[TG] From Punk to Pop - Part 3

“I…I…”

This could not have gone more poorly if he tried. Hobbie’s skin was still too hot, his bra too tight. He’d never been more uncomfortable in his life and that was before he'd walked in on two women going at it.

“I thought you’d be cool as a cucumber with this sort of thing.” Roxie said, sounding a little confused. “I was getting major lezzo vibes from you and you seemed so unflappable in the interviews I read.”

“Oh uh…” Hobbie was sweating now and his chest still felt far too tight. His tongue felt like sandpaper in his mouth.

Roxie’s demeanour changed, a look of sympathy crossed her features and she pulled on her underwear and got to her feet.

“Hey, are you okay? I was just teasing you know. I know I can be a bit much on the first meeting, I didn’t think it would bother you, though I admit I wasn't expecting you to walk in on that.”

“Me either.” Hobbie giggled nervously.

“It’s hard being the new kids on the block; let’s make a deal, I’ll tell everybody you are totally fitting in effortlessly and you won't tell anybody about me and that nice catering lady.”

“Deal.”

Roxie smiled; seemingly not phased at all at being caught.

“I like your single, looking forward to the full album.” She beamed, “Got it all pre-ordered and ready to download.”

“Oh it’s all good, you don’t have to pretend to like our music.” Hobbie shrugged, “I know it’s not really your scene.”

“Hey now, judgemental much?” Roxie grinned, flying over to a make up table and opening up a laptop which proudly showed Solid Mercury’s album preorder. “How does that humble pie taste, eh?”

He blushed.

“It’s just your music is so…”

“A totally different genre?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh well, we know people can only like one kind of music, liking two distinct genres? Totally alien concept.”

She said everything with sharpness, but no actual malice, in fact her eyes were practically alight with teasing mirth. She was enjoying this.

Hobbie felt his lips quirk into a smile.

“You like teasing people don't you?” he asked, hands on his hips.

“Wow, so smart, did you get a degree in psychology or something?” Roxie continued, “You’re so good at reading people.”

Hobbie wasn't sure what possessed him to do it, but he stuck his tongue out and that sent them both into a fit of giggles.

“You’re such a bitch.” he chuckled.

“Guilty!”

The two of them giggled for a minute before they finally got a hold of themselves. Hobbie couldn’t believe it; here he was teasing and chatting with Roxie Sugar like she was some normal person! It felt surreal. He made a mental note to give a few more of her songs a listen and a fair chance, rather than just dismissing them as fluffy pop.

“Alright, so, what sent you running in here in the first place?”

Hobbie wanted to lie but somehow, he knew Roxie would see through it.

“My bra is too tight.” He blushed, “I was so uncomfortable I couldn’t concentrate so I ran in here thinking I could fix it without anybody noticing.”

“Oh! Let me guess, a stylist dressed you?”

“Yeah…”

“C’mere girl, lemme help you out.”

Without any hesitation she walked around him and yanked up the back of his shirt, unhooking the bra with a simple pull. Immediately Hobbie felt like he could breathe easier, even after she rehooked it up much looser.

“There, done. Your cleavage isn't as big but don't worry, you’ve still got game.” Roxie gave him a thumbs up and a wink. “Remember, image is everything in this industry, most really. Just fake it till you make it and you’ll be fine. Better to be memorable than forgettable.”

Hobbie felt himself flush a little; was that a normal thing for girls to do for one another? He didn't think so, then again he was getting the impression Roxie didn't care what was considered ‘normal’ behaviour.

“Alright girl, you go have fun, get a little drunk, party it up!” She waved, “And if you find a person to have fun with…don't bring them back to this room. I’m hoping to find myself somebody new soon.”

And with that she was gone; leaving Hobbie blinking in surprise. The entire conversation felt like a fever dream especially once he reemerged back into the party and was hit with the loud music and heat. It seemed less claustrophobic though. He noticed a few eyes on him as he walked and he made sure to hold his head high. Viv Stone was aloof and confident, at least that was the impression he'd given in that interview; he had to keep the image up just like Roxie said.

He kept his eyes hooded, his face disinterested as he walked, picking up random drinks and sipping at them. Occasionally he would strike up a conversation but always left his words short and vague and the effect was instant. He could see more eyes on him, he’d left people wondering and it had the desired effect.

