Little Deaths - chapter 5 -

We are in the home stretch now! Only one more chapter left you guys! This was a tough chapter because I needed to have Kallus realizing a few things and also to show how far they have come, especially Kallus, in terms of his needs and how he handles his issues. He still has those issues he's always had, but it is manifesting differently a little. 

TW : talk of death, rough sex, rimming, dirty talk, mild come play, knot play?

When Kallus had seen the Ghost out the viewport of the Glimmer at the rendezvous point, he had slumped in his seat so hard with relief that D4 queried over his health.

After the battle of Hoth, all the way up until the Rebel fleet landed on the planet simply designated 5251977, Kallus had sat in limbo with his emotions. This was in part because he hadn’t been able to actually see Zeb until they were both in the massive headquarters of the Rebellion’s new base of operations.

Compared to Echo Base, the new base was expansive, being able to stretch out and grow as it needed. Ships weren’t so crowded together and were able to be spaced out and organized, squadrons in a relaxed formation and grouped accordingly.

This also meant a long and charged ‘walk’ back to the Glimmer, Zeb hot at his heels as they made their way through the command station, the newly positioned commissary, and one of the many hangers.

Zeb hadn’t even let the Glimmer’s entrance finish opening before he had pulled Kallus to him and kissed him breathless, hauling him up until his legs wrapped around his sturdy waist. Kallus had been sure, even with the spread of the ships in the airfield, that someone had seen them, but he hadn’t cared, not when Zeb had carried him aboard and kissed him all the way to his stateroom.

They had fallen to the bed, a tangle of frenzied movements as they had wrangled the clothes and armor and weapons from each other, kissing and groping as they did so.

Seeing Zeb alive, feeling him alive, over him, under him, cock hard and wanting him, made the passion flourish inside him. He was rock hard too by the time they were kicking the last of Kallus’ clothing off.

Kallus keened, loud and needy, gasping as Zeb pressed him to the bed and began to trail big, open mouthed kisses down his chest. Zeb sucked at his nipples and laved at them with his textured tongue and Kallus bucked underneath him, his dick rubbing at the hard planes of Zeb’s chest, the fur there longer and more coarse. Zeb nipped with his teeth and pinched one of the buds, swirling his tongue at the very tip of it.

“Garazeb,” Kallus groaned, long and low, indulging in his full name. He reached down and held Zeb’s head, fingers grasping at the fine, smooth hairs of his crown.

Zeb continued his way down until he was between Kallus’ legs, licking mercilessly at his groin; from under his balls to the tip of his erect cock, up one side, up the other, and swirling at the head. He let Kallus’ length slide along his teeth for one tantalizing moment before he turned his head and bit down at Kallus’ inner thigh. Not enough to bleed, but enough to bruise and linger where his blaster strap was sure to rub.

Kallus arched and held onto the sheets above his head. Then he felt Zeb’s tongue dart out and swipe at his puckered hole, his lips and mouth giving it several wet kisses before he plunged the entire thing inside.

“Kriff!” Kallus cried out and clenched unintentionally, but Zeb’s big hands were there to wrestle his shaking legs and keep them pinned to the bed as he let the ring of muscle tighten around his tongue. “Oh, fuck…”

After a few blissful moments, Zeb pulled back and licked at his lips lewdly. He stared intently into Kallus’ eyes as he leaned back to his haunches. Kallus was damn near trembling with need now, his chest flushed red and heaving. Zeb bumped his knees closer and manhandled Kallus’ body until his hips left the bed and were slotted against his. Kallus’ shoulders had been dragged roughly across the sheets in the process, but the burn of fabric on his skin was nothing compared to the way he burned for Garazeb Orrelios.

Kallus kept his hands locked above his head as if Zeb were holding him there and watched as Zeb began his impatient, but careful, push inside his ass. Kallus encouraged him with his insistent moans and sighs of his name, and when Zeb was buried deep and a moan of his own thundering from his chest, Kallus felt the burgeoning fire inside him spark.

Zeb snapped his hips and began to thrust, the power of his strokes jolting Kallus’ entire body. Kallus twisted his hands into fists and spun them into the sheets above his head tightly and savored the way Zeb felt inside him, his cock scrubbing through his ass again and again.

“Got hard just seeing the Glimmer out the viewport,” Zeb told him and Kallus almost startled; Zeb had yet to speak until that moment. Kallus had yet to say much of anything himself, but he always preferred to hear Zeb’s voice, rough and edged with pleasure, than his own. “Couldn’t wait to get my hands on you, to feel you, to let you feel me, feel this.”

