DSC: Seeking Lisa Page 02
Added 2023-08-17 12:00:07 +0000 UTC
Comments
Thanks for the feedback! I'll probably leave it like it is because people have different levels of eloquence IRL too.
Harlock
2023-08-18 00:20:35 +0000 UTCLOL
Harlock
2023-08-18 00:19:23 +0000 UTCYay!!!! Guest-starring the green lamp that everyone knows from some random B-movie. :) I missed this series! One minor critique - "Pixie tells me you wanted to meet with me" is a bit clunky. You could have "Pixie explained you wanted to meet with me" or "Pixie tells me you wanted to meet with us", etc.
Dollmistress
2023-08-17 16:04:05 +0000 UTC*flashes a bunch of hand signs* "Rapid exposition dump no jutsu!"
kurogetsui
2023-08-17 12:42:05 +0000 UTC
