Howdy friends,
Been a bit quiet on the video and patreon front for a while, not necessarily for a lack of trying just other external reasons delaying things somewhat, I'll explain a little more in detail below but for those not interested in reading my ramblings the TLDR is
Had a rough couple of months, found it difficult to work at my usual pace. Feeling a lot better now, excited to dive back into my usual routine. Thanks for your patience!
Ok, so with that out of the way here's the dealio. about 10 months ago a close family member of ours took very ill very suddenly, not only was this a debilitating illness requiring close attention pretty much 24/7 but the long-term prognosis was dire even in the best-case scenario. Now this is difficult for a lot of reasons, but since my partner and I moved from Ireland to the UK a few years back, this also meant we had to travel back and forward quite regularly, causing issues with our day jobs, mental health, financial stability, etc. Long story short, it fucking sucked and there wasn't much we could do about it until things just reached their natural conclusion, which is now where we're at. On one hand, it's very sad and on the other, it's good to finally be somewhat passed the worst of it, and I can focus a lot more attention on just being there for my partner who is truly bearing the worst of the situation.
Needless to say, it's negatively affected the speed and enthusiasm with which I tackle my work here on YouTube. That Capcom video, in particular, was a tough one, it was partially there to keep me distracted and focused, and personally, in retrospect while I'm very happy with that video overall, I think tackling a project of that scale with behind-the-scenes stuff playing on my mind wasn't the right way to go about things, but as I said I just needed something as an outlet to keep me distracted and at the very least it did just that.
The problem however is that I carried this tremendous sense of anxiety with me after that video launched. I'm an anxious guy at the best of times, but for whatever reason I just could not relax after that video was out. I knew I didn't want to work on anything immediately because I wanted to reset and unwind a little but, I just found it a struggle to get back to anything really and this went on for weeks. It was probably a complicated mixture of anxiety from life and burnout from working on the Capcom video for so long, but it was intense whatever it was.
As with anything time heals a lot, and I made a conscious effort to spend more time with friends outside IRL which helped a lot as it was something I've had a hard time doing since moving country. I also disassociated from social media for a bit (aka just twitter which was particularly awful for a period. seriously take a social media break it does wonders for you)
I also took the time to try some other creative outlets, mainly I finally invested some time into learning a DAW (Digital Audio Workstation, FL Studio to be exact) since I've always been interested in making music and figured it would benefit the channel production-wise to be able to create my own stuff. Also, for the longest time I've wanted to make a video looking at various DAWs that made it onto the PlayStation (Music, Music 2000, Beat Planet Music, Fluid etc.) and I knew it would benefit me greatly if I had experience with a modern DAW beforehand, since I would be able to compare the experience of using an early console variant to something new.
In that time I've managed to release 6 songs under my musical alias DJ Gex 3D. These are very much just meant to be experiments with different techniques and genres, so I could continue to learn and I find you learn best by just creating and putting it out there for the world. This isn't something that is meant to overtake my YouTube and video game work, just a little creative outlet on the side that I hope will compliment the channel in time, but for now, I found it quite therapeutic to dive into and play around with, so if you want to check any of it out, it's on Bandcamp, Spotify, Apple Music, etc.
https://djgex3d.bandcamp.com/
https://open.spotify.com/artist/6gHdcgJ6wUgLd8CRrhUC9G?si=AfW9zGQfRUa_xxhLfxbQ_w
As for video work, despite all that I've said above I was still kinda working away on the next video (Obscure Vol.16) albeit more slowly than usual. The 4 games have been picked and I'm through 3/4, the last one is oddly lengthy and not in a good way so that's holding things up a bit. Also one of the games is truly one of the worst things I've ever played, a miserable experience. Bad for me, but will almost be certainly good for the video!
So even though it's taking a while, you can rest assured I'm still working away and from today I feel like I can finally start moving at my usual pace again so hopefully it won't be too long until it's finished and out there for you all.
Otherwise, I just wanted to let you know I'm doing better than I have in a while, no need to worry about me! I still have my love for the game, I still want to make videos for myself and people like you! Hopefully, it won't be so long until you hear from me again but until then thank you for your ongoing support and for being so patient and kind.
Much love,
Sean
(Ps. Plenty of cat pictures! Also, I opened an Instagram page where I will almost exclusively post cat pictures so feel free to follow if you're so inclined!) https://www.instagram.com/seanseansonyt?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
Sean Seanson
2024-10-28 19:13:55 +0000 UTCHowie
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