I Never Was A Girl - Part 2

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I woke the next morning feeling incredibly relaxed. Tia was snuggled against me, smiling, and felt so warm and soft... She helped me get dressed in some of my new clothes and borrowed some for herself. When she wheeled me out the door, Mom, Dad, and Anne were waiting at the table for us. I guess there was no mistaking the satisfied look on our faces.

"I'm jealous. Mom and Dad won't even let me stay out past midnight." Anne was giggling.

"Did you two...?" Mom looked worried.

"Don't worry, Samantha isn't going to get pregnant. And no, we didn't. At least not what you are thinking, did we?" She bent down to give me a kiss, so I pulled her onto my lap and returned the favor.

"Samuel, we have a rule in this house about sleepovers." Dad looked peeved.

"Hey, you let me have girlfriends stay over, why not Samantha?" Dad gave Anne a strange look and clamped his jaw shut.

"Well, breakfast is getting cold." Mom had the right idea. And I was hungry after all that exercise. When we were finished, Mom asked us what our plans were for the day.

"We're going to meet the rest of the gang at the park and go swimming, and there's supposed to be a free concert later at the town square, so..."

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Anne and Tia jumped, and I spilled some of my milk. "Who said you were going out dressed like that!" Dad was turning a bit purple. Before I could say anything, Tia was in his face.

"Samantha's spent too much time cooped up like a prisoner this summer. Everyone is expecting her. And if anyone makes fun of her, there are a whole bunch of us that will make their lives really unpleasant. Besides, it looks like a perfect day to show off her new swimsuit." All Dad could manage to do was sputter.

"NO daughter of mine is going to show off a new suit until I have given it my approval." Mom made her point really clear. Then looked terribly embarrassed. So she and Dad argued while Tia took me back to my room and helped me change into the suit. It was a full coverage competition type, with an added skirt that concealed the extra bulges in the crotch. Tia had her purchases with her, so she put on the radical thong and string outfit that had caused me much discomfort in the store.

Anne said she was jealous of Tia's suit. Mom told Anne that if she tried one that skimpy, she would be locked in her room, and everyone, even Dad, agreed that my suit was conservative. When he pointed out that I would have tan lines, I shrugged. "So will all the other girls." He looked ill.

"Don't I have some say in all this?" Dad finally whined at us. "I mean, he's my...child, and..."

"So give her a hug and your support, and us a lift to the park." Tia didn't bat an eyelid. If she had, I was afraid some of her suits might fall off.

Dad didn't say a word the entire trip. We wore our suits under our clothes, and I carried my crutches. He stayed and watched as Tia wheeled me down to where everyone was gathered. It was a long time before he drove away.

After being looked over by everyone, I wound up watching and drooling as Tia and the others played several games of swimsuit volleyball. And hers was not the most daring suit. Owww... I was surprised when Jeremiah and Chuck, who I knew was not in the slightest gay, having tried to get my sister into bed several times, came over and sat by me. I wondered if I was safe, but we were in public...

"Sam, you're sure you're not at least a little bit bi?" I shook my head at Jeremiah. "Darn, you'd make a great date. So how did your parents react?" They both listened as I gave a blow-by-blow account, making sure not to leave out Tia's spending the night.

"God, I wish my parents had been that understanding when I came out to them." I stared at Jeremiah. "I got tossed out on my ear, and it took three weeks before Dad would even talk to me on the telephone." I didn't know he had been thrown out of his house. "It took six months of counseling for all of us before he accepted that it wasn't something he or mom did and that I wasn't some sort of pervert." He looked sad.

"Dad's still not okay with what I am, but we've learned to communicate with each other. Mom's better with it, but she still thinks it's something that can be cured." I gave him a hug, which surprised both of us.

Chuck looked me over again. "Jeremiah asked me to meet you after I made some comments that you must be one sick puppy to be dressing like a girl and liking it. But if I didn't know you, I'd never guess, and when he explained about the boots and you are being able to walk, well, I guess I owe you an apology." I eyed him warily. "Not all jocks are assholes. Just the fact that you are fighting so hard to get better makes you a better person than a lot of the guys on the team. Most of them would have just given up. Or been too afraid to be different."

