My Life Turned Into A Chuunige VN 14

Three Servants. Three Heroic Spirits.

Medea of Colchis. She was one of the most famous magic users in all of myth. Standing right behind Morgan Le Fay when it came to the definition of what it meant to be a witch. As one of the Argonauts, she was also immensely experienced when it came to fighting side-by-side with other heroes.

King Arthur. The once and future king, the one with the essence of a dragon, the one who carried quite possibly the most famous sword in history. Just with sheer levels of mana alone they could crush almost any other hero, and when it came to battle their skills were almost unmatched.

Oda Nobunaga. The most famous conqueror Japan had ever produced. A tactical genius who had ripped out the supernatural from her country, destroying everything she had found standing in her way with the power of modernity.

When facing those three working together, almost any hero would have crumbled immediately.

Gilgamesh was not just any hero. He was the hero.

In a second he donned his golden armor. It was not something he liked to do, thinking of the mongrels around him as unworthy, but he had no choice right now. The Magical Resistance provided by it would shut down most of what Caster could do to him, so it was necessary.

Second, he aimed most of his currently opened gate at the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven, and fired quality weapons without any hesitation.

The Archer from the fifth war clicked her tongue. “Tsk. What the hell is this?” But she countered it with her own barrage of destruction.

That is to say, she summoned a ton of guns around her and shot at the coming weapons a bunch. Though with a less manifestation of her Reality Marble, she also summoned a skeleton to deflect any weapon that got too close.

The quality of her attacks was far lesser than Gilgamesh’s, but that didn’t truly matter right now. It was more a battle of speed, and in that she could keep up… for now. The king’s treasure was essentially infinite after all, while the same could not be said about her guns. 

Oda Nobunaga would have to recharge her bullets sometime, a process that took a bit of time and mana. When that happened she would lose.

With Caster more or less neutralized, and Archer occupied for a moment, the King of Heroes turned his attention towards Saber.

He drew a sword from his gate, a Noble Phantasm meant to slay dragons, and engaged in combat against the King of Knights.

A few heroes had the idea that due to his normal way of fighting, the King of Heroes must have been weak when it came to close quarters… That idea wasn’t correct.

First of all, his skills were more than just acceptable. Admittedly, he did not wield a sword as well as Lancelot, or a lance as well as Cú Chulainn, but he was still amongst the realm of legends when it came to his skills.

Second of all, only the mightiest of weapons could get through his armor, and even then a concentrated blow would be needed. Due to this, blows that only grazed his body could be safely ignored. It was a defense similar to that of Saber’s own magic armor, though much more extreme.

Third of all, his mind was simply above the common hero. And while he rarely used it to its full potential, he could still imitate skills such as Eye of the Mind or Instinct without much difficulty.

And finally, most importantly of all, Gilgamesh always had the right weapon for the job. As an example, his dragonslaying sword was screaming to taste Saber’s blood.

Which is why, he was actually overwhelming the Servant that was supposed to be a master of the sword, in a sword fight of all things.

“This is absurd…!” Saber had to admit, he hadn’t changed at all.

Be it when it came to his ego, his delusions, or even his absurdly high levels of power. 

Gilgamesh laughed. “Indeed, so why don’t you give up and—!” Become mine already. That’s what he wished to say, but such a thing was no longer possible. Not even for this unbelievably mighty hero.

So all he could do was suddenly become silent and focus on the fight. Something which Saber saw as a small blessing.

One would be forgiven for forgetting about normal humans while living legends battled. And for a moment, Shinsuke Yamaguchi had forgotten about Shirou Emiya, and even about himself. But as his heart calmed down, he finally took the opportunity to shout to his Servant.

“His true name is Gilgamesh! He also has some info gathering clairvoyance ability thingy!” He didn’t know how useful this would be, he didn’t even know if it was possible to hear him while the battle raged on, but he had to tell everyone.

Saber already knew his identity, but that wasn’t the case for Archer.

However, with this revelation she finally understood something. The reason why the King of Heroes had so much of his power focused on her, was because the moment she got a chance to summon her Reality Marble, this fight would be over. This was, of course, assuming that Gilgamesh had discovered her abilities with his “clairvoyance thingy.”

Now that he had said his piece, Shinsuke began focusing on his other task: Freeing Shirou Emiya.

Before, his plan of doing so had been stopped by Gilgamesh. The boy doubted the King of Heroes had any amount of attention to spare right now though, if he took his eyes off his opponents for a moment he would die.

So Shinsuke managed to rush over to Shirou without much trouble. “Are you alright, Emiya?” As soon as he began talking, he began cutting the wires holding Shirou.

It wasn’t a difficult process at all. Possibly because Caster no longer cared, but also maybe because the sword he now carried. While it may have been a nameless weapon without any significant legend, it was also still a Noble Phantasm at the end of the day.

