Adventure Awaits! Huzzah! 18

"Get well soon, mother..." Julia was once again visiting Deirdre.

It had become somewhat of a ritual for the princess, and so it became somewhat of a ritual for Himmel too. After all, for some reason he had become the princess' unofficial bodyguard. Something which she sorely needed in this place filled with strangers.

And he called the role unofficial for a reason. There was never a moment where Julia asked for a bodyguard or anything like that, she just started hanging around him, really. Maybe it was his natural big brother aura coming through!? Or maybe it was something else. It didn't matter, Himmel didn't mind. In fact, he liked spending time with his sister... although...

There was one downside. And that downside was constantly seeing Julia sad. "I'm sure she will wake up soon, Princess." He put a hand on the girl's shoulder, trying to comfort her.

In a stroke of luck, Deirdre had yet to wake up, even after a few days.

He shouldn't call it a stroke of luck. What was he thinking?

"Thank you for your words, Lord Himmel." Julia clasped her hands together, perhaps praying. "I'm sure you're right. Mother is strong." That he had no doubt.

Well, Julia probably meant something a bit more spiritual, but Himmel was referring to it purely physically. Deirdre was a grown woman, presumably very well trained, who had Major Holy Blood. Putting her down wasn't exactly an easy task.

But there did exist things that could do it. "I believe you. I didn't interact with her much, but she seemed fierce." And afraid of ghosts, apparently. "Still, Princess Julia, I..." He had something he wanted to ask.

That something was what had happened to them in the first place. Julia clearly knew something, and while at first she seemed to avoid the topic due to trauma, now it just seemed she didn't want to talk about it. It made Himmel very worried, to say the least.

"Yes, Lord Himmel?" She raised an eyebrow.

And Himmel lost his nerve. "I wanted to ask you to stop calling me Lord Himmel already." Maybe it was his big brother instincts, but he didn't want to force her into revealing anything, so he pivoted. "Seriously, I'm not a lord of anything."

Julia giggled. "You could have fooled me, Lord Himmel." She definitely said it again to tease him. "I know many young lords, but you fit the bill better than any of them... It makes me curious about your childhood."

She continued. "You said your father was an eccentric man... could you tell me more about him?"

Oh shit, could he? "Um... are you sure? I don't want to end up babbling about things you don't care about." He probably could talk about Kris, it's not like he would reveal the man's true goals or anything.

But there was always the possibility of him fucking up, so he'd rather avoid this conversation in its entirety.

Alas, Julia did not give up so easily. "I-I do care about it... a-and we have to pass time until Alm returns anyways." That was a good point.

Himmel typically guarded Julia, and Alm typically guarded Deirdre. The two were trusted enough to not try any freaky business. Right now Alm had left for a bit, though, and so Himmel had momentarily taken up his post.

Which meant he had to wait until Alm came back. Just in case some sailor decided he wanted to molest an empress or something.

Still, he definitely could reject Julia. She had started stuttering, a sign she had lost confidence, so... Ugh, he didn't want to bully his little sister around, though, so he might as well throw in the towel.

"Hah... fair enough. So, about my father..."



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"So, I think at this point it's pretty much decided, right?" Kliff cleared his throat. "We are dropping the plans of going to Archanea and going to Jugdral instead. Everyone in favor?"

They were in a meeting, discussing their plans. And this wasn't their first meeting either, they had talked about this plenty of times by now.

Faye looked away. "I'm in favor, of course, but Himmel..."

Alm interjected. "Himmel should be here for this." Not only because he was more or less their leader, but also because it was just right that he should be here for such an important decision.

Kliff sighed. "I agree, of course, but... setting up a meeting with all of us is just too difficult. So I'll just talk to him later and see what he votes. He has been vocally supporting this idea for a while, though, so I doubt his mind will change."

That was all true. Both that Himmel seemed in favor of going to Jugdral and that a meeting with all their members seemed kind of impossible. Alm himself had lost many meetings at this point, always being busy guarding that sleeping empress.

Ugh, it was unbearably boring. His grandpa had drilled patience into his head exactly for situations like this, though, so Alm wasn't trying to escape from the position or anything, he was a little bit frustrated.

