Jazz Baby pages 84-88
Added 2020-06-28 10:48:35 +0000 UTCCan: discussions of drug abuse and addiction
I think what made this the hardest part for me to draw was that I’ve always felt it should have ended here. We should have followed up with each other, and we shouldn’t have believed that a heartfelt conversation would fix things.
If someone you care about is suffering from addiction please continue the conversation, check up, but most importantly know that you are not responsible for their actions.
There’s a lot more that I want to say on the topic but this isn’t a soapbox, you’re here for a comic, and I hope you’re at least finding it engaging!
Side note! Please know that it is breaking my heart to draw Aziraphale in loose fitting clothing 😭
Comments
This isn't just a comic. It's a message and a story and a very, very important one. Thank you for telling it.
Ashfae
2020-06-29 10:22:18 +0000 UTCT^T heartbreaking
Lisa Pendragyn
2020-06-29 03:49:04 +0000 UTC😭 so heartbreaking. Addiction is SO hard. You are writing this so beautifully, i look forward to these updates so much
Bran Mackie
2020-06-29 02:56:15 +0000 UTC🙀💔😿😭😭😭
rippingoffmyface
2020-06-29 00:54:12 +0000 UTCAziraphale 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️
Kenzie
2020-06-28 20:47:28 +0000 UTCweirdly this is currently happening in a part of my irl and OH MAN. The feelings here. You always ALWAYS want to believe that first time the person you love tells you it's over and they have it handled. And it never is. HUGS so much Whiteley. I know you are here to draw a comic and we're here for the art too but this is important and I thank you for sharing part of yourself here. <3
pyracantha
2020-06-28 19:59:20 +0000 UTCUgh, yeah when I go back I can see all the clothes are hanging off him. The poor thing. Thank you for writing this important story, Whiteley 💚
litlgreenleaf
2020-06-28 19:38:31 +0000 UTCI'm crying
Linda
2020-06-28 19:09:23 +0000 UTCAlso, I’m not sure what your reasoning was here, but not making it clear what drug is involved is very powerful. I’ve seen lives destroyed by cigarettes long before disease could ever set in. It really makes the point that addiction is the real issue.
Hannah
2020-06-28 18:42:30 +0000 UTCCrowley in #86 is just heart breaking, those eyes! 💔 I feel for both of them so much here! I wasn’t sure if Aziraphale was going to go in this direction after last week, or if it would be more towards breaking down and saying why he felt he needed the drugs in the first place. I feel like all those bad feelings are actively hurting him along with everything else as he cries. Even if it was unintentional on Aziraphale’s end, using Crowley’s insecurities about having fallen and not being a perfect being fits the story perfectly tragically. I’m sorry for the similar pain that you and yours went through 😞 Also please feel free to soap box as much as you want! You are doing something amazingly brave by sharing something so personal and important with all of us in such an honest and beautiful way. I also understand if you feel like doing so makes you more vulnerable. I feel like art is revolutionary, and your art is *never* an exception to this rule. Jazz Baby (beyond being a visually stunning comic that expertly uses color to convey tone in concert with exquisitely done facial expressions) has a very important story to tell from a perspective we don’t always hear. Some of the news stories I see about addiction can be so dehumanizing, it’s hard to see how some aren’t pushing people away from getting help. I think it’s monumentally important for the world to hear stories like yours that are human and that come from a place of personal experience and love.
Hannah
2020-06-28 18:40:15 +0000 UTCI've heard that so many times. "I've got this, I can quit." Crowley is going to need the demon equivalent of Alanon. You;re only responsible for your own actions, not your angel's.
BiP
2020-06-28 18:35:29 +0000 UTC"I have it under control" No, you don't. While my sister was a psychiatric nurse, the hospital still received addicts. Unfortunately, most of them had to want to be helped, otherwise the nurses couldn't do anything. We don't have anything resembling a rehab program where I live, and that just adds to the problem.
Genesis Calderon Borgos
2020-06-28 18:30:18 +0000 UTCIt’s heartbreaking but beautifully done. I know this is hard for you and I appreciate that your efforts here could start a conversation. I think our society’s attitude toward addiction, treating it as a self control issue rather than a medical problem that requires medical and mental treatment is part of our problem. I don’t know how it would be in the UK but probably much the same. ❤️
Ariana Lipman
2020-06-28 17:36:41 +0000 UTCOh geez. This is so heartbreaking. I know enough about addiction to know how it goes from here. Poor both of them!!
