A Dragon's Curse Upon This Illogical World! Chapter 8

Edited by: Marethyu, Priapus

Although the quest to purify the lake itself is not what I’d call ‘productive’, considering we had to split the pay five ways with Aqua taking most, I’m quite satisfied that I decided to join them. Yes, I spent most of the time lying around and ultimately doing nothing, and yes, I barely got paid for it too, but encountering that self-righteous dimwit made everything worth it in the end. For once in my life, I feel lucky.

How come I feel this way, considering he damaged the cage and cut down my low pay even more? Why, because that moron was kind enough to donate all of his belongings for a great cause. Blindly picking a fight where most of your possessions are on the line is the very definition of short-sighted idiocy.

It doesn’t matter if you’re confident. It doesn’t matter if you’re facing the weakest entity in all of existence or if your chances of losing are quite literally zero. Anyone who bets more than they’re willing to lose is a total imbecile and deserves to lose it all.

But I suppose I digress.

Splitting his belongings between us more than made up for it. I took the sword he was so proud of and a few other miscellaneous items he kept on his person, like gems and a few strong potions, while Kazuma and his friends took his enchanted armor, immediately selling it for nearly half a million Eris.

As for me? Well, I thought about selling the sword, but I decided against it. Although it’s clear that I can’t use it without a specific blessing, I thought I’d keep it with me just in case. After all, I’ve broken restrictions on divine artifacts before, and while this blade isn’t what I’d call unique compared to what I’ve seen, I could benefit from it regardless. Mainly, as a battery for my machines.

Unimpressive or not, this sword contains an almost infinite pool of mana. That can be incredibly helpful. 

Frankly, when he offered that duel of his despite what was on the line for him, I knew he wasn’t very bright. Yes, he was powerful. His stats were likely higher than mine, and a good hit with his sword would’ve killed me or knocked me out, but he was also heavily underestimating me. The moment he took his first step during the duel, I immediately knew he was holding back.

More than that, I knew that, while he was ‘skilled’ courtesy of his class giving him an inherent understanding of how to use a blade, he had little to no experience. He was likely too used to ending battles too quickly with that sword. Either that, or he’s only fought monsters and almost never bothered with equal human or human-like adversaries.

Regardless, I took advantage of that.

Being confident and knowing you’re more powerful than your opponent is one thing, but one must also consider that your opponent knows they’re weaker than you. Remembering that helps you be prepared for any trick hidden in their sleeves, even more so when your supposedly weaker foe is confident in themselves.

One could argue that they could just be arrogant, which might be true, but it wouldn’t hurt to be careful. But, again, I digress. I suppose with how… ‘unintimidating’ one of the Demon Generals was, I should expect the heroes of this world to be equally unremarkable.

…Keeping my expectations low all the time is tougher than I thought. It’s exhausting. I want to see something amazing in this world, but at this point, I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up. How does my mother do it?

No, no. That’s wrong. This isn’t how I should think. Look on the bright side, Carmine. I’m still only in the beginner town. I’m sure when I progress further into the adventurer business, I’ll see what this world truly has to offer. Definitely.

Good and fun times can’t exist without going through a bit of misery every once in a while, right? Right. For sure. As long as I remain optimistic, everything will be fine.

…

…At least the food here isn’t entirely terrible? That means something to me. Wish it was anywhere near as good as the food in Crimson’s world, but I can’t complain too much about what I got. Not when I have my own kitchen now. But I suppose food will have to wait.

As I write down everything that needs either fixing or replacing in the mansion on a note, I sigh to myself slightly. There’s thankfully not much to do in terms of maintenance, surprisingly enough. It’s just that getting the material and resources needed to maintain the building would be a little tough with my limited budget. Not counting the hours of work I’ll need to put into this task, forcing me to reduce time on my adventurer work.

I’ve already mapped out the interior and exterior of the estate, planned out some renovations to turn half the mansion into a factory, and figured out which room to put what machine in when the time comes. First things first, the little shed outside will be my workshop. It needs a little expansion since it’s too small for bigger projects, but so far, it’ll do until I get a couple of generators up and running.

“Ugh, you’ve been at this for hours.” The child spirit groans, floating next to me after I’m done estimating the new size of my future workshop. “I’m so bored. Can’t we do something fun already?”

“Sorry, Anna. I’m busy right now.” I respond absent-mindedly. “Maybe later.”

There’s not a lot of space outside to build above ground, but I could just dig down and make a small underground laboratory since the shed is far enough away from the sewer system that I don’t have to worry about breaking into it. It’s definitely a lot more work and would take much longer, but it’s not like I’m in a hurry. Besides, I’ll have a lot more freedom building it.

…Another underground base, huh? It seems like that’s just how things go for us engineers—either that or somewhere in space. I don’t remember when someone made a base out in the open. It’s actually kind of amusing.

“What are you even doing, anyway?” Anna asks, getting in front of me. “I see you walking around writing stuff down, but I’ve never seen any of these strange symbols before.”

‘Strange symbols’ as in English letters, I assume? They use a different language to write and read, even though we speak the same. An auto-translator, perhaps? Exclusive for those transported here since Kazuma and I can read and write their language.