Faye looked down. "That's not exactly what I wanted to talk about though..." She looked down. "It's just that... well, first of all, I don't know if Himmel really wants to go to Jugdral..." That was interesting.

It also sounded crazy since Himmel seemed always in support of the idea, but if anyone could read Himmel, it was Faye. Or Celica. Or Lady Sonya. Himmel was apparently easy to read when it came to women, hell, even Clair was getting good at it.

But she definitely wasn't at Faye's level yet, and more importantly, since she was new to the group, she didn't completely trust Faye's instincts when it came to Himmel.

Which is why she questioned her. "May I ask what you mean, Faye? Why would he not tell us if that was the case?"

Faye shrugged. "I don't know, it just seems like... he gets a bit sick when talking about it." Now that she said it, Himmel really did pale a bit when the topic was brought up. "But the issue is that I don't know if it's because something is wrong with Jugdral or with Princess Julia. I think he's scared of her."

Clair raised an eyebrow. "Truly? The princess seems like a perfect woman." Of course she would say that.

Alm personally thought she was annoying. It's like she couldn't go two sentences without stuttering. Though he couldn't blame her for it, of course, seeing as she was in a place full of strangers. And at least she was beginning to control herself around Himmel.

Faye nodded. "Yes. I don't know why, but Himmel is always shaking when she's around." Her Himmel senses were truly amazing, Alm considered the man a brother and yet didn't notice anything!

Clair crossed her arms. "Hmmm... Perhaps it is a bit of trauma seeping through due to our previous encounters with royalty? I could not... I could not blame him if that was the case."

Kliff sighed. "Whatever it is, why does Himmel keep following her around then?"

Faye's eyes darkened a bit. "He's not following her. She's following him." Oh?

Kliff didn't actually dismiss her claims. "He did save her. I guess she must trust him because of it." He shrugged. "Well, whatever Himmel has, let's watch him and figure it out. If he's just scared of the dead king, we ignore it, if it's something serious, we do something about it."

Clair seemed stumped by their behavior once again. "Watch him...? Can we simply not ask Himmel what ails him so?"

"..." Kliff stayed silent to that. And so did Faye.

So Alm decided to interject. "It's a hard thing to do. Himmel is a people helper, but if you try to help him, it's like he runs away. The only one who could get through to him was Lady Sonya and his father."

"Lady Sonya... That is not the first time I heard that name. May I ask who she is?"

"She's Himmel's old magic teacher." Though Alm didn't actually know much about her...

She would only really talk with Himmel and with Faye at times. He supposed she was a woman who focused on her job. Or maybe she just thought everyone else was boring.

"I see." Clair hummed. "Well, I shall not ignore this point brought up by Faye. I will ask Himmel about it when the opportunity presents itself." She was definitely setting herself up for disappointment.

Alm hoped she succeeded, though. "Feel free to go ahead. That aside, if the princess does turn out to be an enemy for some reason... what do we do about her?"

Faye raised a hand. "We kill her, duh. We're in the ocean, so we can just throw her corpse and say she slipped and fell by accident or something—"

Clair stopped her, all flustered. "Faye, that seems to be an... overreaction. We already have enough royal blood on our hands..." Indeed.

Alm was all for killing the enemies of his friends, but Faye could be a little extreme. Well, super extreme, she just tended to tone it down when Himmel was around. Probably to try and appear cuter or something, girls were weird.

Faye rolled her eyes. "It's just a suggestion."

Alm chuckled. "A... scary one." He faked a cough. "Worst case scenario we can just dump her on Novis or something. I mean, the captain wouldn't like that, but it's not like he would be able to say no or anything."

Alm and Himmel were strong. Too strong. It was why they were acting as bodyguards of royalty in the first place. Himmel didn't like to admit it, but Alm knew that they were pretty much unstoppable as long as there wasn't an army around.

Himmel could be weird about things. Personally, Alm was proud of their strength.

"Sounds as good a plan as any." Kliff calling a plan of his good? What a miracle! "But going with a suggestion that Alm made makes me feel sick, so if any of you come up with anything else, tell me." And there it was.

"Screw you..." Alm mumbled to himself.