“I’m fine.” The Fake Janitor nodded as he struggled against the wires.

Before long, Shinsuke had cut enough of them that Shirou actually managed to escape. The two Masters were no longer bound by Caster, which meant…

“Yamaguchi, take this chance and run away.” It meant escape from more than just the wires was possible, both Caster and Gilgamesh were currently very busy after all.

Shinsuke had no desire to take this chance though. “Hah? No way I’m gonna run from the cuckster over there.” It was a pride thing!

Though he also had a strategic reason for it. Kind of. At the end of the day, Gilgamesh was seemingly here for him, so if Shinsuke tried running away, maybe the King of Heroes would do something drastic to pursue him. The VN protagonist would rather keep the seas calm, so to speak.

Shirou frowned. “The what…?” He was discovering a lot about his classmate today. “Well, whatever. I guess it’s your choice.” The Fake Janitor himself had no desire to run away either.

In fact, even now he was watching the battle between four Servants looking for an opportunity to help. Though obviously there wasn’t much he could do when he wasn’t even a real magus depending on who you asked.

As the two boys watched over, Shirou began smelling something. “This… this is the smell of burning flesh… Where the hell is it coming from?” Burning human flesh. It was a smell he could never forget.

Putrid. The smell of life being taken by fire could only be described as putrid. 

Shinsuke waved his sword around. “Probably from this. It’s burning my palms.” It was also his only trump card, so it was a worthy price.

Ah, so that was where the smell was coming from… “The hell!? Then drop it, you idiot!” 

“No way, it’s mine now.” He looked at his hurting hands. “I should start wearing some gloves though.” Which sounded very chuuni, but he might as well have been chuuni incarnate anyways.

“Ah…” Shirou pinched his nose. “Just… you’re an idiot.” But he supposed this was kind of harmless. As far as harmful things went, at least.

Shinsuke sighed. “Forget that… I came up with an idea.” Until now he had been looking for an opportunity to use his cool looking new (stolen) sword, but perhaps he had been looking at the battlefield in the wrong way.

“I’m shivering from those words.” Shirou did not even want to imagine what his ally had come up with.

Shinsuke took a deep breath… and started shouting. “Go Saber! I know you can do it!” His voice became barely a whisper with all the insanely loud fighting that was happening.

But it still reached the ears of the Servants… who all didn’t really care. Saber was surprised by the sudden cheering of course, but she was experienced enough in battle to be able to ignore it and keep fighting with no issue.

“That’s it…?” Shirou raised an eyebrow in response. He had definitely not expected this to be Shinsuke’s plan. Not that there was anything wrong with it, but if he was gonna cheer for anyone, shouldn’t he encourage Archer instead—

“I love you, Saber!” A blush began covering Shinsuke’s face, but he did not hesitate. “So go on and show that bastard our strength!”

Now that had enough power to actually affect the combatants. Saber didn’t really know where that had come from, but Gilgamesh began snarling, showing hate from the bottom of his heart.

“Mongrel… Don’t think I’ll fall to such low provocations!” He had fallen to such low provocations.

After all, he took time from the fight to focus on Shinsuke. Time which Medea and Archer used to gain a better foothold against his Gate of Babylon. 

Saber immediately noticed that. Provocations typically only worked on fighters who were very immature or inexperienced, and clearly the first one applied to the King of Heroes, so…

King Arthur forced a grin on her face. “Thank you for your encouragement, my beloved!”

She knew the King of Heroes had some kind of obsession over her, and Shinsuke had told everyone that Gilgamesh had come here due to her being “stolen” by Archer’s Master in the future or whatever, so she understood what kind of plan Shinsuke was going for.

And she didn’t mind playing along. Saber had experienced plenty of crazy plans concocted by her knights and her mentor in the past.

Gilgamesh gritted his teeth. “You two are not yet together! I know it!” But then again, did that matter when it was inevitable.

Due to Gilgamesh’s loss in concentration, Archer finally had a chance to speak. “Gyahahaha! He sounds like a crying kid!” She chose to mock the King of Heroes instead of chanting for her Reality Marble.

“Gyahaha!” Shinsuke imitated her laugh perfectly. “He does, doesn’t he?” And then he began imitating Gilgamesh in a mocking tone. “You two are not yet together… Hahaha!”

Saber chuckled. “Well, it is true that there is no relationship between the two of us… but as long as it brought pain from Gilgamesh, I would not mind starting one.” And she wasn’t even just saying this to mess with the King of Heroes.

Saber was a blade, a tool, not a woman. If mocking the fragile ego of the King of Heroes brought her victory, she would not hesitate to do it.

Gilgamesh clicked his tongue. “Tsk, foolish woman. Do you not see that the disgusting demon mongrel is your enemy? He has somehow stolen your free will—”

“I do not believe your poisonous words, King of Heroes.” Besides, she had already sold her free will to the planet. Once she won the Holy Grail War, there would be nothing to steal. “Even if they were true however, I’d rather marry dirt than ever be yours.”