“I’m just checking what needs fixing. The mansion was abandoned for a year or two, right?” I reply. “There’s bound to be a lot of things broken or in bad shape.”

“Probably.” She shrugs, then tilts her head at me. “But aren’t you an adventurer?”

“Yes?” I blink. “I don’t see how that’s relevant.”

“I mean, shouldn’t you get someone to check it out for you?” She clarifies. “You have caves to clear out and tombs to plunder. Why bother yourself with something like this?”

“Because it costs money to hire someone to do it for me,” I answer. “Besides, I’m capable. I see no reason to waste precious funds on something so negligible.”

And frankly, I don’t trust anyone to do a good job. That’s not counting all the renovations and upgrades I plan to do. I’d rather not pointlessly hire someone to do a job worse than what I can do.

“I guess I can understand that…” Anna hums. “But don’t you think it’s bothersome? It’s all just standing around and doing nothing.”

“On the contrary, I like it.” I smile at her. “It’s a lot of tedious work, yes, but it’s also very satisfying. And, well, I love building things. It’s kind of my specialty.”

I just really like having to use my brain.

“I’m used to adventurers who like killing stuff, not building stuff.” Anna shrugs. “But I guess you’re pretty weird.”

…Well, relative to the regular human person, I suppose that can’t be argued. I’ll just take it as a compliment.

“Thanks, I guess.”

That reminds me to scout out Verdia’s castle and figure out a good plan of attack, because while he’s nothing impressive, something tells me he’s not as much of a pushover as that Kyoga person was. I’d rather not face him head-on unless I’m absolutely sure I know what I’m fighting.

Does he have weaknesses? Resistances? Immunities? That kind of thing. This world somewhat works on litRPG rules even without my system, so I assume he’s weak or resistant to some elements. Dullahans are considered undead, so Holy Magic is most definitely effective against them.

…I can’t believe I’m even considering it, but perhaps I should recruit Megumin for this? She might be mostly useless beyond her explosion spell, but one explosion is all I need to defeat him. If I position her far enough away and lure Verdia into her line of sight, she should be able to take him out with her explosion magic. But I’d have to act quickly and prepare a trap spell that kills him at the last second, or I’d lose out on the EXP. Having to split the pay doesn’t concern me as much.

I’d consider Aqua as well, but she’d have to get close to him for her holy spells to land reliably, and something tells me his physical stats dwarf hers by far. And I don’t care how dumb he is, he should be smart enough to target healers and priests that can damage him first. I could be overestimating his competence, seeing how he’s STILL in that castle Megumin was casting explosions on, but I’m not taking any chances.

Then again, if I want to do this on my own, guerrilla tactics wouldn’t be too difficult to pull off, considering my mobility spells like flight. I could keep up a hit-and-run approach until I discover another possible weakness he might have, since I can’t use holy magic, then use that to my advantage. Definitely worth considering. I’ll just have to prepare a few backup plans beforehand.

But, again, it’s not like I’m in a hurry. Verdia doesn’t seem that concerned with Axel either, so I should have plenty of time to come up with something.

“Hmm?” Anna blinks before floating upward, quickly drawing my attention as she peeks at something in the distance. “Who’s that?”

I follow her line of sight, squinting my eyes and resisting a scowl as a very familiar moron in a standard brown tunic approaches me with a mixture of anger and desperation in his eyes. Oh, great…

“You!” He points at me. “Where’s Gram?! Where’s my cursed sword?! Don’t tell me you sold it, too!”

“You know him?” Anna questions.

“Sir, you’re trespassing on my property,” I tell him with a warning tone. “Leave before I call the guards.”

“No, I’m not leaving until you give me my weapon back!” He demands.

You know, I had a feeling this would happen. Sore losers like him can never accept defeat, and now that he has lost everything in his own arrogance fair and square, he comes to me demanding reparations.

He disgusts me.

“Who’s this joker?” Anna frowns and crosses her arms. And it’s then that I realize he can’t see or hear her. “Seriously, you know him? Who is he?”

“Some idiot that bit off more than he could chew.”

“What?” He blinks in confusion.

“I said I’m not giving you the sword back.” I scoff. Before he can argue, I cut him off. “Don’t be ridiculous. As per our agreement, if I win the duel, you are to relinquish everything on your person to me. You lost. Thus, ownership of all your possessions transferred to me. And don’t bother going to the authorities. I have several witnesses.”

“And now he’s here complaining about that?” Anna judges him coldly. “What a loser.”

“And you call me ridiculous?! How is that fair?!” He questions. “You don’t understand. My armor? Money? Sure, take them. But that sword is important to me!”

“That’s too bad,” I respond tonelessly. “Should’ve thought better before putting it on the line over a silly misunderstanding.”

“But– that’s— I thought I’d—”

“You thought you’d win? Of course, you thought that.” I roll my eyes. “A big hero with high-level gear challenging a couple of beginner adventurers. By all means, you should’ve wiped the floor with me. But that’s not what happened, was it?”

That shuts him up as he grows increasingly flustered.

“You’re right about one thing, Kyoga. This wasn’t fair at all. You never planned on playing fair in the first place.”