And was completely ignored by Kliff. "But, assuming the Himmel problem was solved, Jugdral does sound better than Archanea... right?"

The answer was an expected, unanimous yes.



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Shit biscuits— Ship biscuits weren't the only thing the ship had to offer as food. They were just by far the most common thing. Still, occasionally they could eat other things, like salted meat or hard cheeses.

And today was such an occasion.

The crew's spirits were high. Not only because of the food, not only because of the promise of riches that Julia brought by her sheer existence, but also because there wouldn't be too much time until they landed on Novis. Only three to four days, according to the captain.

So Himmel should be feeling happy.

And he was, it was just that—!

"Lord Himmel, are you not going to eat?" It was kind of funny, having Julia, a princess of an entire empire, eating by his side as if they were equals.

He put on a smile. "I guess I'm just without an appetite today. My apologies." That was becoming more and more common.

Maybe it was due to that seasickness of his that seemingly never went away. Or maybe even that normal sickness that decides to haunt him no matter what. At the end of things, he just had to accept he was completely incompatible with the ocean.

Julia's smile was a lot more genuine than his. "No need to apologize. Though I do hope you eat something later, my lord!"

Faye clicked her tongue. "He should eat something now. Especially since he looks so pale." Ah, her emerging mother persona was showing up again.

Himmel wasn't just eating with Julia, he was eating with all his friends... with the exception of Alm. Honestly, he was beginning to feel bad for the guy, maybe he should trade jobs with him for a while?

Nah. He didn't... he didn't trust himself to guard the empress. Sorry, Alm!

Julia pouted. "Maybe he looks pale because of the food in the first place." Was she about to complain about the quality of this slop? They truly were siblings. "I too have a fairly weak stomach, so I understand that forcing it does more harm than good."

Faye squinted her eyes. "With all the respect, Princess... I understand that Himmel needs to eat if he wants to keep propelling the ship around. And besides, I know Himmel's dietary habits better than you... since I know him better than you in general."

Julia put a hand on her heart. "I-I do not deny that, b-but..." And like that, it was over.

At the end of things, Julia was a shy girl. If someone tried arguing with her, she wouldn't really argue back.

Himmel was surprised an argument was even born in the first place, though, and about him of all things. If he was honest with himself, he was expecting Faye to worship the ground that Julia walked on.

Faye, even if trained in combat, had a love for more traditional feminine stuff after all, and that obviously included princesses. And since Himmel obviously would never have a chance with Julia, romantically speaking, no rivalries should be born.

And yet... something else was making Faye mad. Just what was that?

Welp, whatever it was, he couldn't let his little sister just be bullied. And yet, at the same time, he couldn't betray Faye. What a conundrum... He seriously didn't know what to say.

Himmel sighed. "I... well, I don't want to take sides or anything, but I'm not hungry. So I'll be skipping breakfast today." Ugh, even though he said that, he basically picked Julia's side in the end.

In his defense, this was complicated!

It brought good memories, though... Trying to balance a princess and a village girl, even if back then he didn't know about the status of the first one.

"Himmel..." For a moment, Faye frowned, but that frown was quickly replaced by a scowl. "Princess Julia, don't encourage Himmel to create bad habits or anything like that!" Yeah! Poor Faye would have to take care of those bad habits when she married him!

Hah... Would that even happen now, with his plans of splitting the party to continue to Archanea? Well, Novis was pretty close too. Maybe he could even leave there.

Suddenly he didn't feel like listening to their bickering anymore.

Kliff didn't feel like doing so either, but he was also courageous (insane) enough to try and do something about it. "Can you stop, Faye? I think I'm getting a headache here." But apparently he was not brave enough to include Julia on his list of enemies.

Himmel did not know what Faye said in response, beginning to tune out their entire conversation. Something that was probably good for his mental health in the long term. Even if he didn't really want to be stuck with his own thoughts right now.

He didn't get the opportunity to brood for long, however. "Excuse me, Himmel?" Clair was tapping on his shoulder. "If you are not going to eat, may I ask you about something?"

"Sure. Go ahead."

"I... believe this conversation may be best held privately." Oh!? Was a legendary confession about to come!?

