The Women's Job - Part 25

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I hadn’t stepped foot into a church in years, besides, "I don't have anything to wear to church."

"Oh, I haven't shown you the surprise!" Virginia remembered. "Connie, you come too."

We followed her upstairs. I thought she would take us to her bedroom. That was the only room I had seen up on the second floor. Instead, we passed her door, and we stopped at the next door down the hall.

"I know I'm being silly." She told us, "but I wanted you to have a place of your own when you came over to visit." She looked so excited as she opened the door and stood back for us to see.

I couldn't believe that Virginia had set aside a room in her home for me. The woman was so sweet and thoughtful. I still hadn’t figured out what I could possibly have done to deserve the love and affection she bestowed on me?

It was beautiful. Any girl in her right mind would have fallen in love with it. I was impressed.

The walls were covered with pink paper with white and yellow flowers. The bed was a large white canopy bed, and the bedspread matched the wallpaper. White lace framed the canopy. The thick carpeting was almost stark white.

Pink and white nightstands stood on either side of the bed. They held gold lamps with white shades. There was a large low dresser that matched the nightstands. A huge mirror arched over behind the big piece of furniture.

Lastly, adored by ornate chairs on either side, was a dressing table with a lighted mirror.

"It's gorgeous," Connie remarked.

I saw something other than pleasure on Connie's face. I did have to agree with her opinion of the room. "It's beautiful."

Virginia beamed with joy. "I'm so glad you like it, Jennifer. You should go look in the closet."

There was more? I did as she asked and pulled aside the mirrored doors of the big walk-in closet.

I just stood there, amazed. About eight feet long, one wall was full of new clothes, dresses, blouses, skirts, dozens of beautiful new outfits.

Virginia came up beside me and put her arm around me. "I could give it to you a piece at a time, but I thought you might want a little more variety than you have, for work or whatever."

"You shouldn't have," I told her. On the floor were at least twenty pairs of shoes, All colors, and styles.

"It makes me happy. I enjoy seeing you in pretty things. I just want you to be happy."

That was obvious. "But it must have cost you."

"Money's not important if you don't enjoy it." She told me. "I'm just thrilled that you're pleased."

I looked back over my shoulder for Connie. I wanted her to see it all. Connie seemed to be lingering in the background. I knew something was bothering her, but I wanted to show her. "Can you believe all this?"

She smiled, but I thought it looked forced. "It's wonderful." She said. "You're a fortunate girl, Sweetheart."

Her referring to me as a girl hardly bothered me at all. What did, was seeing her that way.

Virginia went to the rack of clothes and took down a dress. "You could wear this to church in the morning. It's so pretty and delicate. It will look precious on you."

It was white and trimmed in lace. The short sleeves were puffed at the shoulder and trimmed with the same lace that decorated the neckline. I could see that the waist was fitted. It looked so narrow that I couldn't imagine it fitting me. The dress flared below the waist with a conservative, just above the knee hemline. It really was a pretty dress, and I couldn’t wait to see if it fit. I decided it wasn't the time to fuss over it. There would be time enough later since I didn't have a reason for going home anymore.

I was worried about Connie. We walked her downstairs. I hugged her and gave her the kiss goodnight that had become our ritual. "Good night, Mom," I told her at the door.

"Good night, Sweetheart." She hugged me a little longer than usual. Was she feeling insecure? Was she afraid I would prefer to stay with Virginia instead of her? That wasn't going to happen, but I couldn't tell her that with Virginia standing beside us. No, Sunday, when I got home, I would reassure her.

I watched as she got in her car and drove away alone. I felt terrible like I had abandoned her somehow. I watched from the front door till her car disappeared out the end of the driveway.

"It's late. We ought to get to bed if we're going to get up and go to church in the morning." Virginia suggested. "I'll just lock up. Why don’t you go up and start getting ready for bed?"

"I could help you close up?" I offered.

Virginia smiled. "No, that's all right, Honey. I'm used to it. I'll be up in a minute."

"Ok."

I had hardly been in the room a minute when she joined me. "The bathroom's though here." Virginia opened the door next to the dressing table.

The bathroom was huge compared to mine at home. It had a long vanity with two sinks, a tile shower, and a big contoured tub. There were jets set around the sides.