“It’s Kyouya!” Kyoga complains before sighing. “Look, I’ll pay you for it, alright? Just give it back.”

I pause and think about it for a moment before immediately deciding that I don’t want to part with the sword purely because of how rude he is. Not only is he trespassing, but he’s also really annoying about it, too. Really, can’t he at least ask nicely first? He hasn’t even said ‘please’ the entire time he was here.

I glance at Anna, who looks back before mirroring my devilish smile.

“Five hundred million Eris.” I make my offer. “No less than that.”

“You’re out of your damned mind!” He scowls. “You know how much money that is?! I can buy half the kingdom with that wealth!”

“That’s too bad.” I shrug. “But that’s the only offer I’m willing to give. Either pay, or walk away.”

“You can’t even use the sword!” He points out, becoming angrier and angrier. “It’s nothing more than a fancy paperweight for you! What would you need it for?!”

“That’s none of your business.” I glare at him, growing equally annoyed. Irritatingly persistent… “It’s my sword now. If you’re unhappy about that, remember that you have no one to blame but yourself. Now, I won’t give you another warning. Leave, or I’m calling the authorities on you.”

As I walk away to return to my work, I feel him putting a hand on my shoulder, prompting me to turn my head to him. In a single second, I go from mildly annoyed to royally pissed that he’d dare to lay a hand on me, barely stopping myself from slicing him into tiny cubes with my wind magic.

“I’m not done talking.” He says, making me clench my fist tightly.

I twirl around and put a hand around his neck, tightening my grip just enough to make it hurt, but not choke him.

“Touch me again, and I’ll turn you inside out, ass first.”

Kyoga flinches, anger transforming into surprise and a hint of fear. With a scowl, I prepare a lightning spell that would surely scorch him from the inside in an instant, but I control myself by exhaling deeply and shove him away instead. I don’t want to do something I’d regret. Even if he’s on my property uninvited, the law says I can’t kill him.

And although I can hide or vaporize the body easily, I refuse to let something so immature get the best of me.

“I think I’ve shown you enough courtesy,” I tell him, pointing at the gate he came from. “Leave. NOW. Or a prison cell will be the least of your worries.”

Before he can argue or even walk away, Luna’s voice echoes from Axel's giant sirens.

“All adventurers, please make your way to the northern gates immediately!” She demands, her tone that of panic. “Demon General Verdia is approaching Axel with an army! I repeat: Demon General Verdia is approaching Axel with an army!”

The news prompts my eyes to go wide in shock. What? Why? I thought he didn’t care about Axel? Did he change his mind? Now?

You’ve gotta be kidding me…

“A demon general?!” Kyoga’s eyes go wide. “Wait, the sword! You have to give me Gram back— I’m the only one who can fight him!”

My scowl deepens as I whip my head at him. This witless, conceited twit…

“Get out of my way,” I growl, shoving him to the side and walking past him toward the gate.

“Wait—”

But I don’t wait as I use my wind magic to carry me to the skies, zooming across Axel and toward the gate.

Once I’m done with this, the wannabe hero is next.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

– Kazuma –

Just when he thought things were finally looking up for him, life just had to throw a curveball in the worst way imaginable. Here he was, finally wealthy enough not to live in the filthy, uncomfortable stables of Axel, waking up every day to the smell of horseshit next to the most insufferably idiotic bitch he’d ever had the displeasure of meeting.

Finally, his financial situation was improving. Finally, his real adventure could start now that he had enough money to buy decent gear. For once in this fucking world, Kazuma felt optimistic. Hopeful. Positive. No more suffering. No more pain. His real adventure was finally, FINALLY starting!

His prayers had been answered by a true goddess, not the useless pretender following him everywhere. It felt good. With that much money, even if it was split between them, there was so much more he could do. So what if Carmine took that cursed sword for herself? It wasn’t like he could use it anyway. Really, she hadn’t even had to give them the rest of Kyouya’s equipment— she’d done it out of generosity, with a smile so beautiful it made him think that maybe life was worth living.

Every day, Kazuma became more and more convinced that she was a goddess of some sort. He almost went down on his knees and prostrated himself before her. Just by being near her, everything was turning out well for him. Yes, his idiot party members always tried to inadvertently ruin that goodwill, but his luck prevailed, goddamn it!

…For about a day. Because, just as Kazuma had thought that, some bullshit just had to happen. A random disaster would show up and sweep everything away, because his party wanted to see his downfall, as if he weren’t stuck at rock bottom already. They’d do anything just to see him cry in despair, even if they subjected themselves to hell with him.

“Why the hell do you INSIST on blowing up my castle?!” Verdia questioned indignantly, glaring at the stupid archwizard, whose head was lowered in a mixture of embarrassment and fear. “Where’s that party leader of yours, huh?! Was her promise a lie?! I should’ve known you lot are nothing more than rotten, honorless rats!”

With his lips thinned and patience with this dumb bitch gone, Kazuma stared at Megumin, having no intentions of helping her out. Of course, this dumbass had gone behind his back to continue doing what he’d explicity told her NOT to do. Why? Why the hell would he know? She had a death wish, apparently.