Obviously not, but the fact that Faye didn't immediately interject with that assumption on her mind showed how invested she was in her bickering. It was kind of amazing, really.

That aside... "Um... I..." He stole a glance at the poor, currently being bullied, Julia. "I don't think I can leave right now." And that was that, really.

To his surprise, though, Clair insisted. "I am sure Kliff and Faye can watch over Princess Julia for a moment, Himmel." True enough...

They weren't as strong as Himmel, but he doubted sailors would start trying to dogpile the princess as soon as he took his eyes off her anyways. Still, leaving her behind just felt kind of wrong.

But saying no to Clair's request would have felt wrong too. "True enough. Please lead the way, Lady Clair."



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"So, what did you want to talk about?"

Clair struggled to get her response out. For a moment Himmel actually wondered if that confession really was going to show up. "I wanted to... ask what has been bothering you so much lately."

"...?" Well, that was disappointing. No blonde noble waifu get for today. "Nothing has been bothering me. Um... thanks for checking up on me, though."

And he meant it, it was nice to see his friends showing they cared and all, but he should probably get back to Julia—

"Himmel, let me state something from the very beginning." Her face was filled with frustration. "I was warned that you would try to deflect my concerns or try to run away. I am disappointed that such worries turned out to be true."

She went from seeing if he was okay to scolding him!?

She continued. "I know that you are unwell, and you have been like that for a while. So do not try to hide it, nor try to change the topic." She put her hands on her hips and leaned forward. "Trust me, I can be just as stubborn as you when I desire. Any resistance will be meaningless."

W-wow. That was the power of an Ojou-Sama for you. It wasn't something Himmel could even challenge, much less beat.

He put a hand on his neck, feeling embarrassed. "Fine, I'll admit it." And now Clair was looking all victorious. How cute. "I've been... sick lately. I don't know if it's my body not liking the ocean or something I've caught, though."

"I thought it was something that would just go away, but it hasn't. Still, I'm a bit too busy recently, so I'll just have to push through." Maybe if he decided to stay on Novis, he could get some more permanent rest.

Or maybe he would be getting an eternal rest, since Clair suddenly looked pissed.

Her expression was that of a wife who had caught her husband coming home way too late. "Oh? So you claim to have caught a common cold? Is that it?" Seriously, why did she look so angry!?

Women were scary, this is why grooming was important! "U-um... yes? I don't actually know if it's a common cold, but I sure hope so. Catching something more dangerous would suck—"

"And why is it that this common cold seemingly only appears when Princess Julia is around?" Ah. "Something very inconvenient, seeing as she is always around you. I have to wonder if she's a bearer of some kind of curse." The sarcasm was clear in her voice.

Himmel took a step back. "C'mon, you can't put the blame for this on Princess Julia. Like you said, she's always around, so how would you even know I get sick when she's around or whatever?"

Clair crossed her arms. "Fine then... Shall we put the blame on the empress instead? From what I understand, even entering her room is enough to make you look like a dead man."

"I..." Himmel clicked his tongue, frustrated. "Where are you even getting all of these ideas from? I didn't know you watched me so closely like that." There were three outcomes he could see coming from his answer.

Her getting offended and denying it. Her getting embarrassed and denying it. Her conceding the point and admitting she was wrong. All of those worked for him.

Hopefully she wouldn't pull out a secret fourth option. "No, I do not watch you c-closely..." Well, she was blushing, so his prediction was going along nicely. "But Faye certainly does. And she is the one who claimed all that I am accusing you of." And there it was.

That was pretty much checkmate, but she had more to say. "And Alm agreed with those claims. The two people closest to you." She sighed. "And yet they think you will just brush off their concerns. Please prove them wrong."

Damn it.

He seriously didn't expect this. Himmel honestly didn't even know what to say, because he wasn't lying about his sickness. Once again, he appreciated their concern, but...

"Look, Clair, I— I genuinely am just sick—"

"Himmel, please stop lying to me." Her anger began to dissipate, replaced with pure worry. "And honestly, at this point I am beginning to believe you are lying about this to yourself as well, so... stop being such a frustrating man."

