My Life Turned Into A Chuunige VN 18

Kirei Kotomine, a priest and the mediator of this Holy Grail War.

Shinsuke Yamaguchi was sure the bastard was evil. Firstly he had come to this conclusion solely due to a lack of trust in the church. Then he had come to the conclusion that the priest was up to no good because his existence had interrupted Shinsuke’s amazing date with multiple girls… even though coming to see the priest had always been their original goals anyways.

And now… now that Shinsuke had come face to face with the man, he had a whole new reason why he thought Kirei Kotomine was evil.

“Woah dude, you’re way too tall and intimidating. You must be evil.” Shinsuke actually thought he himself was pretty tall, clearly he did not know what kind of fish swimmed in the Fuyuki pond until now.

No, but seriously, something about the priest just unnerved him. Maybe it was nothing of course, at this point Shinsuke had to admit that he wasn’t exactly the best at reading people, but… Right now he would trust his instincts. Kirei Kotomine was not a good person.

“Oh?” The priest raised an eyebrow. One would not be able to tell whether he was amused or insulted.

Illyasviel had to hold herself back from blushing out of embarrassment. “Ignore him. You are a priest, he is an Oni. This is to be expected.” A demon had entered a church and gotten angry. What a surprise. “Anyhow, we have some questions for you, priest.” It was time to get into business.

Kirei nodded. “Very well. I don’t suppose I am in any position where I can say no anyways.” He stole a glance at the people standing behind the homunculus.

Saber, Archer, and Caster. Even if those three were wearing… normal-ish clothes, and even if Illya herself was dressed in a ridiculous way, the presence of three Servants should still be enough to make anyone in the world afraid. Though funnily enough, Kirei didn’t look too scared, even if he was complying with their demands. 

Illya sighed. “Indeed. There’s no need to worry however, I have no intentions of forcing you to give me information that will give me a leg up on the war.” Cheating like that was just against her nature.

It wasn’t against Shinsuke’s nature of course, but sadly he was being forced into acting like a good boy. It was akin to a troublesome student who had to behave when it was time for their parents to visit the school.

“Very well then, but…” There was something Kirei was still curious about. “I do not see Berserker. Why is that?”

Illyasviel had already registered in the Holy Grail War previously, so he knew of her Heracles. The other three Servants were a complete mystery to him though… Well, he knew Saber. Just not who had summoned her this time.

He also knew of Caster. Both because he had previously interacted with her original Master, and due to information his own Servant had gathered, but… Right now she was not dressed like some super witch, making it hard to put the pieces together.

And when it came to Archer he was completely lost.

Though by seeing the Command Seals on the hand of the supposed Oni he could conclude that at least one of these three Servants was the boy’s tool. Just not which one.

Illya sputtered. “Berserker is… His location is none of your concern!” She’d rather forget about the biggest mistake of her life thus far. There was no need for the priest to remind her of it. “Just answer our questions already!”

“Ask them and I shall.” There was a great possibility of his giving out half-truths or just outright lying though. 

Shinsuke raised a hand. “Okay, here’s the first one. Are you evil?” It was better to skip ahead to the important questions.

Kirei chuckled, and actually began answering the question. “That is quite the heavy question young man. So before I can answer it, we must establish this… What is evil in the first place? The opposite of good? Something else? Assuming it is the first, then what is good—”

Shinsuke interrupted him. “That is the most evil answer anyone could have ever given. Archer, light this guy up.” It was time to break the rules and murder the supervisor of the Holy Grail War in cold blood.

…But Shinsuke Yamaguchi was not the type to condemn someone to death solely due to suspicion. He may have been eccentric, and he may have become even more eccentric as the war went on, but at the end of the day he was still a boy raised in modern day Japan, and so he had been taught the modern values one would have expected him to learn.

And yet, he still wanted Kirei Kotomine dead. That went to show how much the priest unnerved him.