He patted Jeremiah on the back. "Like when we pounded on Jeremiah because he was gay, and instead of calling the cops, he came back to the team and proved that gay didn't mean anything about sportsmanship. So some of us are not as bad as we seem."

He stared hungrily at me again. "Damn, you look a lot like Anne."

"She IS my sister."

"Oh, yeah..." He looked like he liked the taste of his own toenails. "Hey, looks like everyone's getting ready to go swimming."

I turned to Jeremiah. "Care to help a girl get out of her clothes?" Both he and Chuck sputtered and turned several interesting shades of pink.

The two of them basket-carried me down to the pool. And one of them gently pinched my butt. What worried me is I couldn't tell which one. But the water was really warm, and I liked the feel of the suit, so I had better things to do.

It was early afternoon when everyone decided they were either waterlogged or done medium-well. So most of them headed for the showers to change, and Jeremiah used the wash-down hose to rinse me off before he carried me back to where I had left my chair and clothes. I tensed when he held me against him, and he chuckled. "Still don't understand that being gay doesn't make me a psycho rapist? I turned red and managed to relax. And after all, it didn't feel that bad to be held by him.

I think I air-dried faster than the others could towel off. So I was ready for Tia to put my boots back on when she came out of the dressing rooms.

We caught a ride with one of the older kids, and the whole group wound up at the Peanut Gallery. Since I couldn't stand up long enough to play the pinball games, I opted to munch caramel corn and fed some to Tia, who seemed happy to sit on my lap and snuggle. When some older kids we didn't know made a couple of nasty comments about lesbians, I got scared. They got the bums' rush from Chuck and Jeremiah, who were making comments about playing miniature golf with their balls.

Everyone was full of popcorn and hot dogs and empty on quarters when Erica said it was time for the concert. So it was back on the road again, this time to the town square. The band, which turned out to be from the city, was still setting up. When the music started, it got crazy. I think every teenager in the area that liked to dance was there. I felt bad that I couldn't dance with Tia, but she seemed content to stay with me. There was also half the local police department present, which meant that there was very little drinking and few other problems.

The only attention I attracted was that I was a person in a wheelchair, which made me different. By the time the concert was over at ten, I was thoroughly tired of sympathy. Real or plastic. Anne was there with Dad's car, so she gave us a ride back to the house. She had danced herself into a frazzle and was too tired to drive and talk, so the only information we got was that Mom and Dad were certain I had lost my marbles. They had thought that several times before, so I figured they'd get over it.

Tia spent the night with me, this time much more quietly. We were too bushed to do more than snuggle. Mom woke us way too early and made comments about protection when she realized how entwined we were under the covers. "Sam, your father and I agree that you need some help." I cringed. "So we have scheduled an appointment for you with a psychologist for this morning. She wants to meet Tia too, so I will drive both of you to the appointment. We need to leave in a little over an hour, so you both need to get showered and dressed."

Tia and I looked at each other after she left. "Care to have someone wash your back?" We almost ran out of hot water. Mom gave us a "your mother knows what you were doing in there" look when Tia rolled me into the kitchen for breakfast. So we smiled at her. "Guilty as charged." Mom turned red and muttered something about gray hairs.

At our destination, Mom helped Tia set up my wheelchair, and I was almost able to get out of the car myself. So I was wheeled inside an office building, and we took the elevator to an upper floor. The sign on the door read.

"Nagle and Associates

Dr. Cynthia Nagle, MD, Ph.D."

"Mom, do I have to?"

"It's that or your father is going to wind up in a locked ward. With me following him." We got the hint.

The receptionist asked who we were there to see. "We have a ten o'clock appointment with Dr. Nagle."

The receptionist looked at her calendar. "Are you meeting your son here? The appointment is for your son and his girlfriend."

Mom looked a bit green. "One of them." She motioned to us, "is my son." The receptionist gave mom a raised eyebrows look.