He suddenly felt like he needed to lie down. "I... I'm being a frustrating man, huh?" He snorted. "Sorry, Clair. I'll try to put some thought into your words." He worried everyone at least that much.

"I am beginning to believe that is the best I shall get for now, so please do so." With a blush and trembling hands, she intertwined her fingers with his. "A-and when you are ready, please come to me once again. I would hate to be forced into dragging you around again."

"Sure." How cute. "Why did you suddenly grab my hands though?" Oh, he knew why.

And he was happy about it. Stuff like this made his sickness go away.

"Do not ask such foolish questions from a lady!" Fair enough.

He wanted to tease her a bit, but out of gratitude he would stop. "Sorry. Anyways, let's go back. I have to get back to princess-guarding duty."

"You will do no such thing." And her blush had gone away again. Oh boy. "You said you would put some thought on my words. Go ponder or whatever." Hearing or whatever from Clair just felt wrong...

A chuckle ended up escaping him. "I would love to, but I really can't abandon Princess Julia."

"She won't be abandoned." Clair puffed her chest. "I will be keeping an eye on her. I wish to talk with her about the noble culture of Jugdral, and this is the perfect chance."

Well... his little sister would probably appreciate company from a lady like Clair. "I see. Have fun then."

And so, as she had put it... it was time to ponder or whatever.



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"Damn it, what am I even doing here?" He was getting frustrated.

He had gone to the side of the ship, wanting to watch the ocean while also being alone. All he had accomplished was feeding his seasickness. What was he even supposed to ponder about anyways!?

He put his hands on the edge of the ship. "I guess... I guess I can rant or something? That doesn't seem very productive." He snorted. "And I can only rant about the obvious anyways. I'm scared of Jugdral, duh."

The ocean had no answer. What a good listener! "But it's not too bad. I've already found ways out. I just have to say goodbye to the brats, and we can all reach a good end."

Yes, it was a good end. As good an end as they could hope for considering their current situation.

It wouldn't be the first time he said goodbye to a brat anyways. He did so with Celica. Hell, he was the one who tried going about it in a mature way, so what was so different now?

A sigh escaped his mouth. "What am I babbling about? I... this is really useless. I'm going back to Princess Julia." There was no need to say that out loud, but he wanted to confirm it to himself.

Wasting Clair's effort just felt wrong, however, so he stayed. Looking at the ocean made him feel so weak.

"I want it back." Eventually, words came out more due to instinct than anything, but they were true.

Celica left, but he stayed. He didn't... he didn't want to leave Ram Village. He didn't want the brats to mature. He didn't want to say goodbye. He wanted things to stay as they were. He wanted Himmel to stay as he was.

He could fix this by telling them about his true identity. They would undoubtedly understand, they would undoubtedly drop the idea of going to Jugdral. They could stay together. But he didn't want the brats to throw away their chance at happiness—

That was a lie. He just didn't want to stop being Himmel.

"I don't want to..." He leaned down, putting more of his body against the ship. "Damn it, I'm such a piece of shit." Something which he knew about from day one, but he at least thought he had some level of standards.

He took a deep breath, and with it came a chuckle. "I'm getting sick near Julia? Near my mom? Of course I am. I'm not scared of Jugdral. I'm scared of them." It was strange. Now that he had started talking, he couldn't stop.

"A cute little sister... responsibility... what a joke. I'm just scared she's gonna smite me or something." Maybe if he were useful enough, he could be forgiven. Maybe if he were useful enough, he would be able to do something...!

His reflection on the ocean answered. "That's what we've been doing for a while, right? Training and training and training... Not enough to do anything, but to protect the things around us."

Himmel nodded. "Yeah. I can't believe I'm saying this, but being a village boy... I actually liked it. It could be discouraging at times, but at least it was pretty simple."

Seliph sighed. "Yeah, blasting away all our problems with lightning sure is nice. Look where it got us, though. We killed the king, and now we are stuck on this mess."

Himmel continued. "I wish... I wish I could have a break. Something simple to do." He clenched his fists. "Simple things are nice. Training is nice, talking about nothing with the brats is nice. Stop making me make tough decisions, damn it. Let me go back."