And, like the brain-dead chick she was, Aqua was the one who’d decided to humor her. When Kazuma was made aware that the castle belonged to Verdia, he quickly stopped taking Megumin for her daily explosions. It wasn’t worth the risk.

The blue-haired concentrated uselessness didn’t think so, as if she had completely forgotten who it was they were dealing with. Was it short-term memory loss? Did she think this was funny? Was she arrogant enough to think they and their tiny town of fuck-ups could handle a goddamn Demon General? Who knew?

What Kazuma knew for sure, however, was the fact that they were going to die. Because this time, as per Luna’s warning, Verdia didn’t come alone. Behind him was an entire undead army. A thousand corpses strong, growling and groaning as they prepared to march into Axel. Probably after their leader was done scolding the dipshit mage who kept blowing up his castle.

Verdia alone was probably too strong for everyone here, but a whole damned army? Seriously, what the hell were they supposed to do about this? Well, the answer to that would be ‘Carmine’, but could she deal with an entire army by herself? She was strong, yes, but she was still relatively low-level.

And she wasn’t even here to prove him wrong.

This was a disaster.

“I-it’s him.” Megumin pointed at Kazuma. “He’s my party leader.”

“You bitch!” Kazuma yelled. “What’s wrong with you?!”

“You think I’m so easily fooled, archwizard?!” Verdia bellowed. “I’ve never seen this man in my life. I’m talking about that other mage, dressed in the white suit. Your teacher, or whatever.”

“She’s not my teacher!” Megumin scowled at him, forgetting her fear for a moment. “That know-it-all jerk knows nothing about true magic.”

“I don’t care what she is to you,” Verdia replied. “I know she’s responsible. She commanded you to hit my castle with another explosion, didn’t she? Right after she promised she would stop.”

“No, she didn’t!” The midget archwizard denied. “I did it under my own volition! She’s not even my party leader— this guy is!”

“Shut up!” Kazuma panicked. “Don’t drag me into this!”

She was going to get them all killed. Why was she even arguing with him in the first place? Yeah, sure, piss off the demon general already angry at them even more. It wasn’t like he had an army ready to wipe them out, and now he was going to make it a slow and painful end. Was she stupid? Honestly, Kazuma didn’t want to be the center of attention. If he acted quickly enough, he might be able to escape when no one was looking.

“Hmph. Well, not like it matters.” Verdia scoffed, pointing his giant blade at them. “If she won’t show herself, then I’ll simply turn this town into a heap of smouldering ash. Prepare yourselves, noobies, and say your prayers. You face Verdia the Dullahan, General of the Demon Lord!”

The adventurers standing in front of the gates tensed. Their grips around their weapons tightened, beads of nervous sweat rolled down their cheeks and brows. Despite the tremendous level difference, they refused to run away. A commendable trait that Kazuma lacked, and he wasn’t ashamed to admit it.

Shame? What was that, anyway?

…Although, for some reason, his legs didn’t move. Not out of fear, despite the terror he felt at the moment. It was something else. It felt as if he was missing something. No, more accurately, as if he were missing someone.

As he stared at Megumin’s back, his jaw clenched in a mixture of frustration and concern. His gaze then switched to Aqua and Darkness beside him, realizing something damning about himself.

These three morons brought nothing but pain for him. Every single day, they’d find a way to fuck up even the simplest of quests. Being brought here, Kazuma had suffered through a convoluted series of unfortunate events, and he thought it was a miracle that they weren’t dead yet. All because he’d felt petty enough to take Aqua with him.

Really, what did these three ever offer him? Pain and suffering? No, thank you. He’d had enough of that in his past life. In fact, Kazuma prayed for a chance to go back to his man cave on Earth. He wasn’t the happiest man around back then, but it was so, so much better than THIS.

…At the same time, Kazuma felt oddly unwilling to leave them here to die.

“Charge!” Verdia ordered, and his army of undead obeyed, marching on with great enthusiasm.

He exhaled and took out his bow, preparing for a gruesome death. The things he did for them…

…You know, maybe we shouldn’t have taken Kyouya’s sword. He thought.

In return, the adventurers all let out a battle cry and met the army of undead head-on, even with them being outnumbered a hundred to one. The tanks in heavy armor and shields took the lead, barely stopping the incoming undead march as archers shot a volley of arrows at the enemy. It would’ve been fine if they faced regular weak skeletons. Even Kazuma could clear out a cave full of them, but Verdia’s army consisted of high-level ghouls, zombies, and skeleton champions. Even then, with enough effort, they could likely handle it, considering the number of priests within their ranks. Tough, but doable with good enough coordination and teamwork.

That was if Verdia wasn’t buffing his army with whatever spell he was currently casting.

“Everyone, buff as many adventurers as possible!” He yelled at the priests and priestesses. “And keep your anti-undead spells to a minimum! Only cast when possible, but focus primarily on our tanks— make sure they stay alive!”

The healers flinched, but quickly recovered and nodded, doing as he told them. Then, Kazuma switched his gaze toward the mages.

“Cast as many area of effect spells as possible, but only target the back lines of the enemy troops! Archers, make sure no enemy breaks through our defense!” He said, then approached Megumin and addressed her. “Can you cast an explosion spell?”