"It's a jacuzzi," Virginia explained, seeing my interest in the jets.

What I didn't see was a toilet. Virginia anticipated my question. "The toilet and bidet are in there." She pointed to a door across from the vanity.

I had seen bidets in the movies, but I had never seen one in real life. I knew what they were for, but I couldn't imagine using it. I just had to peek at it.

"There are fresh towels in the closet, and I think you'll find everything you need under the vanity. I didn't know what you'd want for makeup. I figured you'd probably have everything you'd need with you. You can borrow anything of mine you don't have."

That pretty well covered it. "Thanks."

She led the way back into the bedroom. "There are nighties in the dresser, and I bought you some new underwear."

She had planned ahead. I had just assumed the dresser was empty. "Virginia, you shouldn't have."

Smiling, she lightly stroked my cheek. "I told you, it makes me happy. I'll see you in the morning, Honey."

"Good night . . . Would it bother you if I called you 'Aunt Virginia?" I felt so strange calling her Virginia. We had only joked about her acting like my Aunt in the past.

"I'd like that, Jennifer. Of course, you may."

I kissed her on the cheek. "Good night Aunt Virginia."

"Good night, Honey. Sleep well." She closed the door behind her.

It was late, and I was tired, but I was more curious. I looked at everything in the closet. I even tried a few things on. I was shapelier than I realized, the white dress fit perfectly. The shoes were all the right size too. I shouldn't have bothered wondering. She knew all my sizes from our shopping spree.

There was hardly anything in the closet I would have called casual wear. There were one or two pairs of slacks, but they were definitely dressy. All the blouses were the same way. There wasn't anything like the clothes I had bought that day.

One by one, I opened the dresser drawers. One held slips, both long and half slips. The next, panties, a dozen pairs in different colors. One drawer was just for bras, and it held five or six pretty ones. Another contained pantyhose, the nice silky kind that I liked, at least two dozen pairs in assorted colors. I found the nighties, fancy ones of nylon with pretty lace trim. Had she forgotten anything, I wondered in amazement?

The bathroom was equally well-stocked. Shampoo, conditioner, lotion. I wished I had my own, but the big bottle wasn't something I could carry around in my purse. I would have to get a little travel size bottle, so I could have it with me wherever I went. Maybe I would get a bottle to leave at Virginia's.

There was deodorant, hair spray, neither were the brands I normally used, but I would make do.

There were disposable razors so I could shave my legs if I needed to. Virginia didn't know I hadn't shaved my legs in months. From time to time, I did need to share my armpits, but that was the only place hair seemed to grow. It would have been disastrous if I had to shave my face, but from what I had read about the hormones in my body, that wasn't likely to be necessary.

In one of the drawers, I found a curling iron. In the next were electric hot rollers. They excited me. I wanted to play with when there was time, but not that night.

I decided I better get ready for bed. It was after two, and Virginia did say that we had to leave for church by nine-thirty.

I slid under the cool covers in my new pink chemise nightie. The lace detailed spaghetti straps were something new and unfamiliar but oh so comfortable. The chemise felt so nice against my skin under the new sheets. I had no trouble getting comfortable and drifted off to sleep easily.

There was no alarm to awaken me, and I would not have awakened on my own. Virginia woke me, and I opened my eyes to see the morning sun shining through the sheer curtains over the big bay window.

"Time to wake up, Honey."

My eyes adjusted to the light. Virginia stood at the side of the bed in her nightgown and robe. "Good morning," I said sleepily.

"Good morning, Honey." She answered with a smile. "Did you sleep alright?"

"Oh yes. I love this bed." It was much softer than mine at home.

"I'm glad. It's time to start getting ready for church. I wasn't sure how long it took you to get ready in the morning. We have an hour and a halt till we have to leave. Is that enough, I hope?"

"Plenty," I assured her.

I was showered, my hair did, makeup on, and dressed in an hour. I didn't need to borrow any jewelry from her, my pearls looked just fine with the white dress. The white heels I found in the closet looked wonderful with the dress. They had bows on the toes that were so pretty.

I was staring at myself in the mirror when Virginia came in to see how I was doing. "You're ready already?" She looked me over from head to toe. "I love that on you." She said, smiling at me from the door.