He felt his whole body tingle with excitement; he’d never been the object of anybody’s desire before. Not really, the more people looking at him, the more people would think of Solid Mercury. He tried to tell himself he was acting this part for the sake of the music but the truth was it felt nice having all this attention.

“Just don’t let it go to your head.” Hobbie whispered to himself.

~

“Solid Mercury has landed on the scene not with a whimper but with a bang. Unlike most bands that build up to their first number one hit, Solid Mercury exploded onto the scene with their first album just a week ago and already have three songs in the top twenty, with their song ‘Heat’ already reaching number one.

Many have attributed the bands success to their unique blend of punk rock and classic guitar music but this author believes its their lead singer, Viv Stone, that is the key to the band's success. Her raw, emotional vocal performance draws you in, adding some much needed soul to music that is usually angry and off-putting to a lot of people. Stone herself is also a fascinating figure, giving little away and has become the object of many listeners fascinations”

Johnny put down the magazine with a wide grin.

“We’re a hit.” He beamed, fist bumping both Iggy and Sid.

“You mean Hobbie is a hit.” Cass muttered and Johnny rolled his eyes with a smile.

“Come on Cass,” Iggy whispered, “Our music is popular, maybe Viv is the face of the band now but that doesn’t matter. So long as people like our music as well.”

“Yeah!” Sid grinned, “Somebody at Roxie’s party the other night talked to me for ages about the song composition! They even mentioned how good your drumming was.”

Cass just crossed her arms and sunk back into the couch.

“You’re just saying that. Nobody wanted to talk to me.”

“Probably because you spent the whole night scowling.” Hobbie snapped back, he was getting a little sick of Cass raining on their parade; they’d finally made it and all she could do was complain.

The red head's face twisted into a cruel sort of smile.

“Oh? Would you rather I paraded myself around like some sort of whore, leading men on and flirting with them just because I wanted even more attention?”

“Hey!” Johnny held up his hands, “Cool it Cass, Hobbie was just having fun.”

“Don’t you mean Viv?” She shot back, “Let’s face it, Hobbie is gone, now we just have this…bitch in his place.”

Hobbie stood up, rage instantly flooding his system.

“What did you call me?”

“A bitch.” Cass ground out, “You just threw this massive change on us, last minute and then all of a sudden you’re all over magazines and online, nobody cares about our music they just care about the ‘mysterious’ Viv Stone!”

“That’s not true-”

“It is and you love it. You love being the centre of attention, how long till you go solo huh? Leave us all in the dust. It’s hard enough getting noticed as a serious musician when you’re a woman but now, I don’t even have the novelty of being the only girl in our group! Now I am just…the other girl. Viv is the star, the hot one, the talented one!”

Hobbie couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Are you seriously jealous?” He gaped, “I had my whole damn life turned around, I had to adopt a whole new personality! And you’re pissed that I’m hot and that people like me?”

“You love it,” Cass sneered, “I bet you’re lying about your meds not working, you just realised this was the easier way to make yourself a star.”

“I don’t even know who I am anymore!” Hobbie screeched, tears pricking his eyes, “I just want the band to do well.”

Johnny stepped between them and held up his hands.

“Okay, okay.” He said calmly, “Everybody just calm down. Cass, I think we both know that was out of line.”

“You would take her side.”

“His.” Hobbie corrected quietly but without much emphasis, he wasn't even sure if he was right.

“I’m not on anybody’s side-”

“Oh please, you two have been thick as thieves forever.” Cass rolled her eyes, “I bet now that she’s a chick you two are sleeping together.”

Hobbie’s jaw dropped and Johnny spluttered; both unprepared for the accusation. Johnny glanced back at Hobbie with his mouth open and Hobbie cringed; that was the worst thing he could have done. Cass smiled, looking satisfied, in her mind that look had all but confirmed her accusation no matter how wrong it was.

“Pathetic.” She scoffed, turning on her heels and storming out.

Iggy and Sid sat on the couch looking awkward.

“We’re not sleeping together!” Hobbie insisted, “I swear!”

“I believe you.” Sid said, and Hobbie knew it was true, Sid wasn't quite bright enough to pull off lying in a convincing way.

“I don’t care if you are or not.” Iggy shrugged, “But I should probably go talk to Cass.”

They got up and exited after her, leaving a strange tension floating in the room.