Well, thankfully his Servant was a woman full of common sense— “One dead priest coming right up!” Oh right, Oda Nobunaga.

“...!” Kire braced himself.

The priest was good at reading people, but he had not imagined the boy standing in front of him was someone capable of this. Maybe he had been too overwhelmed by all the presences in the room to notice that he had been dealing with someone who was a truly dangerous Master?

Sadly for the world, the homunculus didn’t want the priest dead. “Stop you two! How are we supposed to learn anything from a corpse!?”

Archer slowly lowered her gun. “Necromancy…?”

Shinsuke raised an eyebrow. “Is that really possible?”

Caster, who had stayed silent thus far, spoke up. “Boy, just what do you think we are?” Did that make Shinsuke a necrophile? No, actually… He was just a Spectrophile. “But yes, we should not kill the priest.” It went without saying that she didn’t like the man as well though.

She knew her previous Master had been conspiring with the priest, after all. So Medea understood that the priest was the shady type who wouldn’t actually care about breaking any rules.

“...Ugh.” Shinsuke let out a groan of annoyance. “Fine then.” And just like that, Archer lowered her weapons.

If he was being honest, Shinsuke still wanted to kill the priest, and failing that he at least wanted to leave the church. He couldn't do the first though, and he refused to do the second and leave all his future girlfriends alone with this guy.

Just what was about Kirei Kotomine that unnerved him more than Gilgamesh did?

“Well then…” Kirei let out a sigh of relief. Even he was scared of death. “Let us begin the questioning.”

Illya crossed her arms. “Seeing as my partner is so trigger happy, I’ll skip straight to the point. Have you noticed anything strange about the Holy Grail War, priest?”

“I have not.” The current situation of the Holy Grail War wasn’t anything strange, seeing as he understood why it was acting the way it was. “Though I have been asked a similar question not too long ago. Tell me, is this about how the Holy Grail has summoned more than seven Servants?”

Illya clicked her tongue. “Tch. Of course it is. So, how did you even come across this information?”

Kirei smiled. “The Master of the Tohsaka family contacted me before this and explained what was going on—” To a certain extent at least.

Rin Tohsaka was a smart girl, and more importantly, she had been raised by Kirei Kotomine. And while that had gained him some amount of trust, it also meant she understood him far better than anyone. The girl had wisely been very secretive when talking with the priest.

Kirei Kotomine knew very little about the current war. Especially because the King of Heroes had decided to leave without saying anything, and his own personal dog seemed to have awful luck when it came to stumbling upon valuable information.

Shinsuke gasped. “Tohsaka came here!?” He wasn’t surprised that Rin was doing her own investigation of course, but he was kind of sad he didn’t run into her.

“Indeed. Do you know her?” The boy did look around Rin’s age.

“I…” Shinsuke pointed at the priest. “I guess there’s no hiding that I do now, but don’t expect anything from me, I’m not giving you anything!” 

“If you say so…” Kirei wisely chose to not point out how Ilyasviel had already given him information in the form of calling the boy a Oni. “About the other matter, I am afraid there isn’t much I can say about it. In fact, I imagine you know more about this than I do, Einzbern.”

He put a hand on his chin. “Although… there is that system, the system of Apocrypha, do you know of it—?”

Illya cut him off. “Yes, yes, two teams, a Ruler, I understand the basics. This is clearly not what is happening here.” Or at least that didn’t seem to be the case. “Well, if you have nothing else to tell us, I suppose I’ll be taking my leave.”

There was one piece of information she didn’t bring up. The fact that she had not absorbed Gilgamesh, and she hadn’t told the priest specifically about Gilgamesh either. Why…?

Because, much as she loathed to admit it, the homunculus also felt something was wrong with the priest. Taking that into account maybe it was better to keep some cards close to her chest.

Kirei bowed. “Then, I wish you good luck, Lady Einzbern. May all your wishes come true.”



