Becoming A High School Girl - Chapter 35

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The school was very exciting. Prom fever was running through the school, and almost every senior girl had a bad case of it, including yours truly. I did talk with Ms. B about the latest incident. She told me that I shouldn't worry as I had so many people in my corner.

Lisa was still in the program and seemed to be less moody. She told me that she was looking forward to the prom. Even Denise seemed to be looking forward to the prom. I asked her if she had a date, and she told me that she was going with the bass player from the Downfall. I couldn't remember what she looked like, but I was sure that they'd be the two most interesting persons at the prom.

At lunch, we all were talking about the prom. Tracey still wasn't back from the funeral; Kristen said that they were returning late the next day. Laura was really getting fed up with all the BS associated with planning the prom and grad night. She had a meeting every day after school. She felt it was overkill and that if everyone just did their jobs, there wouldn't be a need for so many meetings.

"Mom says the same thing about her job," I remarked.

Kristen confirmed that everything was set for our dinner and the limo. We were all going to meet at her house, and the limo would pick us up there. It was all pretty exciting.

The rest of the day passed without incident. I walked home with Cat, as Laura had her meeting to attend. I would have stuck around, but I needed to get home for work. It also gave me a chance to talk with Cat.

"When is Matt arriving?" I asked.

"Thursday night. He was going to get a hotel room, but I arranged for him to stay over at Alex's place. They have a guest room in the upstairs part of the barn next to Alex's room," explained Cat. That would work out well as Alex was throwing a post-prom party.

"I can't wait until Saturday night. I'm shocked at how much I'm getting into this whole prom thing," I exclaimed.

"I still remember your shock and horror when I first called you Erika, and now you can't wait to be all dolled up for the senior prom," joked Cat.

"I know; it's been a very enlightening year."

"Just remember when you sell your life story to Hollywood, I get to pick who plays me," smiled Cat.

"I just hope that there's a happy ending."

"There will be. I don't see it happening any other way." Her confidence was very reassuring.

I got home from work just in time to join Sam and Mom for dinner. Mom had just beat me home, and Sam had cooked dinner for us. He was actually a pretty good cook.

"So what's for dinner? It smells really good."

"Beef stew, old family recipe," he answered.

It tasted as good as it smelled.

"Any news on the Rev?" I asked.

"No. I called Marlene, and she's very interested in seeing the photos of the doll. She got a very interesting phone call from Martin Turner. He said that neither he nor Jason has anything to do with what is happening and that he wanted to reassure her that they don't support the Rev's actions. In fact, they've sent a letter to the paper stating this. If he's telling the truth, then it'll hurt the Rev a lot."

"Why would Jason do that?" I asked. Sam had also baked some biscuits, and I was putting some butter and honey on one.

"It works well in his favor. By not supporting the Rev, he'll look better to the parole board," explained Sam.

"Do you think that they'll remember that in twenty years?" I asked. I took a bite of the biscuit, and it was excellent.

"If he stays clean and avoids problems, it won't hurt him," added Sam. "There's no way that the case will be reviewed. Even Martin Turner refused to appeal the case."

"There's a name that I hoped never to hear again."

The biscuit was very good, and I decided to splurge and have a second one.

"I know he isn't top on your list, but he is a good attorney. If there was even a slight chance of an appeal succeeding, he would have filed. I think he's glad that Jason didn't get a stiffer sentence."

"I don't question his legal skills, just his sense of morality."

"Changing the subject, we need to tell you some happier news," said Mom. "We filed your name change paperwork today."

"Really? That's great! So what is my new name going to be?" I asked anxiously.

"The adoption papers are still being processed, so your last name will still be Walters for now, and of course, your first name will be Erika," said Mom.

"And my middle name?" I asked.

"I want to tell you the reason first. I have decided to give you the name of my best friend who I told you about the other night. So you'll be Erika Jean Walters until the wedding. What do you think?" asked Mom.

