A Dragon's Curse Upon This Illogical World! Chapter 6

Edited by: Marethyu, Priapus

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"Quests in caves or mines?" Luna blinks at my question. "That's an… oddly specific request. Is there a reason?"

"Nothing in particular." I deny. "I just think that treasures are more common in these locations."

I say 'treasures', but I really mean materials I can use to start building tools and gadgets. Besides the obvious idea of clearing quests until I'm wealthy enough to afford housing, which I can do very easily, I think focusing on creating a business would suit me far better and is a much better long-term option.

Not that I'm exactly quitting being an adventurer/mercenary since I've yet to see what this world has in store, but you should never underestimate a passive income. What is it I'm selling? Anything that can net me reasonable profit, really. Having practical knowledge about modern worlds makes earning money in fantasy worlds almost effortless.

Most of the effort is in acquiring the needed materials and supplies, which is what I'm doing. Caves and mines are bound to have raw minerals and other things that I can use to build proper machines that can then be used to create whatever products I'm willing to sell.

I can also just buy the materials I need, but that's just a massive waste of money. Why buy something that I can just find? Convenience, sure, but I'm not lazy. I can and will gladly do these things on my own.

The biggest problem right now is finding a place where I can build a factory, a place that's effectively hidden from anyone who isn't me. Because I hate it when strangers poke around my property and touch my things without my permission. Government officials or not.

This leads me to the second reason why I'm looking for a cave. Creating a hidden entrance in one shouldn't take me too long, and reshaping its inner chasm wouldn't be too tough with my Earth magic at the level it's on right now.

As long as I find one that's relatively close to the city, I'll be satisfied.

"I suppose that's true…" The receptionist thinks for a moment. "You say you haven't found one on the board, yes?"

"Unfortunately." I shake my head. "I already picked a few other missions for today, but I came here wondering if you have what I'm looking for."

"Right, let me just check…" She says, bending down from behind the counter, assumingly checking for extra quests. "I vaguely remember an abandoned quest about something similar to what you're requesting, but I'm not sure…"

If she doesn't find one, then oh well. I only asked her for one to see if I could earn something extra out of it. I can always look for a cave after finishing one of the quests I already picked.

"Hmm… I'm afraid you're out of luck, Ms. Carmine." Luna says, coming back up with a poster curiously enough. "I only found this."

She gives me the poster to read. There's a decently-sized mansion in the suburbs of the city that has been abandoned after its owner and his daughter passed away. The extended family of those two live outside of Axel, so they haven't been able to take care of it, and because of the lack of proper care, its sewer system is infested with slimes.

Convenient.

"Since slimes are annoying to handle and the quest isn't urgent, no one was willing to take it." She explains. "So it has been sitting there collecting dust for a while now."

"It doesn't help that the pay is low for a four-star quest."

I'm not sure why it's a four-star quest to begin with. Are slimes here powerful? Or are there too many of them? It's called an infestation, after all. I imagine there are at least ten of them roaming about.

"That too." Luna nods. "I know it's not what you're exactly looking for, but…"

"No, this is good enough," I respond. "I'll handle it."

While not exactly a cave or a mine I can use to gather resources, it's an easy access to the underground. I can create my own mine that way using Earth magic anyway. It may be inside the city, but really, that's not much of an issue. I've overseen mining and drilling projects right beneath cities and towns before, and it's not that hard with the proper tools.

Plus, it's only about a ten-minute walk from the guild hall, so it's very close. So, if I can maybe acquire the mansion itself, then that's two birds with one stone. Three, actually. Because then Crimson can't make fun of me.

The poor quality it was left in is bound to bring its price down enough to make it a lot more affordable than it should be. And fixing its problems might make the current owners view me favorably and perhaps give me a discount. Or, at the very least, let me live here until I'm rich enough to purchase it.

I hope. Nobody lives there, so I don't see why they wouldn't let me borrow it for a bit. If anything, I'm willing to take care of the property for them so infestations like this don't happen again.

