I Love My Girlfriend But? - Part 7

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A week passed and Jake and Alex continued to sleep in each other's rooms at night. Except for when they were on the tour bus of course because that's how they would travel for the next concerts.

Right now, Jake was on the phone with Sierra, and Alex was more than annoyed with the couple. If he would've taken a shot for every time they had said that they missed or loved each other, he would've already been in the hospital due to alcohol poisoning.

Being the polite friend he was though, he kept a straight face. During the whole thing, he pretended to not be bothered by their absolute perfect relationship.

'Bye baby, I love you so so much, Jake said, and then finally, he hung up. Who would've thought they'd ever stop?

'God, never thought I'd miss her that much after only four concerts', Jake said with a sigh, putting his phone on the table. The drummer internally rolled his eyes but smiled at Jake.

'You'll be fine. You just love her and it's normal that you miss her that quick.' When Alex finished his sentence, he wanted to slap himself. Why did he say that, when he knew that the answer would only hurt him?

'Yeah, I do. Thanks, Ash. I don't know what I would do without you', the guitarist said.

And that's how most of their conversations went. Alex even started to think that it was good that they were on the tour bus and couldn't sleep in one room or rather one bed together. It would cause more problems anyway and maybe, just maybe, he could forget what it felt like to hold Jake or wake up next to him.

'Hey.'

'Hey, Alex answered, looking up. He sat on one of the couches that were backstage and now looked at Jake who leaned against the doorframe.

'Uhm I was thinking, we could maybe. I don't know. go out tonight or something?'

'Why not? Do the others know?'

'I thought.. maybe just the two of us, Jake explained with a nervous smile on his lips.

'Oh.. well okay? Where do you wanna go then?' Alex asked and watched the blonde bite his lip.

'I heard of a club nearby.' 'Alright. I trust you. So just get ready and you pick me up. At eight?' 'Uhm yeah.. yes. See you at eight', Jake answered and left.

'Ah, Jake?', Alex asked and stood up, following the blonde, 'wait up. We're in the same van and bus.'

'Right', he answered and blushed. Alex furrowed his eyebrows at Jake's strange behavior. Did Crystal really not let anything slip or was Alex being too obvious? He decided to just shrug it off and see what would happen later. Maybe it had something to do with the plans that Jake had?

And how right Alex was. Turned out that Jake chose a gay club and was acting all weird about it the whole day.

'You know that you don't have to do this, right?'

'What?'

'That whole 'I'm okay with you and go into that club to show me that you don't mind its thing.' Jake now turned even redder as before, making Alex sigh.

'Come on, let's go back', Alex said and wanted to turn around when Jake stopped him.

'No. Partying is partying and I've been to clubs like this, Jake said and pulled Alex a little closer.

'You have? Why?'

'Sierra prefers those clubs', he answered, and once again, Alex wanted to slap himself for asking. Of course, it had to do something with Sierra.

'What if we're seen? You told the bodyguards to stay in the van and we'll get in trouble if there's another article about us, Alex started rambling but was shushed by Jake.

'We'll be fine. Stop overthinking and just move your pretty ass in there.'

'Did you just call my ass pretty?' Alex asked with a huge grin while he was shoved towards the entrance of the club.

'No', Jake quickly denied and hoped that the music was loud enough for his friend to shut up.

'You did it! You said your pretty ass, Alex said as he wiggled his eyebrows at him.

'Sure, whatever. Just go in now.'

'Just admit it', Alex pushed but started pouting when he got an answer. 'I said you are a pretty ass', Jake said, adding, 'hole.' 'You're mean but at least you're right at you to the pretty thing.' 'Leaving the asshole part uncommented?'

'Feel lucky that I do', Alex answered and crossed his arms playfully. He loved joking around with Jake and he knew that the blonde loved it too.

Once they were in the club, Jake just disappeared. Trying to not be too bothered about the blonde leaving him alone that quick, Alex ordered himself a drink, then another one.

While he drowned his loneliness in cocktails, his eyes were darted on one person. The boy was dancing with a few other people and really knew how to move. He was wearing white skinny jeans that had several rips in them and a white, very tight shirt that was covered by a yellow, opened flannel. He was very beautiful, the way he had his obviously dyed red hair styled in a quiff.