"Sounds lovely, although I can't wait until it is Erika Jean Warren! I'm honored that you're giving me the name of your best friend," I said, and I got up and gave them both a hug.

During dessert, I told them about the loan for my surgery. I'd forgotten to tell them earlier due to all the crap with the Rev. Sam said that it sounded too good to be true, but he'd review the paperwork when it arrived. He said that if it was as good as advertised, then we should consider it.

I checked Tuesday's paper and didn't see any replies to the Rev's letter. I figured that I'd see some in tomorrow's paper. I was looking forward to talking to Jenny that afternoon. I had much that I needed to discuss and a few things I wanted to vent. My biggest fear was that I'd have another episode brought on by the stress of the Rev. I didn't want to screw up the prom or graduation.

I was also looking forward to my weekly chat with Sandra. Mom was very happy that I had a successful TS woman I could talk to and impressed with the support group that the scholarship committee had formed.

The school was a breeze. I haven't talked a lot about my grades. I was a pretty solid B student at my old high school. I'd never taken the extra effort to push for higher grades. That all changed at Central High. My first term grades were excellent, and I'd ended up with five A's and a B. This semester I was looking at all A's. I'd never cared about something like that before. I only wished that I'd become more motivated earlier. I'm not totally sure about why my grades were so much better. Maybe it was due to growing up or because of the move, or maybe it was due to being at ease with myself. Whatever the reason, I was proud of my new higher academic standing.

Laura drove me; she said that she wouldn't miss our post-therapy cappuccinos.

I had a good session with Jenny. I told her all about the Rev's tactics. I suspected that she already knew, but she didn't let on. I also expressed my fears about prom and graduation. She did a good job of easing my fears, telling me that I wasn't at fault for this. So many people had told me this, yet I still had a feeling that it was my fault. Stupid? Yes, but that's why they are called irrational fears.

Afterward, at Spencer's, I had my usual the key lime pie and cappuccino. I was beginning to think that they saved me a slice knowing where I was coming from. Laura shifted to cheesecake with raspberries on top. I tried a piece, and it was very good.

"You know you've now been on hormones for six weeks!" Laura reminded me.

"Wow, you're right." I took a bite of the key lime pie.

"How do you feel?" asked Laura.

"Good," I answered with a big smile on my face.

"I thought you'd like the outfit I picked out for you at the sleepover. I imagine that it felt nice against your budding nipples," whispered Laura.

I smiled and giggled. "It felt very nice."

We finished our treat and went for a walk around the campus area. The weather was nice, and there was a feeling that summer wasn't too far away. I longed to just lie in the sun. I wasn't really into sunbathing; I just wanted to feel the warmth of my changing body. Laura kidded me about helping me pick out my first bathing suit. It was so much fun to just have a regular conversation with my girlfriend.

I called Sandra around 8:00. We'd been trading e-mails, so she knew all about the Rev. I also told her that my name change paperwork had been filed.

"That is a huge step. I'm very happy for you. So what do you want to talk about tonight?" she asked.

"How do you handle your identity? I mean, you said that you tell people that you date, but do you still see yourself as transgender or as female? This isn't coming out the way I want it to," I asked.

"I think I know what you mean. I don't wear the label "transsexual" on my lapel. I'm not ashamed of who and what I am. But I'm not an activist either. I do have friends who are very public about being TS, and that's right for them. I'm mainstream, but I don't lie either. My boss and coworkers know about me, and they are comfortable with me. I'm TS, but it isn't my entire identity. I believe I can best help our cause by showing that a TS can function normally and without a lot of fanfare. This doesn't mean that I don't stand up for my rights. Mainstream doesn't mean doormat. Does that make sense to you?"

"Yes, it does. I'm torn between wanting to be just accepted as a woman, and at the same time, I want to stand up to intolerance."

"You can do both," she answered.

We talked for another hour or so. Many of the questions were related to the changes that I was beginning to notice. It was nice knowing someone who could get me through the rough parts and prepare me for what was happening. She gave me a few good websites to look at for both hormones and surgery.

