The Women's Job - Part 15

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I wondered what feminine thing she had bought me this time?

Inside the box, neatly folded under crisp tissue paper, was a white silk tee shirt with a delicate lace inset. I tried to show delight when I held it up. "It's very pretty."

"I hoped you'd like it. It's simple but elegant. I think our taste in clothes is pretty similar." I could see she was thrilled with my reaction.

My eye caught sight of something else at the bottom of the box. It was another gift, a small box wrapped in pink tissue paper and tied with red ribbon. "What's this?"

"It's just a little something that means a great deal to me and I want you to have it, Jennifer."

Knowing it was something she treasured, I unwrapped it carefully. It was a necklace with a small heart locket. It looked expensive with its detailed scrollwork and a single tiny diamond in the center, I assumed it was real. "It's beautiful."

"Look inside." She told me. It contained a tiny picture of me. It was me that had been at her party. It had to have been one of the pictures taken by the photographer that had been there that night.

Virginia helped me put the necklace on. "I want you to wear it always. Let it remind you that I'm always here for you if you need me." Virginia hugged me, holding me close. When we finally parted, I saw her eyes were moist with tears.

"Are you all right?" I asked. I didn't know what made her react that way. She was so sweet to me and I was genuinely concerned.

"I will be." She assured me. "Now you better run along. You don't want to keep your young lady waiting and I'm sure you want to go home and change."

"I really had a nice time." I felt guilty about lying about my supposed date with Christy. I would have stayed but she would have known I had lied to her if I did.

"Maybe next Sunday you could have dinner with me again and maybe visit a little longer? We could have a little more time together. I'd really like that."

How could I say no? "So would I." I just couldn't resist giving her a kiss on the cheek. I knew it was the right thing to do and I felt good for doing it.

My mood was kind of melancholy the rest of the day. I went home and showered and changed, washing away Jennifer again. I only took off Virginia's locket while I showered. I had made a promise and I intended to keep it, for her sake. It would remain hidden under my clothes.

Work kept me pretty busy that week. We received notice that we were awarded the contract with Jansen Sportswear. The work was to begin in October and a lot of the shooting would take place out of town, in LA, and a half dozen other locations around the country. There was a little celebration at work that night.

I was busy typing a letter for Connie on Wednesday afternoon when my phone rang, It was Bobbie. "There's a call from Jansen for Jennifer." Bobbie thought it was funny.

"Who is it?" I was almost afraid to ask.

"It's Carol Hubbard, Mike Park's secretary."

I should have expected it. The three men knew me as Jennifer. What else would they tell their people? "I'll take it."

"It's all yours Jennifer."

The woman called to let us know fax was coming and wanted to introduce herself to me since we would be working together in the future. I played along. I decided it couldn't do any harm since I would never meet her face to face.

When I hung up, I went in and told Connie about the call. She got a laugh out of it.

Christy called me that afternoon, asking me to go out with her that night. I used the excuse of having to work late to say no. I knew what would happen if I agreed to meet her and I just didn't want to deal with having her turn me into Jennifer again. We did make a date for Friday evening but I played it coy and said I would meet her at the Point Club. If I had met her at her place she would have somehow convinced me to go as Jennifer and I didn't want to do that. It worked out well.

I only got to the gym twice that week. I went with Trish both times. I was getting used to aerobics and I felt good to expend my energy that way.

I spoke to my Mom that Saturday. She kept asking when I was coming home. I told her I didn't know when I could get away. I had no desire for my Mom or my Dad to see me, I had changed so much. They wouldn't appreciate the person I had become. "It's just so busy Mom. I just can't see how I can."

She offered to send me some of my old clothes but I told her I was fine and didn't really need them. She didn't understand why not. "I've pretty much got a new wardrobe Mom." She would have been appalled if she saw it, or me for that matter.

"Tina says she still hasn't heard from you."

I finally said goodbye to Mom after promising I'd call Tina as soon as we got off the phone. I made the call from the bedroom.

"Jeff!" She was surprised to hear my voice. Funny, no one called me just 'Jeff' anymore. I wasn't used to it. "I miss you terribly."

"I miss you too Tina." I really did miss the good times we used to have together.

"Why haven't you called me? Are you mad at me for some reason?"