"Ah, that's wonderful. Thank you so much, Ms. Carmine." The blond receptionist smiles. "I'll make sure to prepare a bonus just for you. You have no idea how long we were waiting for someone to take care of it. We almost requested knights from the capital to do it…"

"You make it sound like a problem." I blink.

"It's expensive." She clarifies. "Very expensive. Axel runs almost entirely on adventurers to handle these problems, with very few obligatory knights positioned as city guards. Requesting a knight party to address a quest our adventurers should've cleared wouldn't be good for our budget."

That makes adventurers the cheaper alternative. I am not sure what makes the capital knights so costly to hire, but I very much doubt they're that much more competent than your typical adventurer. I think. Unless every adventurer here is exactly like Kazuma and his party, then I'd be shocked that Axel is still standing.

Maybe it's a difference in experience? I imagine knights from the capital have dealt with a lot more demonic monsters due to the war, so they should be a lot higher-leveled than rookie adventurers in the rookie town of Axel.

Oh well. It's not like it matters.

"I see. I understand." I say, ending the conversation. "I'll be moving now. I'll try to be back before nightfall."

"Of course. Don't let me keep you waiting." She waves. "Good luck on your quests. And be careful."

I walk away and exit the building. This shouldn't be too tough. In my experience, slimes are almost always at the bottom of the food chain. Mindless, slow, easy to destroy. Even a hundred of them aren't a threat. But Luna mentioned them being 'annoying', so I probably shouldn't be assuming things, especially since I haven't taken a look at their page in the bestiary yet.

Underestimating something or someone almost always ends in disaster. I didn't live this long and accomplish so much by being cocky.

On my way to the mansion, I feel a sudden urge to run away as I spot Kazuma and his group on their way to the guild building. So before I'm caught, I take a detour and avoid them entirely, sighing in relief once I'm sure that they haven't seen me. That was close.

I don't want them tagging along.

"—what the hell am I supposed to do about that?" I hear Kazuma growl in barely contained fury.

It's then that I notice him carrying a limp Megumin on his back. They're done with their quest for the day? Even earlier than me. I'm honestly a little impressed. But they look relatively fresh for a party forced to use their trump card.

Hmm…

"Well, maybe if someone didn't give all our money away, we could've afforded warmer clothes!" Aqua complains, shivering. "It's almost winter, you idiot! We're not prepared at all!"

"Shut the hell up!" He snaps. "I did that for our own good!"

The two continue arguing like an old couple while Darkness tries to get in between their argument in an attempt to calm them down but fails miserably. Huh. It's almost winter? I didn't notice. Yay for being immune to the cold, I suppose.

I don't know what that means for me since I haven't had to worry about seasons in so long, but I'll think about that after I'm done with my quest. Here's hoping it doesn't take too much of my time.

I skipped breakfast for it. I don't want to skip lunch, too.

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Stopping by the mansion's gate, I scan its outside and yard, realizing that getting this place for myself might actually be worth the effort. It's not small by any means, but it's not too big that it makes it tedious to take care of. It may be too large for one person, and I've admittedly always preferred smaller and tighter spaces, but other than that, it's perfect. Surely, it would make Crimson jealous. I doubt his house is as big as this, and he's the one who likes extravagant buildings like this.

Well, kind of. He doesn't like them if no maids are caring for the place in his stead. But I'm here for a job, not to daydream. Daydreaming comes later once I get this over with.

I walk through the gate and head toward a shack in the corner of the site, where an outside basement door leads straight to the sewers. Walking down the stairs, the first thing I notice is the strange cleanliness of the sewer. Granted, it hasn't been used for a little over a year now, but I expected something a lot worse from the lack of maintenance. It doesn't even smell. Odd.

I grab one of the unlit torches hanging on the wall and cast a small fire spell on it, then begin looking for the slimes. Each footstep I take echoes through the sewer system, coupled with gentle droplets hitting the stone floor. Other than that, it's very quiet. I'd say it's too quiet, but I'm dealing with slimes. They don't usually make a lot of noise.

