Badu

I’m not sure how many of you follow me on social media but if you don’t or haven’t seen, I lost the light of my life August 8th.

For the last almost 12 years Badu was my rock.

My best friend, my protector, my reason to get up in the morning & my reason to keep a roof over our heads and most importantly my baby.

Words will never do her or my love for her justice so I’ll keep this brief.

This was the hardest video I ever had to make.

I shot this a day before I had to say my final goodbye. I was mostly numb that day and I’d been trying to film a longer version of this for months, no years.

Ever since her first tumor I wanted to make a video from overhead where we are simply snuggling. I wanted to capture all the different ways we sleep next to each other so I could watch it once she was gone. But every time I thought about creating that my heart hurt too much at the thought of her ever not being here so I could just never get myself to make that.

So it never got done.

I will forever be furious with myself that I never made that. That all I have is this short video from the day before.

Let this be your reminder to do the thing you’ve been meaning to do. Kiss the person you’ve been wanting to kiss. Call that relative you’ve been meaning to call and tell them you love them. Snuggle your fur baby extra tight. Tell the people you love how much they mean to you, how proud you are of them. Do the thing. Don’t be like me. Don’t sink into a dark abyss because you let time get away and could never do the thing.

I’m always doing a million things for other people (yes I’m working on getting better at that) and I rarely do things for myself and this one stings so deeply. I should have done that for myself.

A lot of you have come to love Badu over the many years of me being on the internet & if you have any photos of videos of her saved I would be so very grateful if you could email those to me as I have lost many years of photos and videos of her from that one time my apartment got broken in to & my laptop, hard drives & old phones got stolen with years worth of photos on them.

Thank you for being a Patreon and supporting me all these years, it has truly been the main thing providing a stable living place for Badu and I and you all had a direct positive impact on us. I will forever be grateful for that.

Thank you with all my heart.

So here’s one last time, with my baby girl, always by my side.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/d7sn4kj5xzadrfp/Video%20Aug%2031%2C%207%2044%2020%20PM.mov?dl=0