Jazz Baby pages 130-134
Added 2020-08-16 10:42:43 +0000 UTC*heavily implies that they were on the Titanic*
Last week and this week have been a really complicated and emotional couple of updates for me. There is just so much shame in this situation. It doesn’t mean that what the addicted person did wasn’t painful for you, it doesn’t mean that your hurt wasn’t justified. In the end many people still feel like they could have done more even if there was literally nothing that would have helped. What would have been different? Would it have changed anything at all? It’s hard to think like this. It’s hard not to think like this. I don’t have the answers to a lot of these problems, just my own experience, and I’m still learning every day. We just have to learn and move forward together if both parties are ready and willing and ready. And remember that if you are in Crowley’s situation there is nothing wrong with getting help, being someone’s rock is hard. You deserve support too.
In my own situation the forgiveness was so quick, we were so ready to help each other because we both carried so much guilt. We are still learning to let that go of that guilt and I don’t know if ever will be gone completely, I don’t know if continuing a conversation like this will reopen old wounds. I’m scared. I’m learning. I’m moving forward because standing still is a death sentence for us both. I’m just one person, but I can do this a little at a time.
Comments
Ohhh I love this page! The emotion in Crowley's face, the soft hug they share… oh it's absolutely perfect
CuddlyHawk
2020-08-23 16:51:53 +0000 UTCAddiction and recovery is such a difficult process. It is so important that we talk and share stories. Thank you for sharing yours and this lovely one. I love Crowley's painted toes! 🖤
Kat Holtz
2020-08-18 04:59:58 +0000 UTCYour strength and courage in sharing these pieces with such honesty provide comfort to those dealing with addiction and addicts. Thank you for that. It is a comfort to me. And of course your amazing work! ❤️
Ariana Lipman
2020-08-17 21:26:08 +0000 UTCThis is one of the most important things you are doing - for fans like me and others as well. The fact that you realize the struggle is never done is so rough, but it's the same for life as well. You just keep going.
Goat Matron
2020-08-17 02:47:29 +0000 UTCIs he missing his polish in the 4th panel, or maybe his feet are in a different position (its night and I'm on mobil!)
Goat Matron
2020-08-17 02:45:18 +0000 UTCIt's really touching to see them communicate now even while they carry so many hurt feelings to resolve. I really appreciate that kind of portrayal and also that moment of brevity at the end (I 100% headcanon they were on the Titanic and it makes me laugh everytime so ~)
Glissando365
2020-08-16 23:28:42 +0000 UTCThis hurts me i cant wait for them to be happy
Bre
2020-08-16 22:49:57 +0000 UTCThis story is amazing and hits so many nuances perfectly. Thank you for sharing it with us! There is no way it couldn’t be difficult ❤️ Also the art is just gorgeous, as always.
Hannah
2020-08-16 22:44:38 +0000 UTCThis is amazing and just so magnificent. I was so worried this story would hurt, but it’s been really cathartic. You’re a master storyteller and brilliant when capturing emotions. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Michelle
2020-08-16 22:16:43 +0000 UTC🤩😭🥰
rippingoffmyface
2020-08-16 22:16:16 +0000 UTCDespite all the pain and angst in the last updates, they also have the very bestest hugs! That embrace in the fountain, so tender and loving and intense and yet healing - and this bathtub hug, so wonderful and warm and comforting and so filled with love for each other! These wonderful hugs and the love between them, now showing clearly, is what will help them heal. And Crowley finally breaking down and crying so hard, is absolutely heartbreaking, but so beautiful when angel embraces him tightly from behind.
Bobla Blubb
2020-08-16 21:12:44 +0000 UTCI didn't know I had always wanted Aziraphale hugging Crowley's shoulders from behind like that but oh, I did, I really did.
Ashfae
2020-08-16 20:31:10 +0000 UTCIt's so good to see them talking and on their way to get better. Together. But Crowley crying so hard is breaking my little heart. And the way Aziraphale hugs him from behind is so lovely... I love this story so much, thank you for evey update!
Samara Lilly (Sandra)
2020-08-16 20:24:04 +0000 UTCDifficult moments in life are always the most hard to tell, but sometimes it is good to tell them in your own way. Not only for yourself to progress and lift some weight of your heart and shoulders, but also for others who have to deal with the same hardship. Thank you for sharing it with us.
DaireySyns
2020-08-16 19:31:05 +0000 UTCIt’s so nice to see some tenderness again between these boyos. Loving each other and learning or relearning how to love oneself helps set the path towards healing. The feels come through so clearly in these panels!
AJ Constantine
2020-08-16 18:34:36 +0000 UTCThose shoulder freckles ❤ I love how you're telling this story. I feel like it isn't told enough.
Aislinn Skye Haselden
2020-08-16 18:34:13 +0000 UTCwhy does. crowley always look amazing while crying?! also, black toenails too!
flutefiend
2020-08-16 18:01:35 +0000 UTCOh, Crowley. You’re not his keeper and you can’t blame yourself for his actions. Though I think it is really hard NOT to feel guilty when someone you care about hurts themselves and you will always question yourself and wonder if you should have done more. This is lovely and I hope it is therapeutic. I am also insanely envious of that enormous bathroom.
Kostgard
2020-08-16 17:28:46 +0000 UTC❤️❤️❤️❤️
Kokeshi Ki
2020-08-16 17:25:07 +0000 UTCAbsolutely gorgeous. This is such a powerful story, thanks so much for sharing. Also can I say how GORGEOUS Crowley is in these panels?? The hair and freckles.... I just adore the way you draw both of them!