An awkward mood settled in. Everyone couldn’t help but think there had to be some weird history there, even though such a thing wasn’t really possible.

Nonetheless, Archer piled on. “You see that? The hierarchy is my Master, dirt, and then you, so why don’t you give up already!”

Even Medea, who had mostly stayed silent in the face of these tactics, decided to join. “Indeed. You are acting as some pathetic spurned lover from a play… Such shame might take you away from the Throne, so do try to save some face.”

Gilgamesh had embarrassed her before, so she did enjoy embarrassing him now.

“Mongrels, do not think—!” Gilgamesh’s face was the picture of rage.

Shinsuke wasn’t going to let him get any momentum though. “Dude, do you think screaming is going to make you look better?” He tried his best to channel the smug Shinji aura he ashamedly had within. “You’re a joke, and nobody here is afraid of you.”

That was even somewhat true. Gilgamesh was normally a terrifying Heroic Spirit, one who could crush almost any hero… but even when facing such a monster, one couldn’t help but be confident when their group had three Heroic Spirits.

“I’ll teach you fear—!” Once again he was interrupted.

This time by Shirou. “Yamaguchi is right. You said there’s no world where Yamaguchi doesn’t end up with Saber, right? Well, there is no world where you win this fight. The only thing you’re gonna get here is humiliation on top of humiliation.”

The Fake Janitor would normally have felt bad about bullying a legendary hero, but considering Gilgamesh planned on torturing his classmate… Yeah, even Shirou had things he considered unforgivable.

Medea giggled. “Maybe he’s the type who enjoys humiliation. It’s like Archer’s Master was trying to say, perhaps he’s only seeing things that he wants to see.”

“...” Gilgamesh did now know what was going on.

But it didn’t matter. He had been struggling until now, but that would all change once he drew Ea. Then he would swiftly crush all these mongrels and— Strange. He felt sluggish. Not even strong enough to draw his sword, even though his body was just fine.

The reason for that was because his will was being broken of course. The King of Heroes may have been strong enough to shrug off all the World’s Evils, but being bullied by a bunch of hot Heroic Spirits was just too much for any man on the planet.

Saber sighed. “I suppose such perverts do exist.” She genuinely was considering Caster’s words. King Arthur had known Merlin after all, she knew a pervert when she saw one. “In that case, take your delusions elsewhere, King of Heroes.”

Archer snorted. “He lost even the right to watch, now that is sad! Gyahahaha!” She wiped tears that were forming on the corner of her eyes. “You see that little Gil, you’ve been sent to the doghouse, so go there and be a good boy while the adults have fun!”

Shinsuke pointed at Gilgamesh. “Saber and I are going to love each other, and you can’t do anything about it. Loser.”

Saber nodded, and even if it hurt her pride as a knight, she repeated his words. “Loser.”

“Loser. Loser. Loser.” That word kept repeating itself, both from Shinsuke, from Shirou, and from the dignified heroes around him. It was the kind of miraculous sight that only the Holy Grail War could produce.

It was that sight Rin Tohsaka had been greeted to as she arrived at Ryuudou Temple with her Servant. “What the hell?” 

Her words were as silent as a whisper, but nonetheless the chanting immediately stopped. It was as if her arrival had broken some kind of spell. One could equate it to a parent who arrived home and saw his kids having incestuous sex. Especially since Rin really did feel like that parent right now.

“Master, Master, I think that guy is a loser.” Okita excitedly pointed at Gilgamesh. Well, with as much excitement as she could express at least.

“Y-yeah…” Was Rin hallucinating? That was something she seriously had to consider.

She was exhausted after all. After summoning her Servant she had zoomed through Fuyuki trying to find an opponent, she had no choice considering she was working on a clock. Due to bad luck however, she had failed until now.

Then the brilliant idea of coming to Ryuudou Temple struck her. Because clearly someone would have tried making such an amazing place their base.

Now, one might say invading such a base would have been suicidal… but at this point Rin was just too exhausted to consider that. Though unknown to the girl, perhaps the force of the coin had drawn her to this place.

So in the end, yes, there was a chance she was hallucinating.

Also, the Heroic Spirit who was getting bullied aside, what the hell was Emiya doing here? Was he the Master of one of those Servants that were not Archer? The little bastard! To think he was hiding himself as a mage all along!

Though the anger she felt towards him didn’t even compare to the anger she felt towards Shinsuke Yamaguchi—

“Tohsaka, you’re here!” He smiled as soon as he recognized her… and then had his brain melted for a bit as soon as he saw her Servant, now that was coin material—

Wait, Berserker was dead. Gilgamesh was… some class. Caster was coined. Archer was coined. Saber was coined. Rider was coined. So Rin’s Servant had to either be Lancer or Assasssin… And Gilgamesh was definitely not an Assassin.