"I have one last question. Do you have any regrets about getting the surgery?" I asked

"Only that I didn't get it sooner. It's not a cure-all, but it did give me a sense of wholeness. Don't look at it as the end of the journey, but as another step. We can talk more about this next time. Have a great time at the prom!"

We agreed to the talk next week, and we said goodbye.

Wednesday's paper had the first responses to the Rev. Now; our paper always tried to show balance in the editorial and letters section, so I knew that I should look at content instead of numbers. I was pleasantly surprised by the letters; almost all were in support of me.

I was pleased to see they'd printed both Marlene's and Martin Turner's responses. Martin's was more of a disclaimer against the Rev than it was a letter of support for me. But I was really pleased to see letters from people telling the Rev to stay away. One man claimed to have been on the jury, and he said that Jason wasn't just guilty but VERY guilty. The rest of the letters that supported me all made it clear that my gender wasn't an issue. One of the letters in support of me was from a minister. I was really pleased to see that one, as it showed that this wasn't a religious issue but a legal and human rights issue.

There were a couple that supported Jason. One said that it couldn't be rape as I wasn't really female. I guess he never read the law. Another was a very strong religious rant against me. I was grouped with illegal drugs, illegal immigrants, abortion, divorce, and evolution as the reasons society was about to collapse. I didn't know I was SO important. I'm surprised he didn't propose burning me at stake! Still, another blamed the scholarship competition for causing all the problems in the first place.

I was very happy and excited by the positive responses. Mom said that I shouldn't get too excited.

"Don't get me, wrong honey, I think this is wonderful, and I truly think that it reflects the opinion of the majority of the people here in town, but there will still be those who oppose you, and they may do it more intelligently than the two in the paper," she remarked.

She was right. I needed to be ready for criticism. Still, it felt very good seeing the support against the Rev.

The rest of the week, there were other responses in the paper to the Rev. They were overwhelmingly against the Rev. I recognized a few names in the support letters. As for the letters in support of the Rev and/or against me, they were few and very poorly stated. Paul told me that he'd talked to the editor in charge of selecting letters, and he had stated that the negative letters printed in the paper were the best ones sent in. He also told Paul that many came in without state postmarks with no return address, leading him to believe that the Rev and his group were sending in responses. Those never got printed.

Jumping ahead to Friday evening, I was sitting with Laura in Spencer's. We sat very close to each other. It felt good just to sit with her. We'd both had an emotional week. My issues have been discussed already. Laura had to deal with the last-minute planning for the prom. She was fed up with all the petty arguments and complaints. She joked about getting Tony, the limo driver's friend, to take out some of the members of the student government.

"Are you shooting to be the senior class dictator or president?" I asked.

"I prefer Empress or Queen of the Senior Class."

"I thought I was in contention for that?" I joked. She elbowed me in the ribs for that one.

We went back to her place and went up to her room. I took off my top and bra and exposed my chest. My nipples were obviously bigger, and there was a noticeable growth in my breasts. Granted, they were still very small. I couldn't toss my breast pads away quite yet.

"Oh, my! Erika, you really are growing. They're so cute!" she squealed.

She downloaded the photo and compared it to the previous ones. There was definite growth. She took my hand and led me to her bed. Her fingers along my nipples made me flinch slightly.

"Hmmm, seems that they are getting more sensitive; I like that," remarked Laura. She took off her top and bra.

"So do I," I replied, and I leaned over to kiss her.

Laura continued to stimulate my nipples. It felt wonderful. The feelings of pleasure weren't just centralized around the nipples; rather, they went deep into my body. I felt tingles all over my body. I returned the favor and also rubbed and caressed her breasts and nipples. The changes in my body were so wonderful, and Laura took great pleasure in helping me discover them. There was none of the pressure or stress that I'd experienced when I tried to do this as a boy. Instead, it felt so natural that there was no pressure.