"Oh, sorry. Cynthia didn't say anything about your son being transgendered." She looked us over carefully. "Wow. Which one of them is your son?" I didn't know if it was a compliment to me or an insult to Tia.

Mom walked over and patted me on the head. "This one." She shook her head. "Or he was until a few days ago." The receptionist giggled and handed Mom a clipboard and a sheaf of papers to fill out.

Mom was still filling out the paperwork when the receptionist told us that Dr. Nagle was ready to meet us. So she escorted the three of us into a large office, where we met Dr. Nagle for the first time. She was quite a bit older than Mom, with long gray hair and a winning smile. "Please, everyone, have a seat." She chuckled. "Well, unless you brought yours with you." I grimaced at the joke.

"From what you and your husband said on the telephone, all of a sudden, your son's girlfriend has turned him into your second daughter. And instead of objecting, he seems to be enjoying being a girl. Your husband thinks he has lost his marbles, and you think he's snapped from the stress of his accident." Mom nodded.

"So it's safe to assume that Samuel is the girl in the wheelchair, and his girlfriend is the one standing next to him." We all nodded. "Well, Samuel, how do you prefer to be addressed? Your mother says you call yourself Samantha..."

"I don't call myself anything. Tia's got everyone else calling me Samantha, but most of them stick with Sam. Which is what everyone has always called me." She wrote something down.

"Do you object to being called Samantha?"

I shrugged. "It's sort of weird, but dressed like this, it makes sense. I really don't care as long as people treat me the same."

"The same?"

"The same as before my accident." She looked thoughtful.

"I think I need to talk to your mother for a couple of minutes. So if you two will wait outside, I'll call for you when I'm ready." Tia wheeled me out of the office.

"Sam, what does transgendered mean?" I looked up at her.

"Haven't the foggiest, but the doctor didn't seem at all concerned about how I'm dressed." The receptionist was obviously listening.

"It takes a lot to shock Dr. Nagel." Her voice was light and friendly. "And you are not the first boy to come in wearing a skirt, accompanied by a parent who thought their child had lost his mind."

Tia and I looked at each other. "So relax. I have some candy here, and there is a soda machine in the lobby." Tia got some change from my purse and disappeared out the door.

She and I were busy doing a crossword puzzle when Mom, looking totally disconcerted , came out of Dr. Nagle's office, and Dr. Nagel invited both Tia and me inside.

After half a zillion questions to both of us, Dr. Nagel sent Tia out to wait with Mom and commenced dissecting me. It was nearly one when she wheeled my remains out of her office. Mom and Tia looked worried, but I was sort of smiling. She motioned to Mom to come in, and Tia gave me a long and soft hug.

"Sam, what did she say?..." I gave Tia a kiss.

"Other than that, Mom and Dad are going to need a lot of counseling?" I stretched. "She says there's nothing seriously wrong with me, but I need to learn about myself and how I fit in with the world."

"But I thought she was saying that you suffered from some sort of disorder that caused a lot of kids to hurt themselves..."

"The kids that hurt themselves are not okay with who they are or their needs. She says I'm fine with myself and that my problems are going to be getting others, including my parents, to accept me." I paused to think. "She said that there are a very, very few people like myself that don't really think of themselves in terms of male and female. Which I guess drives most people up a wall, 'cause they can't understand it. People like Mom and Dad."

"You don't look happy."

"She warned me that many parents never accept children like me, and unless they do, I'm going to have a tough time for the next few years. She also said that your being a closet lesbian is part of why you and I have gotten along so well." Tia gave me an inquisitive look. "You weren't looking for a macho-type boyfriend. You were looking for someone like yourself who was gentler and more interested in being friends than rubbing hormones together." That got me a lap full of warm and snuggly girlfriend.

We stayed together for quite a while until my legs started to go to sleep. Tia decided to have me do my stretching exercises while we waited, so I was sitting on the floor while she pried on my feet when Mom and the Doctor came out. I answered the Doctor's inquisitive look.

"Physical therapy. I have to do it every day, and well, we got bored." Tia grabbed my boots and started to lace them on.