It doesn't take long to encounter one of them, though. A small blue slime with a slightly glowing core freezes the moment it sees me before doing its hardest to attack, moving at a staggering two centimeters a second. I still don't see what's so annoying about them if they're that slow…

Wanting to save my magic in case I find something more dangerous here, I unsheathe a regular longsword I bought recently, casually swinging it at the ferocious beast. To my mild surprise, the sword does nothing as it bounces off its gelatinous body, making me blink. Huh, and I put a lot of power behind that. So it's the type that's immune to physical damage? Okay, I can see how annoying that can be. But it's still nothing too problematic.

I use my reinforcement magic to empower my right arm and enhance the blade with artificer magic, strengthening its piercing capabilities before thrusting at the slime, trying to reach and destroy its core. I manage to pierce it this time, but it's not enough. I click my tongue in annoyance as I'm nowhere close to hitting said core, the thick gel stopping my attack fairly easily.

"Not good enough, I suppose," I mutter, pulling my sword back. "I'm too low-leveled to brute force through the gel."

Which is weird. I knew not to underestimate them, but I thought slimes were supposed to be one of the weaker monsters. That's how it is in nearly every single universe I know about. I guess I'm wrong about that.

I put the sword back in its sheathe and cast a simple lightning spell that would surely take it out, but it does little to nothing, making me frown. I can tell that my attack damaged it, but not that much. Resistant to lightning spells, perhaps?

This time, I cast a fire spell. Same reaction. Ice, earth, water, wind— all of it barely damages the thing.

"What is this?" I mutter to myself, feeling a little frustrated. "Is it resistant to all magic?"

From the corner, a second slime comes out, and more and more of all sizes show up after it, the noise of my spells seemingly attracting all the nearby monsters in the sewer. There are a lot of them, but they're very slow. Still, their numbers could be a problem. Alright, I see why people didn't want to deal with this quest. If it's immune to physical damage and highly resistant to magic, then what are you supposed to do against it?

Even attacking the core is difficult. If not even my reinforcement could make a difference, then these things were never easy to deal with. I think I understand why it's a four-star quest now.

I can probably eradicate all of them with a single charged spell, but I don't think the owners will be happy about me cleaning up the slime problem if I end up destroying the mansion in the process. I imagine that's not good for business.

I casually avoid one of the slime's leaps, going around it and its herd to explore the sewer and look for clues. If killing them is out of the question, then I have to figure out where they came from and why they're here first. Maybe that'll help.

Because while I can just lead them out from the way I came from and get rid of them outside…

I glance at the herd of slimes, moving at the same speed as the slowest snail in existence, then grimace. That's going to take way too long, and I'm starting to feel very hungry. I should've prepared better. Slimes might actually be a force to be reckoned with in this world.

This is why we don't rush things, Carmine. Would it have hurt you to open the bestiary and take a look before taking this quest? Though, I don't think this would've changed much, regardless if it was a single slime, maybe. But there are tens of them here.

So, with the slimes struggling to keep up with my casual walking pace, I look around the suspiciously clean sewer for clues. I mean, it's definitely not maintained at all. I can tell that much. It's just weirdly spotless—

I pause and look at the slimes following me, suddenly realizing something. Unless…

I reinforce my hand with magic and strike the wall next to me to crack it, picking a few shattered rocks and pebbles before throwing them at the slimes to test my theory. Lo and behold, as the first slime touches the stone shards, it dissolves them in seconds. Seeing this makes me smile. I knew it. This explains everything.

From why a slime showed up in the first place to how there are so many of them. If it can dissolve materials this fast, then you just need a single slime to clean this entire place up. One slime will be forced to split itself constantly; otherwise, it would be too big to move around the sewer properly.

