I Love My Girlfriend But? - Part 8

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The blonde's long legs carried him all the way, tripping into the changing rooms, almost falling on his face while doing so. Jake was about to leave because the room was empty as he heard a shower running in the back.

'Ash?' With small steps, Jake made his way over to the showers. When he finally saw Alex, he felt his heartbreaking. The boy sat fully clothed under a running shower and his face buried in his hands. His shoulders were shaking and he was clearly sobbing his little heart out.

Jake froze just staring at his best friend who was falling apart right in front of him. Alex hadn't noticed Jake until he looked up with his wet hair hanging into his face.

'Jake?', he croaked, his voice obviously strained from all the crying. Little sobs still escaped his chapped lips but he tried to hold him in as best as he could.

Only the running water was breaking the silence that had fallen over the boys as they just looked at each other.

Jake took a step forward, holding a hand out for Alex to grab. When the drummer reached for the hand, Jake pulled him up. The wet floor made Alex slip slightly and the blonde tried to catch his friend, causing him to get wet too.

'Oh no, I'm sorry', Alex said while looking at Jake with red, puffy eyes.

'Don't be, the other boy answered, pulling Alex into a tight hug. Soon, Jake was soaking wet as well but he didn't care. All he cared about was Alex who was desperately holding onto him as if his life was depending on it.

The addressed boy looked up, bringing some distance between their faces. Sobs were shaking the smaller boy again and it was as if you could hear two hearts breaking.

'I need you', Alex said in all honesty. He couldn't hide anymore. He just couldn't.

'I'm here', Jake said and got closer to his friend again, connecting their lips in a kiss. Careful not to break the fragile boy, Jake moved his lips against Alex's, who hesitantly responded. Clearly confused by the blonde's kiss, Alex still could only think about the pain he felt. The aching feeling in his chest when he looked at Jake, making it hard to breathe. The feeling that made him feel heavy and dull, captured by his sadness and behind closed doors. The feeling made his stomach fill up with butterflies but let them die immediately as brutally as possible. Slow and painful.

The kiss was like a spark in the dark. A glimmer of hope when he felt like giving up. It made him think that he could try one more day. Only one more day and maybe that would make it right. Maybe Jake could fix this, fix him.

As the water was dripping down their bodies and their soaked clothes clung onto them like a second skin the door opened, revealing Michael.

'Jake?', he asked and the boys broke apart but it was already too late. Michael had seen them.

'Ash?', he asked confused, looking at the scene in front of him.

'What's going on?', he asked when no one spoke, making Alex and Jake tense up even more.

'I.. we.. it's not like that', Jake tried to explain but he knew that it was hopeless. Michael had seen them and there was nothing changing that.

'It was my fault. I irritated Jake, Alex said and gave Jake a last look before leaving the room. He walked past a very confused Michael, leaving an at least equally confused Jake back. What happened and why did it happen?

Can we talk?' Alex nodded and stood up. He knew that they had to talk about it at some point. Maybe just facing it would be the best way to deal with the situation.

The boys went to the back of the bus in which they were currently still sitting. They would arrive at the airport soon and Jake wanted to talk to Alex before they left the country for the next concerts.

'So?', Alex asked, biting his lip. Knowing that you would hear what will break your heart was horrible.

'1..1 didn't know that you had feelings for me, Jesus, Ash. I would've never kissed you.., the boy said, feeling the guilt eat him up alive.

'It's okay, I should've told you.'

'I feel so bad, All this talking about Sierra in front of you'

'It's okay Jake. I can deal with it', Alex said, avoiding looking at the blonde. He didn't want Jake to see the tears in his eyes. Of course, he was lying but he had to deal with it. There was no way around that.

'I'm sorry Ash, seriously.'

'I know Jake and I told you it's fine. I know that you don't feel the same. Just leave it now please', Alex said, standing up. He just wanted to be alone, dealing with the heartbreak on his own.

'Wait', Jake spoke up. He grabbed Alex's wrist, preventing him from walking away.

'No. Stop.' The hurt in their eyes was clearly visible because both boys were just very unhappy with the situation. Jake felt like losing his best friend when he let the drummer go, watching him disappear in front of the bus.

'What did you do now?', Michael asked as he sat down next to Jake, hugging his side.

'I just wanted to talk. I wanted to make it okay but I can't. I lost him, Mike.'

'No, you didn't. Jake, he needs time. You're still his best friend and we all know that but he's hurt. Give him time', Michael said. He was a little mad that Jake didn't see what he did to Alex before he had told him but in the end, Jake was one of his best friends and nothing could change that. Not even if he was acting like a total dick.

Only ten minutes later, they had to leave the bus. Calum and Alex were in the small bathroom of the bus, preparing Alex for the waiting fans.

'I can't Cal. I'm a hopeless mess', Alex sobbed. The crying boy sat on the closed toilet seat and Calum kneeled in front of him, trying to calm him down. With his thumbs, he wiped Alex's tears away.

'Don't say that. You'll be okay Ash', Calum said and pulled the boy up, right into his arms. Alex silently cried into Calum's shirt, desperately trying to stop.

'I'm pathetic Cal, I'm sorry.'

'You're not. You are a strong man, okay?' Calum brought some distance between the two, making Alex look into his eyes. With a sigh, Alex nodded, letting out a shaky breath.

'Let's go, huh?'

