I wish I could be better, I'm trying.

I wish I could be better. For myself, for you.
But I'm just not as good as I'd like to be. I liked to think that there was something more inside that I could show through my art, something unique and magical, like many great artists whose work I see every day. But I'm just jumping like a child, imitating and trying to reach the top. Sometimes it happens to touch by accident. But then I fall into my dark thicket full of thorny thorns. And I look up, thinking how great it would be to have wings on which I could carry something beautiful.
But the reality for me is a constant thorny path, it's difficult, it hurts. And sometimes I don't understand why I'm moving on.
But I can't help but go, art is a part of me, I was born in this forest.
___
Once again, I really want to apologize for my absence for the past month. It's an awfully long time. I have seen a lot of your support and emails during this time, and I am incredibly grateful to each of you.

I was faced with a very strong emotional burnout and I still feel terrible. I tried to find the strength to at least respond to those who wrote to me, but I can't find the strength even for such lines, and I'm terribly ashamed of this, and I don't want you to think that I'm ignoring you.

I've been trying to relax for a couple of weeks, go somewhere, meet someone, do something abstract. But nothing helps. I still feel the same way. With terrible fatigue, drowsiness, apathy, depressive feelings and lack of interest in everything around.

I've been preparing for over a week to draw this picture and write this post. I'm trying my best to come back. And every new day without art makes me feel even worse. And the strength to move on has not returned.

I'm still trying, I'm really sorry. I wish I could be better.