Red Vs Blue

"To my side...!" I raise my hand, calling anyone that is willing to listen. Desperately hoping that someone will answer the pleas of a dying man... But no one comes. I do not remember her name, nor do I reach a new sword.

Hideaki Emiya's is forgotten in the abyss, no heroic spirit hears it, or at least none that are willing to answer to his call. But for some reason... why do the words cheat character keep coming to my mind?

"Beam...!" A flash of blue light consumes the building out of nowhere, I close my eyes by instinct. I think... I think in that moment I manage to accept my death. It wasn't... it wasn't the life I wished for, but it could have been worse... Even if my heart will never reach its goal.

I don't die however, instead... when I open my eyes again what i see is red. Flowing red.

It's a woman, she's dressed pretty basically, with a simple white shirt and jeans combo, but... Her flashy red hair, together with her beautiful blue eyes immediately strike my heart. I... No heroic spirit answered me, but this woman did.

I don't even know how to reach to this, I'm transfixed... She kicks my head. "Ow!? What's the big deal!?" My leg is still bleeding you know!? Did she miss me by accident and now wants to kill me!?

The woman glares at me. "You... sorry, that was pure instinct." She kneels to my side, and puts one of her hands on my leg. "You really are a pretty incompetent mage if you can't even heal this." A strange glow shines from her hand, and my leg begins to meld itself together.

It doesn't feel like what healing should feel, but I never experienced this before, so I couldn't tell anyways. However, now that I am... apparently out of the danger zone, who the hell is this woman?

No, that doesn't matter right now... I look down, a blush on my face. "T-thanks for the help." Her lazer beam like attack wiped out pretty much every creature in the area. What an amazing spectacle...

She smiles. "Don't worry, I'll couldn't let you kick the bucket after all." She then blushes. "And... well, I almost killed you... As always, I'm bad at controlling my strength. Sorry." O-oi, don't tell me that beam genuinely almost hit me.

More importantly however, she said some interesting stuff just now. "H-hey, why did you come and save me? Is it... is it related to that BB girl?" I don't want to make it sound like I'm important or anything, but... she did steal my mother's face.

A look of frustration appears on her face. "That girl huh... Yeah, this whole situation is real bad, we gotta solve that. Ah... it's a good thing I used my sorcerery to come here as fast as possible." She puts a hand on her head. "I'm worried about some people though..." I see...?

I tilt my head. "No, seriously, why did you come here?" Have I... Have I met this woman before? There's no way right? I'm sure I would remember someone with the sheer presence she exudes. It's more likely that she would forget me!

She squints her eyes in my direction, her face now... filled with suspicion? "For our marriage of course. The world may be ending, but a deal between mages can't be easily broken." W-what!? Last I checked I didn't have an wife...!

Besides, this woman is a bit too old for me, she's probably around the same age as my mom... maybe a few years younger? She's also just as... ahem... gifted as my mom. Not that I should be thinking about stuff like that in a situation such as this one!

I gasp. "Our marriage!? I met you today! I met you right now!" I wouldn't mind marrying a woman like her though... I have a feeling that conquering the world would be so much easier with her by my side...

Her eye twitches. "No. Oh, no, no, no Mister Playboy, you aren't pulling the amnesia card on me!" She actually pulls me by the shirt. "You're gonna pussy out of the deal now!? After we went through so much together!?" Again, I met you today!

There are tears in her face, but they do not mask her anger. "Y-you were just toying with my heart, weren't you!? All of those sweet nothings you whispered on my ear... About how I was totally still young, and how I am totally attractive and could find a man easily... All lies!" You sound easy to manipulate, so I can't deny anything.

She takes a deep breath. "I... you just wanted to get free upgrades on your servant, is that it? I can't believe I upped all of her parameters to EX for you...! The Moon Cell could have tried killing me you know!?" Isn't that the thing BB mentioned!?

Her eyes slowly become colder and colder. "You... are not getting out of this that easily. We are getting married. I am building a happy life with you. Alice will stop bullying me. Got it, you jerk?" Mom, a stranger is trying to force me into doing strange things.

I begin to stutter. "F-fuck off...!" I'm not marrying some crazy violent nut job just because she saved me. Even if she has giant tits, and flaming red hair, and beautiful eyes, and a gigantic ass, and fit body, and... Maybe I would be willing to go on a date?

The red head releases me and moves backwards, getting up as she does so. "I... I can't believe I got toyed with! This is the type of stuff that should happen to naive little girls! Not me!" Nobody toyed with you!

Suddenly I hear another voice. "Of course you got toyed with Aoko. You should be lucky he isn't breaking you either..." A new woman enters, she reminds me of the one who saved me. Her hair is much less shiny though... and she has a cigarette on one of her hands.

Aoko... if that's actually her real name, growls. "You... don't tell me you're involved in this Touko!" So that's the name of this newcomer. "I'm glad you dropped the blue hair by the way, it looked awful." my mind knows not what she's talking about, but my soul agrees.