As we left, my mom told us, "Doctor Nagel says that you don't really need a lot of help except in learning to live with yourself." She looked tired. "And she wants to see your father and me this afternoon. We also have to stop at a pharmacy to get some prescriptions filled, and I need to take something for a headache." She thanked the doctor, and as soon as I was ready, wheeled me out into the hall.

"Mom, are you going to be okay?" She looked at me, and shook her head, then nodded.

"She says you're both my son and my daughter and that what you need is your father's and my support. And that Tia is not responsible for your acting like this, even though she got you started." We got on the elevator. "What scares me is that she said that you should go to school as Samantha and that we are going to have to get a lawyer and a bunch of paperwork together to keep you from getting tossed out the first day."

"No one is going to bother Sam. Heck, like half the kids already know she's going to school as a girl. And anyone that bothers her is going to find themselves as lunch-meat."

"She says the kids won't be the problem. It will be the parents and teachers." The elevator opened, and we headed for the car.

"So, is there somewhere you two want to go?" The weather looked good.

"The park?" Mom stopped at a pharmacy on the way and turned a bit red when she returned and handed each of us a small bag. "Doctor's orders." She drove off before we could look inside. So we waited until we were dropped off.

Tia looked first, blushed scarlet, then got a wicked grin. I tried to match her colors when I checked my package. Inside each bag was a handbook on safe sex and a box of condoms. Tia pulled out a handwritten note. Mine had the same note. "Please don't need these. But the Doctor said that if you two are going to do something, at least you need to understand what can happen and be prepared." It made for a really good laugh.

"Um, how about tonight..." Tia was licking my ear.

"I can wait till I'm a lot older and ready for that type of commitment. Can you?" She hugged me. "A girl can ask, can't she? I love you." She was smiling. "Besides, lesbians like us have better ways, right?"

We got a lot of disapproving looks from adults as we played tongue-tag in the parking area until one of our friends saw us and told us we were missing all the fun. I wondered what could be more fun than this.

We should have brought swimsuits. But someone loaned us a blanket, so we were stretched out in the sun, appropriately smeared with sun-block, while we watched the others try and drown themselves. They woke us up when they were ready to head home. So we hitched a ride with someone and found Anne at home, preparing dinner.

"Mom and Dad are at an appointment and won't be home till six-something. Tia's step-mom called and said she wants to confirm she's still alive and well. And I need some help with the spaghetti. Tia made a telephone call while I tracked down a colander.

Tia looked worried. "My stepmom wants me to spend tonight at home. Something about my being a missing person. And she said she's talked to one of your parents, so I hope they're not going to ground me or something like that." I gave her a hug. "I'd better get into some of my own stuff and hit the road."

We managed a couple more snuggles before she left. Anne looked at me. "Mom was really weirded out and kept talking to herself. But she said I'd better plan on having a younger sister for a while." She stirred the sauce. "So, how did your appointment go?"

We discussed what had happened while I set the table. "She bought you WHAT?" Anne was giggling. "She'd better not complain now if I bring a boyfriend home for the night." She suddenly got a really strange expression. "I think I'm going to put a box of those for me on the shopping list." I dropped a spoon.

"You wouldn't do that too..." She was nodding. She hugged me as we both snickered. It was nice to have a sister I could count on. She headed for the shopping list with a pen.

Mom and Dad arrived just before seven, and Dad headed upstairs without saying a word. Mom looked really beat but managed to give each of us a hug before she sat down and asked for some water and two aspirin. "Your father thinks the psychiatrist is as goofy as you." I rolled over and held her. "And he wants you to have a complete physical as soon as possible, to see if something is physically wrong with you." She downed the aspirin that Anne brought her.

"He won't agree to us getting a lawyer until he is satisfied that you are not some sort of psychopath." Anne and I groaned. "But he has agreed to leave you alone and not to interfere between you and Tia until all the medical reports are finished." I hugged mom again.

"So please, don't rub his face in this. He really loves you, but the whole thing is so foreign to us, and it hurts him..." She started to cry, and Anne and I held her until she was ready to continue. "So I'm going to make you an appointment for a physical as soon as possible and with another psychiatrist for a second opinion." She and Anne quietly ate their dinners, and I nibbled at mine.