"No, it's just that there's so little time for anything. I work so much." It was lame and I knew it.

"There's always time for a phone call. You've been gone so long. Are you seeing someone?" It was a logical assumption. It would also have been an easy way to end our relationship. Unfortunately, I still cared for Tina and, while it was hopeless to try to maintain a long-distance relationship, I didn't want to lose her forever. The other side of the coin was, if she saw me like I was or learned what I had been doing, she would have been absolutely repulsed. I was convinced of that.

It was a catch 22. I couldn't hold on to her but I didn't want to let go either. Telling her I was seeing Christy would have been a disaster. "There's no one else," I told her. I never used to lie to people I cared about.

"Will you be home soon?" Tina's voice sounded so sweet.

"I don't know right now. We just got a new contract this week and we'll be working day and night to get ready to start shooting in October." That was true. With everything else we had going on, it was going to get crazy.

We talked for about an hour. It was so good to talk the way we used to. I promised to call her, at least once a week.

I spent the day with Virginia the following Sunday. To please her, I arrived in one of the skirts from her collection and the white blouse she had given me the week before. Of course, the heart pendant hung at my chest.

We talked again but the conversation wasn't totally centered on me. We talked about her a little, her family, and her business.

Virginia was divorced. She had apparently separated from her husband about two years ago. She had a son but he apparently died. She wasn't anxious to talk about him and I didn't press.

Her ex-husband had started Castle Sportswear but it didn't really take off until Virginia became involved. She took over the company completely after their divorce. It was her idea to start the new line for men.

She had so many stories to tell. Some hilarious. We laughed until our sides hurt. I stayed till nine that night and didn't regret a minute of the time I spent with her. As usual, she had a gift for me.

"You don't have to do this Virginia." I insisted. "I come to see you because I enjoy your company, not to get presents." It was the truth.

"It pleases me to buy you things. Don't be angry with me Jennifer."

"I couldn't be angry with you." I wanted the hug this time.

I worked late most of the week. I had dinner at Christy's on Tuesday night after I made her promise we would just have a quiet dinner at home. She kept part of her promise. Debbie and Brook joined us. I really had a good time. Debbie couldn't resist teasing me about that Saturday, two weeks prior.

I think it was Thursday morning of that week, when I was getting ready for work, that realization really hit me. I had put on the red polyester shirt that I hadn't worn in a while. I just caught a passing, sideways, glimpse of myself in the mirror and there was the unmistakable shape of my small breasts, pressing against the silky material. When you see yourself day in and day out, subtle changes are not always easily discernable. I stood there, aghast. I immediately took the shirt off and changed it for another, looser-fitting one.

The medication, which I took faithfully, wasn't working. I felt the soft mounds of flesh. Now that I noticed how much my chest had changed, I was also more aware of how much I had changed in other ways.

Almost in proportion to the swelling in my chest, I was losing my manhood. My penis and testicles had slowly been shriveling up. They were barely discernable anymore, through the thin material of my underwear. In pantyhose, they were undetectable. I prayed that my ailment was only temporary.

My skin was smoother than it had ever been. I was shaving only about once every other week and the hair was so much lighter on my face. I still had not grown any hair on my chest and my leg and arm hair hardly grew at all. I had used the Delipatory Connie gave me, on my legs last Sunday before going to Virginia's but there was hardly any hair to remove. When would it all stop and let me go back to being myself?

I was afraid to go back to the doctor, afraid to hear a diagnosis that would condemn me to this new body. Part of my problem was that it was humiliating to go there and have him examine me. Everyone in his office, including the nurse and receptionist already knew of my malady.

I stopped off at the drug store on the way to work and bought a rib belt. In the men's room at work, I took off my shirt and put the restraining band of spandex around my chest. Checking myself with my shirt back on, the wrap didn't show through the heavy material. I managed to keep it hidden from Connie and the others at work but I didn't kid myself. Sooner or later Connie or someone would notice.

I made excuses for not seeing Christy. She would have seen as soon as we were intimate with each other and she never missed an opportunity to have me please her.

I surprised Connie as I came out of the bedroom Sunday, ready to go to Virginia's for what was becoming our regular Sunday get-together.

"You're wearing your bra?" I was surprised she noticed so quickly.