'Yeah, yeah. Let me just collect myself. I'll be out in a minute?' Calum nodded and patted Alex's shoulder once more before leaving.

The drummer on the other hand splashed some cold water in his face, trying to get rid of any evidence of him crying just minutes ago. With a towel, he dried off his wet face and leaned on the edge of the sink, looking at himself in the mirror.

'Can't be that hard to get over that long-legged dork', he said to himself before taking a deep breath and leaving the bathroom. The other boys were already waiting for him and gave him a warm smile as he joined them.

'Ready?'

'Yeah', Alex answered and followed the boys out of the bus. They were quickly surrounded by bodyguards, making it almost impossible to get their suitcases out of the bus. Eventually, they succeeded and walked towards the entrance of the airport, where their fans were already waiting.

'Stay together, guys! We don't have too much time. Just a couple of photos and autographs.' The boys nodded, walking a little faster to have a little more time to make their fans happy. While Alex seemed to do an actually a quite good job at smiling and hiding his emotional chaos, Jake was the complete opposite. He stumbled past the fans, only taking three pictures before it was too much. The guitarist earned a few confused and concerned looks but couldn't care less. All he thought about was how badly he had hurt Alex and that it was only his fault, that Alex had cried in the bathroom.

'Jake, wait up!', a voice yelled behind him. The blonde turned around, only to be faced with Alex.

'Ash?'

'Please Jake. I don't want this weird distance between us. I hate arguing with you and I'm sorry that I was so mean to you earlier. I just need time to accept it but I don't want this getting in the way of our friendship', Alex rambled, making Jake smile.

'I'm sorry too', he answered, pulling Alex into a hug. The drummer tensed a bit but soon relaxed in his friend's arms. Maybe this wouldn't be as easy as Alex thought it would be, but they could definitely make it.

'Pillow fight!'

'No, stop', Alex laughed, putting his hands over his head as a pillow hit him.

'Don't be boring', Jake pouted, throwing another pillow, this time a little less motivated.

'I'm not going to let you call me boring Mr. Hemmings', Alex said and stood up, taking a blanket with him. The smaller boy was quick to throw the blanket over the giant, making Jake fall from the bed.

'Man down, man down', Jake exclaimed a little too dramatic.

'Oh no, will he make it?', Alex asked, falling on his knees next to his friend.

'I don't think so.' With a last, very dramatic breath, Jake's limbs went limp.

'Oh no. !will never be happy again. If you're not in the world, I don't want to live anymore as well', Alex said, pretending to stab himself with a dagger.

'Romeo and Juliet? Seriously?' Jake started laughing as he sat up, not bothering to stand up. The floor was comfortable enough. Alex seemed to think the same thing, because he just laughed, staying on the floor as well.

'I love that story, okay?'

'Sure, alright. Hopeless romantic', Jake said, receiving a death glare from his friend.

'You know what? I'm going to punish you for that.' Jake furrowed his eyebrows at his friend's words.

'I'd love to question that because this is either going to end really bad for me or really kinky.'

'Bad. And in bad, I mean boring. And in boring, I mean sit your ass down and wait for your surprise', Alex answered with a cheeky smile.

'You know that this sounded horribly kinky as well?'

'Mhm, I'm aware.' Alex stood up and walked towards the doorway, stopping there and turning around. He blew a kiss towards Jake and winked before walking out completely to get his movie collection. Alex always brought his favorite movies with him, including Romeo and Juliet.

He quickly went through the plastic cases, pulling out the right one, and closing the zipper of his bag again. With a slight jump in his walk, he went back to the bedroom, quickly putting the disk in and setting everything up before pressing play.

'Now move and cuddle with me because I will cry and need comfort', Alex said as he jumped on the bed. Jake quickly did as he was told, wrapping his arms around the honey blonde. Alex's curls tickled Jake's chin but the boy didn't mind. He liked having the boy so close and an attractive drummer also known as his best friend between his legs wasn't the worst thing after all.

'Fuck, I love that movie.' 'Why?' 'Because I love love, don't you?' 'Uhm.. what kind of question is that?'

'Well, one I want you to answer but if the answer is no, don't answer it at all.'

'Alright. Yes.' Alex nodded, smiling happily at his friend's answer. With a satisfied smile, he moved a little closer to Jake, leaning against the boy's chest and closing his eyes.

'I thought you wanted to watch the movie?', Jake asked with a chuckle as he saw Alex slowly drifting off to sleep after only a few minutes of watching the movie he had picked.

'Mhm, sure', Alex replied. The effort he had to put in talking was clearly already too much, which was why he held his answers short. Jake just shook his head slightly with a fond smile and continued watching the movie.

About forty minutes later, Alex was sound asleep and Jake started to become sleepy too. Their positions had changed by now and Alex spooned Jake, even though Alex was a lot smaller than his friend. That's just how it's always been and no one was going to complain about it.

The movie went on, just like Jake's thoughts that lead from one thing to another, making him incredibly tired. The guilt was still eating him up and the fact that Alex acted like nothing had happened made the blonde go crazy. Feeling bad about something was just exhausting, especially when the reason was cuddling you. He couldn't believe that the drummer really felt as good as he was acting like but breaking his walls down wasn't an option either. They still had concerts ahead of them and Alex shouldn't constantly have to fight for being happy. Jake had to do something and help Alex, no matter how because in the end, it was his fault. With that being the last thing on his mind, the blonde fell asleep in the arms of the boy he had hurt.