It felt strange and lonely to go to bed without Tia. I finally fell asleep later, thinking about school and what could happen if Dad didn't accept me the way I was.

Tuesday, Mom woke me, saying I had a call from Tia. "Sam, Mom talked to your father, who said all kinds of weird stuff. Are you okay?" I gave her a quick rundown on what Mom had told me. "Shit, that explains a lot. Mom is afraid that you will get violent or something and doesn't want me spending time alone with you until she knows more."

"Could your mom talk to mine? Maybe that would help?" She said she'd check, and I called for Mom. Ten minutes later, it was agreed that I was not a danger to anyone, and all four parents were going to meet on Wednesday to discuss Tia and me and what our relationship meant.

"Mom, what about Tia and I spending..." That caused another discussion. When Mom handed me the telephone, she said Mrs. Allen wanted to talk to me. I managed to swallow my panic and took the phone.

When I hung up, I managed to shout "YES." Mom gave me a funny look. "She was worried about Tia getting in trouble, and I told her that we were not going to do anything that could get either of us pregnant. That got her confused, and then Tia explained I was really a lesbian, which apparently she understood because she said Tia could stay with me, or I can stay with Tia till this gets straightened out." I paused to catch my breath. "And she threatened that if Tia gets pregnant, she will take a dull knife and turn me into a real girl." Mom looked shocked for a moment, then smiled.

"Well, that would solve a lot of problems..."

"MOM!" she gave me a hug. A long one.

Mom had to head off to work, so Anne helped me get dressed, and I took a taxi over to Tia's. Her mom gave both of us the third degree and then hugged us both, saying that I was going to need a lot of hugs over the next few weeks. Tia rolled me into their living room, and we curled up under a blanket on the couch to snuggle.

By late afternoon the weather, which had been great most of the summer, turned icky. There was a severe storm warning for the whole state, and from the looks of the clouds, they weren't kidding. Tia's mom suggested that we relocate to their basement in case the weather got worse. I sort of slid down the staircase with Tia's help. I was surprised when Tia brought piles of blankets and several pillows downstairs also and set up a nest in a corner.

"Won't your mother object to..." She was smiling.

"Mom was the one that suggested it. She's not as much of a prude as she sounds. Besides, it's really nasty outside, so she's planning on your staying the night." Tia went and got her portable radio and a flashlight "just in case" and found us a couple of books. We spent the afternoon camped out reading, enjoying the sounds of the storm outside and the security we felt being together.

Tia's mom served dinner to Tia and her stepbrother Rick and Mr. Allen in the basement. Rick gave me the once-over and said everyone was talking about how cute I was. That made me want to hide, and Tia claim both responsibility and ownership. I was surprised when Mr. Allen didn't seem upset. It was halfway through the meal when the lights went out.

Tia turned on her flashlight, and her dad told her to turn on the radio. Five minutes later, her Mom had set up a bunch of candles, and we were finishing dinner to storm reports and static. It was after Tia and Rick had cleared the dishes and taken everything upstairs that they announced a tornado warning for our county. So out went the candles, and we all got into a room her dad said was almost a bomb shelter and listed to the wind. Tia was really scared and clung to me. But there were no crashing sounds, and about an hour later, the radio gave our area an "all-clear."

There was still no electricity, but the rest of her family headed upstairs, telling us to behave ourselves and get a good night's sleep. So with Tia's help, I joined her in and under the pile of blankets. She was still wired from the storm, so we stuck to cuddling each other. She fell asleep before I did.

I had to get her help and her flashlight to make a midnight bathroom crawl. I was glad they had one in the basement.

The next morning we woke up to Rick tugging at the blankets. "Hey, it's almost breakfast." He was snickering as we tried to disentangle and return to the present at the same time.

Tia muttered something about her dad being an early riser. She went and got us some clean clothes, and once we were dressed, had Rick carry me up the stairs. His mom and dad were sitting at the dining table, and there was a mountain of pancakes and sausages waiting for us.