“I-I already did it today.” She muttered, sounding somewhat remorseful.

Here goes our ticket to victory. He thought with a hiss, nocking an arrow and aiming at a ghoul. “Then fall back.”

“What’s with you, suddenly becoming so competent?” Aqua wondered out loud, making his eye twitch. “Since when were you reliable?”

“Shut the fuck up and do your damned job!”

“Okay, okay! Don’t yell at me!” She whined.

But despite everyone working in tandem, they only barely kept the enemy at bay. Verdia hadn’t even made his move yet, staring them down with a menacing glare atop his horse. Maybe taking Kyouya’s sword really had been a mistake…

Trying their hardest wasn’t enough as the undead army began overwhelming their tanks and warriors, pushing them back and even killing a few of them, a scene Kazuma would’ve found horrific had he not been so busy praying for a quick death.

We’re dead. He thought, on the verge of tears, as he shot with his bow as fast as he could. We’re SO dead.

But before the undead could get any closer, a great wall of flames formed between them and the adventurers, fierce enough that it scared the undead into scrambling away. Those who were still alive backed off, shocked and confused, until the figure of what looked like a true goddess, carried by a gentle whirlwind, floated above them all.

We’re saved. He thought with a relieved smile.

It was none other than Carmine, looking down at the undead army. Now, Kazuma knew that they weren’t in the clear yet, as this was a demon general they were dealing with, but with a dramatic entrance like that, he couldn’t help but feel confident in his chances of survival now.

And he wasn’t the only one feeling that way, as the adventurers cheered for her. Carmine’s presence amplified morale as she fearlessly stood in the way of the demon general, showing peerless focus and poise.

“Carmine is here!”

“Way to go, Ms. Artificer!”

“It’s Axel’s dominatrix! We’re saved!”

“STOP CALLING ME THAT!” She yelled at them, definitely not showing cracks in her mask of composure as a ball of lightning danced in the palm of her hand.

“What’s this about a dominatrix?” Verdia asked, sounding oddly curious. Almost interested.

“It’s nothing.” She hissed in response. “Just… state your business. Why are you here? I thought you were going to leave us alone.”

“Sure, until that midget of yours started blasting my castle again.” He said, making her pause. “Under your orders, no doubt.”

Carmine didn’t answer. She only very slowly turned her head around to look at Kazuma and his party. Her blank expression didn’t tell him much, but he could see the boiling rage behind her red eyes— the unsaid ‘you had one fucking job’ that both hurt and terrified him immensely. He wasn’t the only one who felt this, as Megumin cowered and hid behind Kazuma.

But instead of scolding them or, god forbid, abandoning them to fight him on their own, she addressed Verdia once again.

“Correct.” She said, surprising Kazuma and Megumin. “I told her to use explosion spells on your castle.”

That was something neither of them had expected. Kazuma was sure she would’ve floated down toward them and spanked her right in front of everyone present.

“WHY?!” Verdia questioned indignantly.

“What do you mean, why? You’re an enemy.” She scoffed. “A gullible one, as well. Why would you believe me when I said I’d promise to stop attacking you? Are you five?”

“Do you have any sense of honor?!”

“You deserve none of it.” She replied coolly.

Dayum.

Verdia growled and sneered.

“No wonder they call you a dominatrix.”

“I’m NOT a—!” She gritted her teeth, face going red from either embarrassment or anger. Probably both. “You know what?! Fuck you!”

Conjuring two blades made of ice in both hands, Carmine charged bravely toward the demon general, who blocked her attack with his own great sword. Although she did not land the hit, she still forced him to cancel out the buffing spell.

In comparison to his giant weapon, Carmine’s smaller sabers weren’t anywhere near as powerful, thus breaking seconds into their clash. However, the small shards suddenly burst into a gust of frigid wind, surprising the demon general and freezing his horse solid.

Verdia quickly got off his shattering mount, glowing red eyes staring into Carmine’s, who had formed two more blades.

“Interesting.” He mumbled. “To think someone like this exists in Axel…”

“Take care of the rest,” Carmine told the adventurers. “I’ll handle Verdia.”

With his buff spell out of the way, that was, once again, very doable.

“Aqua, support skills,” Kazuma told his blue-haired companion.

She nodded and pointed her staff at their only hope for victory.

“Prayer!”

Enveloped by a colorful ray of support magic, Carmine’s stats rose significantly. It was now or never. And honestly? He was confident. More than that, this was a fantastic chance to raise her opinion of him. Risky, but if it worked, it would be very worth it.

He kept a close eye on Carmine’s battle with Verdia.

All Kazuma needed was to find the perfect opportunity.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

– Carmine –

I wouldn’t say it’s like me to abandon a post so willingly, but even I have to admit, I genuinely thought about leaving the adventurers to die in Axel. I’ve made it explicitly clear that Verdia is to be left alone, and yes, perhaps I’ve not shared my plans of ambushing him in his castle, but it’s not like they needed to know that. I was very transparent with them, even bailed out their archwizard, thinking that, while blowing up random castles with high-potency explosion magic for no reason was insane, she didn’t know there was a demon general living there.