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“...” Shinsuke frowned, looking as if his family had died. “Matou, I’m gonna make some hot choco for you. Just sit there.” As her future boyfriend, it was time to get to work.

An enemy on the level of Gilgamesh had appeared… No, it was something much worse. At the end of things the King of Heroes had been a cuck that was easily defeated. Meanwhile, this enemy was one that haunted humanity for centuries…!

Sakura was sick. She started feeling bad during class, so she was released early. Shirou, feeling paranoid with the recent Holy Grail War business, decided to bring her home where she could be guarded by a bunch of Servants.

Shinsuke agreed with his assessment, but mostly because he didn’t trust Sakura hanging around Shinji while sick. Something about that just screamed Bad End to him.

Sakura smiled. “Thank you for the offer Yamaguchi-Senpai, but there’s really no need.”

Shinsuke shook his head. “The fact that you’re rejecting hot choco truly shows how bad this sickness is! I’m going to make some posthaste!” And with those words, he ran out of the room at the speed of lightning.

Shirou snorted. “That guy is always working at one hundred percent energy, huh?” It kind of reminded him of Taiga. It truly was a small miracle the two hurricanes had never met. “That aside, are you sure you’re going to be okay, Sakura?”

Slowly she nodded. “Uhum… And if I can be honest, I am looking forward to hot choco.” 

Shirou chuckled. “Hahaha, maybe I should have offered to make you some then, sorry.” He had a feeling Yamaguchi wouldn’t be the greatest cook— Yamaguchi was going to use his kitchen!? “Anyways, if you need something just call Illya, okay!?” He rushed through the words.

He needed to get to the kitchen as fast as possible to stop a disaster from happening. After all, even if Shinsuke Yamaguchi turned out to be a decent cook in a stroke of luck… He didn’t trust the boy to handle anything after he came back from his investigation with zero information, and a blushing Saber dressed like a little princess.

The Fake Janitor didn’t know if he should discount points for the latter, or give points.

As for why he had thrown the job of taking care of Sakura at Illya? Because Illya herself had given Shirou and Shinsuke their own jobs. She wanted the two to investigate some cave. She hadn’t explained why, but it was pretty obvious it had to with the grail.

“I will, Senpai.” Sakura didn’t know why, but she felt as if she could trust Illyasviel.

Maybe just as some people naturally didn’t get along — That is to say, Shirou Emiya and Oda Nobunaga — Sometimes the reverse could happen.



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“Gah…!” Rin Tohsaka was about to rip out her own hair. “Why can’t I make any progress!?” She had just scratched out another dumb mark on her little map. 

The girl had been investigating points with leylines, so see if she could find out anything about what was going on with the Holy Grail. So far, she had zero success. Considering this territory literally belonged to her, such a thing was unacceptable.

Seriously, her luck was the worst! She was on a time limit here, she couldn’t afford to waste time!

Maybe she should just go find Yamaguchi and kill him already—

“Ah…!” Alter Ego woke up with a surprised shout. “Did something happen, Master?”

Rin shook her head. “No, feel free to go back to sleep.” She had gotten past the point of chastising her Servant for doing such a thing. Besides, considering Alter Ego was constantly risking disappearing, her power naps were probably a good habit.

“Hmm… Okay.” Okita suddenly blushed. “Hey Master, can I ask you something?”

Rin waved her off. “Sure, go ahead.”

“Is it normal for a girl to dream about a handsome guy—?”

“What kind of question is that!?” Rin didn’t even know Servants could dream, much less dream about such embarrassing things. Was her tool of war having wet dreams!? Why did her tool of war feel comfortable sharing the fact that she was having wet dreams!?

Okita looked away. “You said I could ask you…”

“...I lied.” She clicked her tongue. “Tch. Stay awake though, because we are moving. I want to check out the Ryuudou Temple.” She had already gone there in the past of course.

But since things were so messed up, she didn’t really manage to investigate anything. Hell, her decision to start investigating things came from when she first set foot upon that place in the first place. Still, this was something she’d rather avoid doing, she just did it anyway because she was getting desperate.