Just then, the phone rang. I told her to ignore it, but she answered it anyway.

"Hello?" asked Laura. Her breathing was rather heavy, and she paused slightly in the middle of the word. She listened and looked at me and smiled and then started laughing. "Okay, we'll be there, bye."

"What's up?" I asked

"That was Cat. She wants us to 'put aside our lust' and join her and Matt over at the pizza place," she said, giggling.

We got dressed, and I checked my makeup and brushed my hair. Laura said I looked cute and that we should be going.

We caught up with Matt and Cat at the pizza place. The rest of our prom group was there too. The guys were oblivious to the way Laura and I looked. Cat smiled a very sly smile, as did Kristen. Tracey just shook her head.

"What?" I asked, holding back a smile.

"Hey, look who finally made it here!" announced Alex, "Cat said that you were studying. You two need to lighten up and have fun, remember this is prom weekend."

"Good advice, Alex, thank you," replied Laura. To this day, I don't know how we all held in our laughter.

We hung out there for a couple of hours. We soon broke up into two conversations, the guys talking about sports and the girls talking about the prom. Laura, Cat, and I all had our appointments for the salon in the morning. Kristen and Tracey were doing the same thing at a different salon. Kristen reminded us to bring a change of clothes for the party at Alex's barn. For the next day or so, I was able to put my fears aside and focus on having fun.

I woke up early Saturday morning. I felt like a little kid on Christmas morning, as I was so excited about the Prom. My appointment at the salon wasn't until 11:00, so I had plenty of time to kill. It was clear and warm outside. Cat said that it wouldn't dare rain this weekend. I decided to go for a run. I slipped on a pair of shorts, a sports bra, a t-shirt, socks, and running shoes. It was nice enough outside, so I didn't need any sweats. I did my usual stretches. The coach was religious about us doing our stretches before running. I left a note for Mom and Sam, and then I took off.

Even with the Rev lurking about, I felt safe enough to run by myself. I headed down towards the school. There weren't a lot of people up at 7:00 in our neighborhood. I did see several rabbits and plenty of birds. I was aware of my surroundings. I kept to the sidewalks and selected a large looping route. Maybe it was just my imagination, but I swore that I could feel my breasts bounce a little as I ran.

I couldn't believe that there was only one month of school left. I thought about what would be going down in the next few months. After prom, there would be graduation. I had mixed feelings about the high school ends. I'd miss my friends and the comfort zone I had at Central. After school ended, I'd get my scar and nose repaired. After that, the next biggest thing would be the planning for Mom and Sam's wedding. They'd decided on the first Saturday in August as the date, and the invitations had been sent out. Mom wanted an outdoor wedding, so they'd reserved the park just south of town. It had a small river that ran through it and was a popular place for weddings. The reception would be held in our backyard, and Sam knew a caterer who would set up tents for the guests. Terri said that we could use their backyard too. When Sam and Mom finished with the list of guests, it looked like we'd have 100-120 people if everyone showed up.

I made the turn at the high school and started down on the main road towards downtown. Mom and Sam had agreed that I could get my plastic surgery after graduation. I'd be going to New York the week after graduation to get my nose and scar fixed. That would give me over six weeks to heal before the wedding. Our insurance had agreed to pay the cost. I think they did this because the work was going to be done with a FOML (Friends of Mrs. Lincoln) discount. Dr. David Ayres had offered me a greatly discounted price for the work. I wasn't going to turn it down. Mom was going up with me, and we were going to sightsee and shop the weekend before my surgery. She wanted to have a girls' weekend before the wedding. Mrs. Lincoln also had arranged for Tony to pick us up. She said that it was part of the company's health plan.

I came to an intersection, and I hung a right. I'd take this road for two more miles and then curve back into our neighborhood. The entire route was a little over six miles. I then thought about Laura. She'd be leaving for college a few weeks after the wedding. Neither of us wanted to think about being separated. We both knew it was inevitable, at least for her first year of school. By staying in Golden Hill until after the surgery and her going to the best school for her education just made too much sense, even if it hurt from an emotional point of view.