"It fits perfectly. I just love it." If I was starting to sound like a girl, it was because I was beginning to feel like one. The expressions and mannerisms I so naturally used were becoming second nature to me. Like walking and sitting and the hundred other little things, I had learned and practiced every day.

I wasn't conscious of it at the time, but I was also becoming more flamboyant in expressing myself, using my hands more, and flipping my hair. The role I was playing was becoming less and less of a role and more a natural part of my everyday life. Had I realized I was changing so much, I might have been worried, but I was oblivious of it.

She approved of the pearls with the dress. "I'm so glad you like them."

"They're the most beautiful jewelry I have." I knew that would please her to hear.

"We'll have to buy you some more nice things."

I started to say that wasn't necessary.

"Now, don't you start that again." She told me, smiling.

She was going to do exactly as she pleased, and there was nothing I, or anyone else, was going to do about it.

"We better get going. We don't want to be late. Come on down to my room, and I’ll loan you a little white clutch bag. You can't carry your black purse with that dress."

I had the white bag she had bought me at home, but that didn't do me much good here.

She had made coffee, but I preferred just orange juice. I hadn't had coffee in months, I‘d lost my taste for it. I realized I didn't have my vitamins with me. I had grown so accustomed to taking them that I felt guilty. Connie was religious about our taking them.

I was a little nervous about going to church but not too.

We were early. There was plenty of time for her to introduce her 'niece' to all her friends, and she had quite a few. I was introduced to men and women alike. Almost all complimented me on my lovely dress and told me how pretty I was.

I was pleased with the way I looked and the compliments I received. Who would have ever thought that I could feel the way I did about wearing women's clothes? I felt . . . pretty.

"So this is the young woman you've been telling us about." I heard the same comment a dozen times. I shouldn't have been surprised. Virginia looked very pleased with the way they accepted me. I had no trouble remembering how to behave.

I hadn't given a thought to what kind of church we were going to. I was raised as a Lutheran. The Baptists worshiped much differently than I remembered the services at my old church in New York. The singing was something I hadn't even thought about, but I did all right. My singing voice was not so different from my speaking voice, and I got away without sounding like a guy. I was lucky.

There were more introductions to people afterward. I found myself in the middle of a dozen women all sharing the week’s news and gossip. The women's husbands formed their own little coffee clutch. I wondered what they were talking about? I certainly didn't have much to add to the conversation the women were having. They talked about their children and grandchildren and a myriad of other topics that wouldn't have interested their husbands.

One of the younger women in the group asked Virginia if we wanted to join them for golf that afternoon. I would have enjoyed playing, I wasn't aware Virginia played. There was a lot about Virginia I didn't know.

Virginia must have felt I wasn't too comfortable in that situation, surrounded by women gossiping, because she excused us, and we left for home.

In the car, I commented. "They wanted you to play golf with them. You could have gone. I would have been alright."

"Don't be silly. I finally get to spend the whole day with you, you don't think I'd run off and play golf and leave you alone?"

"We could both play," I suggested. "I wouldn't mind."

She acted surprised. "You play?"

"I used to have a fifteen handicap." Nothing to be too proud of.

Seemingly impressed, she said, "I'll give Gwen a call when we get home and see if we can join them."

"I'll need to rent clubs." That was no big deal.

"No need, I have an extra set. We can run by Virginia's, and you can get a change of clothes. I don't think you'd fit in any of my things."

Funny that the first thought that came to mind was what would I wear. I had an idea what would be appropriate. Maybe I was fortunate that I let the girls talk me into some of the clothes they had the day before.

"Do you have golf shoes?" She asked.

"No." Mine was in my golf bag in my bedroom up North.

"We'll stop and get you a pair."

"Could we run by home first?" I didn't want to go into a store dressed in my new white dress. It just didn't seem proper for shopping.

It didn't seem right to ask Virginia to wait downstairs while I went up to the apartment to get something to wear. I would have liked a moment alone with Connie to talk, but it would have to wait.

I was disappointed to find she wasn't there. In the kitchen, I found evidence that she had not had breakfast alone. "Connie went out early," I remarked. "I wanted to show her my new dress."

"She'll see it another time, Honey," Virginia assured me.

While I was there, I poured myself a glass of juice and took my vitamins.

"You take all those every day?" Virginia asked, seeing me lay out the five different pills I took.