“Okay.” Without any other words, Okita picked up Rin as if she was her bride.

This was the Okita taxi service.

“Hmm… So comfortable.” The mage couldn’t help but mutter out some embarrassing words.

Not everything about this Holy Grail War had been catastrophic.



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“Lancer.” Kirei Kotomine called upon his dog.

His dog that didn't look happy at all. “What?” Lancer was quite obviously angry. Not that the priest cared for the dog’s emotions. Especially since Lancer had been more or less angry since the start of the war.

Due to Kirei’s actions of course, but still… “I want you to go and investigate Ryuudou Temple.” 

Lancer raised an eyebrow. “Again? You want me to go full throttle against that Assassin this time?” The dog had visited that place before, and had been met with a skilled warrior. Sadly, the priest had forced him to retreat.

Kirei smiled. “If need be. I imagine you will find no Assassin there, however.” The truth is that the priest didn’t expect Lancer to find anything but wanton destruction.

Gilgamesh had more or less gone missing, but the last time his power had been felt was during a clash at the temple. And now Kirei wished to learn exactly what had happened. Hopefully the King of Heroes wouldn’t find his actions too intrusive.

Lancer scowled. “I really hope that isn’t the case. I have missed way too much already.” When was the last time that he had fought!? This was supposed to be a war, right!?

It might be stupid, but the Irish hero was really hoping his legendarily bad luck could fuck him over already! He was thirsting for some real conflict!



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“Rider, let’s go to the Ryuudou Temple.” Shinji Matou was finally going to make his move, and it didn’t involve the little plan he had concocted at his school.

The boy understood that he should wait until that was over before doing this — Because Rider was in clear need of more power — But no, his patience had run out. So it was time to finally act and get his revenge.

Rider nodded. “Very well.” She had just finished a meal, so she was in a fairly good mood. Sakura being sick would have ruined that mood, but the girl got to leave the house for a while due to it, so she was actually in a great mood.

She was curious about what her current Master had in mind though. “But why the Ryuudou Temple?” Asking Shinji was always dangerous, since he could snap at any time, but much like her, he seemed in a good mood.

Shinji grinned. “From what I’ve been hearing, it’s a place Yamaguchi likes to frequent. So I’m going to see if he’s there… and if he is, then I’ll finally kill him.” It paid to be popular. The Master of Rider knew pretty much every single rumor about Yamaguchi now, and all it took was some little investigating.

He didn’t manage to figure out where the boy lived, but… if Shinsuke Yamaguchi thought skipping class was enough to avoid his fate, he was mistaken!



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“Haaah…” The man watching atop his tower let out a long sigh. “So the curtains are being drawn. Well, at least I put a stop to the worst case scenario. Hopefully.” The Mage of Flowers had done the best it could, but in the end he wasn’t omniscient.

Still, while he didn’t really feel angry at the situation, he definitely felt frustrated. Why did the Grail ever believe this was its opportunity to finally win? Had that thing been so blinded by hatred and disgust that it forgot such emotions were actually fairly weak in the first place? 

No, it hadn’t been hatred that blinded it, it had been love.

That filthy thing fell in love and acted like that tsundere thing Merlin had recently heard about from that stupidly arrogant boy. By rejecting that love, and trying to act as if nothing had happened, it was only natural that it got consumed.

Well, it couldn’t be helped now. Humanity had to face its own tribulations and conquer them. It had no excuses to lose, especially since a Counter Guardian had joined the fray. It was time for that Okita girl to do her job and prove she wasn’t hired accidentally!

Jokes aside, this really wasn’t good. 

Now… could an egg beat a chicken? 



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AN: This should be the last chapter of this fic's "prologue". We are now going to up the chuuni to 200%!

This type of plotline was something I've been wanting to do since the Sakura mommy fic, so I'm super excited! It's gonna be a ton of fun to write!