She is still a child. She needs to be shown some leniency even if she’s a complete moron. So, for her to go behind my back and continue provoking the only nearby threat that can wipe out Axel means she’s either brain-dead, or she’s doing this solely to piss me off. I don’t understand why. I don’t know what I did to make her hate me so much, and at this point, I don’t care.

I had every right to take my belongings and leave. Enjoy the rest of my adventure in the capital or another kingdom. Yes, losing the mansion I had just gotten sucks, but it’s whatever. I can build my own mansion anyway. A setback, but it’s ultimately not that much of an issue.

But this wouldn’t be fair to the other adventurers. They had nothing to do with Megumin luring out a demon general with her reckless behavior and disobedience. Leaving them to die here would leave a bad taste in my mouth, and that’s not counting the innocent civilians living in Axel.

From a practical standpoint, letting Verdia destroy Axel and fuel his army with its corpses doesn’t bode very well, I think. Additionally, this region is suitable for beginners due to its safety and the general absence of powerful mobs. With it gone, there would be far fewer opportunities for new and talented adventurers to train. They’d have to join the guild in other cities, where the territory is far less forgiving.

So instead of heartlessly leaving everyone here to die, I will do what I’ve always done to my siblings whenever they act similarly, and instead, punish the archwizard accordingly. Whether by taking her staff away for a few weeks or the good, reliable way of spanking until she sees the error of her ways. Perhaps then she’ll learn her lesson.

But, for now, there’s a demon general to be slain.

Even as each sword I create shatters upon the third or fourth strike, I keep pressure on Verdia, using my superior mobility to prevent him from countering in any meaningful way. I make no dent on his armor or sword, and my swings aren’t heavy enough to push or overpower him for a lethal attack, but I have him on the defensive still.

He is slower, but significantly stronger and more durable. And unlike Kyoga, he’s not only skilled but also experienced. If he lands one clean hit, I might lose. I also keep an eye out for my mana, my lifeline in this battle. If I run out too quickly, I will lose. Not to mention, I’ve not figured out any of his weaknesses yet.

Eventually, as the battle stretches on with him struggling to find an opening, Verdia unleashes a dark shockwave that forces me to back off, followed by several necromatic blasts toward me from the tip of his sword. I evade with minimal movement, casting a lasso of lightning, which I use to pull myself toward him, kicking him in the chest.

Pushed a few inches back, he grunts, but quickly recovers as he swings his greatsword at me in an attempt to cleave me in half, which I avoid by propelling myself upward with wind. Gaining the high ground, I release a barrage of elemental blasts, from fireballs to powerful jets of water.

Verdia responds, slashing several spells before leaping away from a chakram made of water. Seeing this, I charge in melee range once again, this time using the earth to create a great hammer I use to slam him with, doing the most damage thus far.

Debris and dust fly in all directions, masking the area as the shattered stones and rocks fuse into the ground beneath him before protruding and trapping him in place just long enough for me to strike him in the chest with a fist reinforced with magic, freezing his breastplate and right arm.

However, before the ice can reach the arm holding his head, he throws it to the sky, surprising me with that maneuver before he releases another shockwave, this time to clear out the dust cloud. As I aim at the head suspended above, I’m suddenly slashed several times in a second. Cuts appear on my chest, legs, thighs, and collarbone, but I thankfully react just quickly enough to get out of the way before he lands a lethal blow.

As blood drips down from my newly formed wounds, I clench my jaw in mild frustration, somewhat confused at what just happened, as he catches his falling head. What was that?

“I’m surprised.” He says. “You’re clearly no tanker, yet you’ve withstood an attack no other opponent of mine survived. I commend you, Dominatrix of Axel.”

I swear to god, if he calls me that one more time…

I cough up a bit of my own blood and exhale deeply. I want to say he’s bluffing, but he’s not. Without my natural draconic endurance, I would’ve collapsed. These wounds aren’t shallow— they’re deep enough that if I were a normal human, I would’ve died.

This is why I hate being underleveled.

…Each wound I suffer is ten more spanks.

I don’t respond to him, getting into a stance once more. Then again, I have my chance. If whatever he just did requires him to throw his head to the sky, then that’s my window to finish him off. I just have to force him to do that move one more time. Otherwise, his head is protected well enough that there’s no way I can land a clean hit. I have to keep the pressure on him.

And I do just that, using whatever time is left on Aqua’s buff to rush him. I ignore the pain caused by my injuries and don’t let it slow me down one bit; I'm used to far worse than that, something Verdia had clearly not expected, as he grunts in surprise at my persistence.

This time, I strike with twofold my earlier aggressiveness, using more than one element and combining several into one. At the cost of burning through my mana reserves quicker, but it eventually pays off, as I notice something in Verdia’s behavior. Something that clues me in to his weakness.

When it comes to fire, ice, lightning, and most other elements—

Verdia slices through a block of ice with his greatsword while extinguishing an incoming fireball with his own necromantic magic. As the floating pebbles and rocks stick to him in an effort to slow him down, he effortlessly breaks through them, resisting the bolt of lightning striking him from above.

… He pushes on regardless of the damage. He’s confident in his resistance.