I was hoping to get my sexual reassignment surgery in the early summer of the following year. Laura and Cat both said that they wanted to be there for me, and I wanted them there too. Sam had agreed that the loan was a very good deal, and we'd sent in the paperwork. I was pleasantly surprised at how smoothly the medical side of my transition was progressing.

I reached the turn-off into our neighborhood. I'd worked up a good sweat and felt very relaxed and loose. I reached the house and did my cool-down routine. The coach was religious about that too. When I finished, I picked up the papers and headed inside.

The aroma of freshly brewed coffee told me immediately that Sam was up. It was amazing how easily Sam had become part of our lives. It was hard to imagine him not living with us.

As soon as I walked into the kitchen, I said, "Good morning, Dad."

Sam was sitting at the table reading a law brief for his latest trial. Mom was scrambling some eggs and cooking some bacon. It smelled very good.

"Hi, hon, how was your run?" asked Mom

"Great," I said. "Here are the papers."

"You want some breakfast?" asked Mom.

"Yes, please. Can I go shower first?" I asked.

"We'd both appreciate that," quipped Sam from behind his law brief.

I'd have thrown the Times at him, but I could hear him snickering.

I ran upstairs and took a quick shower, and changed. I put on a light cotton sleeveless dress and my sandals. I then went downstairs to eat.

Mom showed me the latest editorial page and went back to making my breakfast. The letters printed were still overwhelmingly in my favor. Many were angry that an outsider would come into town to try to gain publicity for a violent crime. The paper even had an editorial stating that the town didn't need people coming in to spread hate and misinformation. It made me feel very warm inside as I read it. The interesting thing was that for most people, my physical gender wasn't an issue.

After breakfast, I finished up some school work. I only had a short assignment to finish for Mr. Kline. When I finished it, my weekend was clear. I'd even been given the day off from work on Sunday. Mrs. Lincoln really did look after her 'girls.'

Around 10:30, Laura and Cat came over. We said goodbye and headed downtown. As we entered the salon, I looked up and saw my photo above the receptionist. Okay, I admit that I'm a bit egotistical about it, but you have to admit that it's pretty cool to see your picture displayed like you were a celebrity.

I really loved being pampered, and the salon did a great job. I'd been going there since last summer. I had my legs waxed there every month. It was so much better than shaving! I was getting my hair dyed and styled. I was also getting my nails done, both fingers and toes. The manicurist had asked us earlier that week to show her our dresses, so she could pick a good color for each of us.

I had my hair done first. My hair color for most of the school had been light brown. My stylist felt that I should go with a more auburn color. Cat and Laura felt that it would look great, and so I agreed, although reluctantly. I was very nervous about doing anything drastic on the day of the Prom. There were visions of looking like a clown running through my head. The stylist promised me that I'd love it.

Cat went for a new look and had her long hair cut shorter to just off her shoulders. She looked great, although I missed seeing her in a ponytail. Laura kept her hair the same length but had it curled slightly.

I was very pleased with my new hair color. It wasn't that different from my original color, but I liked the slight red tone. My nails were done in a light violet color to match my dress. Cat and Laura both had their nails done in a rich red. We talked as our nails dried.

"How do you like your new hairstyle, Cat? I think you look lovely."

"I love it. I've been wanting to go to a shorter style for a long time. I told Matt that I was doing it, and he didn't seem to mind."

"I think you look great too, Cat," added Laura. "I also love your new hair color, Erika; it really suits you."

"Thanks. I think you look wonderful too!" I remarked.

"Well, it's settled; we all look great; so look out, world!" exclaimed Cat.

We were all going to meet over at Laura's house to get dressed. Laura insisted on doing our makeup. I didn't mind, and even Cat was agreeable to the idea. Laura's parents had invited our families over for drinks, so they could all see us before we left to go over to Kristen's.