Did he really have the space to coin another Servant and still win the Holy Grail War—? It didn’t matter, he could think about who he could and couldn’t coin later!

It goes without saying that the reason he had considered coining this unknown Servant was because she was a hot tanned woman. Could he really be blamed for that? “Please help us!” Shinsuke ignored Rin’s beautiful Servant, and focused on Rin’s beautiful self.

Why was everyone so hot around here? He was beginning to feel inadequate.

Rin looked affronted at his words. “Help you? You’re my biggest enemy!” She pointed at the loser— at the unknown Servant. “I might even join goldie over here to beat you!” 

Gilgamesh, suddenly having some support, laughed. “That’s right, join me girl and…” He suddenly stopped and let out a whine of pain. 

The King of Heroes reminded himself that in the end, the demonic mongrel would win no matter what, the actions of Rin Tohsaka could only delay the inevitable. What a cruel world this was.

Shinsuke took Gilgamesh’s silence as a chance to try and talk Rin into his side. “You can’t join that guy! I mean, don’t you see there’s a reason three Servants are ganging up on him!? He’s super evil!”

And he was going to super win if Rin joined him. Shinsuke didn’t know how strong her deliciously tanned Heroic Spirit was, but Gilgamesh by himself was already putting in a lot of work against three Servants. If he got an ally the balances really would completely break.

Shirou joined in too. “Yeah, Tohsaka! This golden cuck— bastard wants to literally torture Yamaguchi to death!” He now knew the School’s Idol was a magus.

And he knew mages could be extremely cruel. Nonetheless, Shirou Emiya wished to believe Rin had some decency to her.

“Torture…?” And Shirou Emiya was right. There was no way she would let someone torture Shinsuke! “Is that true?” She glared at the unknown Servant.

Right here and now, Gilgamesh could have turned the tide by just saying that it wasn’t true. Rin Tohsaka was looking for any and all excuses to fight Shinsuke Yamaguchi and regain her pride, after all.

But he was Gilgamesh, so of course he didn’t do that. “Yes. And afterwards I shall rape these pathetic women who have attacked me as well.” Not only that, but he dug himself into an even uglier coffin.

“Oh?” Rin’s eye twitched. “Saber, destroy him.”

King Arthur was confused for a moment, but Rin had been speaking with her own Servant. Okita glared at Gilgamesh with as much distaste as she could muster. “You’re a loser.”

A flustered Rin glared at her in response. “Not like that! I mean, actually kill him!” It was time to put an end to this playground bullying and actually fight like a dignified mage.

Okita tensed her body, and prepared herself. “Okay.” It was time to work with those three other Servants to do what her Master asked of her.

But before anyone could move… Gilgamesh started laughing. “Hahahahaha! This… never before have I…!” His mind could not even comprehend what was happening.

Had any other hero in history received such levels of humiliation? Gilgamesh couldn’t think of any, at least not any of his caliber. And the worst part is that he couldn’t even fight back, Shinsuke Yamaguchi had been victorious from the beginning. The King of Heroes had just been trying to feel less bad about it.

He truly did feel like a cuck—

As soon as his mind reached that conclusion, Gilgamesh stopped laughing. “So this is it, huh…” He scowled. “Very well, I’ll admit it… Shinsuke Yamaguchi… right now, you are strong!”

“Thanks…?” He felt pretty weak actually, seeing as his sword was eating through his hand. Shinsuke wasn’t gonna drop it though.

“But—!” Gilgamesh raised his sword. “Even if I lose, I won’t let you win! And that itself shall be victory!” Those were some scary words.

Everyone prepared themselves from suicide maneuver from the King of Heroes, and he had many within his Gate of Babylon. And that was not even mentioning how he had not even used Ea yet, which could grant him a victory in battle even against four Servants…

But did victory in battle even matter right now? Gilgamesh had already lost in life.

Besides, Ea had stopped being a guarantee of victory as soon as the Alter Ego had shown up. Gilgamesh knew how absurdly fast she was, he knew he would never get the chance to use his Noble Phantasm while being pressured by her and three other Servants.

So he used his fancy little dragon slaying Noble Phantasm and… stabbed himself in the neck. “There! Hahahahaha!” It was impressive that he could even talk. “If I kill myself, you will never get to kill me!” By the end, he was gurgling his own blood.

“I… I guess that’s right…”

And so, the King of Heroes (lost) won.



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AN: Originally I wrote a serious fight, but that just didn't feel right. So I rewrote it all and turned the victory condition from Nobu's NP, to Gil committing Frieren.

Pro betinha resta apenas o churrascamento... or something like that. Well, even until the end Gil coped himself into thinking he was being awesome.