Director's Notes – Episode 106

(NOTE: As always, Director's Notes contain spoilers)

When we wrote the first Welcome to Night Vale novel, we got to tell the story of this town from the points of view of characters who were not Cecil. It was great getting to actually go inside the library and see the extent of danger and gore present there. We got to eat at the Moonlite All-Nite Diner. We got to ride a bus and a plane and work in a pawn shop. 

One of the more fun places to write about was the Hall of Public Records, and the myriad ways Night Vale can make waiting and wading through red tape even more excruciating (or fascinating) than it is in real life. 

Like the librarians, the Hall of Public Records clerks are vaguely inhuman, and like real life municipal clerks can be real sticklers to Byzantine rules and requirements. But rather than just telling you that you're missing a key piece of paperwork or that they only accept checks (who still writes checks?), Night Vale records clerks probably just pour hot tar over your application and quietly sing a nursery rhyme. Or something. 

I only recently learned that in the US, you're not allowed to smile in your passport photo. I didn't notice this when I had my passport renewed, because I guess I'm fairly unfriendly anyway to people taking my picture, but I was amused to read an article from CBS news when looking up the history of this rule. 

It's not so much the smile that's outlawed, just that you're required to have a neutral expression that doesn't distort certain identifiable facial features. The State Department basically outlawed smiles that showed your teeth. Closed-lipped smiles were okay. But my favorite line from the article in 2004 announcing this regulation was:

"The new guidelines permit people to smile for passport and visa pictures but frown on toothy smiles, which apparently are classified as unusual or unnatural expressions."

I agree. Except what if I like smiling at TSA agents, really separating my lips and pulling back that mouth to show the parts of my skull that regularly tear apart cooked animal flesh and vegetation? What if that's my neutral expression? 

I'll give this argument a try when my renewal comes up again.

- Jeffrey Cranor
April 15, 2017