“I feel you, Zeb,” Kallus reassured him, and it was true. When Zeb pushed into him, he felt it every time, deep to the core of him. He felt the different emotions inside him abate or bloom, tipping towards the heat that glowed as bright as- “Stars, how I feel you!”

“Kal -ah!” Zeb curled forward and wrapped his arms around his waist. He pressed his head to Kallus' chest and ground himself deeper.

Kallus clutched at Zeb’s shoulders and back, squeezing him closer. The tense, powerful, dangerous muscles moving under his hands felt exhilarating to touch and stroke. “I need you -need your knot, Zeb!”

“I’ll knot you, stretch you good, so good,” Zeb fell from his haunches and smothered him, knocking the air from Kallus’ lungs briefly. Zeb continued to fuck him, spreading his torso prone as he pounded him to the bed. Kallus’ knees flopped and bounced with the impact of Zeb’s body over him and between his legs, the wet slap of sound loud and filthy in the room. The normally resilient, built-in bed frame began to creak.

“Zeb,” Kallus pleaded after he was sure there would be a twinge to his walk for the next few days, “I want you to watch me take it.”

For a moment Kallus didn’t think Zeb heard him, but soon Zeb gave him one last, full bodied thrust and held himself inside. “Y-yeah, hold on.”

Zeb adjusted his grip, arms still wrapped around his middle and rolled them so that Kallus was on top of him. Kallus shifted, shaky and unsteady at the change, but pushed himself up onto his hands and looked down at Zeb. His eyes were hooded but rapt with attention aimed directly at him, watching with admiration and lust.

Kallus adjusted his knees before making his first rocking motion. He couldn't help but close his eyes to concentrate on the feel of Zeb’s cock as it penetrated him in the new position; he counted the nubs as they slipped free then slid back into him, enjoying the stretch as he sank onto the widest part at the base. So often he didn’t have control of this, which was usually his preference, but tonight he wanted Zeb to watch him clearly, explicitly, and see him.

Zeb’s hands gripped at the top of his thighs, kneading and leaving light scratches as Kallus’ leg muscles worked to propel them back into a steady pace. Kallus sat back and covered his hands over Zeb’s and pressed them further into his flesh.

“That’s it,” Zeb purred, “that’s it, sweetheart. Get that cock in deep.”

Kallus pushed back as hard as he could and was sure he took in all of Zeb, pelvis grinding against the slick folds of Zeb’s sheath, the soft brush of Zeb's balls brushing at his backside. Zeb let out a loud, throaty moan, the sound vibrating the very air around them. Kallus reached one hand down to grip at his own cock and balls and lifted them up so Zeb could see it all as he reared up, then eased back down to grind them together again.

“Fuck, aw karabast you-” Zeb cut himself off, eyes locked downwards at the display.

Kallus felt the heat of exposure and savored the burn under Zeb's brilliant intensity. Zeb’s hands on his thighs tightened all the more and began to assist in his movements, giving him the sting of his claws every time he came down flush; skin meeting fur.

"Oh Kal, you -is it good for you?" Zeb asked, a small crease of worry in his brow.

“Yes,” Kallus gasped promptly, nodding. It was more than good for him, it was everything; knowing Zeb cared enough to be sure, as if there was any doubt by now that he loved it when they fucked, loved that it was Zeb and Zeb alone able to give it to him how he needed. That he loved-

“Yeah, it’s good?” Zeb asked, desperately. He began to move in time with Kallus, letting his hips push upwards into Kallus’ momentum, making the impact of their bodies as they came together all the more powerful. “Fuck, Kal, oh sweetheart… tell me it’s good.”

“So good, Zeb, so good,” Kallus moaned, increasing his speed and Zeb began to pant out little ah’s! with every slam of their hips. Kallus also began to let out high cries of pleasure as everything burned all the hotter, glowed all the brighter.

“Think I’m gonna -oh fuck -I’m gonna,” Zeb sputtered out shakily then there was a pulse deep inside Kallus as Zeb came. His knot enlarged and spread him wide and they both jerked to a stop, Zeb shaking beneath him and neck craned so he could see their union, his eyes glossy and anguished with bliss.

Kallus then pulled himself off, just enough for the knot to pop free, before dropping back down on it. Zeb made a noise, almost distressed at first, that melted into a shuddering gasp of pleasure. It hurt, the stretch of the knot pulling at his tender and used rim, but Kallus repeated the movement, over and over again. He needed the hurt, he needed it to stay with him, needed Zeb to stay with him.