"Every day," I said proudly.

I decided to buy myself, at the first opportunity, a small pill container so I would always have a supply of my vitamins with me in my purse.

I hadn't taken anything I bought out of the bags. I wasn't even sure where the things were I was looking for.

Virginia enjoyed seeing everything I bought. "You picked this all out yourself?"

"Christy and a couple of our friends went shopping with me, they helped."

"I don't know why I didn't think to get you any casual wear. I don't know what I was thinking of." She chastised herself.

"I have plenty Aunt Virginia." I insisted, but she just smiled at me. I knew what she was thinking.

I finally found the tan shorts I had been looking for. Next, I wanted the new tee shirt I found. I continued rummaging through the bags.

"This would go really well with your shorts," Virginia remarked. She picked up the pale yellow tank top that Christy had picked out for me, from the bed.

"Really, you think?" It was snug fitting. Christy had insisted I buy it, and a few other things like it.

"Absolutely."

I grabbed the bag with the sneakers I bought and got out my new white Keds.

Virginia was rooting through my dresser drawer. She brought out a pair of socks. "Here, I knew you had a pair that nearly match that top." She held up a pair of pale yellow cotton socks.

"You can change at my house. We really have to get going if we're going to be able to meet them on the tee."

It didn't take us ten minutes, on our way to the golf course, to pick up new golf shoes. I was floored by the price of the box. I wasn't about to argue with Virginia when she took out her checkbook.

My game had suffered a little in the year and a half since I'd played but not too badly. I wasn't able to drive the ball as far as I was used to. Maybe it was the strange clubs, they were women's?

I didn't realize how much muscle I’d lost over the past months. My arms, as wiry as they were to start with, were even thinner and weaker than they used to be. I didn't know if the hormones had affected my muscle tissue.

I felt funny going out on the course in the figure-hugging spandex tank top. It fit so tightly over my chest that it showed off the outline of my breasts. It made them look bigger, and I had to wonder if they were still growing. I had seemed lately that my bras had to have shrunk in the wash, or had they? My soft fleshy breasts more than filled the small cups of my bras.

Still, I had a good time playing. The two women we played with were good company and not bad golfers. We were all pretty evenly matched, and that helped.

We were followed by a foursome of men. Two were young, about my age, and two older. They looked like a pair of fathers and sons.

The group in front of us was very slow, and several times, the men caught up with us at the tee. They made casual conversation. The older men spoke more with the others. The younger pair opted to pass the time with me, although I would have preferred they leave me alone, I didn’t want to appear rude in front of Virginia and the others.

I felt very conspicuous in the tank top with them standing so close and staring at me.

They talked about our golf games after introducing themselves. "You have a very nice stroke, Jennifer." The blond one, Craig, remarked. "I was watching you tee off."

I smiled a casual smile. "Thanks" was my only reply.

"I saw that chip shot onto number four. That was great." Jack added. "You look like you've been playing a while." He sat on the bench next to me.

"About six years," I told him. Jack was the better looking of the two. He reminded me of Mel Gibson.

They continued to make conversation as we waited to tee off. I smiled when it was appropriate. I didn't enjoy it, but I also didn't let it show.

"So what do you do, Jennifer?" Craig asked.

"I work for an advertising agency. I'm the executive assistant to the head of the division." I told them proudly.

"So you're a secretary?" Jack asked, apparently trying to clarify.

It wasn't the way he said it, his words didn't sound sarcastic, it was just that he made it seem demeaning, 'just a secretary.' I was proud of the work that I did. I may have started out as a secretary, but I was much more than that now.

My reply was with a sarcastic undertone. "I'm not just a secretary. I report directly to one of the vice presidents of the company." I was so flustered at his comment that it didn't come out as strongly as I intended.

The two guys just looked at each other. I saw the faint smile they exchanged. I resented them taking me so lightly. It was one of my first experiences with the bias that so many women had to endure.

Fortunately for them, or maybe me, it was time to tee off. I hit my tee shot in the same direction as Virginias, and we walked from the tee side by side, pulling our handcarts.

"Craig was cute. What were you three talking about?"

She thought he was cute. "He's a jerk," I told Virginia the comment he made and their reaction to my remark.