It turned out that the power outage was from a tree hitting a substation, and half the town still didn't have any electricity. Mrs. Allen had called my parents in the morning to make sure they were okay and confirm I was fine. Since both Dad's and Mr. Allen's businesses were without power and would be until the evening, they were planning their get-together for later in the morning.

"Rick says that the roads are littered with trash and branches, so we want you two to stay put until the city has finished clearing the roads." We looked at Mrs. Allen and nodded. "Rick can give you a lift to meet your friends later. Leave a note saying where you are going." She and her husband got up and headed out.

"You know that you are going to get hassled by the god squad at school." Rick was looking at me and shaking his head. The god squad was the religious holier-than-thou group that made most everyone else sick.

"And probably all the brainless bozos and bigots and whatever. But it's better than being stuck in this damn wheelchair." He nodded. "You know there was another kid sort of like you in the school." Tia and I stared at him in shock, shaking our heads.

"She graduated last year. Most of the kids have forgotten about her or just got tired of all the fuss. Maybe you've met her. Her name is Carla. Carla Weimer." I had never heard her name, but Tia sure had.

"Bob Weimer's older sister Carla?!" Her brother nodded.

"Oh my god, that's so weird..." We both seemed surprised at her reaction. "I mean like I've known Bob since fifth grade, and I've met Carla several times, and I never..." Suddenly she blushed. "But Carla is always going out on dates with boys..." Rick smiled. "Oh, My God..."

"I'm happy chasing girls. Especially you." I gave her a hug, and she snuggled close. Rick made disgusted noises and said he was going to rake the lawn. When he hinted that I was preventing Tia from helping with the chores, I wound up on their porch, watching them work. By noon they were finished, and I was getting tired of sitting.

An hour later, Rick dropped us off at the park, where everyone seemed to be having a community cleanup. Tia tied a small garden cart to the back of my wheelchair, and I wound up playing garbage collector for the afternoon. It was easy to pull, so I was only totally pooped when everyone declared the place, and themselves, finished.

The pool was still closed, as the park people were still fishing leaves and bugs out by the basket-full. I guess it was too close to the end of the month, but everyone decided they were too broke to go out for food, and we wound up hitching a ride back to Tia's with Erica's mom. Mom's car was in the driveway, and I almost screamed, but Tia managed to get me into my chair, saying that we'd have to face them eventually. But I was really shaking when she wheeled me inside.

I was expecting a firing squad. But no one seemed angry, just upset. "Have fun at the park?" Tia described my trash-hauling service, and everyone, even Dad, seemed amused.

"Sam, the four of us have been discussing you and Tia and this weird choice of yours to switch to living as a girl." Dad was the first to begin. So far, I have been told by everyone I have complained to that I should be happy you are healthy and happy and don't do drugs or get in trouble with the law." He hugged Mom. "And they said I don't have to like or approve of what you are doing. Which I don't. I think it is warped and it goes against almost everything I feel is supposed to make a boy a boy except that you at least like girls.

It is going to take a long time for me to be able to just ignore you are becoming a girl if I can ever reach that point. But I'm going to try to remember that it's you who is my child, and I hope still my son, inside. So if I yell at you or berate what you have become, remember that it's because I love you that what you are doing hurts me, deep inside." I rolled over to him and tried to hug him. At first, he pulled back, then he grabbed me, and his tears started to flow.

"I don't want to hurt you, please..." I added my tears to his shoulder.

When we finally separated, Mom came over and held me. "We know you are not doing this," she waived at my clothes, "to hurt us. But you need to understand that we don't really understand this very well, and we have our fears to face too." She seemed a lot calmer than yesterday and blotted my tears. I was surprised when she rolled me over to Tia.

She pulled me out of the chair and onto the couch beside her and held me close.

"We love Tia very much. So we were really concerned when your father called us and told us what he thought was happening." Mrs. Allen put an arm around her daughter. "But after talking with your mother, I realized that we really didn't know enough to make any decision, and Tia made it abundantly clear that she was not going to stop being your friend. That's why we decided to let the two of you be together under our watchful eyes. And found that Samantha was the same Sam that has been her friend for years. A bit more intimate friend perhaps, but if we simply blocked out the clothes and wheelchair, nothing changed."