'Sorry that I left you alone so quickly. I really had to go to the bathroom', Jake apologized as he sat down next to Alex.

'Nah, it's fine, Alex answered and turned back to where the boy had been dancing. Yeah, had because now he was nowhere to be seen.

'Did I interrupt something..?' Jake questioned, shifting uncomfortably.

'No, no', the drummer quickly said with a smile, 'wearing lip gloss again?' Jake nodded at that and blushed a little. The boy still hadn't got used to being able to wear it without being constantly judged.

'New one?'

'No, the watermelon one', Jake answered and Alex really tried to not let the night in the hallway haunt him again.

'I like it', he just said, remembering that those were his exact words that night.

'So do I', Jake answered and Alex let out a heavy breath, he didn't know he was holding when Jake didn't answer with 'I like it too'.

The night was still young and the boys were now swaying to the music on the dance floor.

A few guys had tried to hit on Jake but he had only answered with 'sorry, I'm taken' which made them leave while glaring at Alex. The drummer liked that everyone thought that Jake was his and didn't bother to correct anyone, especially since Jake didn't seem to care either.

'Hey!', a voice said from behind Alex who now turned around, only to look at the boy from earlier.

'Hey', Alex answered and bit his lip. The boy really was very attractive. 'Is he your boyfriend?', the boy asked Alex and pointed at Jake. 'No, he has a girlfriend', he said with a sigh, pinning his eyes at the floor. 'Aye, I know that face. Let's drink something, yeah?' 'Sure', Alex answered and told Jake where he was going before following the red-haired boy. 'My name is Alex, by the way.' 'Lucas but my friends call me Jake, Lucas answered and smiled brightly at Alex. 'Ha that's funny', Alex said and looked at Jake. 'Please don't tell me his name is Lucas or Jake, Lucas asked but already knew the answer. 'It's Jake actually, Alex now confirmed and Lucas laughed. 'Let's do Lucas then for now, shall we?' 'Yes please,' the drummer said and took a sip of his drink that he had ordered minutes ago.

Another hour into the night and Lucas and Alex got along very well. It might have been the fact that Jake still hadn't checked on him but Alex flirted shamelessly.

'You have very pretty eyes, has anyone ever told you that?'

'Not seductively, like you did', Lucas answered.

'Well, they are. I've never seen so dark brown eyes, he added, making Lucas blush.

'Thank you.'

'You're very welcome.'

The flirting between the two continued and they eventually exchanged numbers before Lucas had to leave. As soon as the seat next to Alex was free, Jake sat down next to him.

'Hey, who was that?'

'Just met him', Alex replied and Jake decided to just leave it at that, which caused the drummer to be a little disappointed. He had hoped that Jake would show some kind of jealousy or at least a little more interest.

Jake wasn't even clingy like he normally was when he'd drank alcohol, which was also something that disappointed Alex. What was the point in getting drunk, when there wasn't anything interesting happening, that you could think of the next morning?

'Let's go home, yeah?', Jake suddenly spoke up, making the other boy furrow his eyebrows.

'Already?'

'Yeah, I'm not in the mood for partying anymore', Jake answered and got up. Alex had trouble catching up with the blonde boy but succeeded in the end. No one said anything and you could clearly see the confusion on Alex's face as he followed Jake into the van. His look of confusion didn't change throughout the car drive or when they got back to the bus but Alex wanted to change that.

'Hey, wait', Alex said as he held Jake back on his wrist. The others were already sleeping in the bus which left Jake and Alex alone outside.

'I'm tired Alex, please', the blonde boy begged, hoping that Alex would let him go. The alcohol had only started to show its effects and cloud his senses.

'No, Jake. Please talk to me. What's wrong?'

'Nothing's wrong, the boy whined, trying to fight against Alex's firm grip.

'Well, something has to be wrong because you won't even look at me. Is it because I talked to that boy? If you're not okay with me liking boys, then please tell me.' Jake now turned around, the guilt clearly visible in his eyes.

'No, oh god no. I'm totally okay with you liking whoever you want, Ash', he said and stepped a little closer to the drummer.