Knowing this doesn't really help me find a way to get rid of them, but it does give me an idea. Slimes like this are the perfect system to get rid of waste. All you ever need to do to maintain them is to release a bunch of them into the wild every once in a while so it doesn't get overcrowded.

The alternative is destroying them and leaving one alive, turning this into a slow but convenient EXP farm.

That could work.

"But how should I explain this to the guild and, subsequently, the owners…" I mutter quietly to myself.

"Explain what?"

I pause at the unfamiliar voice, prompting me to look behind me and see a floating little girl with empty eye sockets, her neck bent in an unnatural way as she bleeds from every orifice on her head. She gives me a wide, bloody grin straight out of the corniest horror movie one could possibly think of.

The ghost girl lets out a monstrous scream the moment I look at her, seemingly trying to scare me off, but I remain unfazed, giving her a somewhat confused stare. At my blink, the ghost pauses her scream.

…

"Hi?" I greet awkwardly, not knowing what to say. "Do you need something from me?"

"...Why aren't you scared?"

"Should I be?"

"Yes?!" The ghost says, clearly annoyed at my reaction. "How else should you be reacting to a spirit looking like this?!"

"Oh." I stop to think. "By all means, I was a little startled."

Not really. But I don't want to hurt her feelings.

"So why aren't you screaming and running in fear, then?!"

"Well, I didn't really sense any malicious intent," I respond truthfully. "And I'm used to seeing things like this."

I like silly 'horror' movies. They're almost always funnier than comedy movies, somehow.

"You're used to— you know what, never mind. You ruined the prank anyway." The spirit grumbles, reshaping itself into an ordinary little girl with short blond hair and blue eyes. "What's your name anyway, miss? And what are you doing here?"

"Carmine. An adventurer. I'm here to handle the slime infestation. Though, I don't think it's a problem that warrants someone taking care of anymore." I answer. "What about you?"

"Anna. I used to own the mansion before I died." She says before pausing. "Well, my dad used to own it, but then he died from an illness, leaving me with it. But then I died from that same illness, so…"

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's alright. I like being a spirit." She waves it off. "I can fly around and go through walls. Look."

Anna demonstrates her ability to phase through objects by flying through the ceiling and then coming back down.

"See?" She smiles. But that smile turns into a sad one a second later. "Though, it gets lonely sometimes. I can't leave the mansion, and not many people can see me. I felt really happy when you saw me, y'know?"

That's what being a dragon does for you. When mana is in my blood, I can do and see much more than your regular human.

"I see. It's nice to meet you too, Anna." I give her a gentle smile. "But I have to clear my other quests and report back to the guild now."

"Oh. Okay." Anna blinks. "Um, I know I tried to scare you just now, but would it be okay if you came back to play with me sometime soon, Ms. Carmine? It's really boring being alone here…"

Aw, she's so cute. I can't say no to a face like that.

"Of course." I nod. I'd pat her head if my hand didn't phase through her. "I don't know if this means anything to you, but I'm hoping I can own this mansion someday."

"Really?" She looks at me with a hopeful expression.

"Yup. I'm sure your extended family is okay with me buying it from them." I tell her. "Until then, I'll be a little busy with my adventurer work and setting something up with the current owners. Just wait for me, okay?"

"Okay!" She smiles. "Good luck!"

I wave and jump over the slowly approaching slimes, walking toward the exit. I don't usually like roommates, but the mansion is too big for one person anyway, and having her around might not be so bad. What can I say? As someone who used to take care of several younger siblings, I gained a soft spot for children.

The moment I make it out of the basement door, a loud siren sounds across the entire city, making me pause and frown.

"All adventurers in Axel, this is an emergency!" Luna announces. "Please arm yourselves and make your way to the northern gates immediately!"

What? An emergency? Is the city under attack?

Not wanting to waste any more time, I rush toward the gates, using my wind magic to carry me there as fast as possible.

