Directors Notes: 204 - Audition

Back in the 1990s at the University of Houston, I went to watch an evening with Stephen Sondheim. He was being interviewed by a local theater critic. The interviewer was going mostly in chronological order through Sondheim's works, and when they got to Company, the critic asked if that musical was autobiographical. 

Sondheim said no, it wasn't. But insofar as any work by any artist contains autobiographical elements, it kind of was. Sondheim never attempted to place himself as a character in his own work, but sometimes he would use an IRL dialogue exchange, or feeling, or experience in a musical.

Basically, it's impossible to be un-autobiographical when you're writing things. Every artist is using their lifetime of memories, emotions, and observations to learn to write, so when you put pen to paper (do we still put pen to paper, btw? "fingertip to key?") it's going to reflect something about who you are and where you came from. And it's is this way whether you like it or not. 

So when I wrote the first draft for episode 204 "Audition," I wasn't thinking it was about me, except that I like theater. So I set a storyline inside a theater. I also like ghosts, so I wrote about a ghost in the theater. And then when I finished the draft and re-read it, I realized oh shit, this isn't a Night Vale episode, it's something to hand over to my therapist. 

I miss theater, but not just getting to watch theater, or tour our Night Vale show around the country. No, I miss in-person collaboration. Covid hasn't helped of course, but even before 2020, I had left New York City to live in the Hudson Valley. It's lovely up here. But way more than Brooklyn, the Hudson Valley requires me to actively be social. To reach out to people to do things. We don't have trains or offices in walking distance from each other. 

And I'm not always the best at that sort of thing. Zoom has been great. Weekly game nights with friends, watching horror movies with Cecil Baldwin, a monthly zoom book club. But I need human contact, whether it's for a social gathering or for storytelling. Eye contact, no lag, shared space. 360 degree views of reality. 

Without theater for two years, I've been able to publish two books and bunches of podcast episodes. I feel super productive, but there's nothing like the immediacy of a theater audience: laughing, clapping, sitting silent, sniffling, shifting in their seats. When a book is released, there are some nice tweets to tell me how much someone liked the book. But I can't see them. I can't thank them with my eyes, just an emoji. 

Anyway, the point it I miss theater. I miss seeing Night Vale fans in person. I miss just watching good shows. Hopefully, like Mary here, I can change that soon. 

-Jeffrey Cranor
March 15, 2022

PS: That was a heavy directors notes. So lemme just say that for word-count reasons, I had to cut a joke from this episode about Cecil's favorite part of Angels In America is when Prior builds a time machine and ensures that Reagan is never elected. Anyway, it's hard to improve that play, but idk, maybe we need a part 3?