But with water magic—

With razor-sharp chakrams of water thrown his way, Verdia dodges them, as he does several other weapons of the same element. I attack in close range with a longsword with powerful jets for a blade, and the demon general does everything he can to evade it as if his life depended on it.

…He avoids it like the plague. He doesn’t even think about tanking.

With his weakness now obvious, I focus solely on water spells, using them defensively as well. Seeing him avoiding even barriers only confirms it, prompting me to become slightly more reckless in expending my magic. The result is Verdia growing more flustered and anxious by the second, realizing I’m fully aware of what he fears.

While he’s yet to see the trap I’m laying out right before him.

“Damn you…!” He curses, trying to match my aggressive pace.

He swings his sword more frequently as I get closer, casting more and more spells to keep me off him, but I don’t give him one more second to breathe, keeping the pressure until he starts to slip. It’s then that some of my water spells begin landing, making him react more vocally, going through his generic boss lines.

“Arghh!” He groans as I slash him across the chest with a water blade. “You’ll pay for this!”

Hearing the panic in his tone, I understand that it’s time, prompting me to slow down my onslaught just enough to give him the opportunity he thinks he needs, and the idiot takes the bait, throwing his head up in the sky to use that move once again. As soon as he does that, I launch myself toward his head…

Only for Verdia to grab me by the foot, making my eyes widen in surprise.

“As if!”

He slams me back down, causing a small crater to form beneath me. I try to get away, but then he stomps on my leg, pinning me down and aiming to stab me in the chest. I quickly cast several barriers of ice in front of me, unsure if they’re going to be enough to stop his attack.

As his greatsword goes through several of them, a familiar voice shouts.

“STEAL!”

In a flash of light, the blade stops right before the final ice barrier I created. I blink in confusion, but use this moment to escape by pushing Verdia off me with a gust of wind. Still unsure of what happened, I search for the source of the voice, spotting Kazuma holding onto Verdia’s head.

“W-what—?!” Verdia is in utter shock. “You?!”

I couldn’t get a word in before he spoke.

“Now’s your chance!” He says, throwing Verdia’s head at me.

Using what little energy I have left, I cast the strongest water spell I can muster— a great eastern dragon that consumes the demon general’s head before flying upward, weakening him enough to force the rest of his body to its knees.

“Give me your sword!” I outstretched my arm toward Kazuma.

He reacts immediately, throwing me the sword, which I enhance with my reinforcement magic as well as a temporary water enchantment. With the water dragon dispelled with no more mana sustaining it, the head falls down, and right before it touches the ground, I swing the sword as hard as I can.

“Impossible…” He mumbles his unsurprisingly generic last word as the blade cleanly slices through Verdia’s head, causing cracks to form over the helmet before it shatters and slowly disintegrates.

The rest of the body, standing behind me, preparing to swing the greatsword, follows suit, disintegrating twice as quickly. The armor falls to the ground, breaking apart as the dark magic that supported it vanishes into nothingness.

Level up! x12

And in the next few seconds, the rest of the army began collapsing, soldier by soldier, as their souls are freed from their damning state as undead. I exhale deeply. That was a lot closer than I thought it would be…

I then look at Kazuma with a genuine smile.

“Thanks for the save.” I nod in gratitude, giving him his weapon back. “That could’ve gone badly if not for you. I owe you one, Kazuma.”

“Heh. Well, you saved my ass back when that Rookie Killer attacked.” He responds, mirroring my smile. “So let’s call it even.”

Fair enough.

Right on cue, the surviving adventurers begin cheering, raising their weapons to the sky at our victory over a demon lord general. A feat done by a few dozen ‘beginner adventurers’. Much as I dread it, my reputation will likely soar once the news spreads. Though, admittedly, despite my countless advantages over the other adventurers, doing what is deemed impossible by many does feel very good.

To seek difficult challenges and conquer them is part of my draconic nature, I suppose. And to be honest, I have a feeling that even without me, they could’ve pulled it off. Verdia’s weakness, being vulnerable to water, of all things, makes Aqua the perfect counter to him anyway.

And with such a vast amount of mana reserves relative to what I’m capable of at the moment, a simple spell from her would’ve drowned him.

Approached by an amazed Darkness and an anxious problem child, the former speaks first.

“You’re incredible, Ms. Carmine.” She praises, looking at me with admiration. “To think you’d be able to match and even defeat a demon lord general, even as a beginner adventurer. I’m in awe.”

“Thank you, but everyone did well today,” I respond in kind. “Keeping the undead army busy prevented catastrophic interruptions in my battle, and I would’ve died without Kazuma’s assistance.”

“Indeed.” Darkness nods. “I’ll admit, I am a little surprised at how resourceful Kazuma was the entire time.”

“Fuck you mean, surprised?” He scowls. “You idiots would’ve been six feet under without me, and you know it. Seriously, what kind of moron charges into the enemy line, deliberately surrounds herself with undead, and somehow still misses every fucking swing?”

“I-I was protecting Aqua!” She argues. “You saw how those disgusting, filthy monsters targeted her, right? I had to be her shield, no matter how amazing— I mean, painful their attacks felt.”

