter. Not sure how I feel about someone else joining the party. I like the party size being a trio and nothing more. But I am sure it will be fine since the story has yet to let me down.

Clay Smith

yeah this could have been pushed a chapter to the right (maybe it will be). Also they went back to a motel. She comments hes cheap for it.

C_Mantis

1. I get what you mean. I made it DW as to remove that as hes already known to Liz but i under stand that. 2. This isn't a harem. I get other stories do that but I feel like 200k words in it should be obvious that isn't this story. 3. This is meant to be off putting, she went through bad things and its meant to show the Empire tries its not all sunshine and rainbows. 4. That wasn't my intention, he did what anyone should do, nothing special there. She just thinks he will/ would as she projecting a lot of pain. Matt gets zero credit for being the savior imo. 5. I can see what you mean and that's why we are going to a new area to get away from all of that.

C_Mantis

I like the chapter. The Dark elements honestly fit perfectly with the world as we have seen it so far, and for humanity as a whole. What really bothered me though was the sudden jarring change. In the last chapter he was going to bed cuddling with Aster. Now they are suddenly in a club on another world that seems like the pair just suddenly walked into a sex club. It is also not entirely out of place for Matt to bring a girl back to his room, it has happened before. It just seems so random and out of place. It would have been a lot less jarring if you released a chapter about why Matt Liz were there THEN this chapter. Nothing in the chapter feels out of place for the world. I quite like the world building. The sudden shift was just so jarring that I went back through the last few chapters trying to find references to Camilla thinking I missed something or skipped a chapter.

Ian Gaston

Sooo.... Im really not sure I like this for multiple reasons. 1. Adding another person to the party with ties to a powerful figure seems just too coincidental. 2. Another female with (that is vulnerable with trust issues) joining matts party it really is starting to look like a harem. I was actually hoping th 3. Not sure how i feel about the torture background. As a reader it is very off putting. 4. It puts Matt on a pedistal for just having basic decency. 5. It seems like something else happening just because Matt knows Liz. The story is really starting to be about Liz and Matt is just the Lens we view it through.

LordDark

Very interested to learn her 3rd tier talent.

Schmidt

Its similar to what he did with Liz we knew about her parents before matt even if he suspected. And i think he handled liz telling matt really well even if we already knew.

Schmidt

Did you get the vibe that she's was enamored with him? This ain't a Harem.

C_Mantis

Firstly, mad props for including active consent. It's sadly severely underrepresented in fiction. So I do like it, but I'm wondering if revealing her backstory up front isn't a bit premature (the tone shift is a bit jarring). It removes the mystery of who she is and will make any future scene where she tells Matt and Liz about her past hit less powerfully since we've already been told her backstory and had time to process it. That said, I'm partial to mysterious characters with unknown histories, so that's definitely colouring my view.

Derik Botha

Honest, only so-so happy with the chapter. The writing itself is fine. Just want to point out that one of the great hallmarks of bad writing is when an author starts surrounding his male main character with women who seem to worship his every whim. Not a big fan of Harem stories. Nor Manic Pixie Dream Girls.

Obran

About you second paragraph I'm not sure if you mean this adds to the story or not. But the second one, yeah people (women) are entitled to change their minds with out getting shamed for it.

C_Mantis

Besides the increase in strength which I don't think was a factor in her plan I imagine she had to go through the bars sideways and so shoulder to shoulder she was too wide so she had to cut off a shoulder to fit? But I agree even though I tried to reason out why I still don't get why she had to cut off the arm.

tethra

One thing though, I was rather confused about why she had to cut off her arm to fit through?

The Lost Pages

Huh, had me worried there at the beginning. But you twisted it nicely there at the end.

The Lost Pages

Cool chapter. I gotta say when I see chapters like this I'm reminded that a good story can contain far more diverse ideas than I typically see. I feel drawn towards rating stories based on the ideas they have, but that's like critiquing a house for the types of fasteners used in its construction without appreciating the house as a whole. I haven't run across cock tease story situations much in my reading, but it's always been a way to talk about how the woman was a mean bitch. Never that she might you know, actually have changed her mind.

Justin

lol, Dude Waters. that's hilarious

Amelgar

Dude -> Duke. Nice chapter though.

Max McLean

Thanks for the great chapter

Jonas

Yeah that's the next chapter

C_Mantis

Bold change to the story, but not necessarily a bad change. I enjoyed the perspective shift - especially getting to see waters in action. 90% excited and 10% apprehensive to see where this goes.

Jake Malony

Not sure how i feel about this chapter. World building is always great. Not sure how I feel about another person on the team but it could work out great. I'll reserve my opinion for a few chapters. Thanks for posting!

RottenTangerine

You should explain in this or in the next chapter, why Duke Waters wants her to join them. That part feels passed over. Duke Waters wants her to join a team, right? Any team? Why Matt and Liz specifically? Why not a full female team?

Josef Blumers

This is not a Harem. Just want to reaffirm that.

C_Mantis

Kind of a steep change in tone, and not sure about the developing harem, but the character herself seems interesting and her talents fit perfectly with BethBeth's blood powers. I mean she can cut herself a ton to get more power and then have Beth hold the blood in to stop her from actually bleeding out.

PlasmaticPi

Yeah, it’s bullshit. They are risking their lives every single time they enter a rift. You just don’t allow anyone to join, sad backstory or not.

Haran

I think she has to be on the path. She wouldn’t be able to join their team if she wasn’t. And all she needs to get on the path is a recommendation which the Duke could give her.

Joel Wells

New encounter. I recall Matt mentioning their name and it wasn't Camilla

Amelgar

Interested to see where this goes. I don’t see how Duke Waters can just decide she will join Liz without her knowing or approving. Also think this might create some type of love triangle. Because Matt is likely to upend her worldview about men.

Brandon Baier

I think it was said in the chapter if she didn’t join this team she would go out on her own. Nothing against solo delvers, but I think being in a team would increase your odds of survival. That said, she definitely needs to keep in contact with her therapist.

Joel Wells

Is this the one night stand Matt had awhile ago? Or is this a whole new encounter?

Joel Wells

Hmm... is she on the Path? Would complicate things if she wasn't. Getting the impression she isn't

Amelgar

Yeah, I didn’t like this chapter. She should be in therapy, not foisted on other teenagers.

Haran

Her Tier 3 looks like it turns pain into strength. So it's going to be interesting where she goes with it.

Alex R

That won't become a ongoing trope

C_Mantis

That was a rough read. At least Camilla will be with a good partners she can trust. I’m interested to see what her fighting style is. I’m guessing healer but she could end up being some sort of sexual berserker if her tier 3 talent continued down the same type of path as her tier 1.

Lictor Magnus

Im not sure what i was expecting, but it wasnt this. Still, it adds more depth to the world and narrative. Good job.

My name is Klondike

Damn. While I know she is broken if she keeps this up to much I will be pissed.

Gunnar Crider


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