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Kevin Coughlin
Kevin Coughlin

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FULL WATCHALONG ~ THE MUMMY RETURNS

The Mummy Returns (2001) is the cinematic equivalent of eating an entire bag of Halloween candy in one sitting—bigger, louder, way messier than the first one, and honestly, a little exhausting by the end... but somehow, you’re still kind of smiling. Brendan Fraser is back as Rick O’Connell, still rocking the rugged Indiana Jones-lite hero energy, and Rachel Weisz returns as Evelyn, who somehow gets even cooler by becoming a reincarnated ancient warrior princess because sure, why not?

This time around, they’ve leveled up the chaos: not just one ancient evil rising from the sands, but two, if you count the debut of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as the CGI disasterpiece known as the Scorpion King—a villain whose final form looks like it crawled out of a PS2 cutscene. Imhotep is back too, still trying to rule the world, still looking like a dehydrated potato during the early stages of resurrection.

The movie doesn’t waste any time with setup—it just hurls you headfirst into nonstop action scenes: chariot races through London, blimp battles over the desert, armies of CGI Anubis warriors, and enough reincarnation subplots to make your head spin. Logic? Character development? Pacing? Left behind like an abandoned camel in the opening montage. But honestly, that's part of the charm.

The Mummy Returns operates on pure momentum and sheer likability. Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz have effortless chemistry, John Hannah is still on hand to bumble his way through comic relief, and even the kid sidekick doesn’t completely tank the momentum (which is honestly a miracle). The effects might not hold up (especially that final boss fight—yikes), but the energy is undeniable.

It’s messier, it’s sillier, it’s way too much—but if you were on board for the first Mummy, there’s something kind of endearing about how hard this sequel tries to deliver bigger everything, even if it means kicking subtlety out of the tomb completely. Dust off your sense of adventure and just roll with it.

FULL WATCHALONG ~ THE MUMMY RETURNS

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