Ineffable Penguin
2020-06-28 17:27:27 +0000 UTCOh, Crowley, of course you trust Aziraphale, but he's not in control right now. You can't trust this addiction. Please don't take a year-long nap now! Check on him. A lot. Please...
Anita Harkess
2020-06-28 17:15:03 +0000 UTCKeep coming back to look at this. “The next time you see me...” this is a dismissal. He may be hugging Crowley, but Crowley is being pushed away, not welcomed back. This is no reconciliation. 💔
twilightcitysky
2020-06-28 17:02:26 +0000 UTCI've had this conversation with someone I loved in my life. "Believe me. I'd believe you." Gah. That just punched me right in the face with feels.
Laura Bee
2020-06-28 16:43:37 +0000 UTCCrowley's face in the second panel. I just... agh. This is absolutely gorgeous and I know it's tough to write and draw this; I consider it a deep gift that you're offering us.
Ellie
2020-06-28 16:33:07 +0000 UTCUp for interpretation, though cocaine was popular at the time :/
Whiteley Foster
2020-06-28 15:00:14 +0000 UTCAmazing dialogue work. Every word is a bullseye to Crowley’s emotional jugular and your art shows it landing oh so beautiful and heartbreaking
Melanie
2020-06-28 14:43:37 +0000 UTCI don’t think people would mind if you said what you wanted to say, this is your platform after all, and you don’t have to read the author’s note to enjoy the comic. But I’ll bet there are some here who would want to hear what you have to say. Some of us know what this is like, but some of us don’t. Unfortunately, I do. As of this update, this is harder than I thought it would be. How, knowingly or not, he leans on Crowley’s guilt here, with the tears, the demon/angel talk, the “I’d believe you”. That’s what killed me.
Nicky Lee
2020-06-28 14:15:07 +0000 UTCIn addiction medicine, I’ve heard it said that the need for the drug is like the need to breathe. That’s why it can tear lives apart, supersede every relationship and cause people to make promises that they cannot keep. It’s like saying, “yes, I love you, I love you so much I will stop breathing.” It’s very, very hard to keep a promise like that- no matter how much you love. Kicking addiction is almost impossible without help. My heart breaks for your characters; it’s a hard road ahead. Crowley’s expression in panel 2 is complex and luminous and perfect.
twilightcitysky
2020-06-28 14:07:35 +0000 UTCI'm dreading the next part of the story....but anticipating it nonetheless!
Melina Barbuto
2020-06-28 13:08:11 +0000 UTCWhat is he on?
The Manxome Foe
2020-06-28 13:02:37 +0000 UTCThis is beautiful and heart breaking 💔 I love each and every one of your updates. Their expressions, their body language, how sweet they both are 😢
IneffableKink
2020-06-28 13:01:03 +0000 UTCIt's heartbreaking to see Aziraphale breaking down like that! Oh, he knows he has a big, serious problem. And it's true: you can only help if the addicts wants help. It's also true that only the addict can change things. I just hope Zira finds the strength to get clean - what ever it is he's taking. But I have to add how beautifully drawn this scene is! The look on Crowley's face, the way he hugs Aziraphale and the way they cling to each other in the last drawing... my poor darlings! You really are an excellent storyteller!
Samara Lilly (Sandra)
2020-06-28 12:47:22 +0000 UTCPrecious child!! So glad he has Crowley to be there for him!!