'Then what is it?' 'Do you know that thing when you feel weird?' 'Drunk?', Alex asked, changing from hurt puppy to his giggly self. 'Yeah, that. But like, when you feel the need to do things when you're drunk?' 'What are you trying to tell me, Jake?'

'I love Sierra', Jake stated, taking a deep breath, 'but why can't I be with you?'

'Jake, you're talking absolute none sense', Alex whispered. Why had Jake said stuff like that when he was drunk? He preferred the clingy Jake who didn't talk about having feelings when being drunk.

'I'm not, I swear I'm not. It makes so much sense, Jake said, running his fingers through his messy hair.

'It doesn't', Alex mumbled and stumbled back when Jake came closer. Soon, his back hit the bus but Jake still came closer.

'What are you doing?'

'I don't know Ash', Jake said and did what Alex had feared. He kissed him and Alex responded. Why had this feel so right when it was so wrong? Jake was cheating on Sierra and Alex didn't stop him. Why didn't he stop him?

The kiss turned sloppy and the guitarist's hands wandered under his friend's clothes but Alex didn't stop him.

The sloppy kiss turned into a heated make-out session, moans escaping the boy's lips. When they broke apart and Jake started to kiss down his best friend's neck, Alex knew this had to stop.

'Jake, stop, he said but the boy didn't listen.

'I said stop Jake, Alex repeated himself, raising his voice a little and it worked. Jake brought distance between their faces and looked confused at Alex with his gorgeous blue eyes, which made the drummer melt every so often.

'You have a girlfriend, Jake this is wrong.'

'Why?' As drunk as Alex himself was, he couldn't understand why Jake was always so oblivious to everything, as soon as there was alcohol involved. He couldn't really possibly think that what they were doing was okay.

'Because you are cheating on her and you'll regret it in the morning. Well, at least if someone can remember this..', Alex mumbled, noticing the slur in his words was getting worse.

'I won't regret it Ashy. Why would I?'

'Let's go to bed and talk about it tomorrow. If you still want it tomorrow, then it is real. If you don't, then that's fine too. I won't take advantage of your situation. You're drunk, I'm very tipsy and we'll go to bed now.' Defeated, Jake nodded but insisted on holding hands on their way into the bus. Alex gave in and hoped that Jake wouldn't remember what happened, even though one part of Alex maybe do want to know what he'd do or say. He didn't exactly regret the first time and everything went back to normal. Why shouldn't it be like that this time around too?

What happened the next day was almost everything Alex had not wanted to happen. Not that Jake remembered and regretted the night before, no. Kaitlin had decided to make herself present again and called Alex multiple times, begging for another chance until the boy had blocked her.

'It's okay. She's gone now and won't bother you anymore, Jake said, holding Alex close as he silently cried into Jake's shirt.

'What if she won't leave me alone?'

'Shh, don't say that. I'm here to stop her if necessary, okay? I'm here for you, don't worry, the blonde whispered. It hurt him to see his best friend so shattered but he couldn't explain why it was bringing him down that badly. Even if Kaitlin had made his life a living hell, she was gone now and couldn't even call or text him anymore.

'Yeah', Alex replied, the team still running down his face and onto the thin fabric of Jake's shirt. Alex felt as if his world was ending. Images from the night before had haunted him in his dreams and he couldn't separate reality and dream anymore. When Kaitlin called, everything only got worse and now, the drummer couldn't tell what he was feeling anymore. Relieve, hurt, love, or jealousy?

'Thank you but you don't have to stay in here the whole time, Alex said, looking up for the first time.

'Don't be ridiculous Ashy. I'll stay with you until you feel better. Also, we're on a bus. Can't really go that far, can I?' Jake's slight attempt to joke made Alex giggle, and cuddling with Jake was the best medicine anyway.

The boys spend the last hours of the bus drive cuddled up in Alex's bunk bed, falling asleep at one point. 'Aww, take a photo.' 'Quick, before they wake up.' 'Move, I'll do it' A click sound was heard and Jake opened his eyes, confused by the flash that blinded him.

'What are you doing?', he asked, carefully rubbing his eyes, not wanting to wake up Alex. The boy looked exhausted and fragile, being so curled up to Jake.

'Nothing, Crystal said, smiling innocently.

