Director's Notes – Episode 124

(NOTE: As always, Director's Notes contain spoilers)

This new episode reminded me to talk to you about pancakes.

I love pancakes. Everyone loves pancakes. Everyone, except the following types of people:

1. assholes

Obviously, there are people with strict diets and food allergies who cannot have pancakes, but they still love pancakes because they are good, if altogether pitiable, people. But since they cannot have pancakes, they are looked after more lovingly by God (or the Gods, or the indifferent universe). 

Most diners (Night Vale's Pancake House & Moonlite All-Night Diner likely included here) do not make good pancakes, which is to say that their pancakes are still, relative to all other foods, quite delicious, but low on the level of pancake-production. It's kind of like cheesecake. Cheesecake is my least-favorite dessert, and I never order it. Sometimes when offered, I will politely refuse it, even. But it's basically milk fat and sugar in a crust, and that is still damned great. 

It's delicious compared to, say, eggplant or trout, but cheesecake is still a bullshit dessert. 

Oooh, it looks like I've upset a few people by dragging cheesecake. Well before you get too mad, let me just say...

Wait. Hang on. My phone is ringing. I should take this.

"Hello? Yes, of course they are. Great. Later, bud."

I'm back. That was God calling to say you're wrong. Cheesecake is stupid.

I know it's hard when you've been so devastated in a debate. In fact, someone took a video of our dispute just now. It may be hard to watch, but I think you could learn a lot from it: https://youtu.be/pMwwSA9BAz4 

We don't see eye to eye on the cheesecake thing, which is fine. Not everyone has the same opinions, which is why we have twitter. But clearly we agree on pancakes. Pancake haters would not like our podcast.

Here's a pancake story I wanted to tell you: when I was a kid, my grandfather Ben would make pancakes in different shapes. My favorite was a simple Mickey Mouse logo, which was probably my grandfather's favorite, too, because it only involved running three pancakes together. But he would do his best to draw fish, tractors, race cars, airplanes, and I loved them, because he also sometimes put chocolate chips in them. 

Here's a photo:

That has nothing to do with the story I was telling you. I couldn't find an old photo of me with my grandfather's elaborate pancakes. I think those albums are in storage. Here's a photo of me and Kevin R. Free from exactly 9 years ago. I look 9 years younger and drunk, and Kevin still looks the same. Behind us is a murderer.

Where was I?

Pancakes. 

In conclusion, here's my own pancake recipe. It's easy and delicious, and I hope you enjoy it too.

Ingredients:

Pancakes

Maple Syrup

Butter

Fruit (optional)

1. Make the pancakes

2. Slap butter and syrup on them.

3. (optional) Toss some fruit up on that. 

- Jeffrey Cranor
March 16, 2018