“I uh, might go with them.” Johnny cleared his throat, rubbing at the back of his red neck awkwardly. He looked…flustered.

Flustered in a way Johnny never got. Hobbie had been so busy trying to keep up appearance, adjust to his new persona and deal with these changes he’d not even thought about sex or romance in this body; not even after walking in on Roxie and her female friend. Something told him that Johnny had thought and suddenly the air turned hot and awkward. Johnny left, and Hobbie was left with just an uncomfortably looking Sid.

“So…that party huh, Roxie sure knows how to throw a rager.” Sid said after a while and Hobbie smiled; he was trying to distract him and right now that was exactly what he wanted.

“Yeah, let’s talk about it and nothing else for a while.”

~

Time began to race; every day there was some new event; a dinner, a party, an industry event, an interview. Every day Hobbie got up, feeling exhausted and unable to enjoy any of them as he slipped into the persona of Viv Stone. The more he pretended to be the cool as a cucumber, soulful punk girl, the angrier Cass got behind the scenes and the more the people seemed to love them.

It started to become second nature; wake up, adopt the mask, continue. And every day it started to feel a little bit harder to do. He’d wanted Solid Mercury to get famous so he could show the world what he was made of; share all the passion he had for music with them and show off his skills. But now, nobody knew James Hobb, nobody even knew Hobbie; not even Hobbie himself.

Even the rest of the band started calling him Viv out of inertia. It was as if he had totally disappeared. Even when he found a few moments to himself at the end of the long days he wasn't sure how to act. His performance had become himself; he didn't know where one started and the other ended.

And what was worse is that nobody seemed to care.

Even Johnny, who had started to talk to him less and less, seemed to only see Viv now. He was a famous musician, he’d gotten everything he wanted…but he wasn’t himself. Hell, he didn't even know who he was anymore and that weight was getting heavier and heavier. The only person who seemed to notice was Francis Francis.

“Smile, Viv.” he insisted, “You’ve been on the scene less than six months, you can't be getting jaded yet. You’ll alienate people.”

So he smiled more, he smiled till his cheeks hurt. Because what else could he do?

~

Another party, another drink. Hobbie’s throat was burning from all the vodka raspberries he’d had tonight but he didn't care. Cass had shouted at him again for taking a solo interview on some morning show; it had gone over well. Which of course, made Cass all the angrier. At first they’d yelled but then Hobbie had lost interest; what did it matter?

“Hey girl!”

The force of the hug almost knocked him off balance; or maybe that was the alcohol.

“Woah, how many have you had?”

It was Roxie, clad in a neon outfit that looked like it had jumped straight out of a catalogue from 1999. It clashed with the more modern outfits in the room and Hobbie slurred out.

“Didja stylist put ya in that?”

“No way!” Roxie smiled proudly, “I pick all my own clothes, no need for a stylist here. COol isn’t it? I’ll stop traffic! Which is exactly why I picked it.”

She threw back her head and laughed again. Hobbie’s chest ached with jealousy.

“How do you do it?” He croaked and Roxie’s face turned serious. “How do you just be yourself and stay successful?”

“Hey now, how drunk are ya?”

“...pretty drunk.”

“Well then, time to get all deep and meaningful and shit I guess.” Roxie shrugged, downing a drink of her own before grabbing his wrist and dragging him through the event and out a door.

They ended up on an empty balcony and Roxie quickly shut the door and somehow managed to drag a heavy looking pot plant in front of it so they wouldn’t be disturbed.

“Girl, what’s going on?” She asked with a strange amount of sympathy, she actually sounded like she cared.

Which was ridiculous, they barely knew each other.

“Noooooothing.”

“Oh come on, you almost had a breakdown back there.” Roxie said kindly, leaning against the balcony railing next to him, “You can talk to me.”

Hobbie took a deep breath; why the hell not? So he did, he told Roxie about his imposter syndrome, the fights with Cass, the awkwardness he felt putting on this persona; everything except the fact that he was actually a man.

“I was thrust into this on recording day and well…I couldn’t be me so I had to be somebody else. Now nobody sees the real me anymore, my music is all attributed to this new Viv persona and I dunno…maybe I am Viv, maybe I’m not. It’s hard to tell.”

“That’s some heavy shit, my girl.”

Hobbie tried not to flinch at the word girl. Roxie was silent for a moment before she spoke.