"I thought it might make Virginia happy and I was worried about looking strange without one under this blouse." I had on the red one I hadn't dared wear in weeks. It was the first time in a week that I wore anything but my bulkier, loose-fitting shirts.

She didn't have to know the real reason I was wearing the bra. It was such a relief to get the tight restraint off my chest. I almost filled the small cups of the bra and wearing it let me breathe normally for a change.

"You look very natural and pretty. Those breast forms are so real looking."

Of course, I looked natural. I wished I had been wearing the falsies.

"Is that a new skirt?"

"A gift from Virginia." It was the one she gave me the week before.

"It's very flattering. You look good in a slim skirt." She said with a grin.

"You are such a tease." I loved Connie's sense of humor. She could joke and I didn't feel offended.

I felt funny asking but, "Connie, do you think we could find me a new pair of heels?" That Sunday was going to the second time I had worn the same shoes when I saw Virginia and I was becoming fashion conscious enough that I felt funny about wearing the same shoes too often.

Connie didn't mind at all. "Of course Honey. We'll go out one night this week and buy you some new ones."

"Thanks." Connie was so obliging.

"Have a nice day Honey. I'll see you tonight."

I didn't make it out of the parking lot before I took off the heels. Trying to work the pedals with them on was so awkward.

After greeting me and fussing over how pretty I looked, Virginia sort of shocked me with her suggestion.

"There's an art exhibit at a little studio downtown and it's the last day. I thought we might go see it and have dinner out for a change."

I wasn't sure what to say. I would have preferred to stay right there with her, as usual.

She could see I was nervous. "We don't have to go, Jennifer. I just thought you might like to get out for a while. I know it can't be very exciting, sitting around here all day."

I was honest with her. "I'm afraid to go out in public."

"You needn't be Sweetheart." She put an arm around my shoulder. "You conducted yourself beautifully when we met for lunch. No one even imagined that you were anything but a charming young lady."

As far as Virginia was concerned, that was a compliment. "I just feel so self-conscious."

She gave me the same smile that Connie so often reassured me with. "I want to help you get over that feeling Dear. Why don't we just go to the gallery for a little while then we'll come back here for dinner? How would that be?"

I pictured a small art gallery, almost deserted, apart from a few patrons, wandering around looking at paintings. I had never been to an art gallery before. I decided, with Virginia beside me for support, that I could handle it. "I guess that would be all right."

To reassure me, Virginia added, "If I become too awkward for you we'll leave and come home."

That was enough to settle it. "Alright I guess, let's go then."

Virginia was delighted. "Wonderful. I'll just get a jacket and we'll go. Do you want one Dear? You really should have one on. It would look much more appropriate. I have a black one that would look perfect with your outfit?"

I wasn't about to question her judgment. "Yes, please." I followed her to her bedroom where, in her enormous wardrobe closet, she found the garment she was looking for. It was lightweight and appeared to be of the same material as the skirt she had given me. I worried about the shoulder pads. "They don't look funny?" I asked her, trying it on. It was a very expensive label.

"No, not at all. You have nice, narrow, sloping shoulders. It looks fine."

Narrow sloping shoulders. A disfigurement for a man that had always bothered me and now made me appear all the more feminine.

It was an overcast day and that did little to brighten my outlook. We had to park a block away from the gallery and walk. I had gotten pretty used to walking in heels but it was a little different on concrete sidewalks with all the cracks and an occasional grating to maneuver around. I could just picture getting a heel caught in something. That would be so embarrassing.

A man was holding the door and greeting people at the door to the gallery. He ushered Virginia and I in with a pleasant smile and greeting. "Good afternoon ladies."

Virginia responded so I felt obliged. "Good afternoon."

I continued to amaze me that no one thought my voice odd, for a girl. I mentioned it to Virginia.

"Not at all Jennifer. It's a little deeper than most girls’ but not at all unusual. You have a nice voice. Some even find that attractive. You should be pleased."

Another assault to my fading manhood.

The gallery was a little more crowded than I had expected but it wasn't so bad.

Virginia apparently knew a great deal about art and as we went from painting to painting, she tried to instill in me an appreciation of the artist's works. I stayed close to her, trying to be invisible.