Cat and I drove over to Laura's house around four. This gave us plenty of time to get ready. We went upstairs and changed.

I went into the bathroom and put on the lavender lingerie that Mrs. Lincoln had bought me. I wanted tonight to be perfect in every way! I was hoping I'd get enough help from the push-up bra so I could skip the pads. I had to admit that it did a good job. I then slipped on my robe and rejoined Cat and Laura.

Laura had just finished with Cat, and she looked fantastic. I only hoped I'd looked half as good as she did.

"Okay, Erika... you're next," stated Laura. She pointed to the chair in front of her makeup table.

I sat down and put myself into Laura's hands. Laura is very serious about her makeup abilities, and she methodically did my face. She wouldn't let me see what she was doing, but I had complete trust in her. They both commented on my lingerie. Laura was extremely pleased that I was wearing a garter belt.

I wasn't disappointed by her work. I looked great! She'd done a great job concealing my scar so that it was barely noticeable -- even by me. I really loved how she'd made my eyes look so lovely.

While she did her own makeup, Cat and I carefully got dressed. I wasn't used to wearing a strapless bra, but it was necessary due to my dress having spaghetti straps. I carefully slipped it on, I didn't want to mess up the dress, my face, or my hair. I succeeded and was happy with how I looked. Mom had loaned me a string of pearls and some matching earrings. They complemented the dress perfectly. I slipped on my open-toed four-inch heels, and I had to admit that I looked fantastic.

Cat looked absolutely stunning in her black gown, and Laura was exquisite in her red strapless gown. All three of us were beaming as we posed for the mirror. Laura came up and put some of her favorite perfume on my neck and wrists. I closed my eyes and let the scent seep in.

"So, are we already or what?" asked Laura.

"Let's go wow our loved ones," stated Cat as she grabbed her purse and wrap.

"I'm definitely wowed," said Laura; she was looking at me and smiling.

I felt myself start to blush as I grabbed my wrap and purse.

"You're so sexy when you blush," whispered Laura.

We went downstairs and were greeted by heartfelt compliments. Mom was speechless as I came into the room. Sam looked very pleased.

Mom was standing there beaming at me. "Oh, honey, you're so beautiful. I'm so happy for you!"

We posed for the first of many photos. We were totally into full prom mode. Matt arrived and was thrilled with Cat's appearance, as well he should have been! He pinned on her corsage, and they then posed for several photos.

Laura was not to be outdone. She brought out our flowers. She had selected a very lovely orchid corsage for me and took great care in pinning it on me. Her corsage was very similar, and I helped put it on her. Because she was wearing a strapless gown, her corsage had a wristband.

We posed for several photos. I was happy that Laura's parents had come around and could share in her joy this evening. I was also happy that I was able to share this moment with Mom and Sam.

We headed over to Kristen's house in Laura's car. We were all excited about the limo ride to the restaurant. Matt said that he felt like royalty riding in a car with three beautiful women.

At Kristen's house, we caught up with the rest of our group. Kristen looked great. She was wearing a strapless silver gown. It looked like it had been painted onto her. Tracey's dress was red, and it was cut lower than Laura's. The guys were all in classic James Bond tuxedos. Mike was the only one who deviated from the black and white scheme by wearing a bow tie and cummerbund in an African tribal pattern. Kristen's mother had us all pose together for a group shot.

A few minutes later, the limo arrived. It was a large black stretch job. As we walked out to it, Cliff pulled in the driveway with Mel. They were having dinner with his parents. Cliff gave me a wolf whistle when he saw me. Mel shook her head in mock disgust.

"You all look great. I'm glad to see our products have such pretty girls to wear them," exclaimed Mel. "Oh, Erika! You look lovely, and I love your new hair color; it really looks great."

I smiled and thanked her. I was happy that they'd seen me. Actually, I wanted everyone I knew to see me!