"Honey, you've got a lot to learn about men." She said in a motherly tone. "Most are like children who don't think before they open their mouths. Just be patient with them."

"I'll try." It sounded as if she thought I had an interest in men. Hadn't I just had the same conversation with Connie, I asked myself? There wasn't the time then to correct her mistaken impression. There was almost no opportunity to talk to her without the others overhearing.

They caught up to us again on the number eleven tee. If my sarcasm earlier had offended them, it didn't show.

Craig asked, "Your husband doesn't golf?"

"I'm not married." His question would have been humorous if I didn't recognize it as a ploy to find out if I was single.

Jack followed up his question with one of his own. "Engaged?"

They weren't subtle at all. "No."

"Maybe you'd allow us to buy you a drink at the nineteenth hole if you and your friends are planning to stop off after your game?" Craig offered.

I had no idea if Virginia and her friends planned on having a drink after, but I definitely wasn't interested in their offer. "I don't think we're stopping for one."

I just wanted them to leave me alone.

A little later, it occurred to me that I should have responded to their rude questions with a few of my own. I should have asked if they were married and why their wives or girlfriends didn't golf with them. I had simply been too nervous to think of things like that at the time.

They were right behind us on eighteen. By then, I just wanted to finish and get out of there. I didn't ask Virginia if she was planning on stopping off for one. I should have, explaining to her why, but I waited too long.

"You don't have to have a drink. You can just order a soda." She suggested when I told her I wasn't interested in going into the small bar.

Virginia and her friend wanted to discuss the game they just finished. From the small table we shared, I watched out the window, looking toward the eighteenth green. I hoped they wouldn't stop. Maybe they hadn't seen us come into the bar?

I finally spotted the four men as they rounded the backside of the green. All hope disappeared as they made a direct line toward the clubhouse and the bar. I had no doubt they planned on coming in. I turned my attention back to my companions. I would ignore them.

"So, how did you do?" Jack asked over my shoulder.

So much for them leaving me alone. "I ended up with a 78." He looked surprised. I had the feeling he didn't do as well. It was my turn to have a little fun. "How did you do?"

"An eighty-one." He said sheepishly.

Craig came up behind him. "How did you do?"

He didn't look any better than Jack when he heard my score.

"Would you let me buy you a drink?" Jack asked.

I was about to say no.

"Go ahead, Dear. We'll be right here."

I turned to Virginia in surprise. I hadn't expected her to encourage me. Jack had his hand on the back of my chair, ready to pull it out for me. "I don't know."

"Go on, Honey, I'm fine." Virginia insisted.

Again she pressed me to go. "Just a coke," I told the two as I got up from the chair. We didn't sit with the two older men. The tables were too small to hold five people.

Craig held my chair for me as I sat. They made small talk. They stayed away from the topic of work, asking where I came from up North. My accent certainly wasn't southern.

They asked who Virginia was, and I told them, "She's my Aunt."

"So you're just visiting?"

"I've just moved down."

"And you're staying with your Aunt?" Jack asked.

"No, I live with a friend."

Craig was blunt, "A girlfriend?"

"My adopted Mom," I answered. That was essentially true.

Jack asked, "So you haven't had a chance yet to see much of Atlanta?"

The small talk was becoming boring. "No. I work most of the time."

"You should get out and see more," Craig suggested.

I knew what was coming. "When I get some time to myself." I wasn't about to give them an easy opening. I wondered which of them was going to get to it first. It didn't matter, of course, I wasn't about to accept an invitation to go out from either one.

I thought to myself, if I really were a woman, Jack would be my preference to go out with.

I had been impatiently waiting for Virginia and her friends to finish their drinks so we could go. They finally pushed their chairs out from the table.

"Well, it's time for me to go," I announced to the pair. They had missed their chance, I laughed to myself.

I was wrong. Jack was the one who spoke up as I pushed my chair away from the table. "Some friends and I have tickets to the benefit concert next weekend, I was wondering if you'd like to go." He looked very nervous.

I remembered the times I had asked a girl to go out in almost the same way. I was always nervous, afraid she'd say no and be rejected. I always hated that moment of truth.

Craig looked dejected. He was probably angry with his friend that Jack had asked first. I could imagine the conversation they'd have when I left.

No way was I going to accept Jack's offer.