Bran Mackie
2020-08-16 16:35:24 +0000 UTCYou are so incredibly strong for sharing your story, it's absolutely wonderful that you can turn this not only into a beautiful and inspiring story for others but a way to heal for yourself. 💜 Best wishes to you and your friend love
Warps_Cosplays
2020-08-16 15:53:56 +0000 UTCThank you for sharing your story, it's so important to share this stuff and I'm so glad you did 💙
strawhat4life
2020-08-16 14:45:13 +0000 UTCThis is difficult stuff, but I still can't help smiling at lil angel in a bathtub.
CopperBeech
2020-08-16 14:33:13 +0000 UTCThank you so much for sharing this story with us 💛 this was a sad but beautiful update 💛
Shadow Kana
2020-08-16 14:23:31 +0000 UTCThank you for sharing this journey with us - both yours and theirs 💕 But in brighter news that hug panel is so gorgeous!
Melina Barbuto
2020-08-16 14:01:00 +0000 UTCThank you for sharing this with us 💜And for sharing so many of Crowley’s freckles
Joelle trousdale
2020-08-16 13:52:35 +0000 UTCThis is a rough story, but an important one to tell. I think you are telling it wonderfully <3. Also I chortled at the Titanic bit.
Wargoddess9
2020-08-16 12:36:32 +0000 UTCThank you so much for sharing this 💛
Atelerix
2020-08-16 12:32:14 +0000 UTC::melts with tenderness:: ::oops wait maybe I'm not melting, maybe it's actual tears:: The way Crowley is clenching his hands while sobbing feels so viscerally relatable, and that bathtub hug is the SOFTEST. And can I just heap praise on the background here? The light fixture? The subway tiles? The windowpane reflection? We're talking about perfection.
cozygothmode
2020-08-16 12:09:26 +0000 UTCYou're so very brave ❤️
Nads (@teslatherat)
2020-08-16 11:34:27 +0000 UTC❤️
Terra SilverShade
2020-08-16 11:28:12 +0000 UTCLove the second to last panel ♥️ Thanks for generosity in sharing your story and turning it into something healing. Best of luck to you and your friend x
Ali
2020-08-16 11:22:39 +0000 UTC❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Patolozka
2020-08-16 11:15:26 +0000 UTCThank you so much for revealing your experience, Whiteley. I think it's not only about the peculiar circumstances like Crowley and Azi (I mean using of.. that stuff), but in every situation when one party is seriously ill and losing personal control due to it.
nilin89
2020-08-16 11:13:34 +0000 UTCLove that hug in the second to last panel and that Crowley holds onto his sense of humor enough to joke about the Titanic. Thank you for trusting us with this story. Much love to you and your friend! ❤️❤️❤️
sparksearcher
2020-08-16 11:12:29 +0000 UTCoh, they both needed this hug, how they are clinging to the warm touch and comfort 🥺 such a delicate, precious moment for them, sharing what they really feel like for the first time in so many years 😔 and Crowley, oh Crowley, seeing him finally break like this, after years and years of being *strong*, opening about how he really feels and how he hates himself projecting it on what Aziraphale thinks of him, oh, I can't even imagine how many times his mind wandered off to that evening when he took Aziraphale out, how many times he wished he'd never done it, how all the best times they had there are now forever covered in dark colours of bad things that followed, oh Crowley... "I'm happy when I'm with you" and Crowley trying to pull himself together and making a joke about Titanic (btw, great hc!) broke me, I'm sitting here crying over all the guilt and struggle they went through to get to this point where things might finally change for good 😢 and I'll never stop saying it, thank you, Whiteley, for trusting us with this story and with your personal experience, and I know that I can't really help, but I'm sending you all the virtual love and support ❤️❤️❤️
sick_pineapple
2020-08-16 11:00:37 +0000 UTCOh Whiteley ❤️
IneffableKink
2020-08-16 10:59:47 +0000 UTCyes..... this..... <3
Marie Schröder - Marsch_00
2020-08-16 10:55:01 +0000 UTCI love that they can freely hug. My younger son used drugs for a while and I was devastated. It's the last now, but I can understand the guilt feeling which I will carry for all my life. Thank you for putting this in kind drawings. ❤️❤️
egmon73
2020-08-16 10:51:38 +0000 UTCCrowley's hair. Those tears. That hug. ❤
Naomi
2020-08-16 10:49:18 +0000 UTCI want to say that i feel you even if i've not been in that situation yet. But i know what addiction feels like and how destructive it can be to relationships. Eventually i can only learn to adapt and break the habits. This update is wonderful and you are full of bravery Whiteley. Thank you for your incredible stories♥️♥️♥️
Nekocat
2020-08-16 10:48:54 +0000 UTCI wish you all the best, my love. It's really helpful to hear your experience for those of us who have been addicted to something, or those who love an addict. Only share if you feel comfortable and stop when it becomes uncomfortable. You are an amazing, talented artist and I hope everything gets brighter for you. Sending love ♥️
Grace Easlea
2020-08-16 10:48:41 +0000 UTCYou're so strong sharing this story with us. Tones of love for you and your friend 💜
LukeMJ
2020-08-16 10:48:39 +0000 UTCThis last picture is so sweet. So much comfort.
Angela Antis
2020-08-16 10:48:02 +0000 UTCAww, that last and second-last panel. ❤️❤️ These bbs.
M
2020-08-16 10:47:09 +0000 UTC💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Alex Booer
2020-08-16 10:46:23 +0000 UTCI'm SO happy i just woke up 🤣 that hug... And Crowley clinging to his arm.. 💕💕
the.kitsuneko
2020-08-16 10:45:34 +0000 UTC