Seliph scowled. "And if you aren't going to let that happen, then at least paint a path for me to walk."

Himmel frowned. "That's not fair." He had a path he could walk. It would just mean forever abandoning the idea of ever going back.

"I'm talking to myself." The realization hit like a hammer to the head.

Just... just how messed up in the head was he?

Himmel fell. Thankfully not out of the ship, and just backwards. Though he supposed it didn't matter, he suddenly couldn't breathe anyways, so in a way he would drown no matter what.

Calm down... "What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?" He needed an easy answer.

Let Deirdre never wake up. Julia should just die. Let him go back on time, and he wouldn't even think about letting those idiots go on a pilgrimage for nothing but a sense of adventure.

"What should I do?" His mind began to clear. "..."

He clasped his hands together. "Talking to someone is bound to be healthier than talking to myself, so... Mother Mila, do you hear me?" What was he doing!?

Did he want to be smited by some goddess!?

No, but he wanted to talk with someone. And he wanted that talk to not shake his life forever. And so, between his own reflection and a goddess, he chose the latter.

Besides, he liked Mila. "Um... if you're listening and debating on whether to kill me... can I at least say something?" Well, he wasn't dead yet. So either she wasn't listening, or she accepted his request. "I'm pathetic."

"Pathetic enough that a little girl is just as terrifying as a demon king, but this one I can't just cut down. That's all really. I just wanted to tell that to someone." Now... now it was time to be smited...

Naturally, that didn't help.

"Ah... thanks." His breathing began returning to normal. "Sorry that my first..." And only. "Prayer is not about thanking you for all your blessings and stuff. I really do appreciate them. Always have."

"But... if you have one more blessing for me... please send it my way. I'll pay you back, somehow, someday." There.

That felt better.

He really wanted to get away from this fucking ship, it was making him go insane.



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A battle of myths.

One that Celica never thought she would witness. One she thought herself unworthy to witness. Nonetheless, she was here, and so she observed as a knight and a dragon duelled amidst rubble.

The dragon felt like malice incarnate... no, like power incarnate. Every move of his shook the very earth, and as if the heavens rejected such a beast, he had no wings. Although he had no need for them anyways, nothing would be able to escape this monster, no matter what.

The knight... was fighting a losing battle. His sword, a shining silver, could do nothing. His magics, as blazing as they were, could do nothing. The knight was nothing. The knight was Himmel.

Grown. No longer a child, but a man. But still Himmel. Celica could recognize him anywhere.

Which is why she desperately rushed to his side. Too late, a claw pierced through him as his armor didn't even exist.

The dragon talked, his very voice causing the world to beg for its life. "This is the only result for you, boy. Anri, you were not... you weren't even a good copy of your father."

Himmel's sword fell to the ground. "I... I know..." His voice sounded defeated. "But surely... surely someday someone will..."

"Rise up and defeat me? Perhaps. Perhaps not. It matters not to you right now, does it?" He lifted Himmel with his class. "But even if such does happen... As long as evil exists in the hearts of men, I will arise once more. And then... even your precious... Mila's and Duma's precious Valentia will..."

The dragon laughed for a moment, but then stopped immediately after it, as if disgusted with himself. "No. It is beneath me to take away the hopes of a dying man. Goodbye."

With one bite, Himmel was no more.

...

Celica woke up screaming.

And then calmed down soon afterwards, putting a hand on her chest. "What... what fiendish nightmare was that?" Her body was still trembling from it.

Great, she was all sweaty too.

"Hah... but a nightmare is just a nightmare." Yes, a creation from her mind to scare her. Just like when it showed her visions of her poor siblings being consumed by flame.

Just a nightmare. Nothing important. She had to push through it and go back to sleep, so she lied down and closed her eyes...

And dreamed of the same thing. And the same thing happened the next day, and the next, and the next...



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AN: In which Himmel goes bonkers... for a little bit.

Well, it was only inevitable. This is pretty much the first time he has confronted himself, really. Though he didn't really reach a conclusion, I'm gonna keep that for when he actually talks with someone face-to-face.

Also, Celica! Having dreams about the guys she likes dying is a constant across timeliness, huh.