“I think…you should try and make a new you.” She said finally and Hobbie blinked in surprise.

“Aren’t you supposed to tell me to ‘just be myself’ or some shit?”

“Maybe if we were in a Disney movie.” Roxie shrugged. “But personally, I’m a realist. A level of persona is needed to survive in this industry. Trust me. You don't want the whole world knowing the real you. When you read scathing comments online about something you said, did or wore, it’s way easier to deal with if you know, deep down, that it isn't you. You put the real you out there and people hate it? That’s a killer.”

“So what, all this isn't the real you?”

“I’m the exception to the rule, darling.” Roxie grinned, “Though I will admit, I do play certain things up a bit, for the hype and to get a rise out of people. My whole brand is being weird so I can sort of do whatever I like and it still works.”

“Lucky you.”

Roxie reached out and bumped their shoulders together.

“The important thing is to be happy deep down.” She said seriously, “And to find people who see the real you. People you can be yourself around.”

Hobbie bit his lip.

“I don't know if I have that anymore…Johnny has been my best mate forever, he knows everything about me but now I think he’s avoiding me.”

“If he’s been your best friend forever, how come you only just joined the band?” Roxie asked, “Didn't you mention you wrote the songs? With those pipes you should have been a member since the beginning.”

“That’s…complicated.”

Roxie shrugged.

“Fair enough, can't go baring your soul to me twice in one night, especially since this is just our second date.”

Hobbie choked on his own spit and Roxie laughed.

“That was a joke!” She giggled, “Jeez, how do you manage to keep up that aloof act at all? All it takes is a few jokes and you’re red as an apple.”

“Shut up.” Hobbie giggled.

They hung out on the balcony, drinking and chatting until Hobbie lost track of time. Hanging out with Roxie felt…nice, like he could be some version of himself in a way he hadn't in weeks. When she finally moved the plant and decided to head back down to the rest of the party she plucked his phone from his hands and input her number.

“You call whenever, ‘kay hun?” She smiled, “Us girls have to stick together, you’re mate Cass’ll learn that the hard way if she keeps up her ‘not like other girls’ schtick.”

Just like that she was gone and Hobbie let out a breath; the night air suddenly felt very cold and lonely. He pushed inside and almost walked straight into none other than Johnny. The expression on his face was an awful mix of shock, anger and was that betrayal?

“What were you and Roxie doing together out there for so long?” He asked, his tone hard.

“Talking.” Hobbie replied feeling oddly defensive; Johnny had barely said two words to him all week and now he was acting as if he were Hobbie’s keeper.

“Talking…sure. With the industry's most famous lesbian.”

“Just because she’s gay doesn’t mean she is flirting with every woman she meets.”

“So you do consider yourself a girl now?”

“Don’t you?”

Hobbie hadn't meant that last comment to come out so sharp but it had and Johnny actually flinched. He recomposed himself and flipped his long fringe over his eyes, refusing to meet Hobbie’s eye again.

“Just don’t go causing drama, we have to start on our second album and I don’t want it spoiled by you getting in the tabloids.”

“What about you, Mr.Big Spender?” Hobbie felt his frustrations starting to mount, “Wasn't there some variety piece about new stars going broke before getting established with a picture of you sitting in your designer jeans on top of your mercedes?”

“My spending has nothing to do with this, this is about you.”

“It’s always about me!” Hobbie cried, not caring if anybody heard. “Why does everybody act like I am the soul reason Solid Mercury has a shot? No matter what I do, I am pissing one of you off.”

Johnny grit his teeth; he had no response.

“You’ve…changed. Since we got famous.” He said finally, a lame excuse and one that only made Hobbie’s blood boil more.

“No shit Sherlock! And who helped me to do that? Hm?”

He turned and stalked off, his anger simmering even hotter than it had been with Cass. Of course he’d changed, but that wasn’t his fault! Maybe it was time to stop moping and taking everybody’s lumps; maybe Roxie was right, maybe it was time to stop trying to be the person people wanted him to be and try to make a new Viv. A Viv he could be happy as. A smile formed across his lips; he was going to blow them all away and ignore the aching in his heart each time he saw Johnny.

~

And so Hobbie decides it's time to figure out who he/she wants to be, rather than trying to be somebody his friends want. This will go well, I am sure. Also, I can't decide who to make his ultimate love interest, Johnny or Roxie. What do you all think?