Moving through the nervous crowd of adventurers standing right in front of the gate, I quickly make it to the front, where Kazuma and his party are, staring at a strong-looking demon/undead atop a hill. As one of the books I read mentioned, it was a Dullahan on a dark horse, holding his detached head in his left arm while gripping a large greatsword with his right hand.

That's Verdia? What's one of the Demon King's generals doing here? Is he planning to destroy the beginner town? Because if so, then that's smart. Preventing the production of talented adventurers will eventually come back to cripple the kingdom's army through several factors. The kingdom needs adventurers to function properly.

Though, he's… not as strong as I thought he was. Granted, he's most definitely more powerful than the One-Punch Bear and the Minotaur we dealt with, but for a general, he seems a little too weak. I'm not underestimating him here; I'm just making an observation from what I can pick up on. He could have an annoying gimmick like the slimes being unreasonably difficult to kill.

Every other adventurer here looks anxious and confused, though, even if they're determined to defend their city no matter what. That's admirable, at least. Even though I've never seen any of them take on quests, just seeming to stay in the guild drinking from dawn till dusk, they're still willing to protect Axel.

I glance at Kazuma, who looks like he's about to cry.

Well, most of them.

"Adventurers…" The dullahan starts. "I am Verdia of the Demon King's army, who recently moved into the nearby abandoned castle."

I don't understand why telling us that bit of information is important to why he's here, but villains like monologuing, I guess. And I've been told that interrupting it is rude, as stupid as that may sound.

Verdia starts to shake in what I think is anger, his voice cracking before he goes on a tirade I certainly didn't expect.

"…The same castle that one of you little idiots has been blowing up with explosion spells every. Single. DAY!" He screams. "Which one of you is it, huh?! Who is the mad imbecile that I have to kill to stop them from attacking my damned castle?!"

It takes me — as well as everyone here — a moment to process what he just said. Someone has been firing explosion spells at his castle? Why? Did they know that he was here, and they were trying to kill him from a distance or flush him out?

Now, I could be wrong here, but the only person that comes to mind when talking about explosion magic of the magnitude he's implying is Megumin. It might just be a baseless accusation, but, well…

I glance at her with a bemused look, noticing her incredibly nervous posture as she tries her hardest not to look at the dullahan. Something tells me she's responsible. I'm not sure why she'd do such a thing. She clearly didn't know that Verdia lived there if her fearful look was an indication.

…Didn't she say something about her dying if she doesn't use explosions at least once a day? If that's what happened, then I'm not sure what's supposed to be done with her. Kazuma has to control the midget before she does something we'll all regret.

But then he said "every day" meaning it didn't just happen once. If so, why did he wait for it to happen twice or three times? Is he an idiot? He should've left the castle and looked for the culprit the moment the first explosion hit.

So, really, he's almost as much to blame for this as her. If my house suddenly got hit with a magic nuke, the first thing I'd do is leave immediately. Why would you test your luck and stay there? He really is an idiot.

"Day in, day out— I can't take it anymore!" He points at a random mage. "Was it you?! Or you?! Who was it?!"

"So wait, you're not here to invade Axel?" I step forward with my question. "You're here just to complain?"

"Why would I waste my time with the beginner town?!" He answers with his own question. "I just want the explosions to stop! I didn't even do anything to you people! Why are you harassing me?!"

This world is filled with morons.

I look at Megumin as she works up enough courage to walk forward. Is she actually taking responsibility?

"So it was you?" He glares at Megumin hatefully.

The arch wizard hesitates for a moment before putting on a mask of confidence, doing a silly pose before proclaiming her name and status.

"I am the Arch Wizard, Megumin of the Crimson Demon Clan!" She says. "The strongest wizard in this city!"

There is a brief but loud moment of silence before Verdia responds.

"What kind of name is Megumin? Are you mocking me?"

"I'm not!"

As this rapidly becomes one of the most painful things I've ever had to watch, I stop her from digging her grave, not wanting her to stick her neck out like that. Sure, it's kind of her fault, but she's just a kid. I shouldn't expect someone of her age to take responsibility for something this serious.