“Yeah, it was super weird how desperate they were to get her,” Megumin adds, completely ignoring her quirk. “What’s that about?”

Well, lost souls wanting to move on would target the first thing that could grant them salvation.

“Right…” Kazuma looks unconvinced by Darkness’s excuse. He then sighs. “So what are we supposed to do now? Should we go inform Luna?”

“For sure.” I nod, my expression growing slightly somber. “Perhaps we can ask her to arrange a proper burial for those who lost their lives. It’s the least they deserve.”

“Oh, there’s no need.” A fourth voice adds. “They’re back.”

I blink, glancing at the blond man wearing a red track jacket who inserted himself into the conversation.

“What do you mean, they’re back?” I ask.

“They’re back. Look.” He points at the adventurers that I witnessed dying during the battle, laughing and cheering together. “Aqua revived them.”

“Oh…I-I see.”

…Huh.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad they’re alive and well, but this feels… somewhat anticlimactic?

“I’m Dust, by the way. It’s nice to meet you.” The blond man says, extending a hand toward me. “You were really cool back there. Don’t think we would’ve done it without you.”

“Pleasure’s mine. I’m Carmine.” I nod, shaking his hand. “Thank you.”

“Better be real nice to her, Dust. Or else.” Kazuma says, sounding arrogant for some reason. “This is my party member you’re talking to.”

“Don’t push it.” I quickly shoot him down.

“Sorry.”

“So, should we head back?” Darkness asks. “I imagine there would be a great feast to accommodate our victory.”

“A feast sounds nice~” I hum pleasantly. “But there’s something I need to do first.”

“Oh?” The crusader looks at me, a little intrigued.

Instead of clarifying, I glance at Megumin, my smile never dropping.

“W-what?” She quickly notices my gaze. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Despite my current great mood after triumphing over a demon general, not even a month since coming to this world…

I haven’t forgiven her yet.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” The problem child cries out, bent over my knees as her bottom glows red after eighteen spanks. “It won’t happen again! Please forgive me!”

“It was a simple order. Stay put and stop provoking the high-level general that could’ve wiped out all of Axel.” I reply, ignoring her pleas for mercy. “And what do you do? You blew up his castle again. And for what?”

“I-I’m sorry! B-but I’m a Crimson Demon— I have to cast explosion once a day or I die—”

“Stop lying to me.” I cut her off with another spank.

“Eeeek?!”

“What you did nearly turned all of Axel into a graveyard,” I explain. ”Would you have made that excuse among the mountain of corpses then?”

Megumin sobs, and although what would’ve been an uncomfortable scene for some, I know it to be very necessary. Her actions nearly caused the deaths of many— rather, they did kill a few, and had it not been for Aqua reviving those that fell during the battle, I might’ve given Megumin a much harsher punishment.

Letting her go scot free might make her even more careless in the future. It’ll cement the idea that with Aqua around, mistakes have little to no consequences, and that’s not good. Yes, she’s not my child or even a family member, so it’s not my responsibility to teach her that what she did was wrong, but if no one is here to punish her, then I’ll do it myself. She’ll learn to thank me soon enough.

After the battle ended, I simply ‘borrowed’ her from Kazuma and his party for a little bit, and while she was unwilling for a bit, likely sensing something was wrong, I dragged her by the ear to a private room in the guild anyway. She tried to be stubborn, saying things like ‘an archwizard’s willpower is unmatched!’ and that she ‘couldn’t even feel a thing’.

She folded after the third spank.

But there might be some merit to her words. Despite her cries and pleas for forgiveness, she doesn’t feel a lick of regret. Remorse, yes. Most definitely. But regret? Not a trace. She even refuses to humor my totally gentle suggestion to learn other spells. I’m honestly a little impressed.

“I’m sorry! Please stop spanking me. It hurts!”

“It’s supposed to hurt. That’s why it’s called a ‘punishment.’” I remind her. “You’re lucky I’m in a good mood, otherwise I would’ve spanked you fifty times instead.”

“T-then, does that mean—”

“If you ever do something stupid like this again, you WILL regret it,” I promise her, raising my hand. “Last one.”

“Huh— OW!!” Megumin flinches as I strike her rear one more time. 

As I release my hold on her, the archwizard gets off and looks at me with a crimson face, holding her equally red butt with her hands in pain, embarassment and anger.

“N-not even my mother did this to me.” She growls, almost adorably so, as she points at me. “Y-you’ll get what’s coming for you! I, Crimson Demon Archwizard Megumin, will have my revenge, you shitty Dominatrix!”

“Don’t call me that!” I snap.

“You’ll see!” She says, quickly running out of the room.

My expression of irritation fades as I let out a deep sigh. As long as she refrains from endangering herself and those around her, she can pursue whatever revenge she intends to enact.

I get off the bed and follow Megumin after a few moments, opening the door only to see Darkness standing right outside, breathing heavily. I don’t need enhanced senses to see her arousal, not when she’s panting like a dog like this.

“T-to think the noble, powerful Carmine is capable of such a thing…” She mumbles, blue eyes begging me to do to her what I did to the problem child. “By my honor as a crusader, I will take on the rest of the punishment in Megumin’s stead!”

…I think I want to go home now.