"And that really surprised us." Her dad took over. "So when we all got together today, I made some calls, and we had a long lunch with a psychologist friend of mine, who was also stuck without power." All the adults nodded. "He confirmed what you had said, that you were the same person. And read us the riot act for letting our own fears, rather than our love for our children, do our thinking for us."

"So whenever we say something that hurts, please, take the time to find out if it's coming from our fears before you decide we hate you."

Tia and I cried all over our parents. Finally, they managed to get us some tissues and suggest that it was getting late.

"Um, Mom, what about, I mean..." Tia was blushing.

"Oh, you mean can you and Sam, or Samantha, keep spending the nights together?" I tried to slide closer to Tia, but Mom had her arm around me. "Well, since the doctor prescribed certain items for you two," Tia looked really embarrassed, and my Dad chuckled, "and you claim to be lesbians" Her dad snickered, "I don't see why not."

Tia managed to get free and hug me. "But Tia is going to be seeing her gynecologist next week because we have no intentions on having grandchildren yet."

"MOM! We're not doing anything that..."

"Accidents happen. And I don't want one to require babysitting. I'm too young for that." Tia tried to disappear into the couch. My mom was giggling.

Tia and I headed back to our house with Mom and Dad after Tia collected some clean clothes. We went to bed early and were so stressed that it took us several hours just holding each other to finally get to sleep.

Friday, I had a follow-up appointment with Dr. Sutton and the podiatrist. To say they were shocked is an understatement. After examining my feet and deciding that the way I was dressed was none of their business, they said I was permitted to do all the walking my feet could tolerate. And changed the physical therapy routine. They also sent us down to the physical therapy clinic for an intense lesson on the proper use of the crutches. So I left the hospital under my own power, with Tia pushing the now-empty wheelchair.

I wasn't going to be able to avoid the damn thing, but I was not glued to it anymore.

I spent the weekend at Tia's, and on Monday, we began the strange process of getting registered for high school. Once the battle over which school I would attend was won, by a combination of the Doctor's notes and by demonstrating that I could, if needed, get out of the wheelchair and move on my own, the gender battle began. Dr. Nagle was right. The problems were mostly bureaucratic. I thought about all the problems and came up with an idea.

Mom was amazed when I told her I needed to go clothes shopping again. "You've got enough for three girls!"

"I'm going to register as Samuel and then let them fight about how I'm dressed." Dad, instead of getting upset, said he liked the idea and took Tia and me to Stallones.

Tia spent a lot of time with an eyeliner and a brush, but I looked almost like the old Samuel when she finished. The designer bell-bottoms were long enough to cover the boots, but I looked a little funny with legs that belonged to a basketball player. So Dad accompanied us to the school, and registration went without a hitch. Well, almost. Andy ran into us and started making nasty comments. Did you know that six-plus-inch heels make great weapons? I stomped on his tennis shoe. Then loudly complained that he wouldn't move out of the way as he hopped around, howling, on one foot.

Dad managed to keep from laughing till we were outside. Tia and I had decided to take the same classes and used the excuse that she was my helper since I was stuck in a wheelchair or on crutches. It worked. Dad seemed really happy when I wore the guy's stuff.

Wednesday, I got a complete physical of my life. Yeech. I preferred catheters and maybe even bedpans.

On Thursday, Tia and I went shopping alone. Or we were alone till we hit the mall. And I got a small number of teenage boys clothes. I looked really funny with big hair and makeup, but it felt good to be wearing jeans again. And the "loose fit" style would slide over the boots.

Saturday was the summer blowout at the park. Tia and I dressed alike, and got a lot of complements. And we both got hit on by the guys that hadn't heard about me. I chalked up having the manners of a monkey as a good reason to not act like a boy. And I managed to stand and join in the communal hugs our group had to commemorate the end of our vacation. I got a few scared looks from some of the guys when they realized I was me. But I felt good about myself, and just smiled at them.