I doubt she even knew Verdia was there. She doesn't deserve it.

"She did it under my commands." I lie.

"Huh?" Megumin blinks. "No, that's not true! Don't you steal my credit—"

I cover her mouth with my hand, looking straight at the dullahan, who glowers in anger at my unfazed expression.

"You? But why?! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Are you stupid? You're an enemy." I point out. "Why wouldn't I try to kill you?"

"Y-you could've come to my castle and fought through fair and square!" He argues. "Don't you have any honor?!"

"I do, but you don't deserve to be shown any of it," I respond bluntly. "Like I said, you're an enemy. If you want honor, you will try to bother a town at your level, not Axel."

"You're the one that's bothering ME!"

"Well, maybe you should've left the castle after the first explosion. Ever thought about that?" I scoff. "Idiot. It's like you want to be blown up."

Verdia doesn't argue, knowing whatever he says will make him look worse.

"R-regardless, I didn't come here to mess with you weaklings." He claims. "So I'll be nice and give you this one warning. Stop firing your explosion spells, and I won't crush you."

…What? How does that make sense? Is he scared? I mean, I won't complain. If he's really leaving just like that, then that gives us time to prepare and efficiently take him out when he least expects it. Never interrupt your enemy when they're making a mistake.

"That's not happening." Megumin suddenly says.

"Huh?" I blink.

"What? Why?"

"Crimson Demons die if they don't cast their explosions every day."

This again?!

"Wh– I've never heard of anything like that! Are you making that up?" Verdia says in surprise. "Are you saying you're gonna keep blowing up my castle?"

"Yes."

"No." I strongly disagree with her, putting a hand on her mouth. "She said she'll stop."

"I'm not deaf. She literally just said yes."

"Clearly you scared her too much; she has become delirious." I make something up. "Don't mind her. She's like eleven and just got her hand on a staff. Never even been on the battlefield before."

Like he's going to believe that.

I will spank this idiot girl once we're done with this.

"Hmm…" Verdia looks at her suspiciously. "Fine. That makes sense, I suppose."

How did he fall for it?!

"But if I'm ever hit with one more explosion spell, I'll come with my army and grind your city into dust." He threatens. "Farewell."

With that, the idiot general leaves, and once he's out of sight, I let go of Megumin and glare at her.

"You're lucky this didn't escalate," I tell her. "Just what were you thinking, trying to pick a fight with him?"

"And what's with you taking my credit?!" She points her staff at me. "How rude! I cast those explosion spells myself! Also, I'm fourteen, not eleven!"

"Taking your credit?! I was trying to save you!" I argue. "You could've gotten yourself killed."

"Hah! The Great Arch Wizard Megumin isn't so easily defeated!" She boasts a hand over her eye in one of her chuuni poses. "I would've blown him up into smithereens!"

"With an explosion you couldn't cast?"

Megumin flinches.

"E-eh?"

"You already used your explosion, didn't you?" I accuse. "I saw Kazuma carrying you to the guild earlier today."

"Ah…" She fidgets. "U-um…"

At her meek response, I can't help but sigh deeply. I don't even know why I'm helping her. Maybe I should've let her escalate the situation and suffer the consequences. That oughta teach her an important lesson.

"Just… avoid the castle for now," I tell her. "At least until Verdia is dealt with, alright?"

Megumin doesn't say anything, so I just walk past her and address Kazuma.

"Please make sure she doesn't get in trouble."

"I'll try…"

It's not the answer I'm hoping for, but there's not much I can do right now. I'll have to prepare a raid on Verdia's castle. The sooner he's gone, the better. Plus, the reward might help cover the mansion's costs. Surely, defeating a demon king general would give a lot of money.

As the rest of the adventurers begin to disperse, returning to the guild or the missions they were on, I give Kazuma's group — especially Megumin — one last glance before I leave to finish my other quests for the day.

…I have a very, very bad feeling about this.