“Fill me love,” Kallus implored, voice broken and ruined, “I want to be full of you -your come. To bursting -want to carry it deep inside. Please.”

Zeb sobbed in ecstasy, crumbling to pieces under him, his back bowing, and threw his head back to press into the mattress. It was simply divine to watch and feel as Zeb’s spend continued to gush into him. It had begun to drip out with his continued motions, but the idea that any remnant of Zeb would stay within him was enough to finally send him over the edge.

Kallus spilled over his own fist as he climaxed, his entire body trembling and quaking with the force of it. He closed his eyes and felt Zeb’s cock pulse once more and finish expelling the last of his ejaculate into him.

Even after the knot deflated, Kallus stayed perched on top of Zeb, catching his breath and milking at his own dick, letting the spend drip and gather in the fur of Zeb's belly. Zeb was still shuddering with the aftershocks, eyes closed and head tilted towards the ceiling. Kallus wiped his hand on his sheets and began to rub soothingly at Zeb's chest, working over the hard planes of muscle, his flat nipples, and the longer tufts of fur. How he loved this-

Kallus suddenly remembered what he had called Zeb in the throes of passion just moments ago and felt self conscious. He hadn't meant to let that out, hadn't known he had wanted to say it, but he had. In a way he didn't regret it, but wasn't sure how Zeb felt about it, either.

"Hmm," Zeb moaned happily, cutting into his thoughts. The lasat sat up with a slow and sated move and wrapped his arms around Kallus to chase his mouth into a sensuous kiss, tongue rolling out to coax his own into the soft and ardent proceedings of their afterglow.

After Zeb seemed satisfied Kallus was sufficiently kissed and licked, he buried his head into his neck and ran trailing claws up and down his spine, nowhere near sharp, but tantalizing and soothing enough to make Kallus shiver in pleasure.

"Liked what you did there, what you said, on my knot," Zeb murmured into the sweaty skin of his neck. "I fill you good ‘nuf, hm?"

"Yes," was all Kallus could manage to reply for a moment. He occupied himself with soothing the fur over Zeb's shoulders and neck, and eventually his head, the lasat mumbling a soft good.

The finest fur on Zeb's body was at the base of his ears and Kallus focused on the feel of it under his fingers before he inevitably had to move off of Zeb's body to deal with their mess. And what a mess it was; Kallus both lamented and lauded as he looked down at Zeb's groin, covered in the copious evidence of their coupling.

Usually Zeb was the one to leave Kallus to recuperate while he grabbed a towel or piece of clothing that could be sacrificed for cleanup. But this time Kallus had shaken his head and had given a small kiss to Zeb's ear in farewell as he eased himself from the bed and gingerly walked towards his cabin's small, private refresher.

After a quick pass through the sonic, Kallus pulled on a fresh set of undershorts and made his way back into the cabin with a large washcloth. Zeb was still on the bed, gloriously naked and uncovered, legs spread wide and proud, one knee propped up, and his cock only partially retreated back into his slit. The mess of come and slick was still just as plentiful, except Zeb was running an idle hand along his belly where Kallus' come had been spilled, his fingers swiping at the edges of the splatter. Kallus couldn't take his eyes from Zeb as he brought that finger up to his mouth and sucked at it.

Zeb chuckled wickedly, seeing the way Kallus looked at him. "In case you don't get the hint, I can't get enough of ya. Wanna fuck you again tonight, all night, an' maybe when the sun comes up, too."

Kallus smirked and knelt on the edge of the bed to start to clean up the mess of Zeb's groin. "Did you know that the night and day cycles here last weeks? It will be dawn for days still."

"Oh," Zeb said simply before taking over the cleaning from Kallus. "Offer still stands."

"I'm sure the Rebellion has use for you other than fucking a fulcrum agent."

"Yeah, fucking him and being thorough about it." Zeb shifted in the bed and began to pull the sheet out from under him to pile beside the bed with the washcloth.

"And I'm sure the Rebellion has use of me other than fucking one of their famed spectres." Kallus let himself be pulled back onto the bed, now sans a sheet, and into a loose pile of human and lasat.

"Well, how about this: I stay here and fuck you til either of us are given some orders?" Zeb offered with an easy smile, their faces a mere inch apart.

"That could be five minutes from now," Kallus reminded him.

"Or five days. The sun might be out by then," Zeb said and gave him a gentle kiss on his lips.