Melissa
2020-06-28 12:43:39 +0000 UTCthis whole Aziraphale's speech is tearing my heart apart, oh my, it hurts to see him in this state, in loose clothes, wrecked and not in control of his life, and I know he probably doesn't mean anything bad about Crowley in particular by his words "you're the demon after all" and he would never say this words being well and sober, but these words punched the air out of my lungs and I focused on this panel, rereading and rereading it over and over again 😔 and it's hard to witness this stage of blaming *his body*, *his fate*, which might be a somewhat denial, that only later turns into acceptance, and Crowley's desperate desire to believe in all good, to have hope, ohhhh as a person fortunate not to ever had been through such a drug addiction from any side, I do not have enough experience to know how this feels like, but my heart goes to anyone who went or is going through this ❤️ and, Whiteley, I hope, you'll feel free to say all that you need to share, what you feel like you have to say, bc I don't think for anyone here it's "just a comic", I mean, any art you make is not "just art", especially here on patreon ❤️ if it's your place of needed therapy, your comfortable platform, I'm almost sure everyone here would be very supportive about anything you say, especially on such a hard and important topic ❤️
sick_pineapple
2020-06-28 12:42:55 +0000 UTCThank you again so much for sharing this story 💜
strawhat4life
2020-06-28 12:26:50 +0000 UTCI'm glad that he doesn't go to sleep right away. Hopefully he can manage to show his angel that he cares, before falling asleep. But I dread the next parts.... (and LOVE them...)
Bobla Blubb
2020-06-28 12:25:52 +0000 UTCno matter how many 'good talks' you have, unless the addict doesn't want to quick by themselves you can't do a thing. it is their own choice. sometimes you have to lose it all to come back to your senses. 😔 the fall may be unbearable for a while but what follows is a new LIFE and that's worth it.
Tony
2020-06-28 11:47:23 +0000 UTCWe have two more parts before he decides to go to sleep :) it’s 1926 and he wakes up from his year long sleep in 1928. Not that 1927 will be any less painful 😅
Whiteley Foster
2020-06-28 11:31:23 +0000 UTCJudging by the sketches below this post, Crowley believes him and goes to bed and sleeps for a year? And wakes up to find crazed fem Azi? Oh dear oh dear oh dear!
Bobla Blubb
2020-06-28 11:29:41 +0000 UTCMy heart is breaking for them both! 😭😭😭
sparksearcher
2020-06-28 11:21:35 +0000 UTC'I have it under control'..... famous last words....
Bobla Blubb
2020-06-28 11:20:28 +0000 UTCStories with greater meaning are the best. And as a side note I really hope this one will come out as a book as well!
Jean Jarvis
2020-06-28 11:20:11 +0000 UTCOh Zira 😭💔 my heart hurts for him and Crowley, look after your angel please Crowley
Pears
2020-06-28 11:09:37 +0000 UTC...i feel like Aziraphale is slightly guilting him when he says he doesn't need crowleys help and that he would believe in him if Crowley was in the same position. :( Only sounds like he's trying to get him off his back. I hope that isn't the case. Also Seriously...just cause he's a demon doesn't mean he would be into hard drugs, stop saying that azira
Madcheshirefox
2020-06-28 11:09:16 +0000 UTCyesss..... don't just believe him... We've heard the words but it's the action that counts. This is so heart breaking. And you draw it so beautifully... Hopefully Crowley is experienced enough to know you need to keep watch, follow up... I doubt Aziraphale can do it without help... oh... dear... I find myself holding my breath and waiting for this to be updated every Sunday - I love it, even when it makes me cry..
Marie Schröder - Marsch_00
2020-06-28 11:06:31 +0000 UTC🥺😭😭💔 Poor baby!
Nads (@teslatherat)
2020-06-28 10:56:24 +0000 UTCOh my babies :(
Emma Atkinson
2020-06-28 10:56:20 +0000 UTCOh this is heart-breaking. "I'll be better" 😢
Fyre
2020-06-28 10:56:16 +0000 UTCMy heart is broken.... Crowley's too 😭 Too much feels here
AleenaBite
2020-06-28 10:52:56 +0000 UTCOh no, angel. I'm so worried for him. "You're the demon" though, honestly. Stop that. He's here trying to help you and everything.
Vee
2020-06-28 10:52:07 +0000 UTC(I don't mind the soapbox) Oh Aziraphale... I hope he can accept Crowley's help
Tarek Giver of Cookies
2020-06-28 10:51:53 +0000 UTCUuuuughhhh I don't need my heart at 4 AM my feels oh god my feels!!!!
TheeeDJSiren
2020-06-28 10:51:03 +0000 UTCNo you have not 😭😭😭
Sarah Marino
2020-06-28 10:51:01 +0000 UTC
