Director's Notes – 155 – The Heist, Part 3

(NOTE: As always, Director's Notes contain spoilers)

Hate, in its purest form, is not only terribly destructive, but completely misleading. Like alcohol or other drug, hate stays in the system for a while. It takes some time to flush it out, and you can only really do that if you stop consuming it. All the while it deeply alters your perception of reality.

That being said, I'm not sure we can ever fully cleanse our bodies of hatred. I think it's part of our biology. That's not to excuse it. It's simply to say it's an attribute we have to accept and control. 

It's a matter of being conscious that hate is irrational and unproductive, but it's going to surface. We have to identify when hatred has overwhelmed reason, and find some way to let it to pass with minimal harm. Find some way to limit what we say aloud or online, knowing that a public expression of these emotions can cause problems for ourselves (and others) down the road. And some of those problems might be irreparable. 

But sometimes, we're just not that self-aware. I'm super guilty of that. In moments of exhaustion, I feel resentment toward others. I feel righteous and/or sanctimonious. I know that I am right, and that others are not just wrong, but at their very core, bad people. 

When I feel really upset, I don't immediately see the whole picture, just the part that keeps me feeling upset. Like cancer, the DNA of hatred is self-replication at the expense of its host, so it does all it can to disguise its irrationality as solid logic. 

I usually through a mental questionnaire when I'm angry:
1. Am I tired, hungover, stressed, ill, etc? Think carefully about physical condition.
2. What do I want to happen that will make me not feel angry?
3a. Can I express or achieve this calmly, and without insult or blame?
3b. If not, can I do something else privately (play a game, read a book, take a nap) until I feel better?

There's a lot more to it than that, but that's the basic starting point. It's not 100%, but it has saved me many times. 

Conversely, our man Cecil Gershwin-Palmer probably doesn't have such a checklist. He tends to react more immediately to his feelings. After years of publicly dunking on Steve Carlsberg, he's finally learned that Steve is a good man, a good friend, a good brother-in-law. But Cecil tends to need a nemesis, and these days that's Susan Willman. 

Where did this start? In the case of irrational hatred, that's rarely important. But if you're looking for some seed of all this, Susan once called Diane Crayton's son Josh pudgy, and that was probably enough to put Susan in Cecil's crosshairs, and thus exaggerating all her future transgressions, no matter how minor. 

Plus, maybe Cecil's so close with Steve these days that he's being hyper-empathetic to Steve's minor complaints. Perhaps Steve's made comments about how Susan can get on his nerves, and Cecil now feels so much love for Steve that he's bulldoggish in protecting his buddy.

Will Cecil ever get over this? Hard to say. I think his ragging on Susan is somewhat of a pressure-relief valve. It's mean-spirited, yes, but it's unconsciously where Cecil places his anger/hatred/angst so that it doesn't surface elsewhere in his life.  Besides, Susan is pretty annoying. Don't fat shame children, Susan. 

- Jeffrey Cranor
October 1, 2019

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