Occasionally, someone, also looking at the same painting, would make a comment or observation. Virginia showed her love and knowledge of art in her responses.

Once, as we were looking at a particularly beautiful rendering of a landscape, an older woman standing next to me made a comment and I couldn't help but agree with her. I spoke before I gave it a thought.

Sometime during the two hours we spent pleasurably walking around looking and talking, I lost self-conscious Jeffrey and became a relaxed Jennifer. I didn't feel threatened. I didn't feel that everyone was watching me with suspecting eyes. I just strolled along beside Virginia, two people just enjoying the afternoon and each other's company.

It had rained sometime while we were in the gallery. When we stepped out on the sidewalk, the air smelled so fresh and clean. The foreboding dark clouds were gone and the sun shown around the few white billowing clouds that remained to make the blue sky a work of art.

Virginia suggested, "It's so nice, why don't we just take a stroll and look in the store windows?"

My apprehension was all but gone. That sounded nice to me. "I'd like that."

We strolled casually up the quiet street. On any other day of the week, the street would have been filled with people hurrying here and there. Atlanta's downtown, a busy business district, was like a ghost town on a Sunday with all the offices closed and the small shops that catered to them, taking a day off.

We occasionally came to a woman's clothing store with beautifully dressed mannequins in the windows. Since these stores catered to the businesswoman, most of the fashions were business attire. Virginia would comment on the skirt suits and dresses. I didn't have much to say. I was interested but not for the same reasons. I didn't want her to think I was enthused.

One shop stood out. I was different from the others. Its displays said it offered more casual clothes. One dress, in particular, caught Virginia's eye. It was a yoke-waisted floral print with a lace collar and calf-length hemline.

"Isn't that pretty?" Virginia commented, admiring it.

"Very." I agreed casually. It was a figure-flattering dress and just for a second, I wondered how it would look on me. Just for a second.

We turned left at the next corner which brought us out on a park that ran along a gently flowing river. I was unfamiliar with Atlanta and surprised to find it had a river flowing through it.

The park was narrow but full of trees shading its beautiful green lawns. Flowerbeds, overflowing with colorful flowers, bordered the path that wove through the park.

I felt so peaceful walking along by the river. The park was not empty. There were others enjoying it on that Sunday. Several blankets were spread out on the grass and young families were enjoying the afternoon.

We passed two girls with textbooks on their laps, studying. We saw joggers getting their exercise. All in all, it was picture perfect.

We followed the path until we came to the street that would take us back to Virginia's car. I was almost sad to leave the peaceful setting.

Buckling up, Virginia asked, "Are you sure you wouldn't like to have dinner out? It's early yet. The restaurants won't get busy for hours and I know this lovely little place just about a mile from here. It's right on the river and we could get a table with a view and enjoy the rest of the afternoon?"

As good as I felt just then, how could I say no? "That sounds really nice."

Virginia was thrilled that I changed my mind.

The restaurant was everything she said it would be. Especially the part about its being quiet and uncrowded. I did lose some of the serenity I had felt earlier, in the more closed in surroundings. It wasn't too bad though. I was getting more comfortable, acting like a lady in a restaurant. It was certainly not second nature to me but I managed without mishap.

The food was excellent and the view was wonderful. I felt guilty not contributing to the check when we were done. "Don't be silly Jennifer. This is my treat."

The only embarrassing moment was using the ladies’ room. It would have been impossible to wait until we got back to Virginia's. We had passed an hour and a half in pleasant conversation over dinner and it was getting to be the regular dinner hour. The restaurant was filling. We did not have the ladies’ room to ourselves.

I wanted to get in and out quickly but we had to wait in line for a stall. Virginia let me go ahead of her. When I came out, Virginia took my place. I wouldn't have thought to redo my lipstick if I hadn't noticed a woman doing hers. Afterward, I found myself in the awkward position of waiting for Virginia out in the restaurant lobby, alone. It was better than standing around in the ladies’ room.

Having men looking at me, some staring, made me very uncomfortable. Even men accompanied by their wives took at least casual notice of me. The uneasiness returned. Were they staring at a guy, dressed up as a girl? I wasn't so sure anymore.

If it wasn't that, if it was, instead, men staring at a woman, then I felt almost as self-conscious for looking so convincing.