'Just checking whether you're both okay, Michael said, supporting his girlfriend's obvious lie. Jake also had already looked through their lies and raised an eyebrow.

'Sure, whatever. I'm happy that Alex is asleep now, so let's keep it that way please, Jake said and the others nodded, leaving them alone again.

Jake let out a heavy sigh. His friend's condition also weighed on him, especially since he didn't know how to help him get better.

'Poor thing, he mumbled, combing through Alex's hair with his fingers. The longer he looked at Alex, the more confused he got. He just couldn't put his finger on why Alex was acting the way he was.

Alex suddenly mumbled and his eyes fluttered open.

'I'm here, Jake replied and smiled as Alex pulled him closer.

'Yeah', Alex whispered as he watched Jake put his head on Alex's chest. The honey blonde boy smiled and wrapped his arms around Jake who sighed happily.

The next time the boys went on stage, pretty much everything was back to normal. Jake performed like he usually did, fooling around with everyone and Alex chose to hold back a little. He decided that it was best if he wouldn't drink in the next few weeks as long as he couldn't trust his drunk self. Accidents like that night after they went to the club shouldn't happen anymore. Alex didn't want to be responsible for the end of Jake and Sierra's relationship as much as he would like the blonde for himself. Jake had already cheated on Sierra anyway and he was lucky that Sierra hadn't found out yet.

The end tunes of 'Want You Back' were playing and Alex emotionally prepared for 'If These Walls Could Talk'. Even if Jake didn't remember the night, Alex thought about the guitarist every time they played that song. They'd fall from grace.

'Some things are meant to be secret and not to be heard So if I tell you, just keep it and don't say a word.' At that point, Alex shut down. Hot tears started to run down the drummer's face but he bravely continued drumming. The tears blocked his slight but Alex didn't let that stop him.

When the song was finally over, Alex could take a deep breath and calm down. Before they'd perform the last song of the night, Michael talked a little, entertaining the crowd with a few bad jokes.

The drummer quickly wiped away the tears, satisfied with being able to stop them, and put on a smile. He finished the rest of the concert and was relieved when they were finally backstage. While the other boys were happily chatting about something, Alex needed a moment to himself and left the room. He locked himself in a cabin of a visitor bathroom, sliding down the wall until he sat on the floor hugging his knees and burying his face in them.

Michael, Calum, and Jake on the other hand quickly went showering because Calum wanted to finally introduce his new girlfriend.

'She'll be here in ten', Calum said before he started rubbing his hair dry with a towel.

Minutes later, the three boys were waiting dry and completely dressed for Aarany who should be there any minute. Since they would be playing another concert in the same arena the next day, they could take their time that night.

'Mate, no need to be nervous', Michael laughed as he watched Calum nervously pacing around the room.

'Yeah whatever, Calum answered, making Michael only laugh harder. Only now Jake noticed that Alex was missing. Usually, the boy's soft giggles would fill the room and make Jake giggle as well but they didn't.

'Where's Ash?' 'Huh?', Calum asked, turning around to Jake. 'Alex. Where is he?'

'Dunno. He didn't shower with us though', Calum replied with a shrug. They were used to having one of them missing all of a sudden, so no one was really worried. And even though there was no reason to be worried, Jake couldn't help but concentrate on that weird feeling in the pit of his stomach.

'Hey Aaranyr, Calum said, making Jake lookup. The guitarist's eyes were now focusing on the pretty girl with the blue short hair in front of him. Arany walked up to the boys, giving Calum a kiss before greeting Jake and Michael with a hug and introducing herself.

'Nice to finally meet you', Jake said with a blush as the girl broke away from the hug. Normally Jake wasn't the hugged person with people he didn't know. Well, of course, unless they were fans.

The boys talked to Aarany for a bit but Jake couldn't entirely focus on the conversation. After he had at least twice noticed that he only thought about the drummer with the honey blonde hair and the hazel eyes, he decided to finally look for the boy.

'I Uhm.. sorry, but I need to eh', Jake started, being at a loss for words. The drummer made Jake not being able to think straight and it showed.

'Toilet?'

'Uh.. yeah', Jake said and hurried out of the room. He didn't know where to go but he decided to look in the changing rooms. Maybe Alex had gone thereafter they had left.