Before Kallus could kiss him further, a chime from his data padd dinged in the room. He cursed a kriff before pulling away to go retrieve it.

"Or five seconds," Zeb grumbled.

Kallus scowled as he had to remove his undershorts from earlier from the edge of it. Flinging their clothes about the room was all well and good in the heat of things, but now it was embarrassing how the state of his cabin looked.

Kallus signed in to his padd and brought up the alert and saw it was the already lengthy report of the attack on Echo Base and the evacuation from Hoth. He had requested it be sent to him as soon as it was compiled, no matter the completeness. He hadn't been there himself when the base had been attacked; he and the Glimmer had been returning from a fulcrum mission when they got the belated evacuation comms with orders to regroup at Home One, a day later.

Getting back on the bed silently, Kallus arranged himself to sit upright against the headboard connected to the wall. Zeb copied his pose there and leaned in to see what he was looking at. Kallus felt the brush of lips on his shoulder and tipped his head to bump their heads together in a small nuzzle. Zeb pulled a light blanket that had been pushed nearly off the bed to cover them both around the waist as Kallus scrolled the casualty list, arranged by unit and squadron and rank or lack of rank. It was morbidly commendable how the Rebellion had perfected the art of the obituary, and that Kallus had been there to see it evolve over the years.

“It wasn’t pretty, from what Rex was saying. Down in the trenches, at least, with the walkers,” Zeb said as he continued to lay small pecks on his arm and shoulder, also reading the screen. “Most of the transports got away, though.”

“I see,” Kallus said quietly, indeed reaching the end of the list earlier than he expected, far earlier. “I’m relieved you or the Ghost weren’t there for it.”

“Yeah, happened right after we left the system though.” Zeb adjusted on the bed, slumping further down, one of his fingers idly brushing against Kallus’ outstretched leg, as if to soothe what was already stomping through his mind.

But it was different tonight, his relentless focus dwelling not on himself for once. In the past, after such an event, Kallus would always feel the terror that it could have been him, but now all he could think was it could have been Zeb on Hoth when the Empire had come. It could have been Zeb with Rex against the walkers in the ice carved trenches, mere blasters against the artillery lasers. It could have been Zeb, lying with the dead left abandoned on the surface of a planet that would sooner preserve a body than let it decompose and return to the earth.

How many bodies now littered Hoth, forever frozen in place, the face they made when they died permanent and enduring to the elements? If Kallus hadn’t hurt his leg on Bahryn, or had chosen the less honorable path and killed Zeb then, would Zeb’s body have been left to preserve on that ice moon over Geonosis? Would those creatures have devoured him? Would the creatures on Hoth devour the bodies there?

He was fucked up. He was-

He must have been quiet and still for too long, because Zeb nudged him, the finger that had been soothing his leg replaced by a full-on grip as Zeb’s hand held his leg and gave it a small, but grounding, pinch.

“Hey, you alright?” Zeb asked and Kallus felt his insides twist with the still-unfamiliar burn of adoration and the turmoil it brought to someone who had yet to figure out how that fit into one’s life, how one even deserved that in their life. “What do you need?”

Kallus almost laughed. What did he need? He needed Zeb; alive and breathing and taking his pleasure from his body -all night, this night, every night. He needed what Zeb gave him, had always given him, since the first time he said ‘yes’ to his offer. Maybe what he needed most was not the consequence of the offer, but the offer itself.

“I’m fine love,” Kallus said and realized again, too late, what had slipped out. His insides seized at the possibility Zeb would question it or make comment about it. Kallus also needed to be able to tell Zeb that he thinks he truly means it when he calls him that.

“Alright,” Zeb replied after a pause and relaxed his hold on his leg and went back to rubbing it, his thumb circling the soft flesh near the inside of his knee.

Zeb drifted to sleep not long after that, head resting against his shoulder, hand still warm and heavy on his leg. It was similar but so very different from Bahryn, Kallus thought.

They fucked again a few hours later, when Zeb woke, but Kallus didn’t tell him right away he had gotten a mission request from command while he was sleeping. All fulcrum agents were to report for assignment concerning the Bothan Spynet, sooner rather than later. Kallus had always been a selfish man, and later could wait until after dawn. Even a dawn that lasted days, he told himself.

Still, he reported to command eight hours later, Zeb managing to leave him with a visible mark on his neck, a hitch to his gait, and hope in his heart. A hope that Zeb would be there to ground him, as always, the next time.