Touko smiles. "Ugh, I was just trying something new for once..." Her smile then turns twisted. "And I'm not involved in anything, you're the one who's here doing... something to my fiance." Hah?

Why do I suddenly have an awful feeling in my stomach? Why do I suddenly feel like the end is close? I accepted death a couple moments ago, but now that feeling has gone away, I am no longer okay with dying.

Aoko raises an eyebrow. "Your fiance...? Did you even talk with him that much during the grail war? Besides, I'm the one who showed up to save him! Ya know, like an actual decent main heroine." I can't deny that...

Touko blushes and looks away. "O-okay, so what if I took a bit of time to get here because I was preparing a cuter puppet..." She drops her cigarette to the ground. "I... I just had trust that he would be fine! And he was!" I wasn't. I'm not.

Aoko waves her off. "Yeah, yeah, now leave. I bet you had some delusions about him loving you just because he was nice to you or something... Like a high school guy, or a legendary Christmas cake." I...

Cannot stay silent. "You also give those vibes for some reason." Perhaps I accepted death so much at that moment that I'm now actively seeking it. Like if the universe didn't accept Hideaki Emiya living and now wants to correct it.

To my surprise though, Aoko doesn't get violent again, instead she points at herself, a grin on her face. "Me? This gal right here? Being a Christmas cake who uses time magic to look young and prey on young boys?" I didn't say most of that stuff. "Not anymore Hide-Tan, since we are getting married." D-did you call me tan!?

She then points at Touko. "My dear sister here though? The closest she ever got to getting any good action is probably from one of her personally built toys." You two are sisters...? Why... why am I slowly getting more and more terrified?

Touko rolls her eyes. "What juvenile insults... Bitch." That was a juvenile insults just now! "Also, I made this boy! I am his creator, so I can take him back whenever I so desire... Let's ignore that I got paid to do it." She ends by silently muttering.

Not that I care too much about that last part, and neither does Aoko really. We just stare at Touko, hoping that she will elaborate on the absurd thing she has now decided to share to the rest of the now traumatized class.

Touko looks away. "Fine... I'll admit it. I didn't actually make him, but I made his dad... his dad's body. That has to count for something right?" This is all news to me. Wait, are we related...? You have red hair.

My eyes widen. "A-are you..." I never met them, in fact they should have died a painful horrible death that no pitiful little human deserves, but... this day has been a fever dream so far, so I wouldn't doubt it "My grandma?" I mean, with all that she's saying...

Touko glares at me. "Say those words again and I'll kill you..." A depressed look appears on her face. "But I guess I'm old enough to be. I... I'm old enough to be." She makes a series of quick actions, and before long she's smoking a cigarette.

Aoko laughs. "It's good that you realize it! Now beat it, and if you're polite about it, I might just invite you to my marriage... Which will happen after I blow up the Moon." Since when did you decide to blow up the Moon? Also, considering you two are sisters... I won't say it, but I'll think it.

Touko shakes her head. "I won't just leave... Hide-Tan, he..." You also call me tan!? "We were so perfect together... every night that he had available time we would go on a date. Now, that was rare of course, and we didn't exactly have many places to go in the Holy Grail War, but... We fell in love and promised to get married!" Who is this smooth guy that has my name!? Introduce me to him!

Touko nods. "That's right, I guess even someone like me had to settle down eventually... Well, after we figure out what the hell the Moon Cell is thinking of course." She looks at my hand... at a ring on my hand. "And we that we have a chance of winning at least." This ring was not on my hand before.

Aoko clears her throat. "That's funny and all... But hey, Touko... Tell me, why am I only hearing of this super duper special relationship now?" That's what I should be asking! You two are crazy!

Touko shrugs. "Well, we had to keep it a secret. I was a manager of the Holy Grail War after all... If it got out that I was dating a participant he would get into trouble." She smirks. "Which would be deserved. You have no idea how much I laughed when that little king suddenly descended to an arena where it was night." She sounds genuinely proud of whatever she did.

Aoko nods with surprising speed. "I see, how funny though. I also remember having a boyfriend who needed my help to win a war, and I also remember cheating to give him numerous advantages." I... This Hideaki Emiya must have been crazy. He is not me, of course.

Aoko looks back at me. "And here's the funny thing... He always took me in dates when the sun was up, never during the night... He also never took me close to the Cathedral for those dates, you know, the place where my sister hangs out." This man might have doomed me.

Touko snorts. "What? Are you suggesting that Hide-Tan played around with us to win that war? That he was double timing me, with my own hated sister...?" As she says it outloud, she slowly turns and looks at me.

We are now dead silent, but it is clear that they want me to say something. I'm not foolishly enough to lie, so... "I have no idea who you two are." Their bodies are crazy though, I would die to double time them.

"Wrong answer." I might die for having double timed them.