I knew I used to do that to women but I never thought anything of it. It bothered me now. Did it bother women to have men stare, or was it just me?

Virginia finally joined me and we left. I asked her about it as we drove home to her house. "Not really. It's something you'll get used to. We don't think much of it." She did add, "Now if a woman gets caught staring at a man, that's different. Then she's accused of being a flirt, or worse. We'll talk sometime about the inequalities between men and women and how it affects us."

I wasn't ignorant. That would be a heavy discussion. I was content not to get into it now.

We got back to Virginia's around six-thirty. She made us tea. I had actually acquired a taste for it.

I took off her jacket that she had loaned me and carefully placed it on the back of the sofa.

Virginia apparently couldn't wait till later to come out with her usual gift because we no sooner sat in the living room than she pulled it from under the couch and handed me the boxes, two this time.

"Virginia, you really have to stop this." I insisted.

"I don't want to stop Jennifer and I intend to continue for as long as it pleases you." She said with an impish smile.

How was I ever going to end the charade when she kept doing things like this?

I held up the lightweight, white blouse.

"It's called a funnel collar," Virginia explained. The material was much more shear than anything I had ever worn. She must have realized what I was thinking. "Look in the box dear." There was a camisole to go under it. No way could I wear it, I told myself.

The second box contained another new skirt. It was an above-the-knee length, navy skirt with a back zipper and a short slit on the side. I appeared pleased for her sake. "They're beautiful Virginia."

"I knew you'd love them." She beamed. "Do you have blue shoes to go with the skirt?" She asked. "I almost bought you a pair but I wasn't sure."

I don't know what I was thinking when I said. "No, I don't but Connie was going to take me shopping for new shoes one evening this week. I'll get a pair then."

"Oh, I'd love to join the two of you. What night are you going?"

I had opened a door without thinking. "I don't know yet."

"Please call me when you've decided."

I knew then that I would regret telling her of our plans. The irony was that it had been my idea to go.

It was about eight when I finally got up to go.

"Don't forget your jacket." She told me.

"On Virginia. I can't take that too."

"Of course you can Sweetheart."

"Nice jacket," Connie commented as I walked in the door.

"Thanks. Virginia drives me a little crazy with all her presents."

Connie loved the skirt and blouse. "Virginia really has a nice taste. Now we definitely have to get you new shoes."

That reminded me. "She wants to go shopping with us when we go. You've got to help me to keep her from buying me things."

"Virginia has a mind of her own. If she wants to buy your clothes, there's not a whole lot you or I am going to be able to do about it."

What she said was true but, "I'm worried that she'll want me to try on clothes in the store."

"If she does, you'll handle it." Connie tried to reassure me. "Don't worry."

I did worry.

"What am I going to do with all the things she gives me?"

"Well, it does seem to give her a great deal of pleasure when you wear them for her."

That was true.

"We went to an art gallery today," I told Connie. I answered the concern on her face. "It went pretty well. I actually enjoyed myself."

"No mishaps?"

"No, not even a funny look. We took a walk and window shopped afterward, had a walk in a park, and then she took me out to dinner."

"You went out to dinner?"

"It was kind of nice. It was early and the restaurant was quiet."

"I'm so proud of you."

"I did panic just a little. After we finished dinner and went to the ladies’ room," I raised my eyebrows for emphasis and Connie laughed. "I was waiting for Virginia in the lobby and a couple of men were staring at me."

"That's not so strange. When you want to, you make a very attractive young woman."

I let that pass. I didn't want to be a 'very attractive young woman. I hadn't made my point yet. "Yes, but they were with women, their wives I assume."

"That doesn't stop men from looking."

"But doesn't that bother their wives?" I didn't think I had ever looked at another girl when I was with Tina or Christy, at least not the way they looked at me, staring the way they did.

"Of course it does but we don't say too much about it. Most men think nothing of it and they say we're overreacting if we do."

"That doesn't seem fair. Guys can do it but women can't?"

"Oh, my darling Jennifer. Who said life is fair? You have so much to learn about men." That lightheartedness I enjoyed so much in her, returned.

"I'm sure you'll teach me, Mother."

"Oh yes, Daughter. It's a mother's responsibility, after all."